Extreme Discipline

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amie - posted on 01/11/2011

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*** MOD Alert***

I am locking this thread. It is going nowhere and has dissolved.

Amie
~DM mod

Jodi - posted on 01/10/2011

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"around what age would you say a child learns consequence? "



Julianne, even a 17 year old believes he is invincible. Many children this age still don't understand true consequence. The answer to this question is not black and white. Logical reasoning does not develop in a child until around age 7. That's a fact. The true maturity of logical reasoning doesn't come until much later (more in their early 20s).



Obviously some individuals mature early or later than others. In the meantime, many children do things without considering consequences, whether we, as parents, have taught them or not. The logic that you will teach them the consequences before they act is fundamentally flawed. Because while sometimes they will listen and pay attention to that, there really is not a FULL comprehension of the true consequences unless they have experienced them or until they have matured sufficiently to take them seriously.

Minnie - posted on 01/10/2011

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Wow, many posts overnight. But going back to your comment, Sherri, what did this little toddler do that was so WRONG (your words- doing wrong necessitates punishment) that warranted being squirted in the face? Ugh. Wrong. You know, when I hear that I think robbery. Vandalism. Battery. Murder. But here wrong= 22 month old crying because he or she can't handle his or her big feelings.



The child was being a normal toddler. The woman said she squirts her child in the face for having 'temper tantrums.' These are displays of BIG emotions that the child does not have the ability to deal with in a socially acceptable manner. It isn't WRONG. It's age-appropriate. Being angry or frustrated doesn't necessitate punishment. Punishment is shame- it isn't teaching. The mother should be empathizing with her child's emotions and helping the child to deal with his or her emotions in a better way. TEACHING. Not punishing.

~Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2011

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....so someone said something that wasn't true, and it sent you in to a spin.

for example..;someone calls me a whore....do I get mad?.....no....I'm not a whore, so why get so angry about something that's not true in the first place?
especially when dealing with people you've never met that know absolutely nothing about you.
Why give them that power over you?
Pretty simple, if you ask me.

Never give anyone enough power to control YOUR emotions.
That's all I'm sayin'.....but Hell....what do I know?

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Also, I find it very odd that you would defend your mom even though she BEAT you (which is NOT done out of love), but yet you call a simple spank (which IS done out of love and is ONLY to 'snap' the kid back to reality) the same? I am thoroughly confused!

Beating= Repetitive 'spanking' or smacking with an object OR your hand, but not taking care to notice if it's hurting your child and really not giving a damn if it does or not.

Spank= Use your hand. If it hurts your hand, you're hurting your child. You take the care to still tell your child 'No' first, give several warnings and/or timeout and THEN do a spank. Notice, I said A spank, meaning ONE. WITH your hand, NOT any other object.

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C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Kylie, I did not harass Julianne. I just asked her to spell my name correctly. You wouldn't know b/c it wasn't sent to you.

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Yeah, I have no problem showing people what was really said, so keep crying wolf, hun..

These are my messages to Julianne, since she is blocked, I cannot see what she wrote back between the two..


you
13 minutes ago
If..
If you're going to use my last name, spell it out properly, please. Thanks. BTW you're blocked, so don't bother messaging me back.

you
5 minutes ago
Couldn't read what you wrote b/c you're BLOCKED. There was no reason to message me back, I just don't see why you can't put the O at the end of my last name.. Just didn't make sense and a little disrespectful. Please refrain from messaging me back. I really have no interest in conversing with you further.. Ever.

Kylie - posted on 01/11/2011

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HU?? Please don't make up lies or i will post your PM to me for everyone to see. I did not respond after you told me I was blocked.

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Only coming back to say one thing.. I would hardly call asking someone to spell my last name correctly harassment.. I even said not to message me back, but you did even though you are blocked.. So who's doing the harassing?

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2011

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tbh I cant fully remember whose who and who said what I think Ive only skimmed some comments> i would probably get angry too if someone insulted my mum. My baby is still awake (trying to teach her to go to sleep by herself atm) so Im signing off for now

[deleted account]

yep it was foolish of me to get pissed off at insults towards my mother. i have a temper issue sometimes. im working on it.



i was being sarcastic, as in you had every right to come in and help...i think my sarcasm is taken as seriousness here.







prat is harassing me via pm again........

[deleted account]

i thought you meant laureen....i was going to say..what she said was in no way immature.. i didnt see kylies post though..

Rosie - posted on 01/11/2011

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the post is deleted now, lets not worry about it...back to the topic at hand!!! ;)

~Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2011

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No, I don't mod here.....which is why I can point out in my normal way that some moms are acting like children.

I'll be more than happy to babysit though, until one of the community mods steps in, and tell you all how foolish you look fighting like high school girls online......
=)

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2011

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ok thats fine just seemed rather silly that someone is a moderator for one group and can carry on with immaturity in another. Doesnt set very good eamples for a mums site. But I guess thats how its run. As long as I know the rules

~Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2011

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wow....can't leave you ladies alone for a minute, huh?

CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!!
We're supposed to be adults. remember?

sheesh.

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2011

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I thought this site was managed well but why are people who are moderators on the welcome page allowed to attack people on here just because someone has different views and they dont believe in smacking themselves?

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2011

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I understand you guys have completely different views but you shouldnt take it so personally you can debate without attacking. Its just the internet no need to get too worked up

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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I didn't IMPLY anything. SHE'S the one that said her mother beat her!!!! How was I IMPLYING it?? It came straight from Julianne herself. Again, starting to remember why I quit coming back here. I am so over you ladies. All of you.

[deleted account]

sherri, i was in no way slamming you, i think no lower of you as a person then i would any other individual, i know in your heart you think you did what was right. but its not. i was never slamming you, just the issue.

[deleted account]

i said sorry, i have a temper, i was spanked as a child, im working on it. i admit the problem, im trying to fix it. when someone insults myself or my family i get pissed.

Charlie - posted on 01/11/2011

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Take the catfight out of the classroom ladies .

Dear jeebus you implied things about Julianes mother then she retaliated now you are both as bad as each other .

[deleted account]

. It's really all starting to come together now, though. If you think it's funny your mom beat you and this is how you act as an 'adult'

And Julianne, I'm starting to see the connection of being beaten and how you act now..


Julianne, you are.. Ridiculous


, Julianne.. So mature, hun.. I mean, really.



ok, those were not personal at all, im just a nut...

Sherri - posted on 01/11/2011

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Julianne she isn't the problem here. You happen just not like what she is saying. I am sorry now that their is more than one person to gang up on for this issue it isn't okay anymore??

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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I wasn't the one that started it last month, Julianne. You accused me of something and wouldn't let it go. Much like what you're doing now. If you have something to say to me, take it to a PM.

Sherri - posted on 01/11/2011

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Julianne I am sorry may have missed a few posts I can't keep up with as fast as this is going. I thought you were saying I thumped you.

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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I said the way you ACT, not who you are as a person b/c the two could be completely different for all I know.

And yet you tell me to go fuck myself?? Don't call No Thumps if you're going to 'attack' right back.

[deleted account]

do you not know what a personal attack is when you see it??? maturity level, actually insulting who i am as a person...seriously???

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Yeah.. And talk about No Thumps. Your post would def. be considered a violation if mine is.

Sherri - posted on 01/11/2011

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Kylie then those are extreme cases this is not even relatively the spanking we are referring too. 1-2 open hand spanks on the bum over clothing never in anger or frustration. I was also spanked but my mom used it correctly. I guess that is where the confusion may lie in all this spanking controversy.

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Julianne, I never said your mom didn't love you. I just said her beating you wasn't out of love, it was out of anger. There's a difference.

C. - posted on 01/11/2011

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Kylie, if you were spanked out of the heat of the moment, your mom didn't spank properly. You should never ever hit out of anger. What your mom did is almost as bad as actually BEATING someone.

Like I said before, you tell them 'No' first, give warnings and/or timeouts and THEN spank. You should never use a spanking as the first step towards disciplining your child. People that do are very, very wrong in that.

Charlie - posted on 01/11/2011

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"Because they aren't Julianne a beating is not even in the same ballpark as a spanking "

It is in the same "ballpark" it is the exact same action with a different level of severity , who are you trying to kid ? yourselves ?

Kylie - posted on 01/11/2011

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No I dont know many spanker's but i know some former spanker's and they all stopped and learned better ways to teach their kids because they realized they were using it as a knee jerk reaction and spanking out of frustration.

I've seen it in shopping centers...Toddler in the trolley crying, mum says stop crying or i will spank you, kid cries louder, kid gets a slap across the legs because mum is frustrated and embarrassed. It teaches the kid nothing.

Also i was spanked and my mum did it mostly in the heat of the moment. Don't tell i dont know what I'm talking about C.

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