Extreme Discipline

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Stifler's - posted on 01/09/2011

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Oh dear. My mother in law has taught my kid to squeeze water out of his sippy cup and she squeezes it onto his face in the car and even when he was a tiny baby she would do it and he gets upset yet she thinks it is hilarious. It disturbs me and I grab it off her and want to rip her head off. Then I caught HIM squeezing his milk out all over the carpet one day!! Spraying water on a kid would do nothing if my kid was having a tantrum.

Becky - posted on 01/09/2011

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No, I would definitely not spray my young child in the face with water! Especially not to stop a tantrum - they have their mouth open screaming, you could get the water down their throat and choke them!
As for strapping them into a time out chair though, it may not be as bad as it sounds. I have buckled my children into their highchairs for a time-out. Sometimes I feel that's more appropriate for Cole (who is almost 3, not 22 months) than isolating him in another room. Plus, then I can set the oven timer for his 2 minutes and he knows when it's up. With Zach, it's not really a time out, just a way of getting him out of harms way when he's being overly clingy while I'm cooking dinner or has broken something glass and I need to make sure he stays out of it!
And although I've spanked Cole, I think 2ce in his life in frustration, I hate spanking. I am trying my best to never ever do it again for any of my children.

[deleted account]

Hell I splash one particular cat quite frequently becasue he's the dumb one who never learned how often you'll get splashed or bitter apple sprayed, he still jumps up on the kitchen counter when I'm preparing food! His sister figured that out a looooong time ago! That's why she's the good cat and he's the dumb one ;-) With that being said, dummy is my snuggly cat who sleeps on my head and pillow with me, while the other cat is quite content curled up at the end of the bed on my feet.

Becky - posted on 01/09/2011

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I read this on a friends mums wall before i had children and found it again when Harry was little. its stuck on my wall and i read it or glance at it every day pretty much.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Thats what i try to live by,
My kids are age one,four twelve fifteen and eighteen four boys and a baby girl, if i can bring them up without violence its the very very least i can do.

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I wouldn't even spray my CAT in the face. Pets deserve just as much respect as you would give a child IMO.

Bonnie - posted on 01/09/2011

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That's just crazy IMO. Many people spray cats in the face to get them to stop claw at furniture or jumping on the table/counter, etc. Wow. My younger son often likes to stand in the tub, he knows I don't like it obviously, but that doesn't mean I am going to go slapping away at his bum until he decides to sit back down.

Lacye - posted on 01/09/2011

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I would never spray my child with a water bottle or strap her down to a chair for time out! That is considered child abuse! I'm sorry but my child is never going to be treated that way! WTF! When my daughter throws a temper tantrum, I blow lightly in her face to get her attention to get her attention. She doesn't get traumatized by water being sprayed in her face! I don't spank my child when she is in the bath tub either. If she can't sit down like I ask, she gets out. Yeah I'm right there beside her the entire time, but I don't want her to fall and get hurt. Spanking in the bath tub while they are standing can cause them to fall and hit their head on the side of it. I'm not willing to be the cause of my child getting brain damage!

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omg.....what a reason to hit your child!!! she stood up in the tub so she got a spanking....wtf? gabby stands up in the tub, i put slip resistant sticky things down so she wouldn't fall, and i sit right there and pay 100% attention to her....she likes playing in the tub very vigorously, so she learned how to hold her breath when her face goes under the water.You let the kid explore so they learn how to protect themselves....

Tara - posted on 01/09/2011

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I did already, over there in the OP. silly people, i think of a dog pissing on the floor when i read her post.
same with the lady who looks her kid in the eye and says "bad".like a doggy who piddled on the floor. ;P

Nicole - posted on 01/09/2011

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"While the child is in the quiet area, the provider should stay with the child and offer some kind of quiet activity such as reading a story, listening to music with a headset or playing with puzzles. This is not meant to be the “naughty chair” but a regular part of the setting that anyone can go to for a bit of peace and quiet. It should be a warm and inviting place within sight of the rest of the program. When the child is calm and indicates he is ready, the provider can help him rejoin the play or move on to a different activity. Time away is not about punishment, it is about teaching the child how to gain control of his emotions."

This is what is considered appropriate discipline in a daycare setting. Even time outs are considered inappropriate, "Child care providers should not be using “time out” as a strategy for correcting or guiding children’s behaviour because it doesn’t teach appropriate behaviour. Time out is never appropriate for children under three years old. Sometimes a time away for older children can be used as a way to help them learn how to remove themselves from situations that have spiraled out of control. As a last resort, when a child is really having a hard time managing in the group, the child care provider might take the child to a quiet area and stay with him until he is calm. The provider needs to acknowledge the feelings, but stress that the child can not act inappropriately. So the provider might say, “I know you are frustrated, but you can not hit.” Then the provider must tell the child what he can do. The provider might say something like, “If you get frustrated with your friends, you can ask me for help or you can come away and do
something else until you calm down.”

I know cold showers and squirting would be out of the question in this setting, as would verbal assault...for rather obvious reasons.

Nicole - posted on 01/09/2011

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I do not agree with squirting kids with water/cold showers but I disagree that this is any more extreme than spanking/restraining.

I am a fan of redirection and of listening to a child.

Sarah - posted on 01/09/2011

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It reminds me of that Dr. Phil episode where that woman put her son in a freezing cold shower with all his clothes on to discipline him. And spraying a 22mo with a water bottle as a method of discipline? Give me a break. I can't even fathom her reasoning behind that.

[deleted account]

A few weeks ago I squirted my son & nephew while washing the dishes. They came back at me with water guns...thankfully NOT a super soaker! But, then again this was not a punishment...just fun.

LaCi - posted on 01/09/2011

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I wouldn't even spray my cats to deter them from clawing furniture. I'm pretty sure If I squirted water in my kids face he would think it was hilarious and keep doing whatever it was just to get me to do it again.

[deleted account]

I didn't start really disciplining my son until he was 2-2 1/2. But squriting water in the face? Well, it is a form of training, but I wouldn;t use it on a child. Strapping to a time out chair? Yeah, didn;t do that one either. I have struggled and put slight pressue on my son to keep him in a tme out chair, or put him on my lap and sat in the time out chair with him. I do believe in a swat on the hand. I do believe in spanking as needed for a last resort-but didn't start that maybe until age 3ish. But spanking a 22 month old for standing in the tub?! Um, spaking a slippery child WILL lead to possible injury. I don't agee with that at all. But again to play Devil's Advocate: what works for one child may not work another child. While the posts I read may be questionable in some opinions, I didn;t read anything that made me feel that a child was beaing beaten and abused bloody murder.

Minnie - posted on 01/09/2011

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I know. Thinking of squirting my 27 month old in the face or hitting her makes me get short of breath. My 4 1/2 year old too. I could just picture the look on her face of how I betrayed her trust.

Katherine - posted on 01/09/2011

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It's even more shocking to me because my daughter is the same age. I couldn't IMAGINE doing that to her!!!
I would NEVER lay a hand on her.

Minnie - posted on 01/09/2011

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I don't even squirt my cats with water! I take them into my home and my care and I intend to respect their bodies.



But squirting with water is in the same category as spanking for me. Personal bodily integrity. No child deserves to be squirted in the face or hit.



I just read her comment. Absolutely disgusting. Does she enjoy being a little god and watching her babe cringe as she threatens him? For expressing his emotions?

Nikki - posted on 01/09/2011

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Bloody hell, really? people are that stupid. Read a book, take a parenting class. I wish we had a cyber slap option. There are some real gems in that group.

Jenn - posted on 01/09/2011

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Also, holding your child in time out - or as one Mom said "strapping their child down" - is much worse than a spray of water in the face. JMO of course. ;)

Jenn - posted on 01/09/2011

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Isn't that what you're supposed to do to a naughty cat? Not a naughty child! I don't know that it's totally unacceptable, as spanking is far worse IMO, but I wouldn't do it. I do know when I was little and I would have a tantrum, I would hold my breath so my Mum said she would throw a cold wet cloth on my face to make me gasp and start breathing again. Can't say it traumatized me in any way.

Sal - posted on 01/09/2011

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yep distracion works, spraying in the face with water, not so cool really,( neither is smacking ) but i guess harmless on the whole, would i do it, probally not, but i have put a bucket of water on a tantrum throwing pre teen, yep the shock got him right out of it, but tantrums are pretty hard work for a mum so it does lead us in odd direction, in a world where kids get truey abused and beaten i guess a little water isn;t too bad,

Katherine - posted on 01/09/2011

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It's the one where she says she sprays her kid in the face with water.

Mums the word :/ Just opinions.





Edit to add: If you REALLY have to say something I guess you can thump on her a bit.

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