Fake, phony, tacky etc

Jodi - posted on 05/04/2012 ( 69 moms have responded )

2,694

52

168

Joy, this is my sorry attempt for you! lol

This is spawned from the rental wedding cake thread. So many people seemed really put off from the idea of a fake cake, but really, so many people do things in their day to day lives that are fake, Fake, FAKE!

Examples: Make-up, hair dying/highlighting, girdles/corsettes or whatever they're called now, push-up bras, acrylic nails, boob jobs, tummy tucks etc etc etc.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't see a problem with someone wanting to do these things, do what makes you feel good about yourself, I myself wear make-up (although rarely) and have dyed my hair when younger. BUT, a fake cake for ONE day is tacky...but no one seems to mind someone faking their hair color, body size or what not every single day?

So, at what point does presenting a false image, be it at a wedding, or in day to day with hair, nail etc etc become tacky to you? At what point is about yourself and what point does it become about show for others? For me, it's when someone has put SO much effort into themselves it appears that it's really just for attention, not to make themselves feel good about themselves. You know those ladies, theater style make-up, hair that is so obviously white blonde and brittle from the bleach and boobs that they can rest their chin on they're pushed so far up. I am not talking about women who are naturally blonde or are naturally well endowed, the difference IMO is obvious between these two types based on the whole package. But then again, who am I to say that these measures don't make them feel good about themselves? Guess I'll never know, but I think it looks tacky.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I don't think coloring your hair, etc. is projecting an untrue or "fake" self image in the same way that renting a wedding cake does. Here's my logic.

If you die your hair, it doesn't say anything about what you are able to accomplish or the value you contribute to society, it just says that your skin tone looks better with a different hue than your natural one. Same with make-up--if someone is wearing make-up, you can see that it is make-up, they are not trying to pass off their made up face as their natural skin.

Whereas, renting a wedding cake is trying to project an image of someone who is more successful, more "valuable" to society than they actually are. It has to do with accomplishments rather than just looks. It is stupid to feel the need to show off how much one can buy, but a lot of people attach their self worth to their accomplishments. That is not such a bad thing at all, but society often tells us that those accomplishments need to be financial to matter, so people are pressured into doing stupid crap like that in order to prove their value to society.

Having a giant cake doesn't actually make them any more valuable to society, so I consider that "fake", whereas a new hair color doesn't portray a value that is not there--the new hair color just looks better with the skin tone, which value wise, doesn't matter one way or the other. Of course, whether someone can afford a giant cake or not is not a true measure of value either, but because it is linked to financial stability, society sees it as one.

Aleks - posted on 05/05/2012

546

0

46

Fake orange tan.. he he he.. tacky tacky tacky!!!

Many spray on tans are tacky tacky tacky too...lol



Brittle peroxide blond with black eyebrows and fake orange tan.. yeah yeah...pmsl



ETA:

I was recently looking at a cake website.. and a decent 2-3 layered, but smallest, wedding cake STARTED at $450-600. That is not cheap! Depending on how many guests you have... the cost can get even higher!

I doubt they were the expensive cake company, but am sure they weren't the cheapest. Still.... that IS a lot of money on a cake... and like I said in my post about the rent-a-wedding cake thread... its a display, while the real cake gets served up behind the scenes, IF there is a cake to start with!!! Every wedding I went to did not serve up the cake that was on display (if there even was a cake on display - some ppl skip the whole wedding cake too). So rent a display cake.. and if you know someone who can bake... you can have them bake a cake that is then cut up for the guests!

Sal - posted on 05/04/2012

1,816

16

33

My ideas on this are that you can enhance what you have a bit of make up paint your nails dye over the Greys pop on a bit of makeup hell even pop in some chicken fillets to fill out your dress. The bottom layer of a wedding cake or you can fake tan hair extensions full ott makeup fake nails. Huge fake boobs. TO me it probally is how far you take it that makes it tacky,

Sal - posted on 05/05/2012

1,816

16

33

What I do find tacky Is not being fake but pretending I your not, big deal buy a fake Louis vuittion, don't try and say it's real, get hair extensions don't think any one is fooled it is real when you were a brunette with a bob last week and waist length blonde this week.... Your living on minimum wage and your sporting a 5 carat dress ring.....

Sherri - posted on 05/04/2012

9,593

15

387

I feel they still payed for their wedding. They just didn't pay for it outright and decided to pay for it in payments in the form of a loan. There is absolutely nothing fake with that in my opinion. Least they did it all on their own without mommy or daddy footing the bill.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

69 Comments

View replies by

Sara - posted on 09/06/2012

21

0

1

each to their own. we are all a happy mess. who knows what is inside someone else's head. I myself don't require that level of maintenance, but some people do.

Karen - posted on 05/08/2012

183

0

12

Damn Little Miss! I do most of the stuff you listed on page one! I am fake as hell! LOL!

I could go without most forms of fakery, but shaving is not one of those things!! You can pry the razor from my cold dead fingers!!

Stifler's - posted on 05/07/2012

15,141

154

597

I don't see makeup or acrylic nails as fake, they're decorations. Weddings are fun if it's important to you then do it, if not then don't. I wanted to buy a dress, get my hair done by a pro and makeup, suits, new shoes, food cooked by someone else, flowers and I don't regret a cent to be honest. If it makes you feel good like getting fake boobs or wearing makeup or getting your hair dyed then who cares. If it takes you 3 hours to get ready in the morning because you can't be seen without makeup? You have a problem.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/07/2012

953

1

18

Sherri, no way! I would never roll my eyes at anyone's anything. I'm am one of the few people in this thread that don't think the word "fake" is having nice things or fake nails or anything (by the way I soaked my nails off 2 nights ago lol) ANYWAY, if you want 1 or 16 or 32 people in your wedding party that is your decision.

Sal, that sounds like an awesome idea about the ring! My husband paid cash for my set, it was about 7k and not only did I not wear it on vacation for the first few years but now that I have a baby....yeah I barely wear it. It's sad but if it were up to me, I would just want a band...ok maybe an eternity band.

Sal - posted on 05/07/2012

1,816

16

33

And I didn't get an engagement ring, just a wedding band with a few diamonds, I want a BIG ring for my 10year anniversary.... It will mean so much then.... Only 5 to go

Sal - posted on 05/07/2012

1,816

16

33

My wedding was almost a side act.... we planned to marry in aug but our move was delayed and I was preg so we postoned.... We married in april my baby was 3 months old she got christened in the morning we had a lunch reception with some short sweet speeches popped in and changed got married at sunset on the beach had champagne cheese plates and dessert and all home and finished by 7pm.... Very casual affair, no wedding cake no dancing and got flowers from a ladies garden because I we planned it so quick and couldn't order the type I wanted at such sort notice, my brides maids both chose a black dress and I gave them beautiful wraps to coordinate, the brides maids carried my daughter and my niece instead of flowers, and we used chillis as button holes....and I bought my dress off the rack the Thursday before the sat wedding, all planned in about 6 weeks and 600 k
AwY

Sherri - posted on 05/06/2012

9,593

15

387

@Jackie you would have totally rolled your eyes at our wedding then. We had 16 in our wedding party. Yup you heard correctly 1 maid of honor, 5 bridesmaids, 1 best man, 5 groomsmen, 1 ring bearer, 1 flower girl and then us of course.

However, I wore my grandmothers wedding gown and my mother paid for alterations, I had a friend make us a 3 tier wedding cake for $30, I had a friend make all my bridesmaids and flower girls dresses, I had a friend make my enormous bouquet, boutineers, girls flowers, parents and grandparents flowers, got a deal on a photographer was my parents friend who had a photography business, had a friend do our video, paid for our D.J., my parents paid for our reception at an amazing cinderella type hall, we paid for our limo. All total it was only about $3,000 I think.

I seriously had the Cinderella wedding with all the bells and whistles with 125 of our closest friends and family. If you are frugal it doesn't need to cost you boat loads.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/06/2012

953

1

18

To me, the wedding thing is ridiculous. My husband and I bought a home in December 2007 and then May 2008 we got married. We had promised to put every cent we had into the house (fixing it up and making it a home) so we had a very very small gathering in the back yard (which is beautiful) and then the reception was everyone and their mother in my husband's fire house with dishes my immediate family made (chicken parm, pasta etc) our cake was made by a dear friend of mine and the music was a DJ that was out of the business, we payed for him but he gave us a discount. My dress was straight off the $99 rack at David's Bridal and my sister, like I said earlier, is a hair dresser so she did my hair and nails and make up. I told my sister she could pick out any dress she wanted for her maid of honor dress and she picked a pink (yuck lol) dress so I found a matching tie for my husband's best man. Poor guy, he had JUST gotten back from Iraq less than a month before that and I made him wear a pink tie in front of family members he had yet to see since he got back lol

Jenny - posted on 05/06/2012

4,426

16

126

I used to wear light makeup and dye my hair but have stopped in the last year. I saw the insane pressure put on girls to be aesthetically different and perfect, even really young ones, and balked. I do understand liking style and wanting to express yourself and just the fun of it. I decided that I want to set an example for my kids that what is important comes from character and achievement and action and not to get hung up on the physical stuff. I do shave and wear deodorant because it's uncomfortable if I don't. I work in an office environment with many interior designers and high end clients and I am still presentable. I'm feeling liberated now by not having to deal with it actually.

I can't get on the wedding band wagon though. It is so much money being put out but the payoff is the marriage itself. We have talked about if we ever do get married we'd go to a JOP and then have a big party. We'd have a camping setup with a pig roast and our friends playing live music with lots of games and fun. That's more of our style.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2012

2,694

52

168

"Jodi Z, It is true that designer clothes, hair die, and make-up cost money, but EVERYTHING costs money, and I don't think the sheer act of wearing designer clothes, hair die, or make-up translates into an attempt to show off what one can afford. If it translates only as a sign of wealth, one could say that wealthy people who did not wear designer clothes, make-up, and die their hair are just as "fake" as those who do because they are portraying an image that is not an accurate depiction of their true selves."

reading my post from earlier, I see I did state that it equates to the portrayal of wealth. In my head, I didn't clarify on my post, I didn't mean it ONLY translated to wealth, just that, these things DO cost money, so a poor person CAN"T afford them, usually. But, I do know some people that get their nails done, or pedicures or buy spendy jeans to look good, but can't pay their mortgage or put food on the table for their kids. THAT is fake to me and more what I was thinking of when I made that earlier post. And, I don't feel like, in the money issue it works both ways. I really don't feel like choosing NOT to spend money you actually DO have is even remotely the same to spending money you DON'T have.

Oh, and the whole wedding loan thing, I just don't get it...it's going to take you how many years to pay off that loan for ONE DAY? I mean, do what you gotta do I guess to enjoy your special day, it just doesn't seem like the brightest idea. We spent 3k on our wedding and it was awesome! lol

Aleks - posted on 05/05/2012

546

0

46

yeah.. agree with you Kelly.



Besides, I have heard that the average wedding costs so much these days, one would almost have to take out some kind of personal loan to do it - if one is doing it on ones own. Average wedding these days (at least here in aust) costs btw $20-$40,000. THAT is a lot of money.

Yeah, true one CAN do it cheaper.... but... if its something one believes they are doing only once in their lives... why not make it a big celebration. A life time memory.... (shrugs)



ETA:

And if both parties are working without any other huge financial commitments.... then why not?

[deleted account]

How is taking out a loan for a wedding any different than taking out a loan for a house?

I guess one could say you need a house, but really, most people buy much larger, more expensive homes than they actually NEED. All one *needs* is a structure big enough for a bed for each person, and a bath and kitchen, but most people want entire rooms for each person living in the home in addition to the bath and kitchen, then they want "formal" sitting rooms, and "formal" dinning rooms, and all that extra crap....If they like it, that's fine, having a home you like, or a wedding you like, is not fake, even if you have to borrow money to get it--as long as you can pay it back.

Aleks - posted on 05/05/2012

546

0

46

@Sherrie
"I view the renting of the cake differently why spend money on something you have no intention of serving anyways. Since most weddings don't even serve cake anymore but pastries or other such things. It is simply tradition to have a cake to show so why spend an arm and a leg if you don't really want to eat it anyways. I have never seen a cake and thought wow they are trying to show how much money they have. I have simply looked at a cake and thought wow how pretty or ugly for some and almost always thought what a shame virtually all of that will end up in the trash since very few guests ever actually eat it anyways."

OMG.. Totally like me ... this is EXACTLY how I see it...

@Jodi Zippity-doo
OMG!!! I am sooooooo like you in this respect! And I agree with what you are saying. Though I tend to wear make-up a bit more often (whenever I go out/special occasion.. so if someone's birthday party - I will wear make up, dinner out.. I will wear make up). I DO wear perfume - love the smell. I do wear deo, but I use the natural stuff from rock crystals.. and the lotions - pure coconut oil :-) (though I have use avocado and olive oil as well)

I don't think that people who do all the tanning, make up, hair done, pushup bra, expensive clothes, etc etc are FAKE.. but just like Sal said... it depends on how far you push it. The more you push it the more tacky it becomes....

Janice - posted on 05/04/2012

1,890

18

63

I am already married and my cake was tasty but looked cheap and was inexpensive because it was bought from a grocery store. It was 3 three tiers but they were on separate plates not stacked. It was nice but not my dream wedding cake for sure. A billion things went wrong with my wedding and I always joke with my hubby that I want a do over! :)







I get what you are saying about your SIL and how she overspent in order to look good. I just feet like having a fake cake is spending money just to look good when you could just buy a cheap cake if you really didnt care.



ETA: When I was married 6.5 years ago wedding cakes were priced "by the slice" and it was usually 3-4$ per slice. We had a guest list of 120 and 90 came so 300+$ for a cake was way out of our budget. We spent like 120$ including an extra 1/2 sheet cake we thought we needed but wasn't even cut into grrr

[deleted account]

Oh they had the parents help as well. My FFIL put almost 2 thousand in the wedding I know her husband parents didn't put much. As I myself I'm saving as much as we can. No help from no one. My mom is only paying for my dress because she wants to but the rest we doing on our own. We also minimize our guestlist so it won't be expensive. Meaning if we only see a person once a yr or no contact that person don't get invited. We prob have at least 40 to 50 guest instead of spending with 150 to 160 guest.



I don't need to take out a loan and start my marriage in debt but w/e to each on their own. I don't care of anyone business but my own. I don't pay no one's bills nor no one pays mine.

[deleted account]

I'm not married yet I'm engaged but I had heard it's better to do that. I'm not even considering buying a fake cake BUT I have heard it's better than to buy a 3 layer cake which it's going to cost you prob 150 buying at least a layer prob cost 100. Remember weddings are expensive and planning a wedding you could bargain with venues and etc.

Janice - posted on 05/04/2012

1,890

18

63

Jessica - why couldn't you just buy a small cake enough to feed your guests? Why it it okay to pay for an extra fake layer just to look good?

Now don't get me wrong, I would totally do the whole half real half fake cake to save money AND have good looking cake. I wouldn't care what people thought because looking at my big, pretty cake would make me happy.

I'm just wondering why that is not fake in your eyes but taking a loan out to pay for a wedding is.

[deleted account]

Well I suppose I am fake according to some of your definitions. But being fake makes me feel good about myself. No skin of your back! I mean, why would I want to be a miserable depressed bitch if I can do things considered "fake" to boost my self-esteem and overall mental demeanor?

I agree with someone else (I forget who) whose defintition of fake is welcoming gays, then rallying agains,t proclaiming organic, then eating McDonald's. That is what fake means to me: a false impression. Not if you paint your nails or dye your hair, or have fake tits ;-)

[deleted account]

People judge to quickly and even if the old man was living like that what is it to you? I only think being fake is more being a hypocrite. Talking to a person even though you don't like that person and then when they leave you talk crap about that person OR buying stuff that you know you can't afford just to show off. Buying a cake is not showing off it's more being real. Might as well by a fake cake and leave the top layer real so you can eat it. Why buy a huge cake knowing your guest won't eat the whole thing. NOW My FSIL said my wedding would never be more perfect then hers but to ME it was all FAKE and lies and trying to show off for no reason knowing you a broke bitch. Later to find out this bitch took out a loan with her husband of 40 thousand. Everything was still a disaster and late. NOW I call that fake because it wasn't her real money. They didn't save up to pay for their wadding. They ask for a loan and the bank loan them money and NOW they are struggling paying the loan out. They are paying the bank the favor the bank did for them paying for their wedding. NOW that's fake. Showing off for no reason. I think you need to define yourself what is fake and phony.

Janice - posted on 05/04/2012

1,890

18

63

I think most women do things that change their appearance in order to feel better about themselves. I sure do! I do not leave my house with out make-up, a good bra, and my hair done (blown dry or a neat ponytail). I only think its tacky if you do too much. But really, even if I think someones personal look or something they do is tacky, if it makes them happy whatever. I think looking extremely tan is tacky and unattractive but many people enjoy it and so they are welcome to do whatever they want.



When not pregnant or nursing, I prefer to wear a push-up bra. My hubby jokingly asks who I'm trying to fool since he knows the truth and is happy. I'm just battling my own low self-esteem.



If someone wants a fake cake for show I personally think that is silly and a waste of money but whatever. Although, I would be pretty annoyed if I attended an event with a fake cake and then was not served any cake. If I see cake, I expect to eat cake god dammit!

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/04/2012

3,377

8

66

Oh, bi-weekly pedi's? I was wondering how often I should go. I was thinking maybe every 5 weeks or so but maybe that is too long. I am definitely gonna keep going. I am so happy to have found someone that is willing to touch my feet! lol Hell, I am ready to go now and I was just there on Thursday! hehehee

[deleted account]

mmmm....I can't live without my bi-weekly pedi's :)

Jodi Z, It is true that designer clothes, hair die, and make-up cost money, but EVERYTHING costs money, and I don't think the sheer act of wearing designer clothes, hair die, or make-up translates into an attempt to show off what one can afford. If it translates only as a sign of wealth, one could say that wealthy people who did not wear designer clothes, make-up, and die their hair are just as "fake" as those who do because they are portraying an image that is not an accurate depiction of their true selves. You said (I believe, and my apologies if this wasn't you) that even if you had a lot of money, you would not buy expensive clothes. Why not? I am getting the impression that society is accepting of people portraying an image of poverty, even if they do not live in poverty, but rejects the idea of people portraying an image of wealth whether they are wealthy or not, when in reality, both are equally deceptive portrayals.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/04/2012

3,377

8

66

I agree, I think it all depends on how far you go with it. I mean, when I see someone with dyed hair, I don't think "OMG, how fake are they?", or someone with paint on their nails or acrylic nails.



I also agree, that fake is more about the inner person than their exterior. An exterior can become misrepresentative but that is the person judging's own fault. Materialistic people often come across as "fake" but then again, it all depends on how far they go with it before I get an immediate impression of "fake".



When I see a fake cake, I immediatley think "Now that is a fake cake", it doesn't mean I would think the person was fake.



If I see someone with stilettos, massive makeup, stinks like a whore house from all the perfume, bleach blonde hair, fake boobs, tanned all to high heaven and on and on, yeah I DO think "OMG, how fake are they?". I also wonder who the hell they are trying to impress. They're only asking for "fake" attention, as well.



I actually went and had my very first pedicure the other day. I HAD to. My feet were like sand paper and have been since I can remember (my husband teases me all the time, well not anymore). I had been debating doing it for a while now and the other day, when I was walking through Scotia Square mall during my lunch hour, I randomly walked in to a nail shop and got pampered for 1.5 hours. It was the best experience I have ever had. I didn't walk out with anything more fake than nail polish on my toes. I did walk out with baby ass feet, though. hehehee.



My husband and I have a lot of nice things BUT we work very hard and we are not in debt. I don't think we portray anything fake with these nice things, we portray that we buy what we like because we can.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

"Well, I don't GO tanning, I use sunscreen to protect my skin, but I occasionally do get tan naturally anyways. Does that count? lol"

LOL no that does not count. Intentionally going to a tanning bed does.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

Jodi, LMAO. I'm so glad you and your husband like it too, I was hoping you guys wouldn't think I was a creeper with a weird fetish.

I like how Sal put it, it's not what you have...it's how far you take it. My acrylic nails are not a foot long, I don't wear heavy make up or funky colors...I'm not sure I own eye shadow.

Anyway, yeah I'm fake.....and?

Jodi - posted on 05/04/2012

2,694

52

168

Oh, and Jackie, I LOVE to have my husband rub my head too! We trade scalp massages...they're just awesome!

Jodi - posted on 05/04/2012

2,694

52

168

That's a good point Sal, even if make-up, nail polish etc etc is "fake" (I mean, your eyelids aren't *really* green or whatever right?), there is a point where it just looks tacky. I have no problem with make up, surgery, hair dye, nails etc etc etc, but they *are* fake, like it or not.

I forget who posted this, but here's me:

shave, ANYWHERE yeah, I shave about once or twice a year for my husband. Just don't see the point personally.

wear deodorant, lotions I have never lotioned unless my skin is dry, which is rare, I also rarely wear deodorants, hardly ever have, I dont' have a sweat problem there or a smell problem

pluck any part of your body Uck to plucking, I have caterpillars for eyebrows, and that's fine with me! I did wax them for my bf's wedding though

where lipstick, gloss, chapstick, I wear chapstick on occasion when my lips are chapped. I wear gloss on special occasions when my husband and I go out, like anniversary or V-day.

no perfume Nope, no perfume, my body wash smells awesome though! lol

makeup of any kind ever I wear make up on those same occasions I wear gloss, fancy dinner with my husband

hair dye I used to dye my hair in highschool, I havn't since then.

paint nails (even clear) My daughter painted my nails a few weeks ago, but that's as far as it goes for me. I did use clear for my wedding and for my bf's wedding

hair spray gels, curling iron In highschool I did all this, and for my wedding I got my hair done up, and for my BF's wedding, but otherwise, I don't own any of that stuff to use in the first place.

cosmetic surgery Nope.

Edited to add TANNING! Well, I don't GO tanning, I use sunscreen to protect my skin, but I occasionally do get tan naturally anyways. Does that count? lol

And, I have to disagree with the idea that doing these things isn't about portraying wealth. All of these things cost money, so yeah, if you have fake nails, brand name clothes, dyed hair, tons of make up, push up bra etc etc etc that costs money and people know it. This image is tied to success, confidence, wealth. Where as me, with my natural hair color pony tail, my run of the mill wal mart shirts that I pick off the clearance rack because I could not care less what i wear, but I can't be nude, so I have to wear something, might as well be comfy and cheap, my make-upless face etc etc, people often assume I'm unsuccessful (depending on your idea of success I guess they're right. I'm a SAHM by choice and I think I'm quite successful at it!) people are often surprised by my quiet confidence (why don't I make myself up nice? Well, because I don't feel like I have to.) and that I'm dirt poor...ok, they're right on that count, but 4 years ago, before kids when my hubby and I both had a job...we were doing QUITE well...and I was still the same.

When I put on push up bras, wear make up, or any of that, I *feel* fake. I feel unnatural. My confidence lowers, not much, but it does. I may not be a movie star glamorous, but when I'm all just me, I feel like a super model. Put on that crap, and I feel like "I'm" not good enough, that I'm trying to be something I'm not. That's just me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, do what makes you feel good about yourself, fake it up! lol But don't knock the lady who decides to get a fake cake at her wedding, you're no better than her. (generic you btw)

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

OH so I wasn't going to say this because it's super embarrassing but what the hell....I LOVE when my husband rubs my head. I don't know I put my head on his lap when we are watching TV and he rubs my head...like a dog lol SO recently my sister put these extensions in and my husband told me he won't rub my head because he feels like he's rubbing a chinese girl's hair. FIRST of all...the hair is not real you jackass, do you know how much REAL hair extensions cost? Not to mention I am against real hair extensions for anyone who hasn't lost their hair due to an illness...anyway, that's my story. Jerk

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

Thats fine my name is Little Miss and i am semi permanent will wash out in 3 weeks fake ;)

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

Also, I have very little debt. Both cars are paid off and, as I said before, my nails, hair dye and extensions are free. I buy brand name clothes...at Ross, Target, TJ Maxx, and Kohls. If you guys don't know what those stores are..they are stores with brand named clothes for less. They get them for less because there are imperfections on them. If they get a sweater with a stitch out of line they will have it. Pretty cool. Not all of my clothes are brand name, I buy what looks good.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

Even though I have a different definition of a "fake person"...I can see where you are coming from sooooo.....My name is Jackie AND I AM FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

All these things are indeed fake. They are not "natural" but they make people feel better about themselves. I say do what makes you happy. And if you cannot afford to show off but continue to, it is not MY debt. I might think you are ridiculous for going broke on these things, but if you can afford it, and you like it, go for it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

Living within your means is different than showing off for the public. If you buy expensive cars, constantly go to the salon, buy expensive brand name over the top clothing on yourself and children and you are on the verge of bankruptcy, yup...fake. You cannot afford it, you should think twice about constantly doing it. I am not talking about the once in a while "treat yourself" moments.

Indeed "fake nails" and hair extension are fake. They are not real, right? Same for boob jobs, liposuction, tummy tucks, tanning etc. Does this mean you are a bad person for doing these things? No, but it is not real. Hell, I am anticipating my much needed boob job. Is that fake??? Hell yes. Do I care? Nope. I want my jigglies firm and perky. But I will not go into debt to obtain them.

Dove - posted on 05/04/2012

5,579

0

1336

If you make cuts in other areas so that you can afford the expensive car or clothes and are not going into debt that you will never get out of and you are buying the expensive car/clothes because YOU like and want them and not strictly because you will 'look better than you really are' (for lack of better wording at the moment) then I wouldn't consider that fake either.

It's hard for me to picture because I pretty much hate 'stuff' and don't see the point in any of it. I don't think you are fake if you DO like 'nice stuff' and go ahead and buy it, but I do think you are fake if you are buying nice stuff JUST to make yourself look good or are buying a ton of 'nice stuff' that is going to end you in a lifetime of debt (whether you want the stuff or not).

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

I completely agree. If you want a no-joke car payment, that's on you. That doesn't make you fake, it just means you have good taste.

Growing up my parents both worked two jobs each and we had very nice things...in turn I learned that if you want nice things, you better work your ass off for them. My husband and I live in a nice house, small but nice, a few blocks from the ocean, we drive nice cars and we spend money on things that make us happy and our daughter happy. We are not fake, we just like to spend the money we work so very hard for.

[deleted account]

Don't worry, Jackie--I'm rather "fake" too. I wear make-up & paint my nails. I don't die my hair, but until a few years ago, I bleached my skin.

I guess the man is spending on what makes him happy, I've never specifically asked him. i only know his worth because he is J's godfather. But if spending money on things that make us happy as individuals, why would spending money on a boob job or buying an expensive car be considered "fake" if the person who bought them bought them because it made them happy? I happen to like expensive clothes--they make me happy. My clothes MAY make me look richer than I am, but that is not why I buy them (nor have I ever thought about it). I cut back in other places so that I can afford them, by driving a less expensive car, living in a smaller home, etc. Same for some people who buy expensive cars--you cannot deny they are more comfortable, so is someone a "fake" if they drive an $90,000 car and live in a one room cabin because that's all they can afford? Perhaps they enjoy the car and don't need much space....

Sherri - posted on 05/04/2012

9,593

15

387

I view the renting of the cake differently why spend money on something you have no intention of serving anyways. Since most weddings don't even serve cake anymore but pastries or other such things. It is simply tradition to have a cake to show so why spend an arm and a leg if you don't really want to eat it anyways. I have never seen a cake and thought wow they are trying to show how much money they have. I have simply looked at a cake and thought wow how pretty or ugly for some and almost always thought what a shame virtually all of that will end up in the trash since very few guests ever actually eat it anyways.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

Also, I define fake as something completely different. Fake, to me, isn't about make up or hair dye...at least not after high school. To me, fake would be welcoming a gay couple to your home for dinner and then going to a rally against gay marriage, or chatting with your friends about how you are into organic foods and healthy eating and then stopping by at McDonald's on the way home.

I'm not hurting anyone with my "fake nails", I am not creating a false exterior either...we all know I have "real" nails underneath. I liked to be dolled up for me. I don't wear much make up but when I do, I feel better. I don't consider myself fake at all. Maybe it's because of where I live, around here it's normal to be super tan (even though I'm not) and have your hair and nails done. Who cares. I'm a good person, I just like the salon pfffft

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

953

1

18

So I am WAY late in this....apparently I'm super fake compared to some of you guys. I LOVE my acrylic nails, pedicures,my extensions, and my hair dye (my sister is a hairdresser and the things I just listed are ALWAYS free and she does them for me for birthdays, every holiday and special occasions like my anniversary yesterday). I don't feel bad about it AT ALL. I don't think a fake cake at a wedding is tacky. I missed the other thread but I guess you could have a fake cake as a decoration and then cute little cup cakes to pass out? I don't see the big issue, as far as I'm concerned a wedding day is a bride and groom's day and if they want swans walking around in uggs then that's fine with me.

Dove - posted on 05/04/2012

5,579

0

1336

Is he spending his money the way HE wants to, Kelly? In that case I wouldn't call him fake. If you spend beyond your means then you are trying to live a lifestyle that you can not afford. That is fake. Spending under your means is not fake as long as you are spending what makes you comfortable to spend. He may be technically 'misrepresenting' his financial worth, but if he's buying what he wants to buy with the money he has I certainly wouldn't consider that fake.

I don't spend much. I don't have much, but even if I DID have a lot of money (anyone rich want to adopt me? lol) I still wouldn't spend it. I'm just not interested in 'stuff' enough to care.

[deleted account]

Here's another perspective...
If we consider it fake to portray a person who can buy MORE than they can afford, but is it also just as fake to buy LESS than you can afford?
We have an old man in our town--he drives an '82 chevy truck of some sort with scratches and dings all over it, wears overalls every day, and lives in a one bedroom cabin that doesn't even have central heat or air (he uses a space heater and window unit--the place is really small so it's plenty to keep him warm/cool). To see the guy, you'd think he was pretty poor right? He has over $40million dollars in the bank. So, is he "fake" because he is misrepresenting his value?

[deleted account]

I wouldn't mind buying a fake cake. As I recall I remember being in the wedding wire and I have been told it's not all fake it's tech a layer if you don't have a lot of guests then a layer is made real. As a wedding is way expensive. People try to save as much money and bargain. I myself love to look at places and compare prices.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/04/2012

2,448

17

91

I'm sorry, but my new colour looks waaaay better than my natural. Mother nature isn't always that kind. Unless you are going out in the world in your birthday suit with all body hair untamed you have done something unnatural and I would bet most people at least put some thought into their clothes as far as an image they'd like to portray and such. I don't see what's wrong with that. I don't feel fake. I feel like I got a new outfit for my head.

[deleted account]

The idea that everyone looks best in their natural hair color is an opinion. My mother has very, very dark hair, and it looks horrid on her skin--it washes her out and makes her look pasty--so she gets highlights to bring out what little color she has in her cheeks. I don't see how someone's hair color or clothes can make them look rich. Buying things you cannot afford is really no different than renting the wedding cake, right? It makes someone look "richer" but doesn't actually MAKE them richer.

In any case, I don't think I made my point very well--I was trying to say that society puts a false value on wealth, that it is wrong to assume someone's value to society is greater because they can afford to buy more (though it happens anyway), but wearing make-up, hair color, or nail polish does not project an image of someone more wealthy than they actually are.

[deleted account]

To me when people say fake I just think of hair dye or surgery. I put make up on to me that doesn't mean I'm fake. Nails I used to do my nails but with my real nails and put acrylic. It's still your nails it's not fake nails. I never dyed my hair at all. Don't intent too. I don't use a lot of make up of eye liner mascara and lipgloss. I used to wear blush and all but now I stop. I do dress myself up nice with boots because I am so used to it since I was in HS. How is that being fake.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/04/2012

3,377

8

66

Ah and if many people do things to make themselves portrayed differently, than they are a fake person. They would be with or without wearing makeup, nice clothes, vehicles, houses, etc.....

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/04/2012

3,377

8

66

I am always dressed nicely but that is because 1) I would be arrested if I went out naked 2) Since I "have" to be dressed, I dress according to my style liking and 3) I work in a business Government office and we have dress attire regulations.

I do shave my legs and wear deodorant (it is non-smelly - Clinque brand) but as far as I am concerned, fake is about doing things that hide/mask you, it does not mean if you are not fake, you are O'Natural. I would hope no one thinks wearing deodorant is fake or shaving your legs. I am not colouring my legs or changing the way they look, I am ensuring they can't be braided. ;)

I do use gel but if I didn't you would never find my face because my hair would be as huge as clown hair. I do sometimes wear eyeliner and mascara.

I do not pluck, I do not wear nail polish (except on my toes), no perfume, no lipstick of any kind and would never ever have cosmetic surgery.

So, I will say that my perception of fake is just that. Completely covering one self with fake.

However, I could careless if anyone else does it. Hey, if it makes them feel better about themselves, go for it. It just is not for me.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

Nothing looks better on your skin tone than your natural color...but many people grey prematurely. I whole heartedly disagree with you. Many people fake looking rich with the cloths they wear, their hair color and style, cars they drive, and so much more. i don't see the difference. Hell, i don't care if you want a fake wedding cake. Maybe you have a cake of your dreams that you just cannot afford, but want it as part of your wedding. So what. That is not projecting anything different the what I have mentioned above. People fake it, and live beyond their means constantly. That is a prime reasons for financial struggle "keeping up with the Jones-es"

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2012

18,870

9

2998

Nope, no troubles with me ;P I feel that I am more natural than most also, but I have no problem using beautifying techniques. Much like you, I don't care what others do.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms