Glorifying teen pregnancies?

Sarah - posted on 08/12/2009

I'm pretty sure that the UK has one of, if not the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe.

I don't think i have any 'cure' or concrete reason for it, but i would guess that it's not enough education in the consequences of having sex. ie babies and STD's.



I think kids are going to sex whether us adults like it or not (with 2 girls it scares the shit out of me! lol!) I guess i will try to tell my daughters, as my mum told me, that's it's ALWAYS best to wait as long as you can. Be SURE it's what you to do, be CERTAIN you love them and that you have their RESPECT.



And of course, have sex safely, condoms and the pill.

As much as it will make me uncomfortable to think of my daughter having sex, i'll feel a hell of a lot better knowing it's being done safely. :)

Jodi - posted on 08/12/2009

Everything I have read, heard, you name it, indicates that lack of education is more likely to lead to teen pregnancy. I think there are many parents who don't like to, or just plain don't, talk to their children about sex. It is a fact that the more educated children are about sex, the more likely they are to wait longer.

My son goes to a Catholic school (and a Boys Catholic school at that) so I am figuring any sex ed they have will be about abstinance. He is 12, and we have very open conversations about sex. I know that his education will have to come from me, as will my daughter's when her time comes. But that's ok, I'm ok with it.

Abstinance is not realistic. It is possible, but not realistic. I have had the talk with my son (the full talk, right up to showing him what a condom looks like and how it works). We have talked about the fact that even with contraception, a girl can get pregnant. So if you take the risk, it could backfire.

Efducation is definitely the key. Educating for abstinance will never work. Hormones will always dictate. Education needs to be about information, lots of it.

Stacey - posted on 08/11/2009

i dont really know considering im a teen mom myself...some have been through sexual abuse when they were young and some handle it differently as well as some who think they are inlove or even know they are...and rushing to have sex because they want to know what its like....sex ed actually teaches kids and teens about how to prevent std and hiv and even pregnancy...also most girls are not on birthcontrol and men hate to use condoms or most anyways....sometimes they dont take their birthcontrol properly....these are all possibilities....hormones in teens are running wild now a days..

JL - posted on 08/11/2009

I used to teach middle schoolers..kids between the ages 11-14. It was ridiculous how many parents did not and even refused to talk to their kids at this age about sex. Most had the opinion that they should not be having sex so why talk about it. Well yes they should not be having sex but at this age they are starting to feel hormonal and physically attracted to others and they do not fully comprehend what is going on so they need to understand sex so that they don't have it.

These kids talked about and wanted to have sex but did not even know the basics because their parents would not talk to them about it. I had these kids asking me questions and I heard them talking about having sex but the guidelines for me as a teacher was that I was not allowed to talk about sex in anyway to these kids who were to embarrassed to approach their parents because their parents refused to have an open talk with them about it. When a kid asked me questions I had to instruct them to talk to their parents even though I knew that most of them would not. The only action I was allowed to take was to direct them to a school nurse and then I could go tell the principal what was going on and they would conduct their parents and most of the time the parents would just blow it off even though I was telling them in a parent teacher conference that their 13 year old was considering having sex without knowing anything about sex.

I got a complaint one time from parent because I insisted that they talk to their daughter about sex and they told me to stay out of their business before they pushed to have me fired... well low and behold a few months later their 13 year old daughter Jenny was pregnant by her 13 year old boyfreind Mario. If they had just talked to their daughter about sex or at least allowed me too then that girl would not have been having a baby at 13. Honestly all this abstinence only crap and parental refusal to talk about sex makes me angry because I have seen firsthand how ineffective and damaging it is to teens.

Sara - posted on 08/11/2009

I think that we have an entire generation of people that are coming of age, into their teens, with a divorce rate that is sky high and are the product of single family/broken homes where the parents have not been very involved in their lives. I think the idea of the love that you get from a baby seems wonderful to a lonely kid, so does the idea that someone will love you if you have sex with them. I don't think those shows glorify teen pregnancy really, but I think their own peers do when they see so many having baby's so young. I think we need better, more comprehensive sex ed in this country and I think that kids need their parents to be more involved in their lives.

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009

Oh omg I have to say sex ed would be a good idea.



You have any idea how many phone calls I used to get....



"my boyfriend got his stuff in my belly button, can I get pregnant?"

"...in my belly button but am on the pill, can I get pregnant?"

"I swalled his stuff, can I get pregnant?"

the classic...

"its my first time, I can't get pregnant right?"



honest to god, its the friggen 90s!! This stuff is all over TV how do they not know the facts???



Most of them don't know they can get the pill without their parents knowing.



And some, not all but omg some of them were just heartbroken little girls dumped because their BFs didn't want them when they said "no" to sex so they slept with someone and got pregnant.



Some were sad and lonely and I heard way to many times 'I just want someone who will love me no matter what."



Its hard to be angry with them. Impossible when they tell you the crap their parents, boyfriend, sister, bestfriend told them and they believed it.

ME - posted on 08/11/2009

Better sex education in our schools is certainly a good first step...but teaching kids how to put on a condom is not the only answer. Honest conversations with teens about preparedness for sex and sexual relationships is enormously lacking in the US. As parents, religious leaders, role models of all sorts - we talk at kids, lecture them, and demand that they behave the way we expect instead of asking them why they feel prepared at 13, 14, 15, 16, etc. to have sex, risk std infection for the rest of their lives and possibly to become parents. Young kids (under 21) do not have the capacity to reason in the same way as adults (this is biological and hormonal, not my opinion). Making rational decisions is very difficult for them because their frontal cortex is not fully developed. Education and honesty are the only "cures" for this lack in biological ability. That said, I do think that Spears and Palin glorified teenage pregnancy, whether intentionally or not doesn't matter...girls like them are NOT typical teenage mothers, and should not be offered up as role models. Our celebrity culture should not glorify sexualized and other inappropriate decision making (drinking and driving, partying, jumping from one bed/relationship/marriage to another). It is unfortunate that they dishonestly represent "life" to our children as tho it is acceptable to behave the same way they do; but, ultimately it is the families responsibility to teach values and the schools responsibility to teach the biology/science of sex. We cannot point fingers of blame elsewhere unless we are willing to first point them at ourselves.

JL - posted on 08/11/2009

I found it interesting that in the areas where it has risen the highest these are in states that have a predominate focus on abstinence education while the areas where it is lower are located in states with a stronger focus on sex education, more support for planned parenthood, and better access to free condoms. We are less open when it comes to having a sexualized society that many European nations so I don't really think that the rise can be completely equated to the media or a change in social standards. Plus most of the time the media comparions in regard to having a sexualized society are based on studies begining in the 1950s till now as a way to measure the increase in talks about sexuality, amount of teens engaging in sex, and teen pregnancy.



As someone who is a professional historian whose main focus is in womens history during the 1950s I can tell you that in reality the amounts of sexually active teens have in comparison to the last few decades have not risen in such overwhelming numbers as many people percieve what is relevant is that at one point in time we did not openly talk about such things so since we have become more open more teens are willing to not hide their preganicies or lie about their sex lives.



Teens were having sex in the 1950s, having babies out of wedlock, and having abortions they just did not talk about or admit to because that was not what was socially accepted. During the 1960s and 1970s social ideals slowly changed and by the 1970s people became more outspoked but the conservative backlash of the 80s pushed the openess about sex back into the closet and since then we have bounced back and forth from total acceptance of sex education to a push for abstinence based education.



Needless to say overtime we have opened up and allowed for open discussion which have made us more aware of what is going on behind closed doors and in the backseats of cars. What is significant is that the more open we are about talking about sex education from parents, to teachers, to the media the statistics among teen pregnancy and STD's among teens tend to lower.



I do think that the 16 and pregnant show on MTV has actually done a great job at showing how undesirable and realistically difficult it is to have a baby. The show does not glorify or downplay the difficulties, but I do think upholding teens like Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin as examples is wrong and sets a bad example because these are two young girls with finances and assistance available to them that they average teen does not have so their experiences do make it look easy. I read an article by Bristol Palin after she had her baby and became a spokesperson for abstinence and I wanted to trade places with her. She is a teen mom but she made her life out to sound far less complicated and so easy. She talked about how her dad watches the baby while she goes to the tanning bed and the gym....yeah that sounds like such a hard life..I mean Geez I don't have the time or money to go the tanning bed or the gym and I am 31 year old mom of 2 who planned her pregnancies.



My parents openly talked about sex education with me and told me they wanted me to wait but they were not delusional so if I was going to have sex they told me come to them so they could make sure I had what I needed to protect myself. I did this and went on birth control when I was starting to think about sex but I did not have sex until a year after I got on birth control. Parents also need to start being more responsible and stop deluting themselves with the thought that just saying don't have sex and not arming their kids with education is going to somehow prevent them from having sex before marriage and getting pregnant.



I have two kids a girl and a boy and I am an advocate for making condoms available in highschools.

Alison - posted on 08/11/2009

I hate to say this and I expect some will be offended, but the benefits/welfare state is the reason. Yes I know not all teens get pregnant on purpose and I know not all of them collect handouts, but can anyone honestly say that a workfree meal ticket and housing that would usually be out of their price range is not a factor? Only if they have lived their whole life in a PC bubble.



We have more adice about family planning than ever so it has nothing to do with education. People need to move on from all that and be realistic. They were handing out all that condoms at school when I was a kid. It achieved nothing.

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2009

Here is an informative piece that is relevant to this topic.

Condoms in High school

Most of us don’t expect our children to have children when they are in high school, but the sad truth is that this does happen. It not only happens, but it happens in hundreds of families in Vermont every year. When we look at the amount of teens that use condoms this number is not startling. A mere 58.4% of teen girls claimed to have used a condom during their last sexual encounter compared to 67.1% of males. For this reason condoms should be available in high schools. [i]
Making condoms available in high schools would make two of societies goals attainable. There would be a decrease in teen pregnancy and disease, and states would spend less of our tax dollars on supporting unwanted and unplanned teen pregnancies and abortions. Previously in 2005, 970 teens in Vermont became pregnant. 463 of these pregnancies ended in a live birth. These teen pregnancies cost the state of Vermont an estimated 12 million dollars in 2004. [i]
Not only are there negative consequences for teens and families who experience teen pregnancy, there are also negative consequences for the children born to these teens. According to the national campaign “…their children are more likely to be born at low birth weight, grow up poor, live in single-parent households, experience abuse and neglect, and enter the child welfare system. Daughters of teen mothers are more likely to become teen parents themselves and sons of teen mothers are more likely to be incarcerated “ [ii] Condoms should be distributed in high schools to protect teens, their families and the unborn.
Vermont schools teach sex education. So shouldn’t we be allowing teen’s access to the tools we teach about? We would be promoting kids to have safe sex. Those who oppose distributing condoms in school often site that schools should be promoting abstinence to prevent pregnancies. The truth is that 66% of 18-year-old males and 68% of 18-year-old females have had sex. [i] Teens are having sex now and will continue to have sex. Shouldn’t we give them more of an opportunity to make it safe sex? Many opponents of condom distribution in high schools also site the cost of this endeavor as a reason not to make condoms available in schools. A price can’t be put on making teen sex safe. As I have previously stated 12 million dollars is spent annually on teen pregnancies. Funding condom distribution would lessen this cost by prevent a large portion of these pregnancies. [ii]
By making condoms available to high school students we would be offering teens the tools we teach about. We would be lowering the rates of teen pregnancy and disease, saving hundreds of infants from the harsh reality of having teen parents. Overall, lowering the cost that teen pregnancy places on the state of Vermont.

[i] (February 1, 2007). Vermont Demographic Data. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Retrieved July 17, 2009: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/state...

[ii] ( November 2006). By The Numbers. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Retrieved July 17, 2009: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/costs...

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009

UGh don't even get me started.



I don't think pregnancy ever dropped out here. For the teens here pregnancy is a "rebellious" thing and a status maker. And its bullshit.



argh I gotta run hopefully i can pick this up later...

Kate CP - posted on 08/11/2009

I think the teen pregnancy rate is rising because people won't teach kids how to put on a friggin' condom. Abstinence only is great in theory...but in reality it just doesn't work. If kids are given the right tools to practice safe sex they'll use them. Just telling them "Well, nothing is fool proof so don't have sex at all" doesn't work. All they hear is "Nothing is fool proof...so don't bother." In the areas where condoms are available in dispensers in high schools the pregnancy rate is dramatically lower than the areas that teach abstinence only.