Hair

Veronica - posted on 07/02/2011 ( 51 moms have responded )

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My sister is getting married next month, and she is having my four year old stand up as the miniature bride --

however, she wants me to have extentions put in my daughters hair (which is choppy and short and thin) --- Im not happy about this at all - I think first of all, she is FOUR! secondly, im not about to blow money on something that will most likely get ripped out by the dinner/reception -- i told my sister i would get one of those pony-tail holders that have the fake hair on them - put her hair up with that, and curl what i can around it -- she now wants to take my daughter to have a hairstylist play around with it to see what they can do.

Am I being a pain in the ass --- or do you think this is ridiculous too?? I just wonder who the hell is going to care how fancy my daughters hair is -- they all know kids and their hair/clothes arent going to be perfection.

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[deleted account]

As a licensed cosmetologist..theres no way I would put extensions in a four yr olds hair. First if they are glued in which I hope to hell not. There could be an allergic reaction and hairloss. Second if they are braided in, unless ur daughter has sat through cornrows or braids, she is not going to be happy. And if you clip them in, they will be pulled by the time the wedding starts. This may be her wedding but its your child. Any child that I have done a wedding style on has been simple loose curls adorned with crystal or pearl barretts.. You can even put some babysbreath fresh flowers in. fancy hair style for a four year old will look like a hott mess by the time the wedding starts ;)

Sal - posted on 07/04/2011

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she's four, and no your not the pain in the ass, we had this discussion last week, if you want picture perfect kids, hire them, if you want your love ones have them warts and all as they say...

LadyJane - posted on 07/05/2011

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I've never heard of a "mini bride" by name before but I think I know what their position would be. I went to a wedding where they had a flower girl with petals come in first to toss the petals from a basket. Then the bridesmaids/groomsmen, then the ring bearers a boy and a girl each carrying rings. The boy was dressed as the groom, girl as the bride. Boy carrying ring for bride and vice versa, then the bride would be behind them. They didn't call the girl a mini bride but they did dress her up as such, including a veil. In this case the girl was 3, boy was 6. Not sure if that is what they mean by 'mini-bride' but it's the closet I'm able to come up with based on weddings I've gone to. The girls hair styled like the brides and just put in ringlets above her head. Extensions weren't even around then.

[deleted account]

oh also i dont even kno what a mini bride is i thought that was another name for a flower girl haha can some one explain?

[deleted account]

I think it's ridiculous and IMO, your sister is sending an indirect message that her niece is not good enough AS IS to stand beside her as a miniture bride. (Which, IMO is THE most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!) I am sure your 4 year old is simply darling just the way she is. Some cute bows, or even fresh flowers clipped into her hair gives her the beautiful, all-natural little girl innocent look. Why bother with even the most basic of clip-on hair extensions? She's 4! Let he rlook like herself! Shame on your sister for trying to "improve" your daughter's looks! As the mother, you need to stand your ground in the way YOU want your daughter to look. This is not up to your sister to make that kind of parenting decision. Please update us with the outcome.

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Stifler's - posted on 07/05/2011

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Getting their hair done at the hairdresser is fun for kids. I remember getting mine done and I wasn't even the flower girl at my Aunty's wedding. My nieces got theirs done for our wedding and they weren't even flower girls. They didn't get extensions and crap just curls and flowers put in.

Veronica - posted on 07/05/2011

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Im not a rude person or a bitch to my sister/fam/friends -- I understand compromise -- Im just not interested, nor do i see the point of doing all kinds of crap to my daughters perfectly fine/normal hair -- especially paying out the money for it to be done, on top of traveling to get to the salon for it ---- i think we can do a good enough job - and i think my sister has more to stress over, than my daughters hair. But this weekend we are going to try out some hair styles =- my sister in law will be up with her daughter that is also standing up in the wedding and we are going to play with their hair and see what we come up with -- if we still dont 'make the cut' then obviously we will have to tgo to a stylist -- but i still wont do extensions regardless.

[deleted account]

I dont think its that big of a deal but then again i am a stylist so i love things like that haha. they have different options they have glue on, sewn in, and clip ons. For a four year i definitely wouldnt do anything other then the clips in ones. they are just weave on a clip and you snap them in all over your hair like barrets. its her wedding day im sure she just wants everything to be above and beyond and perfect. she probably thinks it would look so cute and might want to take pics. Its all about compromise obviously dont do anything to your daughter that you dont agree with just dont be mean or rude about t when approaching your sister im sure she is super stressed out just let her know where you stand :)

[deleted account]

I dont think its that big of a deal but then again i am a stylist so i love things like that haha. they have different options they have glue on, sewn in, and clip ons. For a four year i definitely wouldnt do anything other then the clips in ones. they are just weave on a clip and you snap them in all over your hair like barrets. its her wedding day im sure she just wants everything to be above and beyond and perfect. she probably thinks it would look so cute and might want to take pics. Its all about compromise obviously dont do anything to your daughter that you dont agree with just dont be mean or rude about t when approaching your sister im sure she is super stressed out just let her know where you stand :)

Krista - posted on 07/04/2011

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Extensions for a four-year-old? That's regoddamndiculous. She's a little girl, and extensions will very likely be painful for her. Sure, put in some cute flowers or barrettes and dress her hair up, but she's a little child -- let her look like one.

Kiara - posted on 07/04/2011

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There is a such thing as a miniture bride n they r very beautiful.Watch bridal showings ladies e.x.say yes to d dress.Also I wld go with d clipin extensions also(she pays though she wnts it nt u).The extensions wnt do nething to her scalp.

Veronica - posted on 07/04/2011

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The miniature bride is something that is done around here -- i dont get it either - i think its ridiculous -- i had two flower girls and a ring-bearer for my wedding and that was enough -- anyhow -- i really dont mind if she has a salonist play around with my daughters hair -- the issue is that my mom and I can do just as good of a job - and the stylists price for the wedding day is 25 to 30 dollars to do a 'do' on my child -- id rather me and my mom do the hair for zero dollars. my sister is going overboard -- as for the ponytail idea -- it would look like an updo -- has anyone seen those ponytail holders that have the fake hair on them? you can get them in different colors - and styles -- they have blonde ones that are curly - so i would put that in for the curly affect - and then just put the tiara in, with maybe some more curls in her bangs or something along that line.
I think the extenstions idea is bull- and im not spending money on a hairdo for a child - that WILL fall out -- (P.S. My daughter ALSO sucks her thumb and twirls her hair - she will def. be having her hair pulled out)
Yesterday i put her hair in a cute pigtail look - she wore it for maybe 1/2 hr. - then it was all pulled out --- my sister will be lucky if my daughter keeps it in the whole ceremony!!!

I will let you all know how it turns out -- i already told my sister what i was doing with it -=- that we will do a trial run on it and see how it looks -- hopefully my sister will be satisfied with that!
I'll let you all know how it turns out -- im glad im not the only one who thought it to be ridiculous! I also dont want to threaten taking her out of the wedding - the dress and shoes for my daughter have already been bought -- there just needs to be a compromise for the hair is all.

Xandria - posted on 07/04/2011

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Then don't let her be in the wedding. If it is that big of an issue then tell her no. That simple. I'm not saying that you should put extensions in her but your going to pretty much dress your daughter up and then stick stick a pony tail in her hair. That sounds kind of silly. It also sounds like your sister was trying to find a way to include your daughter in her wedding if she already has two flower girls and did something special for her. Here's my suggestion, put the dress on your daughter stick a pony tail in her hair and see how it looks. If you honestly think that this is an acceptable look then take a picture of you daughter and show it to her. If she doesn't like it then take her out of the wedding. That's kind of like putting her on sneakers with the dress. Yes it's more simple for her since she is a four year old but is it really appropriate?

Gina - posted on 07/04/2011

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Nichole , I like your idea, she deserves to get freaked out! Hair extensions for a FOUR year old,shit.I'd tell my sister that a stylist can play around with my girls hair,[my daughter would love that] but n hair extensions, no make up, just my daughter looking beautiful and enjoying her aunts wedding.Why is that so hard?

[deleted account]

No i would be they same..i am getting hitched in 2013 on the 4th of July.My daughters will be my flower girls, there going to be as natural as possible..to me thats so beautiful.They have matching vintage dresses and a tiara(very petite one) there hair is naturally wavy.So putting it up to the side with a fresh flower.They will not be mini mes..it will take 10-15 mins to dress them up..including hair and flower&tiara(there choice the tiara lol)Hair extensions a no no and make -up.Yes it has been done.I would not allow any one to do this to my girls.I have seen brides get them and they have been done very bad.Make sure if there being done, that there done professional and well.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 07/03/2011

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Too bad she's 4....... I'd be tempted to dye it pink (maybe kool-aid?) the day of the stupid rehersal wedding and show up and freak her out......... I love my evil thoughts........ :)

Vegemite - posted on 07/03/2011

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Are you in USA? Seems that's just the way it is there. Here in Australia you pay for your own stuff unless someone offers then it's a gift. We are simple folk. haha

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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I didn't think it was nice to make them pay but Desrae reckons everyone does it now. The boys paid for their suits and my bridesmaids bought dresses and shoes they could wear again and paid for their hair and make up.

Vegemite - posted on 07/03/2011

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What! My husband and I paid for most things. Except half the reception and half the honey moon expenses which were a gift from my Dad. My inlaws also gave us some money to spend as we wanted for a gift. Our wedding party paid for nothing.

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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Ohh no I always thought the bride and groom/bride's parents paid for everything in the wedding until I got married and one of my bridesmaids clued me in that the bridesmaids and parents of the flower girls pay for everything (except bouquets and jewelry) including hair and make up trials these days and their own shoes and dress. I was like :O

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/03/2011

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I have never heard of a little girl being a "mini bride" in a wedding....why isn't she just being a pretty little flower girl?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/03/2011

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Hmmmmm....this is kind of a weird request from your sister, and it should be your choice. Hair extentions can hurt and your daughter is only 4 years old. I would just tell her that all eyes are gonna be on the bride, and not how thick or long your daughters hair is.

I don't think having the hairstylist seeing what she can do for a style is bad....but putting hair extensions in a 4 year old is a bit of a bridezilla move IMO. I think the fake hair idea you had is JUUUUUUUSSSSTTTTTT FINE! Totally ridiculous, and no you are not being difficult. Does she want your daughter to wear a water bra to fill out the dress better? Give me a break.

Vegemite - posted on 07/03/2011

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I agree. Extensions, no. Salon, what's the harm for a special occasion? She'll probably have a lot of fun.

[deleted account]

I wouldn't allow the extensions but I would let your sister take her to the salon to see what styles they could do (without cutting or extensions).

At my wedding we just plaited the girls hair and placed red and white flowers throughout the plait, we tied the plait with red ribbon - the girls looked fab (my flower girls were 5, 6, 8 and 10) - the five and six year olds hairs lasted for the ceremony and the photos but was getting messier by wedding breakfast and by the end of the wedding breakfast their hair had gone to pot completly. So I do think anything too fancy would be a mistake anyway.

Amanda - posted on 07/03/2011

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I agree with you Veronica. I would NoT have extensions put in my four year old's hair either. I think it is a waste of money and it would be pulled out by the reception...I know when i fix my little girls hair that the hair bow doesn't stay in for a long time or her hair is flying everywhere lol. Your daughter is four... she shouldn't be bothered by her hair.

[deleted account]

I agree, if the sister is paying and she keeps it to reasonable, comfortable and non permanent style then play along.

Dana - posted on 07/03/2011

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Ah, Cathy, for some reason I assumed since her sister is going forward with taking her to the salon (to play around with it), that she'd be paying for it.



And in my first post, I said that for me, it would depend on what kind of extensions. I would not go for "true" extensions.



So, if she were to pay for the hair style, and I approved of what they were doing, I would have no problem. I would be open minded and go to the appointment and try to compromise with my sister for her big day.

Isobel - posted on 07/03/2011

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The only time I've heard of a mini-bride was on "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" ...Is your sister marrying an Irish traveller?

Anyhoo...I say so long as she's paying and she agrees not to put in anything that'll either hurt your daughter or damage her hair permanently...leave her be. Who cares.

Rosie - posted on 07/03/2011

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i wouldn't do extensions either. as a matter of fact i think it's rather pissy of your sister to insist on this anyway. what's wrong with your daughters hair, and working with what the kid has?? it's ridiculous to me, the thought wouldn't even cross my mind.

[deleted account]

Dana - I think the real issue is with exactly what type of extensions her sister wants and who will be paying for them.

The hair still needs to be age appropriate.

Dana - posted on 07/03/2011

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Not all hair extensions are right along the scalp though. I actually doubt a salon would put regular hair extensions in a 4 yr old. They would probably put in the clip on hair which would be the same as a clip on pony tail. They'd just make it look better I imagine.

Firebird - posted on 07/03/2011

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If she wants to take your daughter to a salon to see what they can do with her hair, I'd let her go. And I'd also go along to make sure it's perfectly understood that extensions are not an option.

Tara - posted on 07/03/2011

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No you're not being ridiculous.
A 4 year old could walk down the aisle with pig tails bouncing around and that would be cuter than a 4 year old with fake hair!
I would say no and just do what you were planning to do.
It is her big day but is your child's hair and scalp that will suffer, plus if she expects you to pay: your pocket book will also suffer.

Dana - posted on 07/03/2011

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I've never heard of a miniature bride. That being said, if my sister wanted my daughter ( I don't actually have one ;) to go get her hair done and they suggested extensions once she was there I wouldn't have issue with that, depending on how they were added. As far as taking her to the salon to mess around and see what they can come up with, I'd have no problem with that either.

I'm coming to that conclusion thinking that a young girl would most likely enjoy being in the wedding and getting "done up" if she's going to be kicking and screaming then I'd tell my sister no.

Corinne - posted on 07/03/2011

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That's just crazy! When I got married, my daughter was a bridesmaid. She had a thing for twisting her hair when she sucked her thumb, so all the hair on one side was a hell of a lot shorter than the other. I cut all her hair short, bought a sparkly headband and that was it. Christ! I even got my Mum to make her dress slightly big so she wouldn't be uncomfortable all day. Stick to your guns. :)

Katherine - posted on 07/03/2011

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No, that IS ridiculous! Extentions pull hair out and cause a lot of damage. Not to mention she is only 4.
I think your idea of the clip is a good one. It won't ruin her hair and it won't be costly.

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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Clip in extensions are okay and not that expensive, but I'd still make her pay since I think it's a bit rude and unreasonable to ask someone to get fake hair just for one day.

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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Tell her to pay for it if she wants the extensions done. If not, I wouldn't be getting it done, they're pretty exxy.

Desiree - posted on 07/03/2011

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Nope you can seriously damage your daughters hair if you start fiddling with things like that so early. most of your daughters hair is still what we call baby hair and very young. not only that the shafts of the hair is also very young. I wouldn't

Erin - posted on 07/03/2011

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Your sister is being a Bridezilla. I think it's reasonable that she be allowed to choose your daughter's hair accessories. But in my mind, that means which bow, clip or headband, not friggin hair extensions!!! No way would I a) pay for that, or b) allow that crap to go in my daughter's hair.

[deleted account]

Extensions are really bad for an adults hair and scalp. No I wouldn't allow it. I think the suggestion of a ponytail holder with some fake hair on is more than adequate for a child of 4.
If your sister wants to pay for extensions the I'd recommend the type which just clip in, although I still think they'd annoy the hell out of a little girl , but it won't leave any lasting damage.

Becky - posted on 07/02/2011

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Yeah, that's nuts! My niece was our flower girl and the only thing we did with her hair was put barrettes in it! Mind you, she also was only 2. Anyway, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all not wanting to go to such great lengths (no pun intended ;) on her hair for your sister's wedding.

Lady Heather - posted on 07/02/2011

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That's effing crazy and I wouldn't do it. Nobody gives a crap about a kid's hair at a wedding. She's lucky she doesn't have to deal with my kid's hair. It would be all over the place.

Also, you should NOT have to pay for any of this experimentation with the hairdresser. I sure hope to hell she wasn't expecting you to pay for extensions for her wedding. It's one thing for the bridal party to cover an updo. Extensions are a little more...extensive. Frankly, I paid for my underage bridal party member because I thought it was unfair for her parents to cover her taking part in my day.

[deleted account]

Your sister is nuts. Take her (your daughter) as is or buzz off.

Sorry, that's not very nice.... ;)

Kate CP - posted on 07/02/2011

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I've never heard of that. I've only ever heard of bridesmaids and flower girls. That's stupid. :P

Yea, I think some cute curls and a bow would be adorable. Your sister needs to lighten up. Yea, it's her special day but she doesn't need to make it miserable for everyone else.

Veronica - posted on 07/02/2011

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where they dress a little girl up similar to the bride - and have her walk with the little boy (carrying the rings) -- i dont get it either -- she has two flower girls also -- she isnt having an issue with anyone else's hair - and my neice has shorter hair than my daughter - and just as stubborn to do anything with (she is also four)

Kate CP - posted on 07/02/2011

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No, this is damned ridiculous. Your daughter doesn't need to be made up to be cute. What the hell is a miniature bride, anyway??

Veronica - posted on 07/02/2011

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Im not trying to be disrespectful to my sister and her big day -- but she has more things to worry about, than how my daughters hair is going to be -- im not going to send her looking sloppy or anything - its still going to be curled and something nice done to it -- i just think its ridiculous to have to go to this extent....

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