Joy - posted on 03/04/2011 ( 32 moms have responded )
Ok, so I’m one of those Mommas who doesn’t worry about my 3 year old son having his hair cut a "certain way" or on a regular basis. Let it grow, I say. He’s got his whole life to worry about his hair, I say. He’s still my little baby, I say. I don’t know if you can really see from my profile pic, but my son’s hair is (was, until this morning) long, for a boy, according to…..everyone around me except for myself and my husband. I get it all the time from my MIL, comments like, “You need to cut his hair! He’s a BOY!” I’ve also perfected the art of replying to strangers in public who call my HE a SHE. It happens on a fairly regular basis.
Old lady in the checkout at the grocery store: Oh, isn’t she just the cutest thing???
Me: Thank you! We think HE’S pretty cute too!
This is usually followed by something like, “Oh, sorry, HE.” (Guess the Thomas shirt and the cowboy boots and the skull and cross-bone jacket didn’t give it away…save that one for later…I’ll get back to that, I promise)
For me, I think part of it has to do with the fact that I’m from Florida, but living in upstate NY. In Florida, for the most part, when it comes to boys and long hair, there really isn’t an issue. Maybe it’s the “surfer” lifestyle or whatever, considering that in Florida, one doesn’t ever have to drive too far to be at the beach. Or maybe it’s that Jacob was only 2 when we left Florida, so no one “expected” us to have taken him for a hair cut yet. I don’t know. I just know that from the moment we got up here, it’s become a serious sore spot with me, whenever someone (especially someone I know) makes a comment about how long Jacob’s hair is and how he needs a “good trip to the barber shop”. You know what this does to me? It makes me want to dig my heels in and say “NO! There will be NO haircuts for him PERIOD until he’s TEN!!! NO SOUP FOR YOU!” (sorry, I had to toss in the Seinfield reference because in my mind, it was funny lol) Of course, that doesn’t work. Lately, I’ve been doing the “Mom cut” on his bangs. I try and keep his bangs from annoying him. Whenever I see him brushing his hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand, I trim his bangs. But pretty much, the rest is just left to grow. Until today. Today, he was trying to eat his breakfast (scrambled eggs and peanut butter toast). He went to brush the hair from his eyes while holding a piece of the toast and I ended up basically having to wash his hair in the bathroom sink to get the peanut butter out. Since I could no longer trim his bangs and leave the back and sides alone without leaving my son looking like a small, blonde Billy Ray Cyrus circa 1988, I decided to take him to the barber shop for some help. I say I’m cool with any hair style, but in my heart, I want NO MULLETS in my home lol! Seriously, that’s LOL because if Jacob truly wanted one, I’d let him have one. (I’d also let him have a high and tight like Daddy if he wanted one of those.) But I’m a rebel and this is me: If Jacob wanted it and I could get away with it (like if it wasn’t against school regulations), my kid would start kindergarten with a spikey blue (or pink or purple or green) do…if that’s what HE wanted. I’ve always just looked at it like 1) IT’S JUST HAIR. 2) IT’S HIS HAIR . Whatever he wants to do with it is his choice. I’d never use permanent dye on his hair while he’s still so young, so no one get your panties in a wad about that. But we look at pictures of people all the time, in magazines and books and on the computer. And one day he saw a guy with a big, spikey, blue Mohawk and said “COOL MOMMY COOL!” My heart almost burst with pride. So now you see how I feel about his hair? It’s mine for now, curls and all, and only to be turned over to HIM. HIS HAIR. And really, aren’t there far more important things to worry about with my son? Like whether he’ll get good grades or not fight on the bus or what activities make him thrive? Does hair affect any of that? No. But because I needed help with him not looking like someone who had no skill with cutting hair (me) was cutting his hair, I took him to the barber shop my husband goes to. The woman who cut his hair actually asked me if this was his first haircut. It wasn’t. She did a good job. She kept talking about how “OHhhhhh it’s soooo long! How old is he? Are you SURE this isn’t his first haircut???” Really lady? I’m his Mom. I think I’m pretty sure I might possibly know that, from the time he grew IN me and spilled forth from my loins until now, this isn’t his first haircut. I let her take off a little over half an inch all over and it looks good. I like it. He likes it. Daddy likes it. Grandma saw it and I asked her how she like his hair cut and she said, “What haircut?”
Head / desk.
1) So, now that you’ve patiently listened to me rant (thank you by the way), how do YOU feel about how boys “should” have their hair cut?
2) Do you keep your boys in short hair or do you let it be?
3) Is having a certain hair style for your boy a requirement in your house (like, it has to be above the shoulders or something like that) or do you just make sure your boy’s hair is clean and let them decide how they want it cut?
4) Why? As in, what influences you to keep your boy’s hair however you keep it?
5) Why do you think it's ok for a girl to have long OR short hair but for the most part, boys are expected to keep their hair short? (Kinda like why does it matter if a boy or a girl wears a Thomas shirt with cowboy boots and a skull and crossbone sweater.....See? I promised I would get back to that)
Thanks for the input!
I’m gonna keep keeping my son’s hair however I want it until he tells me how HE wants it.