Has anyone else's relationship actually gotten better after any type of infedelity?

Courtney - posted on 08/22/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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A few weeks ago I found messages between my fiance and another woman on his facebook. It was only that one (I searched his phone, email and work computer) and it never went farther than flirting and talk of what could have been if he had taked his chance with her in the past. I broke off our engagement and told him he had to earn back my trust. Well, in the time since I have seen changes in him I didn't even expect from this. It's like we just started dating again! He is always kind, considerate and sweet. He helps around the house and with the kids (girls, 1 and 2) and makes sure I get "me" time. Above all else, our sex life has blossomed into something even more passionate and raw than it has ever been, and we've always had a pretty hot sex life. We both want it everyday, and we even started "sexting" while he's at work-I always felt kind-of silly doing it but have found that it really gets him going for later! So, I guess my point is that in some strange way, I think what he did was actually good for our relationship because it made us look closely at what we have and appreciate it. Any other women out there go through the same thing and feel the same way as I do?

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Melissa - posted on 08/26/2011

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I went through the same thing with my hubby.....during counseling to bout where he was professing his love for me...then he had inappropriate flirting with another girl in our friends circle. That embarrassed me the most. Anyway I held on to fear and resenment for a long time but I do think somewhere along the lines our sex life was spiced up because of it all and I do trust him now after we had a child....however our marriage is still not good and trust issues in other ways are causing issues.
So I don't think it is the end if it happens but if you are not able to get over the resentment and he doesn't really change than its very damaging to a marriage.

Jenna - posted on 08/26/2011

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Guilt makes people nicer for a little while.. not so sure I wouldn't ever think it would never happen again but who am I to say. I do not know either of you so, go with it!

Stifler's - posted on 08/22/2011

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I think I would always be on the lookout for a relapse in cheating behaviour and that itself would ruin our marriage.

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a close frined of mine literally caught her husband and his tramp in the act. But, they worked really hard through church and counseling to get their marriage back. This was close to 7 years ago now, and they have remained a stronger couple after the infidelity on his part.

Elfrieda - posted on 08/22/2011

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Maybe your reaction made him respect you more and see you in a different way. I'm glad it's working out so well for you both!

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