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'He's fine!'

Laura Zoey - posted on 06/17/2011 ( 53 moms have responded )

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Straying off of the 'ignore it' thread, my personal favorite unwelcome advise is the people who always tell me, oh he's fine, when Eric gets hurt.
Why does everyone think it's good to try to down play a child who got hurt?
I mean I understand sometimes he isn't really hurt bad, but he could be scared, startled, embarrassed, etc and if he's crying he is NOT 'fine'!
I always ignore those comments and attend to him. Now it's not like I go over all hysterical and coddle the heck out of him, if I can tell he isn't really injured I'll just give him a hug and ask what's wrong, what happened etc.
I want him to know his feels matter!
And just because he's a boy he does not have to be tough and not cry.
Seriously he's a toddler, he's allowed to cry!

Do you think it's emotionally damaging to acknowledge your child when they cry even if they aren't seriously hurt? Or is it more damaging to downplay their tears and tell them to toughen up.

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Shannintipton - posted on 06/17/2011

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I can usually tell by the cry. If it is a blood curdling scream, it is usually serious. Just a regular cry, it usually not serious. The fake cry, I don't even bother hardly to get up. I always check it out but depending on the cry will dictate my urgency level.

Laura Zoey - posted on 06/17/2011

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169

Exactly, I agree! I don't over react, but I won't just ignore it and holler over to him 'you're fine!'

Sara - posted on 06/17/2011

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I always ask my girls what happened. And if they aren't really hurt I ask them if they're going to be ok. If they say yes, then I tell them they can stop crying and go play again. In my experience it needs to be addressed but if you play it up too much they will over react to the slightest thing. My girls know they can tell me about their owies and we'll figure out if they're really hurt and need more than just kisses or if kisses are just fine.

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