Homeschooling/Unschooling

Mother - posted on 02/28/2012 ( 283 moms have responded )

1,627

79

28

We've been homeschooling for about 4 years now. We love it. Does anyone else do this?? What are your opinions of unschooling?? Do any of you unschool??

This conversation has been closed to further comments

283 Comments

View replies by

Kate CP - posted on 03/04/2012

8,942

36

754

Unfortunately, yes, Montessori can get pricey. There are more and more charter schools opening up around the US, though. Some are good...some...not so much. To find a truly great Montessori school means taking a lot of time to research and observe classes and interrogate the director. ;)

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

Where is that damn LOVVVVVVVE button?!?!?!?!



Couldn't agree more. Not to mention if the public school already sucks, the hope that they have an IEP set in place is next to 'not a hope in hell'.

Kate CP - posted on 03/04/2012

8,942

36

754

Little Miss, you just said what I said! That good schools are hard to find. Charter schools shouldn't be the exception but the standard for good public schooling. But they're not...and it's really hard to get into a charter school. You shouldn't have to worry about moving to an area with bad schools. ALL areas should have GREAT schools...but they don't. That's my point. The system is broken and it's failing our kids. And we make do with the few that thrive because we hope that OUR kids will get in. We shouldn't have to base our children's needs and education on hope and charter schools. Great education should be the norm, not the exception.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Also, the town that we had planned on moving to, my home town, has in incredible public school system. In my class alone, we had 3 students attend Harvard, MANY MIT, Brown, and other Ivy league schools. Those are just to name a few. Public school did I say? yup.



Edited to add* but I did have horrible teachers, and teachers that touched my life on a personal level.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Kate, i agree with a lot of what you said, but not this part "It means every kid is different and their needs should be met. And the current public school system simply cannot offer that. "



MANY public schools are indeed equipt to handle one on one indivicual needs of students. I happen to live in not that area. Before we moved, I certainly did. In fact, any town that we would have moved to that we were interested in living in, did have a wonderful public school. I think a lot of what depends on how good your public school system is, unfortunately depends on income level for that particular area. I unfortunately moved to a low income area, being middle class. The public schools here are terrible. If my child would have had to attend, and the charter school that he is in now never would have opened up or he did not get chosen, he would have been in a private school. I would never homeschool.

Merry - posted on 03/04/2012

9,274

169

248

I ♥ u Kate. Lol you always have the right words.

I'm glad I'm not the not one seeing a huge problem with public schools here in USA.

I hope Montessori schools become more popular and common cuz they sound great.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

OH, too young for that phase then LOLOLOL What makes you think she is lonely??

Kate CP - posted on 03/04/2012

8,942

36

754

"--I'm curious, how old are these girls?? Only asking because when kids become a certain age they get doom and gloomy. So many are so unhappy...or so it appears. I don't know what it is....growing pains....hormones...trying to figure out who they are?? How knows. It happens so suddenly and can only be chalked up to 'a phase'. IT doesn't happen in just homeschooled kids but public schooled kids as well. Usually at the same time they suddenly believe.......their parents know NOTHING. LOL"



Her eldest is almost 7 and her youngest is about 16 months.

Jenni - posted on 03/04/2012

5,928

34

373

I imagine there are definitely some parents who throw their kids in the public school system and then wipe their hands clean as far as their child's education is concerned. I don't think that is the norm however. But something tells me that those are the same parents who wouldn't even come close to being qualified, involved or dedicated enough to home school.



I think Johnny mentioned earlier there are tons of different formal educational institutes that will fit the needs of the family and child.



My son will be attending a french immersion public school. Classes are limited to 20 students in a JK/SK integrated class. Part time only for JK/SK. 3 teachers per class. And class sizes decrease through years 1-8. It is a school that the child's success highly depends on parental involvement in education. Parents are made aware of this upon enrolling their child. The beginning years focus on child-led education.



I absolutely do not believe in throwing your child in a public school setting and allowing the child's education to solely rest on the shoulder's of their teachers. IMO, a child's education is a community effort.

Kate CP - posted on 03/04/2012

8,942

36

754

Okay, you're BOTH right but you're not saying it the right way.



Some kids NEED one-on-one teaching and the current school system is just NOT equipped to provide it. That doesn't mean some kids NEED home schooling or NEED public schooling. It means every kid is different and their needs should be met. And the current public school system simply cannot offer that.



Are there good, even GREAT, public schools? Yes, but they are few and far between. It should be the reverse: where the horrible ones that are simply day care facilities are the ones that are hard to find.



Our country's educational system is in the toilet and we content ourselves with the knowledge that there's still a few diamonds in the rough. I find that shameful. :/

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

I had some truly horrible teachers. Did I need to be homeschooled because of them? Hell no. I would have hated that. I had more brilliant teachers that cared a lot opposed to the shitty ones. And man, i could tell you stories of how bad they were, and mean. But I could also tell you about one teacher that sacrificed himself and put himself on the line for me.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

And, many times it is the parents fault tht children fall through the cracks at public school. If they see the child not doing well, it needs to be addressed one way or another. Helping with homework, getting tutors, and pursuing a personal relationship with the teachers of said student. Some kids fall through the cracks due to learning disabilities, or being to advanced and being bored. Some fall through the cracks due to medical issues that are not diagnosed in a timely manner. Hell, some kids fall through the cracks because they need glasses and cannot see the board. There are many reason that children fall through the cracks. It is not the best to be quick to simply judge the teachers in a good public school. And yes, sometimes it is the teacher that does not take a personal interest in the students and see that some students need one on one time.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Many public schools are absolutely awesome, with incredible teachers much more qualified than a parent simply down loading teaching literature on line or at the library. See, they actually go to school and learn how to teach children. Qualified.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"Of COURSE you are judging. And who is to say what is right or wrong per child? You? Are you going to be the one to check on every child "

--The judgments go both ways whether you like it or not. Someone brought up a point and I countered it.



"YOU ARE passing judgement. Not all kids need homeschooling."

--And...you guys ARE passing judgment. Not all kids NEED public schooling.



"That is the parents personal choice when they pull their kids out of school and take their complete education into their own hands...qualified or not."

--And it is the parents personal choice when they send their kid to public school when it might not be 'in the best interest of the child'.....leaving the teacher to deal with the issues the parents should be. Qualified or not. That's how many kids 'fall between the cracks'

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Of COURSE you are judging. And who is to say what is right or wrong per child? You? Are you going to be the one to check on every child and so "Nope that child is not doing well in school because he/she needs to be homeschooled" not that you would do that. But who is to say THAT is the reason a child is not doing well? How can you say you are not passing judgement on non homeschooling parents when it is quite clear if you do not know every individual student, YOU ARE passing judgement. Not all kids need homeschooling. Hell, maybe no kid needs to be homeschooled at all. That is the parents personal choice when they pull their kids out of school and take their complete education into their own hands...qualified or not.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"That is strictly your personal judgement on those that do not home school."



Not at all....it is only a judgment on the parents whose children NEED one on one or individualized studies and aren't providing it. Along the same lines as people saying...."I have no issue with homeschooling if and only if it is done correctly and not for inappropriate reasons."

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Mother "Some 'public schooled' kids may need to be home schooled or have one on one and the parents are too lazy or selfish to see that......let alone provide it."



"I'm sorry you don't like my comment but it doesn't make the comment any less true"



I find no validity in your statement (first one) what so ever, as far as parents being to lazy and selfish to homeschool. That is strictly your personal judgement on those that do not home school. Some people can't. Like I said "Some parents do not feel qualified to home school, nor do they have the resources. In todays economy, many households need to have 2 parents working full time simply to survive. This leads to them depending on public schools to teach their kids math, science, history, physical education, art, music, proper social behavior, and other extracurricular activities. "

Merry - posted on 03/04/2012

9,274

169

248

Ok meme this is what I was referring to,



" if it was my kid she would know absolutely nothing right now, at the age of 13.5. If she had the choice she would prefer to NOT learn. I would have to force her and it would be a battle of the wills, one that I honestly cannot say I would win. "



I feel like more often then not, this desire to not learn comes from having no choice in the matter. Kids to go to school, this takes the power away from them which can in turn make them hate learning. This is the forced learning I'm trying to avoid.

I mean think about it, a huge chunk of theirlives they have no say in what they do. They learn or else they get punnished. If they don't learn fast enough or good enough some parents punnished them! Get a D? Grounded!

This is what bothers me most. The attitude of you WILL learn whatever the teacher tells you to learn and you better learn it as fast as everyone else and if you don't you're in big trouble.

I know not every paren is like this but it IS a common thing to be disapointed in your kid or punnished them if they don't learn as you expect them to.



The biggest reason I will homeschool is the individual learning aspect. I think it's ridiculous how schools here expect every kid to be exactly the same.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"I find your comment to be extremely judgmental on parents that don't home school."



And I find many of the pro public schooling comments offensive and judgmental as well. Painting all homeschooled children and their parents with the same brush isn't fair. I'm sorry you don't like my comment but it doesn't make the comment any less true. There are oodles of children in school who NEED the individualization and aren't getting it.....and why? Their reasons might be valid. Maybe they can't afford it...maybe they don't trust themselves so they just send their child in and say....sink or swim?? Everyone keeps saying homeschoolers or their parents COULD be doing it for all the wrong reasons......well.....whether you like it or not the same true on the flip side of that coin. There are always alternatives....



ETA:: I think everyone is trying to do the best they can for the sake of their families. There is ALWAYS 2 sides to every story. There are usually very good reasons that people decide to homeschool. It isn't a decision people enter into lightly. It isn't decision made all lax-a-daisy. It is usually done because parents feel it is needed for their child to succeed.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/04/2012

19,002

9

3003

Mother "Some 'public schooled' kids may need to be home schooled or have one on one and the parents are too lazy or selfish to see that......let alone provide it."



I find your statement to be quite presumptuous. Some parents do not feel qualified to home school, nor do they have the resources. In todays economy, many households need to have 2 parents working full time simply to survive. This leads to them depending on public schools to teach their kids math, science, history, physical education, art, music, proper social behavior, and other extracurricular activities.



I find your comment to be extremely judgmental on parents that don't home school. I am sure my son would benefit from it, but he is very happy at his charter school, so that is where he will stay.

Merry - posted on 03/04/2012

9,274

169

248

The public highschool around here sucks, many of the kids I know coming out of it struggle with alcohol and or marijuana addiction. Our little town has 7 bars and 1 bowling alley with a bar. Drunk driving kills teens waaaaay more then I think is normal in my area.

3 girls died just last month or so.

Our local teens are bored. We are 30 minutes from 3 bigger cities in either direction. This is pretty common I'd expect in many parts of America.

Obviously the schools aren't enough to socialize these teens. They're bored and end up in trouble.

The homeschool group here is big and has lots of planned activities. We are in farm country so the culture here is different then big cities but here I see homeschooled kids thriving and public schooled kids struggling.

Sure there's good kids coming out of the public schools too. But the statistics of dropping out, teen pregnancy, drunk driving, being arrested, drugs, vandalism, etc are simply too high.so if I lived by a stellar school, or a Montessori school I might have considered it but since I was a kid I said I would homeschool.

I loved it and wanted to let my kids have the same experiences I got.



Memorizing, I ment what jodi said, along with stuff like memorizing dates and teaching to the test, kids having to spew out facts for a test and then forgetting it immediately.



And meme you said something about how you couldn't homeschool your daughter because of how hard it is to motivate her or something. I'll go find the place you said it but you made it outto sound like she was hard to teach.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"I still believe that sometimes people choose to homeschool for the wrong reasons. I have seen reasons ranging from fear of learning about other religions and cultures, to wanting to keep children by their side 24/7 as reasons, and none of those are healthy for the children (in my opinion). Even parents' fear of outside influences, to me, is a wrong reason, simply because eventually, that will happen whether we like it or not, as it should."



Jodi, you bring up a very valid point. I do know people like this. Usually they are the religious ones who don't want their children influenced a certain way. You are correct. That being said, people send their kids to school for a lot of wrong reasons as well. [even if it isn't in the best interest for the child] How many times, [even here on CoM] I've heard, I can't wait to shove them out the door to school so I can have some ME time again. How I can't wait to send them to school so I can go back to work. How I can't wait to send them to school so the constant chatter and questions stop. The list goes on. That is no different in my eyes. Except the latter is.....IMHO...not what is best for the child but what is best for the parent. Some 'public schooled' kids may need to be home schooled or have one on one and the parents are too lazy or selfish to see that......let alone provide it.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"My friends' kids are VERY polite, very intelligent, very well educated. She is doing a FABULOUS job with those kids. But at the same time, I can see how absolutely lonely those girls are.."



--I'm curious, how old are these girls?? Only asking because when kids become a certain age they get doom and gloomy. So many are so unhappy...or so it appears. I don't know what it is....growing pains....hormones...trying to figure out who they are?? How knows. It happens so suddenly and can only be chalked up to 'a phase'. IT doesn't happen in just homeschooled kids but public schooled kids as well. Usually at the same time they suddenly believe.......their parents know NOTHING. LOL

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"I *hate* traditional schooling. The system in America (at least) is horribly broken. The drop out rate is way too high, the teen pregnancy rate is just crazy (but that's another debate), our schools are failing, we're firing teachers because it's too expensive to keep them on board, hiring MORE office personnel, more homework, less hands-on education...it's a mess! The school system teaches to the test because the more kids who make good grades on a test the more money the school gets. It's APPALLING. I do not blame parents AT ALL for wanting to pull their kids out of traditional schools. "



DITTO!! The schooling system in Canada is no different. I'm sure there are some good schools but on a whole terrible. The minute they started caring more about provincial testing and less about the kids, it all went to hell in a hand basket.

Mother - posted on 03/04/2012

1,627

79

28

"I send my kids to Montessori school. I *love* the teaching philosophy and the methods. I grew up a Montessori kid, my mother is a Montessori teacher (retired), my sister was a Montessori kid, I'm a Montessori aid...it's a great system of learning. I think if public schools were to adopt a more Montessori method of teaching we would see a great improvement in social interactions with kids, with educational levels (which should NOT be measured by test scores, but by the number of kids who can master a work and move on to the next level of education), and with school attendance."



Kudos Kate. I would have gone the exact same route but our Montessori school got shut down by the government and couldn't get any funding. Sadly, it sat on the border between 2 municipalities and neither municipality would claim ownership or responsibility since....it is still viewed as an alternative schooling. So, if we wanted it to stay open we have to pay for it to stay open out of pocket. Really sad because they had a fantastic program for autistic children.

Kate CP - posted on 03/04/2012

8,942

36

754

Okay, I have to chime in now.



I *hate* traditional schooling. The system in America (at least) is horribly broken. The drop out rate is way too high, the teen pregnancy rate is just crazy (but that's another debate), our schools are failing, we're firing teachers because it's too expensive to keep them on board, hiring MORE office personnel, more homework, less hands-on education...it's a mess! The school system teaches to the test because the more kids who make good grades on a test the more money the school gets. It's APPALLING. I do not blame parents AT ALL for wanting to pull their kids out of traditional schools.



That being said...I don't home school. Personally, I don't have the education (I *suck* at math) or the patience to home school. But on top of that...I know a few home schoolers and I know their kids: one couple are dear friends and the other couple is my aunt.



My friends' kids are VERY polite, very intelligent, very well educated. She is doing a FABULOUS job with those kids. But at the same time, I can see how absolutely lonely those girls are...and it's sad. Don't get me wrong, these girls go to church functions all the time with other kids, see other home schooled kids every week, have play dates, etc...but it's not the same thing as going to school every day and interacting with other kids and adults EVERY day. I dunno, maybe it's just a phase their eldest is going through; but that girl seems seriously lonely.



My aunt home schooled her two sons for most of their lives. By the time her youngest was about 10 or 12 she began to send him to school, but her eldest was already graduated and fixing to go to college. Her children are hopelessly stunted socially. Her eldest son is completely anti-social, has NO idea how to behave around others (he's almost 30, btw) has never had a steady relationship, and only recently managed to get a decent job. Her youngest son is more social but doesn't understand moral obligations or relationship boundaries. Her youngest actually was heard to have said "Well, my girlfriend and I don't use any kind of contraception and we've decided that if she gets pregnant it will be her problem." o.O My aunt SERIOUSLY screwed up those boys.



Does that mean that ALL home schooled kids are like this? No. But of the ones that I've met and watched grow up I have to say the idea of home schooling still really doesn't appeal to me. I can understand the thought behind it, but I think in practice it can be harder to accomplish.



I send my kids to Montessori school. I *love* the teaching philosophy and the methods. I grew up a Montessori kid, my mother is a Montessori teacher (retired), my sister was a Montessori kid, I'm a Montessori aid...it's a great system of learning. I think if public schools were to adopt a more Montessori method of teaching we would see a great improvement in social interactions with kids, with educational levels (which should NOT be measured by test scores, but by the number of kids who can master a work and move on to the next level of education), and with school attendance.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/04/2012

3,377

8

66

Ah, I was only going with the generalization that was given. However, my daughter has memorized all her math that has been taught. So in whatever way it was taught, I don't know, I wasn't there but she remembers in the least.... I remember how to divide, mulitply, subtract, add and many other mathematical queries, even ones I do not use often but not all.



It is memory that goes with alzheimer's. It is this function I am speaking of... Practice makes perfect. The more you practice the better you get and the more you will "recall" it next time. Which to me means remember, which is from memory... That's where I was going with it. Not that you learn by having something drilled into you over a short span of time.... It is also true that if you don't use it, you lose it. Whether it was taught with meaning or not. If you don't use it regularly you will not "recall" how to in the distant future. I have forgotten things that I have not actively used for a period of time. Like Calculus, I would have to have a refresher course. I did however, remember how to do it for a period of time after learning it.

Jodi - posted on 03/04/2012

26,473

36

3891

"So what is so bad with memorizing? It is a function of the brain and a very important one at that. "



Meme, I suspect what is being referred to here is rote learning, which has been proven to be ineffective for many learning styles. In today's information society, with all the information we need basically at our fingertips, the general premise is that we don't NEED to teach by rote, but we need to teach to research, and critically analyse the information sources (because there also a lot of crap out there).



Rote learning is different from memorising. Rote learning is about learning without meaning. The focus these days is towards learning WITH meaning and comprehension, because this is a better way of recalling information. It was never about memory, it was always about recall. So a teacher can stand in front of a class and read the same thing over and over and over again, and it won't necessarily MEAN anything. If the teacher can create an environment where that piece of information has meaning to that person, then that person will develop the means to memorise, file and recall that information. Rote learning and pure memorisation can't do this for a lot of people.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/04/2012

3,377

8

66

Yeah what Jodi said (on page 10)! ;)



Laura, I have said I have no issue with homeschooling if and only if it is done correctly and not for inappropriate reasons. I do believe some parents can do a wonderful job at it. I have said this in prior posts. However, I truly believe in our public school system. Therefore, when it is ridiculed by anyone, including homeschooler's and other parents that use the public system, I feel the need to speak up. I feel the need to defend it. Simply because I have spent 32 years involved in it and I see more positive than negative. There are some area's that could be improved, absolutely. Not enough though, to render it incompetent and inappropriate for our children. 99.96% of kids go to school. Many of which become very stand up citizens and go places. I take offense when someone feels it is their place to say things like:



Meme, this is all my personal belief, but if your daughter hadn't been forced into learning she likely would love it. Where did I say my daughter did not LOVE school? She gets up every single morning and makes it on time every single morning. She is an A/B student and has been for the past 8 years. I and unsure what prompted this comment and why, if any reason it was called for? NO, she would not love being homeschooled. You know why? Because I would NOT love to do it and she LOVES seeing her friends daily. I prefer her going to a public school, where I KNOW she is learning what is required for later life. If I homeschooled, I would constantly be worried that she was not learning what she needed to. I would also need prozac because I simply could not do it... ;)



No forced learning, no grading, no tests, we will have curriculum available and will encourage our kids to explore and learn and grow but we won't be forcing them to memorize and regurgitate facts. So what is so bad with memorizing? It is a function of the brain and a very important one at that. I feel one of the insinuations here are that public schools "only" promote memorization and have the kids regurgitate facts. That is very untrue. My daughters mind is constantly being excericised. I don't know what school you have gone to or where you learnt what they do there but, you are saddly mistaken.



I remember many times being in school growing up and being upset about one thing or another and the teachers either: 1) not caring; or 2) being too busy to notice. I don't think that's particularly healthy to be in an environment where the adults who are there aren't in tuned to what is going on with a child. And I also tend to think a lot of the socialization that goes on in school is negative, particularly in the older grades. I'd rather have my kids have positive experiences rather than negative ones. This couldn't be more far from the truth. I have yet to come across a teacher that did not "care" about how my daughter felt. They have gone out of their way to help her. She has always had select few teachers that were her absolute favorite. Please explain how the socialization tends to be negative. I have yet to have my daughter have a negative experience socially. Yes, some kids do, some kids suffer but it is NOT the majority as you are trying to make it be. I too would rather my kids have positive experiences. Are you saying that if a child goes to public school the parents are not in-tune with their child having positive experience? Now, that is LOW. I only care about my children and how they feel and learn. I wouldn't be sending them some place that was going to be detrimental to their being. Man, we all must be idiots since we obviously have no clue by sending our kids to school. This couldn't be more farther from the truth. I am getting a sense that some homeschooler's are very secluded and really don't know a heck of a lot about the public school system.



There's plenty of time to be picked on and learn how to survive. Who's kid is being picked on? Mine isn't, the majority of kids are not. If you teach your kids how to stand up and be a true person, they will not be picked on. If you instill confidence and teach them bullying is WRONG they will not be picked on OR pick on other's. If you teach your child you must give respect to earn respect, they will not be picked on. If you teach them compassion and to seek guidance if there is a negative situation brewing they will not be picked on. My daughter and my son will too, have trust in other's as well as their parents. My daughter is not afraid to ask for help from teachers. Her and her friends resolve conflict for other kids, by going to the counsellor and getting methods on how to do so. She has helped other children that may be feeling inadequate, one of those minority children that are unhappy. Normally due to "home" problems not school problems. My daughter has respect, dignity, confidence, toleration, motivation, positive attitude to learning, compassion and interest. I resent anyone, whether they homeschool or not, ever saying a child that is publicly schooled cannot and will not be their full potential. That is hog wash. It makes it apparent that either that parent had a bad experience and is naive enough to think ALL do OR they are distantly educated on our public school system.



I have no issue if you homeschool. I have NOT belittled homeschooling. I have said that Public Schooling is important and as many homeschooler's here, I have said what the benefits are in the schooling of my choice. Don't diss public schooling, the incinuations that have been flying around are incorrect on so many levels. Nothing is perfect, not your way or the public way. However, the public way is a structured system that has grown over the years and has positively made changes to better our children.

Jodi - posted on 03/04/2012

26,473

36

3891

Oh, I agree Laura, I am sure there are plenty of them. And that is why I think there need to be certain standards and registration requirements.

Isobel - posted on 03/04/2012

9,849

0

282

I hate to tell you but I doubt that the "other kind of homeschooler" is rare or a 'what if'. We know that it IS happening, it's not a far stretch and based on the lunatics we have had on com over the past few years I'm not even sure if I think your kind of home schoolers are the majority.

Jodi - posted on 03/03/2012

26,473

36

3891

"Jodi seems to just disagree but always respects homeschoolers."



Actually, I am on the fence, because for me, it depends on the structure (or lack thereof) that the schooling is going to take. I have seen good and bad examples of homeschooling, in my opinion.



I have no disrespect for those who are truly providing their children with every opportunity to be able to make choices later in life, whether they wish to be a doctor or a hairdresser, and who actively socialise their children in appropriate environments, with other children with similar interests and of similar age. This may mean having to stick to a curriculum or have a tutor in various areas of skills, and having to teach the theory, but in other areas, it probably does't matter so much, because as long as you have taught a child HOW to learn and to think critically, those things can be picked up any time. If you can achieve that, then I absolutely respect what you are doing.



On the other end of the spectrum, I have also seen and heard of homeschoolers who don't do this, and whose children suffer as a result of (1) isolation, (2) lack of life skills because their education was narrow and limited, then no, I don't respect that, because that is not homeschooling, that is sheltering and suffocating.



Personally, I don't see a need to homeschool - my experiences with the education system here have all been positive. That is not to say there isn't room for improvement, because there is always room for improvement. But I am excited to see the system moveing from an industrialised model to a more individualised model as we progress with the new technologies available to us.



I still believe that sometimes people choose to homeschool for the wrong reasons. I have seen reasons ranging from fear of learning about other religions and cultures, to wanting to keep children by their side 24/7 as reasons, and none of those are healthy for the children (in my opinion). Even parents' fear of outside influences, to me, is a wrong reason, simply because eventually, that will happen whether we like it or not, as it should. It is amazing how big an influence I still am on my children, even thought I don't home school. I am still the biggest influence in their lives right now (although with my daughter, I would have to say that daddy is right up there too). There has to be more to it than that. And then there are the ones who homeschool to hide the abuse. These are many of the reasons that it needs to be regulated in some way, IMO.



Anyway, I just wanted to let Laura know it is not so much that I disagree, it's that I disagree that some people should be homeschooling, as it probably isn't in the best interests of their children. Others, well, their children will benefit, and still others, for their children it probably wouldn't have mattered either way.

Merry - posted on 03/03/2012

9,274

169

248

If people would just respect homeschooling parents then I'd be fine.

When moms disagree I don't mind!

When they're curious I don't mind.

But when they judge or hate on us then we defend ourselves.

Meme seems to think homeschool is inferior and debilitating.

Laura seems to obsess over the what ifs and the rare cases

Jodi seems to just disagree but always respects homeschoolers.i

If I've mistaken any of you please correct me but I just want to be straight.

I'm as worried as the next guy about crazy religious parents teaching their kids crazy crap

And I'm as worried as the next guy about kids being abused and neglected under the label of homeschooling.



But in my mind the vast vast majority of homeschooled children turn out just as good as their schooled peers.

Some better, some worse, most just similar!

Some kids thrive in school, some don't. Some thrive at home and some don't.

And I think that a dedicated parent will be able to succeed in teaching their child at home.



I'm off to bed now, be back in the morning to see how much I have to catch up on :)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/03/2012

3,377

8

66

Ah I see the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. Contradictions, innuendos and insinuations seem to be flying directly from the homeschooled side of things as well.... ;) Which is why I replied to so many of them.



Ah yes, but you are just arguing the homeschooled side of things and I just have no opinion because I don't sit on your side. OK then. Unfortunately for you, I have an opinion simply because a public school system is grand and does it's dutiness in teaching our children what they need in order to be released into society that we have created. Whether you like it or not. A public school system is a great place for kids, just maybe not yours. That's your choice and belief, not everyone's. That is obvious by the 0.4% of homeschooled kids in Canada, now isn't it.... Hmm, I wonder why I don't know any. Maybe because it is not as widely practiced or accepted as you want it to be. Dunno, don't care. If it is for you and you do your best at teaching your child, kudos to you. It is not for many and I don't see a bunch of people waking up tomorrow to jump on the band wagon either.



Nighty Night... Bedtime for this Momma.... ;)

Johnny - posted on 03/03/2012

8,686

26

318

It used to be unfortunately common, particularly on the Welcome page. Up until about a year ago, it was common to see arguments on that page and occasionally on here about the "fact" that humans existed with the dinosaurs, that the smrtest piple teech they're kidz at home and now best wut they shud be lerning, and that "all women should stay at home to raise their children and be their husband's helpmeets or else they are communist sluts."



You still see a few, once in a blue moon. But not like it used to be. Maybe they all went to CafeMom ;-P

Mrs. - posted on 03/03/2012

1,767

6

30

Wow is right. Things are getting CRAZY on CoMs lately. Just reading this debate is stressing me out...



Carry on with the debate, I'll keep reading it in small bits and then take a break to lower my anxiety level.

Mother - posted on 03/03/2012

1,627

79

28

I'm not losing it MeMe.....I'm trying to keep all your contradictions, innuendos and insinuations straight. I was accused of NOT asking for clarification last week....and now you're irritated because I'm asking for clarification. WOW....

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/03/2012

3,377

8

66

"More adults I know than not, are career orientated and highly contributing members to society and they were publicly schooled. As a matter in fact, I don't know one, not even one, home schooled person. I do, however, know many very intelligent and self promoting adults and again, they were publicly schooled." -- what exactly is your point?? If you don't know one homeschooled person then I find it humourous that you're even discussing us. Even tho I know more public schooled people I know quite a few homeschooled....they too are contributing members of society with rewarding careers. I hope you weren't suggesting that they would be anything less.



What is my point? Now I am sorry but that it a rhetorical question Mother B. You don't really want to know do you, I mean I think it was obvious? I was replying to Laura and her thoughts, which was said All the homeschooled adults I know of are well spoken, polite, self motivated, free thinking, dedicated, type people and honestly the people I see comming out of homeschooling are the types of people I want my kids to be like.. Now, you tell me how someone that does NOT homeschool would perceive that comment. So, you guys feel that publicly schooled children cannot be these things? WTF....



If you cannot keep all the posts and replies together I suggest you do not pass GO and react...



I do not need to know any homeschooled people to stick up for a public school system. Do I? Are you telling me what I need in order to accurately assess something I know?



Are you losing it Mother B.? I have already said how I feel about those that homeschool (and I am not going to type it again) - go find it! Here's a hint, it wasn't mean!



I have said I don't know a lot about homeschooling but I DO know a lot about our public school system. So get a grip...

Isobel - posted on 03/03/2012

9,849

0

282

over the past few years there have been pah-lenty of them. I don't see too many lately.

Mother - posted on 03/03/2012

1,627

79

28

"I wouldn't suggest that the fact that the majority of homeschooled people I have run into on COM have poor grammar and atrocious spelling, are uninformed of the basic concepts of scientific exploration, and seem to have a very limited level of life experience by any means indicates that homeschooling can not produce intelligent, well-educated, great thinkers."



--Of course you wouldn't because you're not ignorant like that, are you Johnny. I'm curious, who are these homeschooled people on COM??

Johnny - posted on 03/03/2012

8,686

26

318

Prior to the 1920's, public schooling was a regional affair. In some places it was available to the majority who could afford the fees, which were designed for middle-class farming families and the merchant class. In other places, education was costly and privatized. It was not until the 1920's that education became broadly accessible to all classes and not until post-world war 2 that high school completion became common place.



The fact that brilliant people have been homeschooled does not prove anything more about homeschooling than the fact that oodles of average or middling people have been homeschooled. I wouldn't suggest that the fact that the majority of homeschooled people I have run into on COM have poor grammar and atrocious spelling, are uninformed of the basic concepts of scientific exploration, and seem to have a very limited level of life experience by any means indicates that homeschooling can not produce intelligent, well-educated, great thinkers.

Mother - posted on 03/03/2012

1,627

79

28

" It allows for an individual to understand other's views and compare their own, thus helping greatly, in forming who they are as an individual, not who their parents are. It allows for them to see that the world is much more than what is under their home roof, it gives a vast and diverse realization of what society means." -- why are you assuming or insinuating that homeschooled children have no clue about the outside world. You don't need a school setting to learn about the world around you. You also don't need a school to find a differing view....just look at you and me MeMe....we rarely if ever agree. Homeschooled kids aren't stuck in the house, actually they are out in the 'real world' more then public schooled kids'.



"Laura, I hate to break it to you but so are many many publicly schooled children. Mine being one of them" -- true....but you're aren't constantly coming under fire or scrutiny at the mere mention of the word 'public school'....ours however are every time someone hears the words 'homeschooled'



"More adults I know than not, are career orientated and highly contributing members to society and they were publicly schooled. As a matter in fact, I don't know one, not even one, home schooled person. I do, however, know many very intelligent and self promoting adults and again, they were publicly schooled." -- what exactly is your point?? If you don't know one homeschooled person then I find it humourous that you're even discussing us. Even tho I know more public schooled people I know quite a few homeschooled....they too are contributing members of society with rewarding careers. I hope you weren't suggesting that they would be anything less.



"Little House on a Praire and Dr Quinn were just that. T.V shows. School was costly and mostly a private affair before 1918. There was no education act until 1918 but it took until 1921 before it came into affect. " -- THAT is a false statement. One of my elderly lovelies was born in 1915 and he was the youngest in his family of 5 siblings and they ALL went to school. Now my other war vets were born in the 1920's but they were all schooled as well. Generally they didn't school past grade 10 but they had it. So, saying it didn't exist is a fallacy. And I'm almost certain my Great grandmother went to school but I'll back that up as soon as I talk to my Mom.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/03/2012

3,377

8

66

Laura, I was not proclaiming that teachers taught soft skills. Pretty sure I was speaking in regards of a peer system. Teachers teach the "hard" skills. Being amongst other's in groups teaches "soft" skills. Yes, parents teach them too, especially during the preschool years. However, being amongst a societal regime, such as a formed school, where there are multiple sorts of people; now that teaches "soft" skills. It teaches you about the boundaries of other's and the boundareis of yourself. It allows for an individual to understand other's views and compare their own, thus helping greatly, in forming who they are as an individual, not who their parents are. It allows for them to see that the world is much more than what is under their home roof, it gives a vast and diverse realization of what society means. It allows for an individual to gain perspective of how people relate within a large group setting, much to what it is like in the work force. But,I guess that also depends on what "work force" means to you. To me it means "career". Where you will need soft skills and very good ones at that to advance.



All the homeschooled adults I know of are well spoken, polite, self motivated, free thinking, dedicated, type people and honestly the people I see comming out of homeschooling are the types of people I want my kids to be like.

We are all religious people! We weren't taught evolution as fact, we were 'sheltered'

And yet we all (mostly) went to college and have goals in the work force.




Laura, I hate to break it to you but so are many many publicly schooled children. Mine being one of them. ;) Well, without the religion for mine because I allow my children to figure that part out on their own. I do not believe in God, I do believe in a deity but also know it cannot be proven or discounted. My daughter is a part of a Christian Youth Group because she finds it interesting. And, all her friends go as well (which is probably the bigger reason). ;)



My daughter is an A/B student. Has been since Kindergarten and she has severe ADHD. So, they must be doing something right there..... She has NEVER gotten a C. More A's than B's but there are a few area's that are not her strength's, such as sewing and phys.ed.



More adults I know than not, are career orientated and highly contributing members to society and they were publicly schooled. As a matter in fact, I don't know one, not even one, home schooled person. I do, however, know many very intelligent and self promoting adults and again, they were publicly schooled.



Actually, I wasn't even taught evolution in school, so I am not sure who you are speaking about, it most definitely is not publicly schooled people. My daughter has not been taught evolution either.



And all those people you mentioned are currently in school minus one, the film director...



Little House on a Praire and Dr Quinn were just that. T.V shows. School was costly and mostly a private affair before 1918. There was no education act until 1918 but it took until 1921 before it came into affect.



Introduction of compulsory education

The Elementary Education Act 1880 insisted on compulsory attendance from 5–10 years.[10] For poorer families, ensuring their children attended school proved difficult, as it was more tempting to send them working if the opportunity to earn an extra income was available.




It wasn't until 1929 that there were actual elementary schools that were state funded by taxation.



As far as I understood we were talking public schools versus homeschool. I was anyhow.

Isobel - posted on 03/03/2012

9,849

0

282

NOW I remember what else I was going to say. Somebody, as always in these debates, mentioned that historically everybody was homeschooled. I think it`s important to mention that being educated in your home and being educated by your mother are two different things. The ruling class has ALWAYS had their children educated by experts. Historically it was the lower class that were educated by their parents.



I also sincerely doubt that you can count those child stars Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera*, Dakota Fanning, Leanne Rimes, and Hanson as being taught by their mothers. The fact that they learned solo and not in school does not mean that they were not educated by professionals.

Tracey - posted on 03/03/2012

236

440

0

Among the homeschool graduates I know:



A tenured professor of mathematics

A graduate of Oxford University, working in the Washington D.C. beltway as a paralegal and working on his law degree (my cousin)

An RN

A Green Beret in the U.S. Marines

Two aeronautical engineers, both licensed pilots

A minister (graduate of both a college and a seminary)

A mechanical engineer

Several teachers

A professional musician (rock)

Many kids who are in college. Many of them are in engineering fields

A horse trainer

A professional, published author

Someone in the U.S. Air Force Academy

A professional chef, graduate of the Culinary Institute of America

Several professional ballet dancers employed at noted companies, like the American Ballet Theatre and Ballet West



I've been homeschooling for 11 years, so the kids that were older kids when I started have now graduated and established careers, so that's why I know so many. I also have several homeschooling families in my extended family on both sides.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms