Homeschooling: Yes/No/Pros/Cons

Kellie - posted on 08/06/2011 ( 238 moms have responded )

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I'm starting to think I'd like to Homeschool my daughter (and any future kiddies).



There are a few reasons I'm thinking I'd like to do this, to minimise her risk of bullying (which lets face it is a huge issue), to make sure she doesn't fall through the cracks and has the attention she needs to do well and so on.



However, the lack of social interaction worries me. Humans (for the most part) are social creatures and need outside stimulation and friends to interact and play with.



For those of you who homeschool, What are your reasons for Homeschooling and do you feel your child/ren have the balance needed to be well rounded people, and do they have friends and social interactions outside their family?



For those who go the traditional route, What are your reasons for sending your child/ren to the traditional school setting and do you feel they have the balance needed to be well rounded people, and do they have enough family time?



I have plenty of time to make a final decision, but I like to (for the most part) do my research and inform myself well. I don't really like surprises.



Edited to Add another Question:



To those that Homeschool, Did you start right off the bat or did/do your Kids go to Kindy first.

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Krista - posted on 08/23/2011

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Wow. That was a bit rude.

At any rate, Sherri, you're giving all the credit for the school's success to homework when it could be any number of other factors. Perhaps your school just has better teachers.

Or maybe that little girl just isn't a quick learner.

But if you're going to use the example of one kid and one school, to counterbalance over 60 peer-reviewed studies by a noted professor of education and expert on homework, then you go right on ahead.

Krista - posted on 08/23/2011

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I think it's obscene to have that much homework, especially in when they're little. The National PTA and the National Education Association have repeatedly said that children should have no more than 10 minutes of homework a night per grade level. So in kindergarten, no homework. In grade 1, 10 minutes. In grade 6, an hour. In grade 12, two hours.

Numerous studies have shown that up until grade 7 or so, children actually derive NO educational benefit from homework. the only conclusive way to boost kids' academic achievements when they're this young is to read with them. Many elementary schools in the US are looking at phasing out homework altogether.

If kids do have homework after school, it is supposed to complement what they learned that day -- it's not supposed to be them cramming another 1/2 a school day into the evening, to make up for what the teachers did not have time to do.

Here's some data: (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/articl...,9171,1376208,00.html)

• According to a 2004 national survey of 2,900 American children conducted by the University of Michigan, the amount of time spent on homework is up 51% since 1981.

• Most of that increase reflects bigger loads for little kids. An academic study found that whereas students ages 6 to 8 did an average of 52 min. of homework a week in 1981, they were toiling 128 min. weekly by 1997. And that's before No Child Left Behind kicked in. An admittedly less scientific poll of parents conducted this year for AOL and the Associated Press found that elementary school students were averaging 78 min. a night.

• The onslaught comes despite the fact that an exhaustive review by the nation's top homework scholar, Duke University's Harris Cooper, concluded that homework does not measurably improve academic achievement for kids in grade school. That's right: all the sweat and tears do not make Johnny a better reader or mathematician.

• Too much homework brings diminishing returns. Cooper's analysis of dozens of studies found that kids who do some homework in middle and high school score somewhat better on standardized tests, but doing more than 60 to 90 min. a night in middle school and more than 2 hr. in high school is associated with lower scores.

• Teachers in many of the nations that outperform the U.S. on student achievement tests--such as Japan, Denmark and the Czech Republic--tend to assign less homework than American teachers, but instructors in low-scoring countries like Greece, Thailand and Iran tend to pile it on.

So, no...that much homework is not important OR great, especially at young ages. Kids still need time to be kids, and their little brains can only process so much new information.

Tara - posted on 08/09/2011

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Yes there are assholes in life, I mentioned that. I also said that as adults we have verbal prowess etc. on our side. Just cause my grade school kids don't have to deal with some other kids teasing them about their height/weight/acne/breasts/lack of breasts, or have someone who pushes them around and tries to take their lunch or lunch money etc. etc. or someone who likes to trip kids or knock their books out of their hands etc. doesn't mean they can't or won't be able to stick up for themselves, find ways to deal with conflict and be able to negotiate with idiots and assholes alike.

Recently my 8 year old walked to the ice cream parlour with a friend. She had a $20 bill with her, she ordered to small cones, the total being $4.80, she was short changed by the young cashier. So as my daughter did the math in her head and figured out there was a mistake the cashier quickly ducked out the back door while another worker took over.
My daughter's friend who goes to school said "Let's just go get your mom" My daughter says. "no, I'm not going to walk all the way home, what if she leaves." so she went into the main part of the business where she saw the cashier go, she then went to the lady behind the other counter and explained the situation. She was then given the correct change and the cashier was actually asked to apologize to my daughter.

They have dealt with bullies and kids who pick on other kids at skate lessons, on a regular basis, with the same kids each week. They have developed positive ways to deal with these situations. With our help and with their own confidence intact.

I don't believe that bullying is helpful to children. I don't think they need to be afraid of other kids or be afraid to be themselves in order to learn the coping skills needed to deal with unruly or rude or scary or creepy people.

Someone on here said when they were a teen they were teased relentlessly about their acne, this led them to cut themselves.
What is the lesson learned there?

And dealing with an asshole at work who is always making life miserable is a lot different from dealing with a big kid who makes you afraid, so afraid that a lot of your mental energy is spent thinking of ways to avoid the bully and the attention you get from him, cortisol flushes through your blood stream at a steadier rate and stays elevated until long after you have returned home to a safe place. This increase in cortisol can affect the brain's ability to retain information.

Bullying isn't a necessary part of childhood. Learning to deal with all types of people in positive non violent ways can better be taught through examples in daily living. We are not a violent and aggressive species by nature.
School seems to bring out these tendencies more than other learning environments.

Charlie - posted on 08/23/2011

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At three to four hours a night I am left wondering where they fit in free physical excercise , family time , social time with friends , free learning ,all vital aspects to forming a well rounded person education is important that is why children are schooled , revising topics can be constructive but when homework eats away at time that should be used on forming the different aspects of a person and how they function individually and socially that is certainly a worry.

Tara - posted on 08/23/2011

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What I have real issues with is the amount of busy work that children do at school and again at home.
This busy work provides lots of time for teachers to do other things, but a lot of this type of learning is not core learning at all.
Peripheral learning is the memorization of pretty much useless information. Take for instance in Ontario History in grade 7 students will be taught about New France, British North America and Conflict and change. This will be taught using text books, quizzes, field trips, class discussions, and projects. But what will be tested is dates, names and places of early settlers, prime ministers and political structures etc.
If a child does not remember the "facts" as they were presented, such as the date one explorer "discovered" a certain part of Canada, or the name of said explorer, they may "fail" that test, giving the impression that they do not have an understanding of Canadian History.

Which would be untrue. That child may have a broad understanding and interest in that period of time in our country's history however, his/her brain may not remember all the dates etc. simply because the interest is not there to know actual dates, that is not our nature.

The core learning that takes place is the kind of learning that sticks around, so again with the same example.
When I did grade 7 social studies and history with my older kids, we did a lot of hands on stuff, we visited a lot of neat places, we made clothes,dyed them, we cooked gross food and make hard tack. We talked about how it would be to move across the world to a new place, we discussed famous people in our history and why they were famous and what they contributed to our country etc. etc.
Which I'm sure all takes place at school as well, but the difference being, in the end I don't test my kids, they take what they will from the experiences and lessons etc. and I observe them to know that they are learning and interested in what they are learning and that often leads us into many other different topics of learning and discussion.

Learning isn't a competition between children or schools, learning and education and school are all different things.

When we pit one child against the other when it comes to brain power, speed of math drills, spelling drills, etc. we take away their right to learn without boundaries. They automatically begin the fight to be better, smarter and more accepted than the person next to them, they start to see their learning as a competition. Not as a personal journey about their talents, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses.

All in all, it's often a polarized debate. A lot of it goes back to parenting in general and not just our style of educating our children.

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Ariel - posted on 12/14/2011

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It depends on the parents.
My mom home-schooled me and I really wish that she never had. I actually feel like my life is worse because of it.

This is because my mom was not social at all and because she got bored with it. She gave us books and expected us to teach ourselves... she'd just test us. I was going to band at the public school, but she decided it was too hard to take me so I had to drop out.

At the time, I thought it was great. I was done with school at about noon every day and all that... but I don't know how to deal with people. I actually went back to public school for my last 2 years of high-school, and yeah, I adapted. However, 5 years of being isolated when I was going through an important developmental stage has really made things hard for me.

I do know a few other home-schooled kids that I met at church at the time. One family was similar to mine and they're in a similar situation. A few other families were very social and their kids grew up to be well-adjusted, although a bit socially awkward, (the boy who was my age didn't realize it wasn't okay to smack my butt when he was irritated with me because he did it to his sisters, ect...).

Meredith - posted on 11/29/2011

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I tried the homeschool thing, its not for me.... My now 8 year old and I were not yet permanent residents of Canada at the time and so she couldnt go to school up here, so I homeschooled her for kindergarten, I personally dont have the patience for it as she was a little stubborn and would fight me about doing anything. I was so glad when we got the perm residency status so she could actually go to school. For her I think it was better to be in school she met and made a lot of friends that way, but I definately like the thought of homeschooling, in fact I believe her father was homeschooled.

Tracey - posted on 11/29/2011

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As to how many in the welfare system: I don't know that anyone has measured this. But as someone in her 11th year of homeschooling, who has seen many kids graduate in the groups my kids have been involved in, I know an RN, a couple of mechanical engineers, someone in med school, a Marine, several people in the Navy, lots of college students, a pastor and his wife, a professor, and a professional writer (just off the top of my head). The *least* accomplished homeschool grad I know manages a local superstore while he pursues a songwriting/singing career and a career as a great dad. His little sister is a mom and has an associates, and is an office manager. Their mom didn't like history or literature, really didn't have a love of learning but made sure they had all the credits to be able to go to college if they chose. But they picked up on her aversion to anything other than the here and now. But they're far from being welfare recipients, or even gas station attendants. Her husband is a plumber, so it's not like there is an academic background in the family. And that's *fine*.

Tracey - posted on 11/29/2011

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My kids are 15, 12, and 6, and we've always homeschooled. No K. My oldest had a disastrous pre-K experience at age 3, where he was physically abused *in a church*.

Here's a list of things my kids are involved in or have been in. I think it should answer your concerns:

Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, Awanas, Youth Group, Baseball, Soccer, Gymnastics, Cheer, Flag Football, Tackle Football, 4-H, Pre-professional ballet, Four different homeschool support groups, Prom, field trip groups, parkour, swimming lessons, drama

When my kids have been in various sports and ballet, it's usually a 4-5 day a week thing. The pre-pro ballet was 5 days and so were football and gymnastics. The ballet involved international competition, where my oldest daughter ended up making the finals and going to Manhattan without me at the age of 10 (her birthday was the day she left). Football was great--my daughter was a cheerleader, and the teams took on public and private school teams all over the region and won more often than not, both the jr. high and high school teams. My kids are really looking forward to prom this year. My son was voted president of his 4-H club last year and VP this year.

We chose to homeschool because we didn't want our kids falling through the cracks! It's really a myth that homeschoolers don't get to socialize. My kids probably do more, not less, that kids in mass education setting. And as far as "socialIZED", meaning, knowing how to act, I think they're far better off. They can actually hold a conversation with adults without acting uncomfortable; they know to put down their iPods/Pads/other electronics when someone present is talking to them instead of acting like the person they're texting is more important.

Most people who meet my kids and interact with them think they're government school kids who are student leaders of some kind. :-) Not "weird" homeschoolers.

Amanda - posted on 11/27/2011

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I do homeschool my kids. They went to school from pre-k through the beginning of 3rd grade (my oldest) and I pulled them out because of bullying and lack of support from school officials. It was a mess. Homeschooling has been good for our family and the kids get tons of interaction with other kids. This can be done by joining homeschooling groups in your area and involving your children in extras such as sports, dance etc. It is not for everyone but you can't know unless you try! Good Luck :)

Serinitee - posted on 09/24/2011

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My apologies, hehe, my post was way too long, lol! Didn't realize I was writing an editorial.

Minnie - posted on 09/24/2011

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One of my homeschooled cousins is an aviation mechanic. Another has her bachelor's in psychology and is working on her master's. Another is a nutritionist. Another is studying zoology. One is working in an auto body business where they refurbish antique vehicles. All homeschooled. There is one more child in our extended family (aside from my daughters) who is still being homeschooled, she's nine.

[deleted account]

Laura, I'm sure you could have! Heck, after 5 years of higher education, I decided that I wanted to pursue being a mom...lol!

Merry - posted on 09/24/2011

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Oh Sara, I'm sure I could have pursued anything I wanted! If i remember correctly I shared hoe my sister is getting her PhD in physics right now. We had the same schooling but she desired to continue to this so she did! I never cared for college so I didn't. I like how we arenas 'molded' to conform to the same stuff. My sister and I have different life goals and our homeschool education was able to be shaped to fit our needs.

[deleted account]

I think we've been through that debate before and I've made it VERY clear that I'm all for regulation and monitoring. I'm responding to Johnny who asked Laura what would happen if she'd wanted to pursue something other than being a mom. Homeschooling is a popular option where I live and I can't think of a single homeschooler that has 'failed' at life (so to speak). No, anecdotal evidence is not always the best evidence. So I will say that study after study has shown that homeschoolers out perform their peers. I'll go find the research later unless someone beats me to it.

Merry - posted on 09/24/2011

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Laura I think far more public school grads or dropouts are failing to meet their full potential then homeschooled grads.

Isobel - posted on 09/23/2011

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I wonder how many hundreds we could find within the welfare system...anecdotal information isn't really helpful. You only now those who were CLEARLY homeschooled WELL...are you suggesting that there are not many who are not??? and that they don't deserve to be monitored better?

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I was talking over homeschooling with my husband the other day and thinking about all the adults we know that were homeschooled. One has a bachelors in mechanical engineering and a law degree. Another works for our governor. Another is a marketing coordinator for a local tv chef. Another is a civil engineer. Another is a nurse. It seems to me that all these people received more than adequate education to make it in the 'real world'.

Serinitee - posted on 09/23/2011

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Okay, I've spent unknown amounts of time perusing this entire discussion, and I believe that a valid issue has been glossed over, and possibly even missed completely. Our children are adaptable. It is obvious that as parents who are studying this question so thoroughly, that we want what is best for our children. However, there is also a very prevalent theme of the fear of failure in the majority of these posts. No one wants to be viewed as a bad parent for the decisions that they make for their family or for their child and that is a very real and strong fear. More worrisome, is the possibility that our children could be viewed as failures when we've done so much cheerleading for our cause. If these two fears are released, I think there is a strong potential for a very good, strong, thought-provoking discussion, which this has been, but everything can stand to be improved in my book.

My concern is that this fear of failure can and does affect our children much more than any cruddy incompetent school system, or delusional homeschooling philosophy can. My point is, children can adapt to any situation that they are put in, as long as they have a strong family core to go back to. Correct me if I'm wrong, but extremes ruin nearly everything. In public schools, parents who have no involvement in their child's education whatsoever usually have students who don't perform as well. Parents who are overly involved in their child's education (refusing to let them sit back a grade if they aren't excelling, or putting tons of pressure on their children to succeed) usually end up with student's who don't perform well, or who are unhappy with their performance or burned out before they graduate. In a home schooling setting, parents who don't take home schooling seriously and feel like their children actually can simply learn without guidance from the get go, with no effort whatsoever on their part, usually don't have academically successful children. Also, parents who shove homeschooling down their children's throats and are constantly looking for ways to prove themselves, or are smothering their children, usually have children who don't perform well and/or are academically burned out as well.

Any time I research the home school topic, I feel concern about the credibility of parents on either side of the equation. I've intentionally searched for homeschooling mothers who say that they are afraid, stressed out, concerned or are questioning their decision to homeschool. I also look for homeschooling parents who have relented and let their children go to school. When I see advocates of the educational system, I look for parents who are on the fence, or who admit that they are unsure of their abilities to teach or fear taking responsibility for their children's education for various reasons. I do this because I'm looking for honesty and not defensiveness. I need to make the right decision for my family based on real life experiences and not on people's fantasies and ideologies, or people's desires to make themselves look better for the decisions that they've made. It bothers me when homeschooling or un-schooling parents continuously rant about how excellent everything is going and how advanced their children are in every subject and how they take initiative with only a little encouragement, because in my life, things have never been that easy, I've always felt that anything good is hard to gain, and it is worth working and/or fighting for. Children aren't created to sit in a seat for hours, but they also aren't created to follow direction very easily either, most of them pave their own paths and constantly test the waters. It also bothers me when parents exude about how absolutely wonderful their public school system is, and how it is the best, and it teaches their children everything they need to know, because I had children so that I could teach them my values, because I feel that my beliefs will be helpful in shaping this society, not because I agree with one set of values that I want all children in society to learn. I didn't have children so that public schools and the government could raise them, and yes in my neck of the woods we attended school 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, tons of homework in most cases, extracurricular activities, if my mother wasn't so vocal and insistent, and I wasn't so receptive to her opinions, the school system would have raised me in those 12 long years, and in some cases it did.

I've seen people voice concerns that the whole world will turn to homeschooling (an exaggeration on my part not the poster's). This does not seem to be a risk to me seeing that, although homeschooling is on the rise, it is in the very slim minority. Also, not everyone is going to want to bear the full burden of their child's entire education, and not every family is financially equipped to do so. That being said, if this is one's only concern when guiding or advising a single individual when she raises the question about homeschooling, then I call ulterior motive and think very critically about any future comments made on the issue.

Now, people are going to think this is overly simplistic and say "duh" but these children are not robots who simply need a bit of programming, they aren't empty vessels that need to be filled, they are learning, living human beings who are growing, engaging and developing at a much faster rate and pace than we are, and whose minds have a greater potential simply because of this. Our job is to foster that potential to the best of our abilities and make sure to remove as much potential blockage as possible. Also, our children are not as fragile and helpless as they may seem when we look at the big picture, and only become that way when increasingly and constantly exposed to acute disfunction. "Nothing is perfect"? I wholly disagree, but I understand the sentiment. I feel that we as human beings are perfect even in our mistakes and flaws because we are constantly seeking improvement and examining our situations, and that is exactly what we were designed to do, whether you look at it as evolution or spirituality. I believe that whatever happens in our lives affects us because it was meant to happen that way to get to the end result. So even in the mistakes we make with our children, those mistakes were made to shape our children how they were meant to be shaped and quite obviously this is strictly my opinion. And even with that said, I still recognize my responsibility to do my best to not be dysfunctional :) if you all are following me.

"They say a child shall lead us," and I know that is likely out of context and that some will balk at the religious reference, but I am of the strong opinion that when the time comes, my children will tell me in every way possible what he/she needs, just like my son does now without even having the capability of using words. He tells me when he needs attention, he tells me when he needs food, tells me when he is bored as hell. At one, he shows remarkable strength, endurance and adaptability that I feel will continue to develop as long as my fears and opinions don't hold him back, break him or hold him down. It is my and my husband's job, and ours alone to listen, and work accordingly.

Ashley - posted on 09/18/2011

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I am American and a product of private school. My husband grew up in another country with his brothers and sisters going to separate private schools. From my experience in private school, it’s just a richer crowd of snotty kids who don’t really care about God unless they’re in front of teachers, school officials, and parents. So, my husband and I have put our two sons in public school, but we have decided that I will homeschool our daughter. She’s three and I’ve already started. I have an elementary education degree but I have been a stay at home mom since I was pregnant with my first (seven years ago).



I am blessed to live in Virginia. The homeschooling association here is great. Sports, cheering, drama, science fairs, dances, and other social gatherings. The homeschooled teams compete against the private schools. I can’t wait until we can officially be a part of it with our daughter. My boys don’t seem jealous that she gets to stay home with mom, but I am worried about her feeling that it’s not fair to her when she gets old enough to realize the difference between her schooling and theirs. I will counter that with incentives, hands-on experiences for her at museums, frequent field trips out of town, and an honest and simple explanation. I think if you reason with your kids they will grow up to be reasonable and understanding, rather than being simply authoritative and because-I-said-so.



As far as fitting-in and being like the other kids, I am very conscious of what all three of my children feel (not just my homeschooler). Adolescence is not a time to lay the platitudes on thick for your kids, telling them they “need to be themselves” or whatever. Becoming one’s self is something that comes with maturity which we all know kids and teens don’t have a whole lot of. So whatever my kids need to survive junior high and high school - feeling cool and confident - I’m going to get it for them. That includes my daughter. I care much more about how my children are acting than what they’re wearing or what kind of hairstyle they’ve got.



Wow I realize that got long, but thanks for reading.

Heather - posted on 09/16/2011

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i was home schooled due to "bullying" and yeah home school is great and all but you need your kids to socialize to or they end up in collige looking a microwave like a monkey doing a math problem,( yes we lived that far out in the boonies) or ends up being "that creepy kid" (did i mention the boonies??) trust me on this, try a charter school first.

Merry - posted on 09/07/2011

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Yeah I don't agree with my moms 'fear' of secular stuff. She avoided all things that she felt argued Christianity. Including evolution.
So had I wanted a life in the sciences I might have been I'll equipped.
But my sister is very successfully on her way to her phd in chemical physics so I guess had I wanted to know more in the sciences I could have succeeded as well. My sis did take physics and AP physics in a public school as complementary subjects o her homeschool stuff. My mom struggled in the maths and sciences so she utilized other ways to teach us, DVDs, or some co-op style help.

Johnny - posted on 09/07/2011

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Laura, I certainly see no evidence here ever that you are "socially stunted" and I don't think that is really necessarily the case with homeschooled children. But on many of your posts I've seen evidence that your education was not exactly complete or comprehensive in many areas, especially science. What if you had grown up to want to become something other than a homeschooling mom? What if you had wanted to go to university and become a bioligist. You would have struggled to even get acceptance and pass first year with what you have told us you were taught. To me, unless a child receives the basics in ALL subject areas, it's hard to really call that a comprehensive education that sets us up for the future. Given your lack of knowledge about biological science, how do you plan to teach it to your chidlren?

I do not mean to single you out in a negative way, I really do respect you. I just find that the way everyone is so gung-ho about homeschooling ignores some things that could be long-term concerns.

Merry - posted on 09/07/2011

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I agree it's not a common desire, and I would never encourage someone to homeschool if they didn't think they wanted to. But I think, if a mom wants to teach her kids at home, she will probably be doing the best she can to ensure they succeed. And the stats show that most homeschooled kids do succeed. But i am not a public/private school hater. If my kids wanted to go to school I would explore it as an option. But personally I loved it so I assume my kids will too.
Btw, how's the pregnancy going Sherri? When are you due?

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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I think it has to be a desire and most mom's I know have no desire and feel public or private schooling is better options. I know that is most of my issue I would never want to and have zero desire to even consider homeschooling. Plus it only works if you are not a full time working parent as well which besides myself I know no one that is strictly a SAHM parent.

Merry - posted on 09/07/2011

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Then if a mom couldn't teach upper grades math she has options, a DVD school, satellite, online, or even using a public school for one class of math!
Anyone can go to college for a degree in teaching, so I think most everyone could equip themselves to teach their own kids at home.

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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Laura I disagree I think most parents can not homeschool. I won't even pretend to be able to homeschool and I am a college graduate but I am in no way a great teacher other than preschool, kindergarten ages. No way could I or most people I know homeschool anyone. It would do all these children an injustice.

Just because you are knowledgeable in an area in no way means you can teach it. Plus I don't think most people succeed enough in all subjects that need to be taught to be able to teach their children them either. I know for certain I would never be able to teach my children math past a 4th or 5th grade level just because of how much it has changed over the years. The way I learned it is no longer the way it is taught now and I do not understand it at all.

Rachel - posted on 09/07/2011

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Laura yes Scarborough is part of Toronto. its only an area nowm its not its own town or anything technically. yes newmarket etc are part of the GTA and the entire discussion is about school and my points were baed on the TDSB. so yes, scarborough is a part of that. and to be more specific, i live on the border of east york toronto and west scarborough.. ive also live in toronto for over 20 years so ive gone to school and college etc all over toronto.

Merry - posted on 09/07/2011

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I think most parents are able to homeschool. I think it takes common sense, not genius status. So as long as a parent has common sense they should be able to raise their kids well without help from an out of home school.
There's so many options, just buying books and teaching yourself, buying books and DVDs of the lessons, buying books and using satellite lessons, online school, or even unschooling. So I think there's a fit for most anyone who wants to homeschool.

Isobel - posted on 09/07/2011

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I read it like you were one of the few whose parents WERE capable of doing it properly. She said that most homeschooling parents have good intentions but simply are not capable of giving a child EVERYTHING that they need to grow up to be fully functioning and socially healthy.

Merry - posted on 09/07/2011

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Well I assume since was pretty sheltered and religiously schooled I would be in the category of 'unsocialized' kids who can't function. Obviously kids like taras won't be socially stunted, but my mom bordered on the extreme side of sheltering. And yet we turned out great IMO.

Isobel - posted on 09/07/2011

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...but it's not really. It's an artificial boundary created by that loser Mel Lastman...and Newmarket is part of the GTA

Tara - posted on 09/07/2011

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I thought Scarborough became a part of toronto when they amalgamated everything. My dad lived in newmarket, still does but now it's part of toronto too.

Jakki - posted on 09/07/2011

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Jeez Rabecca that is quite shocking! Amazing that you have come across that many home schooled kids and that you've noticed such a tendency to poor social skills. That's quite sad. No doubt there are lots of exceptions as Laura pointed out.

Merry - posted on 09/06/2011

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That's very odd Rebecca, I've shocked coworkers time and time again when I reveal I was homeschooled. A few times they even were complaining to me about how awful homeschooled kids turned out and I said, umm I was homeschooled! They couldn't believe it. Apparently I am too 'normal' to be homeschooled. And I was quite sheltered IMO
I think it more has to do with siblings, if you don't have 3+ kids it's much harder for the kids to learn proper interactions. So only kids or families with just 2 might need extra effort into interactions outside the house.

Rabecca - posted on 09/06/2011

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I have a very strong oppion on home schooling and only because over they years I have worked with so many kids who were home schooled before I changed jobs I worked for 13 yrs in fast food so you might guess I came into contact with so many kids over the yrs.
For the most part I think that its a great love and concern that leads parents to the choice of home schooling but most are ill equipt to handle the many areas that helps kids be independant strong and able adults but none more so than thier socail skills always seem extremly lacking to the point that its so noticable that most of the other workers start asking them whats wrong with you are you home scholled I swear its not a lie they can almost be picked out of a crowd.
I dont think public school is wonderful or the only answer and yes it comes with many obsticales as well . However as far as teaching kids socail skills how to navigate in different settings I think it def leaves them better able to handle jobs and interacting with adults and peers in a much better way .
Like I said I think that parents who do home school for the most part do it for all the right reason but are just not perpaired to see all the areas they are leaving lacking in thier kids and that is sad to see plus most of them once they get out into the world per say go off course because they have never been in settings with opposite sex or know how to deal with some more wordly situations and can be very innocent and easy pray because trust me there are these kids out there that want to see how far they can push your shelter kid.
Plus sometimes I think maybe not keeping them away from tough situations is best but teaching them how to deal with them when they come up is the best answer or knowing when they dont know what to do that you are there to ask we all want to do whats best for our kids and I think if we could all keep them safe and warm in our home we would but thast not real life we cant be there to hold there hand thier whole life and I believe being a really good parent is teaching them how to be independant and well adjusted adults and able to go through life feeling they have the tools to deal with anything and for me I think that homeschooling is a wonderful idea and a loving one also butover the years I can tell you over the 100 or so homeschooled kids I have worked with there may have only been one or two kids that parents really understood and made sure thier kids where as socailly adjusted as they should have been by the time they reached thier teens and for me those are not very good odds .Parenting is tough enough and most parents these days dont take it as serious as they should or understand its not the schools job to raise your kids it our but for me I still think overall even with the down falls of public schools I think that is the best thing for my family

Merry - posted on 09/06/2011

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Right now my main goal is my kids, when they're older or adults i can start helping 'fix the world' so to speak but I think giving my kids the best possible while they are young and still developing into who they will be is my priority.

And think if I raise my kids well enough then they too can help others. Sort of the 'put on your oxygen mask before the babies' mentality. I wouldn't risk my kids turning out badly just so I can make an effort for society right now.

Besides, homeschooled kids statistically are smarter etc then public schooled kids soisnt it helping society by creating a smart strong new generation?

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Can I get back to the 'homeschooling is bad for society' thing? I apologize, I know that was brought up a long time ago. My mind has been elsewhere though.

I'm not going to argue that it's not bad for society. I can see that point, clearly. But moving to an area where you know the schools are good can be just as 'bad' for society. Putting your kids in a private school can be 'bad' for society. Choosing to live in a good safe neighborhood instead of staying in a bad one and working to improve it can be 'bad' for society. Essentially, it can have the same effect. I would challenge anyone that thinks homeschooling is bad for society, to find a failing school and and put your kid there. Bad idea? Probably. I think I said this somewhere else, but I would be more than willing to teach or volunteer in a failing school. I'd love to give my time to a cause like that once my children no longer need me at home. But I'll keep my kids in an excellent public or private school or homeschool where they can get a quality education. Because that's the purpose of school.

Rachel - posted on 09/06/2011

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Laura i live in Scarborough and I'm not only refering to schools. The neighborhood kids are rough and more than half swear and rough house as soon as their parents leave. My daughter learned to punch kids after one unsupervised playday. she also started saying "not fair" and crossing her arms so at such a young age (2.5) she is a sponge and i know the influence of other kids is over exagerated. There are kids in the neighborhood who are well mannered children but allit takes is 1 misbehaving child to steer the others wrong. The parents are who i feel is to blame and I live in a nice quiet are as far as crime etc is concerned, its just Toronto. If you live here you knw that you can go one city block north/south/east/west and you're in a rough neighborhood. I went to school in toronto and i wasnt a bully, i had other kids be rude to me and try to bully me but i was ok. I was also on sports teams, in clubs and had tons of friends so i wasnt an outcast nor a bully yet i always said i would never put my children in pubic school in toronto. I think the children are exposed to way too much here and i personallly dont think the teachers are on it as much as its being said. I have many friends in scarborough who have had their children change schools due to teaches and principals as well so i dont think tis just the students and i dont think its being dealt with as much as it could be

I'd also like to add I had some amazing teachers in Toronto and i moved a LOT as a kid and went to over 26 schools so ive tried a lot out and always had to make new friends and as i said, i did fine. I just know I watched other kids do things i couldnt imagine and after i moved out of toronto to peterborough and then collingwood, i saw the difference in school systems (all just within Ontario alone) and i was shocked. The parents were very involved and there was next to no bullying, discrimination etc

I also dont think the education is challenging enough (i ended up in gifted and extended french and was bored outta my mind) the school was focused on kids that couldnt keep up and had specialty classes and teacher for them where as the gifted program kids were left to teach themselves basically. i guess they figured less interaction and we were smart enough to do it ourselves. there were very few debates and only a ton of reading. hardly any class presentations and group work etc. even more borin that doing work i already knew in my normal class. I just dont think such a large school system TDSB has it all figured out yet and i'd rather teach my kids at home or in a smaller area. its my personal opinionf rom my previous and current experience but im sure there are good schools everywhere

Isobel - posted on 09/06/2011

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Rachel, I'm curious which part of Toronto you are using as your measuring stick to say that our kids aren't well behaved. I know the great majority of kids my kids go to school with are lovely. I'd also like to agree with Jakki that bullying is a HUGE no no these days. Any time it is even remotely hinted at, the teachers and admin come down on it like a ton of bricks.

Merry - posted on 09/06/2011

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Oh and drop offs, yes we were dropped off at gymnastics, twice a week, from ages 6 or so, swimming around the same age, soccer practise, art classes, baseball, tennis. Hmm our favorite was a soccer camp that was every weekday for like four weeks in summer, drop off at 9, lunch there, and pick up at 3. THAT was the best! So fun :)

Merry - posted on 09/06/2011

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Johnny, since my kids aren't that age yet I can't say what I'd do personally, but myself that age, yes we did. We had stuff like sports where it was loosely supervised, we went to the park alone 8-15 years or so and played with random kids there. We made friends at sports that weren't 'pre approved' by our parents. Andveven at church outings we were exposed to more 'questionable' kids as it was open to everyone and alot of the inner city kids showed up out of boredom or hunger.

Jakki - posted on 09/06/2011

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Hi Kellie I haven't read all the posts so this might have been covered, but I just thought I should add that nowadays bullying is really a big no no at public schools. My eldesdt is in Yr 5, 2nd in yr 3 and youngest in yr 1 which means my kids have between them had 9 years of schooling. There has been almost no cases of bullying at all. Not just for my kids but for anyone. If I hear anybody talking about it, it's usually mild stuff and the teachers pounce on it. The teachers are always talking about inclusion and multiculturalism. There are some "special needs" kids in some classes and everybody makes a big effort to make them feel involved.



nb We live in the inner city in Australia which I suppose is generally a middle class area, so I can't speak for what it might be like in other maybe rougher areas. Nor can I speak for high school, because we haven't got there yet.



But I just wanted you to know that things might have improved since your childhood...



I love the idea of home schooling but it would kill me!

Johnny - posted on 09/05/2011

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I have some questions for the homeschooling moms...

Do you allow your elementary school children to socialize in a very loosely supervised setting? Such as a couple parents taking a larger group, say 8-10 kids on an outing without all parents? Do they attend recreational/cultural programs where you drop them off and pick them up? Do they have the opportunity to socialize with children who might not have been your first choice when it comes to friends?

Rachel - posted on 09/05/2011

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ive been thinking about homeschooling or possibly private school since i live in toronto and the children here arent the most well behaved. mainly though, i know my daughter is very intelligent and the nursery school she's been to suggested she start school but the schools in my area dont have an early education program geared towards pre Pre-school kids (2-4) so after lookin into it, i think its hard to trust a system that just thinks kids born in the same calander year are of equal intelligence. i would much rather have my daughter go at her pace at home with me where i can tell if she's bored etc. the way i've always dealt with social interaction is play groups, routine gatherings with friends etc. i used circle of moms to meet new moms in my area too :) its been great. my daughter is starting dance this fall as well as a pre-school discovery class. we also swim and go to tons of child friendly places so she can interact with other kids :) either way you choose there's lots of other way kids can interact with other kids :)

Cara - posted on 09/02/2011

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I also am choosing to homeschool my 2 girls for various reasons. there is a lot of bullying in school and kids really don't leanr much except to be a bully these days but thats not my reason. I am choosing to homeschool because school is now teaching a lot of things that i refuse to have forced in my childs face. also because far too many kids graduate from school these days and cannot do simple math, spell or read properly. I was homeschooled some as a child and i do know that it can be hard with the lack of social life at times but in the area I live there are MANY homeschool groups around. there are several sport teams specifically for homeschooled kids as well. Also going to church gives them interaction with other children. I have several friends that will be homeschooling as well near me and that will give both of our children others to interact and play with. For me it is more important for my child to have a good education WITHOUT being harrassed by others or taught how to harrass others than for them to have a bunch of friends.

Noreen - posted on 08/31/2011

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We are a new homeschooling family! THis is our first year homeschooling, and honestly, I LOVE IT! We are doing the k12 program and there are so many playgroups that we go to each week so that they can get the social interaction they need. k12 also has a community school program where we all meet up once a week and the kids go into their own class rooms (like a public school) and get to be taught by someone else and have interaction with other kids their age who are in the same program.

We choose homeschooling for many reasons. One, we live in CA, schools here are not the best. My son last year was in Kindergarten and has ADD. I felt like he was falling through the cracks and was being singled out by his teacher. He was constantly in trouble. He is so smart and would blow through his assignments, get bored and then disrupt the other students. Because we homeschool, we can work at his pace, which is a pretty swift pace and he has been doing 2-3 math assignments everyday. Another reason is because we are a military family. My husband is gone a lot, and I like to take advantage of visiting family while he is gone. Homeschooling gives us the flexibility to travel and not worry about missing school.

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All 3 of my kids go to school. I don't think your child will fall through the cracks if you are an involved parent and stay on top of what your child is doing in school. I e-mail my kids teachers ( I have 1 in elementary, 1 in middle and 1 in high school) and let them know that I am an involved parent and encourage them to contact me if their are any problems or see anything I should be aware of. If you are a stay at home Mom you can go and volunteer in your child's class room, most teachers have an open door policy. Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do. It is great to have a choice.

Stifler's - posted on 08/24/2011

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Oh it is I love nursing and I loved Aged care which inspired me to do nursing but I also chose it because I knew I could always get a job anywhere I moved. i don't really have a passion for anything else except maybe taking pictures of my kids but I'm not that good at that.

Merry - posted on 08/24/2011

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Well the safe choice might be the smart one! I think it's admirable to b able to pick a stable major, it might not be your passion but if you know you will need to use it it's smart to go for one that's always in demand! But if you really just don't need college to achieve your dreams that doesn't mean you aren't smart :)
I think I've learned more in my two years of mothering then I learned in the 12+ years of school!

Stifler's - posted on 08/24/2011

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That's why I chose nursing. At least I know at the end of it I'll be a nurse instead of having all these options to pick from. I always choose the safe option it's so sad lol

Merry - posted on 08/24/2011

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My friend niel has 3 bachelors degrees and he works as a bartender :( he can't find a career he's interested in that has jobs available! It's sad but all his college got him nowhere.

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