How do you feel about parents that drop sick kids off at daycare?

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Jodi - posted on 10/05/2010

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I don't even think a common cold is acceptable. Having run my own in-home daycare in the past, I have seen many seemingly innocent runny noses quickly turn into something more serious, like strep throat, croup, whooping cough, the flu and so much more. Sometimes, a clear runny nose is just the first sign of something big, even without other symptoms. Obviously not all of the time, but why put other children at risk and risk your child getting worse?
I understand that for working moms (I'm a SAHM by choice) it can be very difficult to accumulate enough sick time or to find someone to watch your child when they're ill, and maybe because I'm a SAHM and am always here for my daughter in good health or illness (sounds a bit like marriage!!! lol) that it's easy for me to say that as parents we have responsibilties to help our children get better as soon as possible and as citizens we have a responsibility to not expose everyone else to oru children's illnessess so that they DO have to take time off work. A huge part of my beef with this, is that if my daughter gets sick because you (hypothetical you) sends your kid with the sniffles out into the world and my daughter plays with him/her and gets even a clear runny nose or a small cough, I can not see my mother for 2 weeks as she is on chemo. When I was pregnant and first had my daughter it was the same situation with my mother in law.
This is a personal pet peeve of mine as it is very frustrating to take my daughter somewhere, in good health, and see children with snotty noses and coughing (not covering their mouths) and know that I can't visit my mother (or at one point my MIL) to make sure she didn't contract anything. But, I also hate people who go to work sick too, I certainly dont' want to get sick just because my cashier couldn't take the day off to get better before touching my groceries with her germ infested hands! lol

Charlie - posted on 10/05/2010

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I should post this in pet hates , because it drives me crazy when people drop sick kids off at school especially when i had to watch them walk around school all day miserable , all they want is to be at home which usually ends up the case when i have to call their parents to pick them up not to mention all the other kids start going down hill too , UGH , pet hate for sure !

Charlene - posted on 10/06/2010

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A little bit of a cold or sniffles fine. But if your child is hacking and the nose is running like a faucet then medicate or keep them at home. As parents we need to teach our children how to cover! don't use your hand, cover with your sleeve or in your shirt. I do understand as a working mom I know how hard it is to make the choice to send the child or not. i find we send the child because were desperate, our work place doesn't care that we are also parents and we are put in a difficult situation so maybe the problem lies with our employers?

[deleted account]

In NZ all daycares are required to have illness policies in daycares and they're usually based on local health guidelines. Some parents do get very upset but we maintain no coming back to daycare after 48 hours from the last bout of diarrhoea or vomiting and we can send a child home with a green runny nose. Children with fevers are sent home too as that can become life threatening in a short amount of time. We also don't allow parents to just dose sick kids up on pamol and send them in. The norm in NZ is only 10 paid sick days per year so we have a lot of parents who run into troubles esp. if they have more than one preschool child. Really, if sickleave was always paid, a lot of problems would be fixed and I think there would be less sickness but that's another debate I guess.

[deleted account]

Same here Krista, It is written in our contract with our dayhome that a common cold is fine... anything else is not.

I guess it should be a factor in the choice of daycare/dayhome.

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Charlene - posted on 10/10/2010

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I agree I am a working mother and its a hard decision to make. Basically if your child is performing as usual that's fine I always medicate if I have to drop my child off that way at least the coughing isn't continuous and spreading through the air. A big tip for parents with children over 5 give Oregano oil OMG this stuff is a wonder oil you will see a difference in a matter of minutes! Just wash it down with lots of water. By the way I understand we have to drop our sick children off sometimes when we have to work but when it comes to the gym its not necessary and you should keep them home because that's optional.

[deleted account]

I don't particular care for daycare myself. I think that a child would probably fare better with one of the parents staying home or having grandparents or a reliable babysitter watch the child when parents need to work. That way, you have at least SOME control over how your child is affected behaviorally on a day-to-day basis.

As for the sickness situation, however, my child will stay home if he or she has a fever or a very bad cough or anything worse, but sniffles? If you don't have flu-like symptoms or some kind of noticeable physical ailment like swollen lymph nodes, you are going to school, because that's a learning institution and it is mandatory. That's how it was with me, and I turned out fine. Sniffles could just be allergies, in which case the parent needs to fix it with a doctor's visit. A kid doesn't need to miss school because of allergies, which are more manageable than sickness.

Nikki - posted on 10/06/2010

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my son is super sick right now because of daycare and I dont want to bring him back there til he gets better in fear of him getting worse, nor do i think its fair to infect the other kids, but in reality it was the other kids that got him sick in the first place, and not every mom can take off day after day and still keep their job, trying to arrange for him to stay home for the next few days was tricky but we were lucky and got it covered, some people arent as lucky, if they ahve a fever tho they are automatically sent home. I wish more then anything in the world we could afford for me to stay home with him and not have to deal with this, but we cant and it sucks) Not all jobs have paid sick days or sicks days, and after taking off a day a week for weeks on end, no boss is going to keep you around

Kim - posted on 10/06/2010

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If they seem ok then with a cold is fine, as long as the snot isn't constantly coming out and they didn't have to give them Tylenol so they would feel better. I always hated when parents send their kids in sick, get us sick, then they are sick and complaining-yes you sent YOUR kid in feeling that way but you want us to take your kid extra days/hours so you can get some rest(poor you!!) but guess what, we are short on teachers because YOUR kid got us all sick!!! You hit my pet peeve too!!

Sharon - posted on 10/06/2010

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If I kept my kids home for every sniffle - they'd probably see 2 months of school altogether.

One or another always has a cold at some point.

So if its a cold - off they go to school. If they have a wracking cough, fever, rash or aches - they stay home.

Rosie - posted on 10/06/2010

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if it's just a runny nose and or slight cough, no fever, than no i don't think they should be kept home from daycare. anything else would upset me.
i've also had it where i've kept my son home from school with a cold because he acts like he doesn't feel good. i've also had it where he goes back and he's still coughing even though it's days or even weeks later. should he stay home until he's completely done coughing? that seems rather silly to me.

[deleted account]

Most daycares allow a common cold because its a fact of life. Most jobs DON'T have paid sick leave where I'm from and you can get fired within 90 days from any job in Montana now for any reason and your employer doesn't have to explain anything to you.
If its possible to find an alternative I will but if not they would go to daycare. I worked at the daycare my kids went to and if your child gets sick at daycare a lot, you daycare isn't doing there job.

Kate CP - posted on 10/06/2010

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Nope. If the kid is sick the kid should stay home. Then again, that's coming from a woman with no immune system and my kid brings home every bug and virus known to man. But she rarely gets sick herself. She apparently has her daddy's immune system (thank God).

Krista - posted on 10/06/2010

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It's a tough situation, obviously. And honestly, I think it should be up to the daycare provider and the parents of the children in the daycare. My daycare provider and the other moms all have a tacit agreement that a common cold is fine. I don't get upset if some other kid is at the daycare with a runny nose -- it happens, and I know that a lot of the other mothers there don't get any sick days, so I'm not going to demand that some poor woman put her job in jeopardy . Now if it's something more serious, we keep them home, also by tacit agreement. When Sam had hand, foot and mouth disease, I took a couple of days off work, and so did my husband (even though I get paid for sick days and he doesn't).



Basically, the point of all of this is that the daycare should be talking to the mothers and setting a policy with regards to sick kids that is as agreeable to as many of the parents as possible. And if one or two parents don't like the policy, then they will either have to deal with it, or look elsewhere.

April - posted on 10/06/2010

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no a cold isn't acceptable....like Loureen, it is a huge pet peeve of mine when parents drop off sick kids. it is also a huge pet peeve of mine that the reason behind it is often "i don't feel like dealing with my sick kid" rather than "if i don't work, we can't pay t he rent/mortgage" (most jobs DO have sick days, even paid sick days for cripes sake)

[deleted account]

Jodi, I didn't take offense at your comment I was just explaining my point of view on this. My son is in a day home where it is acceptable for him to go with a common cold but nothing else. If mucus is green, coughing more than once in a while, not himself, etc.



I just think that a common cold is not a big deal and I would have to keep my son home for at least half the winter. I found a daycare that was willing to deal with the common cold but that's it. Anything else, he stays home

[deleted account]

I work in a daycare. It depends on the symptoms. If the child has a runny nose, but its clear, then its ok. If its green, that means there is an infection and they should stay at home. A cough every now and then is fine, but a persistant hacking cough should be kept at home. Not only do you have to think about the other children and teachers getting sick but you have to think about the comfort levels of your own child. Daycares are busy, noisy places. It is unfair to expect a sick (even slightly sick) child to go to daycare. They will take longer to recover and will just not have a nice experience. Keep your child at home. They'll feel better and you'll stop the germs from spreading. Being an Early Childhood Teacher is the germiest job in the world. Truly. I have a chest infection and I only work 2 days a week! I've never been sick so often in my life since working in daycare.

[deleted account]

My oldest daughter is one of those kids that sounds HORRIBLE (coughing her lungs up, wheezing, etc.) but she's really fine. She gets really bad allergies in the spring and fall, and when her allergies are acting up her asthma gets worse, and as a result she gets breathing treatments (with the Albuterol and the nebulizer). She gets the treatment between breakfast and leaving for the day. As a result, she is coughing up crap all day long (that the Albuterol has loosened up). I get SOOO many dirty looks from other parents, but I always send an email to the teacher and I keep her home if she has a fever, if she has a runny nose (abnormally runny), or if the coughing is disturbing her sleep (then we know it's not her allergies because we have REALLY good filters in our house and the house is closed up tight with humidifiers at night, so there isn't any way her allergies could be bugging her then - as recommended by our doc of course).

Saying all that, I understand to a point parents bringing their kids in with a cough or something, but when the kid is obviously sick (with more than the cold - I think kids need to be exposed to some germs) they should be kept home. If a child is missing enough school because of illness to jeprodize their parent's career then maybe the kid needs to get checked out by a doc, because that seems excessive to me... (and side note, why is everyone saying it's the mother who takes time off? Can't the father too?)

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2010

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Mylene, obviously we can't shelter our children from all illnessess since most illnessess are contagious BEFORE any signs or symptoms ensue. Secondly, children get exposed to enough germs to build up their immune system as is from children being contagious before they show symptoms, from children carrying germs for the cold, flu, strep or whatever, but never actually getting sick from it, from all the surfaces that children and adults touch with their germ ridden hands without someone thinking they're doing the world (or my and my kid) a favor by trying to boost her immune system with their germs. That's what vaccines are for, and if I want to purposefully expose my child to an illness, I'll do it in the controlled setting in my doctor's office, as is the case with vaccines.

I get not everyone can take so much time off of work, or has family or friends or sitters to watch their kids...but that's why I chose to be a SAHM and didn't have kids until I could do so. I know it's not for everyone and not everyone can make that choice...but that is not my fault and my daughter's health should not have to suffer for it...nor should her time with grandma.

Lastly, I'm glad that you monitor your son, but the reason I got out of daycare after working in a center and opening my in-home was that daycare kids always seem to be bringing stuff to daycare for everyone else to potentially catch. I was merely stating my opinion on the matter, I'm sorry if you took offense to it...but it's how I feel and that's how you feel which is good enough for me personally.



*I should mention that I send my daughter, 2 hours, once a week to a playgroup in a daycare center for socialization and some momma time, so it's not like I'm just bitching about something I don't have to deal with. But, if my daughter is stuffy, runny, coughing or anything, she stays home until she's well.

Joanna - posted on 10/05/2010

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My daughter missed her 3rd and 4th days of preschool (a whole week's worth since she only goes Tuesdays and Thursdays) because she got sick her 2nd day. I was furious. I don't pay $300 a month for her to miss that much because parents can't keep their sick kids at home. I understand it's not possible for all parents to stay home with their kids when they are sick, but when they send the kids to school it's not fun for the kids, and not fair to the other kids/parents who also suffer.

Stifler's - posted on 10/05/2010

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Yeah I'll pay that too, it might not just be a common cold and it might last so much longer if you spread it to everyone and then get it back.

[deleted account]

Jodi, I think it's quite impossible to shelter our children from all illnesses. I can understand it is annoying for you to not be able to see your mother but not everyone can make the choice to stay home EVERY time the kids has a runny nose. I also think that kids need to build immune systems for which they need to be exposed to SOME germs.

If we had to keep children quarantine for every little illness they ever get, neither of us would have a job and we would be living on the street. Not everyone has family around to take care of the children.

I always monitor my son before bringing him to daycare and whenever I have any doubt that it is not just a cold, he stays home.

Stifler's - posted on 10/05/2010

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Yeh no that sucks. Common colds suck for little kids, I'd just keep my kid home and I'd be pissed if they came home from daycare with a cold because some other feral went there sick.

Ez - posted on 10/05/2010

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I'm with Mylene. If it's just a clear runny nose, then it's fine. Any green snot, fevers or productive cough and no way.

Serena - posted on 10/05/2010

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When I was working, I had actually used up all my sick days with my son leaving myself to trudge through work waiting for death or 430p so I could go home and do just that.
When I was on maternity leave or now (knock wood) I tried to keep them home as long as possible but if its minor than daycare is okay. Its probably where they got sick anyways...
I like that idea though of a sick day care. I wish we had that here.

JuLeah - posted on 10/05/2010

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I get that some parents' are desperate. I wish we had more options for parents when their kids are sick. I knew folks that started a day care for sick kids. If the parents had to work, the kids could come there for the day, rest in bed, be given meds a doc had perscribed, watch TV ..... it was great!

Jessica - posted on 10/05/2010

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If it's routine, common cold and such, then no problems here. I would actually welcome it as I would like my son's immune system to be very virulent against these illnesses when he is older. Anything stronger or potentially damaging then no.

Krista - posted on 10/05/2010

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I echo Becky in this one. If it's just a sniffle, that's one thing. If it's something more serious, then keep 'em home.

Becky - posted on 10/05/2010

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A runny nose and a bit of a cough, fine. Some kids have those all winter, but really aren't sick. The poor parents would get fired if they had to stay home for that! But, any fever, rash, upset stomach, rough breathing, etc, they definitely should keep the child home.
I hate that it seems every time I take my kids to somewhere else where there are a lot of kids, they seem to get sick. It's not really every time, they're really quite healthy, but it feels that way! so I'm very conscious of keeping my kids away from other kids if they're sick. But, our whole family gets stuffy noses all winter from the dry weather here, so if that's their only symptom, I don't keep them home.

Kimberly - posted on 10/05/2010

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I don't even think colds are acceptable. Why subject the poor other kids to feeling crappy? I know I sure feel miserable when I catch a cold. I would never purposely try to give it to someone else.

[deleted account]

Yes, a common cold. Anything that has mucus another color than clear, more than occasional coughing, any fever NO. But kids are often sick and a common cold is just routine for a lot of kids.

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