Im Potty training my 10month old

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 02/24/2011 ( 64 moms have responded )

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So im potty training my 10 month old….I started almost a week ago
So far he is doing pretty good, I have been teaching him signing since he was 4months, and so Im teaching him the one for “Toilet” but I say potty, and in a sing-song voice I say “Mikah go peepee shhhhhh,” over and over while doing the sign for it, and if he goes or not, I say happy words and ask him for a high-five (that he gives and he smiles)
I put him on about 2-4times a day.
When I told my mother about it, she said that its taking away from his childhood!!??
I was like…”OKAY,” and rolled my eyes….
I didn’t realize that not wearing diapers is taking away from one’s childhood!

I finally looked up why its thought to have “Negative” affects on children that potty train to “early”
My conclusion is that its absurd, and has to do with the adult and how they treat the child during the training.

When did you start potty training your little one(s)?
whats your view point on starting "Early"

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Danicia - posted on 09/12/2012

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I have just started training my 10 month old daughter myself and have gotten the same response (minus the older generation). It's bull that you are "stealing his childhood", you are teaching him another skill, just like encouraging him to walk, or talk, or eat on his own, or anything that allows them to meet a development milestone. America and Europe are the few societies that have their young wallow in dirty diapers until they are 2-3 years old. I think that a couple weeks old is early but i can understand why some moms start then. you are the parent, you do it your way and ignore the haters- you know what's best for you and your son!

Jerosha - posted on 03/01/2011

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I think that it is great the way that you are going about it ... I did the same thing with my daughter ... she was showing interest in what we did when we went to the toilet and so every time I went I would take her happy off and sit her on the potty infront of me ... if she did something I would praise and I would sing silly songs whilst I was removing her nappy "lets go wee wee wee wee pee pee pee pee in the potty because we are learning how to be big" etc. She was down to 1 nappy a day (just taking on and off to go potty) and then we went to stay with the inlaws for a couple of weeks and MIL went wild over her being toilet trained at such an early age and my pushing her to hard (I can still remember it "Next you'll be telling me that you are sitting her at the computer teaching her quantum maths" she went mad at Elei for wanting the potty and took it away she shut the toilet door and if she saw Elei crawling towards it would pick her up and take her outside for a walk ... of course she regressed and then when I did want to train her again at the "acceptable" age of 18mths it was harder ... she took along time to accept the overnight situation and had "number 2" issues. My advice is if it is working for you and your baby and you are just doing it because you have the time and relationship with your child that enables it GO FOR IT save the money and the hassell later it will not effect him in any way. I remember my Child health nurse at the time telling me that other cultures never use nappies and will put there babies on a potty from birth to encorage them to use it just like an adult (not sure about this but who knows). Remember it takes one person to try something new for anything to change. and as long as you and your son are having fun and arent hurting anyone then whose business is it when he trains?

Jane - posted on 02/27/2011

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I don't believe you are potty training your child. You are training YOU to know when to take your child to the potty. I don't agree that you are taking away from his childhood but most experts will say your child is not ready and won't be for another year or so. Not sure what the rush is.

[deleted account]

April, maybe it's time for a little break? When training Eliza, I started the month she turned two (actually a little before that I let her sit on the potty, but we didn't "officially" start until she was 2). I would stay at home a day or two and have her either bare bum or just with panties on. She would get frustrated by being messy and not being able to make it to the potty...so we stopped and tried again an month later. We did that four times. When she was 2 years 4 months, she was finally "getting it." By 2 years 6 months she was pretty much accident free during the day...until Christmas when she stayed with my MIL a few days who put her in pull-ups for convenience. But we are back on track now! Anyway, my point is that sometimes a break is good. There was no reason to cause both of us frustration and force the issue.

Minnie - posted on 02/24/2011

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Hahaha, Monique...when we began EC at 6 months everyone thought I was bonkers. Yeah well- I've had a dry baby to toddler at night since 7 months because of that- and despite her nursing many times a night as an infant and still at least twice a night! Ha!

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Julianne - posted on 09/17/2012

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I started potty training early because my mother kept suggesting it and I figured it would be ok. She was about 10 months when I started.I gave up when she or I became frustrated with it.Then started up again after a few weeks.She'll be 3 in december and shes still in diapers. I quit trying...she'll go when shes ready.

Heather - posted on 09/15/2012

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I started with my daughter slowly at 10 months, she wanted to sit on it like mommy did so I let her everytime she wanted to. She didn't always go but it was ok she was learning. She was completly potty trained by 18 months and I have had no problems with her. Now my sil didnt start potty training my niece or nephew till either one of the was past 3 and they are only 21 months apart and my nephew just turned 8 and he still has accidents on a weekly basis and has never been dry at night. My neice is 6 and she is dry at nights but still has accidents durning the day on a weekly basis also. So to me the earlier the better.

Sherri - posted on 09/14/2012

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So how did this work for you did your son really become 100% potty trained at 10mo's? or are you still training him? I am generally interested in an honest answer as too see what happened.

Julie - posted on 03/09/2011

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The earliest any of my children showed interest is 18 months and it took until she was 2 1/2 to be accident free. My other 4 daughters were closer to 3 and up to 3 1/2 before they were potty trained. My opinion is that it's parent training. If a child isn't physically ready to be able to sense when they have to go to the bathroom you can say all the nice words you want to, but they will have frequent accidents and you will just be frustrated. Now if you have all day to put your child on the toilet every 30 minutes to have them "try" to go potty you will see some limited success, but they are not really potty trained that way. As soon as you deviate from that, say you have a busy day or you're out and can't get to a bathroom every 30 minutes your child WILL have an accident. I have potty trained 5 daughters and am in the process of potty training the 6th. My experience has been that a child is not ready to be potty trained until they can stay dry through the night. Even then children learn pretty quickly that they don't have control over a lot of things in their life, their parents make the decisions, but 2 things they can control are their eating and going to the bathroom and they won't do it until THEY want to. I don't think there should be any negative effects caused by what you're doing as long as you're truly being positive every time, but if at some point you get frustrated because he's not doing it yet or all the time and he has accidents then it could backfire on you and he could refuse to use the toilet for a LONG time and there is nothing you can do about it. My third daughter was potty training and one day she had to go while I was on the phone with the insurance company. I waved her off and when she could hold it no longer she tried to take off her pants and diaper and go to the bathroom, but she wasn't quick enough and the poop was coming out. She tried to catch it with her hands, but of course she didn't like that and didn't know what to do with it so she wiped it all over the walls and on toys. It was everywhere and when I got off the phone and saw it I was very overwhelmed and in the stress of trying to figure out the best way to clean up the mess I angrily picked up my daughter and in a firm voice told her to stay in the tub while I cleaned up her mess until I could clean her up. She thought I was upset with her when in reality I was just stressed about the situation and afterwards she refused to go potty on the toilet for months. I finally coaxed her a week before her 3rd birthday by offering her a party at McDonalds with her friends if she was using the toilet all the time like a big girl. Diapers may seem like a pain, but when you look at how long you will be mothering your son, typically 18 years and then he's off to college, a few years in diapers is a small span of time and when you rush to make your children grow up and reach certain milestones you'll find yourself later wishing you appreciated their babyhood more and made it last as long as you could because take it from the mother of a 21 and 19 year old, they grow up in the blink of an eye and you'll be missing those diaper days.

Julie - posted on 03/09/2011

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The earliest any of my children showed interest is 18 months and it took until she was 2 1/2 to be accident free. My other 4 daughters were closer to 3 and up to 3 1/2 before they were potty trained. My opinion is that it's parent training. If a child isn't physically ready to be able to sense when they have to go to the bathroom you can say all the nice words you want to, but they will have frequent accidents and you will just be frustrated. Now if you have all day to put your child on the toilet every 30 minutes to have them "try" to go potty you will see some limited success, but they are not really potty trained that way. As soon as you deviate from that, say you have a busy day or you're out and can't get to a bathroom every 30 minutes your child WILL have an accident. I have potty trained 5 daughters and am in the process of potty training the 6th. My experience has been that a child is not ready to be potty trained until they can stay dry through the night. Even then children learn pretty quickly that they don't have control over a lot of things in their life, their parents make the decisions, but 2 things they can control are their eating and going to the bathroom and they won't do it until THEY want to. I don't think there should be any negative effects caused by what you're doing as long as you're truly being positive every time, but if at some point you get frustrated because he's not doing it yet or all the time and he has accidents then it could backfire on you and he could refuse to use the toilet for a LONG time and there is nothing you can do about it. My third daughter was potty training and one day she had to go while I was on the phone with the insurance company. I waved her off and when she could hold it no longer she tried to take off her pants and diaper and go to the bathroom, but she wasn't quick enough and the poop was coming out. She tried to catch it with her hands, but of course she didn't like that and didn't know what to do with it so she wiped it all over the walls and on toys. It was everywhere and when I got off the phone and saw it I was very overwhelmed and in the stress of trying to figure out the best way to clean up the mess I angrily picked up my daughter and in a firm voice told her to stay in the tub while I cleaned up her mess until I could clean her up. She thought I was upset with her when in reality I was just stressed about the situation and afterwards she refused to go potty on the toilet for months. I finally coaxed her a week before her 3rd birthday by offering her a party at McDonalds with her friends if she was using the toilet all the time like a big girl. Diapers may seem like a pain, but when you look at how long you will be mothering your son, typically 18 years and then he's off to college, a few years in diapers is a small span of time and when you rush to make your children grow up and reach certain milestones you'll find yourself later wishing you appreciated their babyhood more and made it last as long as you could because take it from the mother of a 21 and 19 year old, they grow up in the blink of an eye and you'll be missing those diaper days.

Tara - posted on 03/03/2011

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To me it seems to go against nature, he is not signally to you that he needs to go, you are signaling to him that he needs to go.

There is a HUGE difference, children need to be able to trust their own body to inform them of when it is in need of attention. I think it's great that you are doing it so nicely etc. but I think that ultimately he will be fully trained at the same time as he would have been otherwise.

All 5 of my oldest children were all trained night and day by 25 months. I waited until they showed an interest. They started using it when they felt the need, I praised all results, and ignored all accidents.

I offered no rewards except a hug and a "well done" the reward for them was growing up, was taking ownership of their bodily functions.

Potty training is one of the most important first steps to learning about their own autonomy and I personally feel that it should be left to a child to decide when he is ready and willing to make that step into independence.

That's just me though.

Oh and like someone else said, it took only a matter of a few days for them to make the switch full time. They "got it" so it wasn't something I had to "teach" them.

This is how I look at most aspects of teaching and parenting.

Edited to add.

If your child is ready at a young age and wants to try it out, I say go for it, again the child is signaling the parent not the other way around,

For instance Riley is 15 months and has peed on the toilet standing in front of it with his hands on his hips just like Steve does when he pees. It's so funny, so yes we have a little potty for him, it's there if he ever wants to sit on it, but that's it.

Kayla - posted on 03/03/2011

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Serenity was 18 months when we started actually trying to get her to potty in the "big girl potty" - she HATED going in the little plastic potty so we bought her a seat that sits on top of our potty instead and she loved it! She was potty trained COMPLETELY by 20 months. I hope to do the same or something close to the same with Destiny (who is now 11 months).

Kayla - posted on 03/03/2011

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Serenity was 18 months when we started actually trying to get her to potty in the "big girl potty" - she HATED going in the little plastic potty so we bought her a seat that sits on top of our potty instead and she loved it! She was potty trained COMPLETELY by 20 months. I hope to do the same or something close to the same with Destiny (who is now 11 months).

Audrey Sheppard - posted on 03/02/2011

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The only reason I wouldn't want to train a 10 month old myself is that it seems like a lot of work for the parent. I did things the *easy* way with my two children. I didn't start potty training them until they expressed interest in going. One was 2 and one was 4. I didn't have to put them on the potty, they went by themselves when they needed to go and in a matter of DAYS they were done with no accidents day or night. It seems to me that for most people who start early, the process takes months or years. But, if you and the baby are both happy with what you are doing, that is the important thing.

Rachael - posted on 03/01/2011

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so the toothbrush on the potty thing grosses me out a little, but I am a bit of a germaphobe. =) We started signing with Alexander from birth, he signed his first sign "milk" at 3 months old and has continued from there. We started putting him on the potty fairly randomly starting at about 1 year, then at 15 months we were a bit more consistant with it and he loved it, then one day decided no more. We didn't push it, but since he has learned to take dirty diapers off a few months ago we started introducing him to the potty again and this time he is in LOVE with it. we started using M&Ms for when he went in the potty, but quickly gave that up as he seems to prefer flushing the potty as his "reward" He even goes to the bathroom and says "Mommy, Potty please"

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 03/01/2011

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There is no rush, but for me this is what I want to do with MY child. My only expectation is that he will get the idea, if he is potty trained before two then that would be great, but if not, at least he will have the concept down. (im not all up tight about the times I put him on, as I stated above he is on 2-4times a day.

(Some moms don’t give their child enough credit of what they are really capable of doing, until they try. Yeah you can go with what the experts say, but some kids don’t always fit the cookie cutter mold)

In the time sense I first wrote this he has been doing really well, so well in fact that twice as im bringing him to the bath room and taking off his diaper, and say “Mikah go pee pee” he has started to go before I get him on (once on my foot and the other time on the floor), and I laugh because I know he knows what going on (as I said before I don’t truly time when he has to go, I guess), I still put him on really FAST and let him finish, he also has the expectations of being able to play with something, and I will my self use the toilet so he sees me and he is now 11months =)

Sometimes he does nothing, because I don’t really time it,and i still make him feel good about being on, Since I make this a happy, fun time for him, he has yet to be resistant on the matter.

JuLeah - posted on 03/01/2011

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:) I think the "negative affects on children that train early" come from the parents that use force and shame. I knew a father who would spank his son if the child wet himself. There are parents that go to such extreems, and yes, I think that does damage.

There are parents that are so in tune with their child, they can put them on the pot right when the child needs to go.



There are sticker charts, rewards, and the "let them train themselves" method.



All results are the same (in terms of a time line) I worked in a pre school for years, so watched many many kids walk through this phase of life.



Girls are trained at about 2.5 and boys at about 3 or 3.5. There are exceptions in both directions, but over all, it doesn't really matter much what the parents do or don't do.



Kids' can not train until they are developmentally ready - it is not about 'wanting to' - like they can't walk until they are developmentally ready .... they will train, but the time line will be theirs, even though you think it is yours.



I used the "let her train herself" method" and at about 2 and a half, she announced she wanted 'Care Bear' panites ... that was really all there was too it :) She was out of a diaper at night by the time she was 3 ish ... I don't recall now. I just know, one night she said she didn't want a diaper and never wore one again.

Stephanie - posted on 03/01/2011

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I think as long as he is willing to try it, it's fine. You just don't want to push him to do it that early, but if he's ready, run with it! It really depends on the child. Some kids are ready earlier than others. I don't think it's hurting him any if he's ready and willing to do it. Good luck!

Sue - posted on 02/28/2011

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Hi ..I dont mean to sound dumb ,but a few ppl said they wish they were talking about using the EC before the COM?? What is that?? My son is 2 and Im going to start soon..I thank you all for all these helping ways to try :)

Mary - posted on 02/28/2011

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I don't start potty training until they are actually physically able to. Children are actually not capable of controlling their bodies fully in this way until they are close to 3 years old, there is a physiological reason for this. They may recognise the signs earlier but not be able to act on it 'early' enough. It's up to you whether you start early or not, but I don't recommend that it is necessary. They are developing in so many other ways I don't see why focusing on toilet training should be a priority. All I can say is don't expect him to have it down perfectly by the time he is a year old or even 18 months and don't think you have failed if he isn't. Potty training is more to do with physiological readiness, not mental readiness.

If you are responding to his cues, it is you who is more trained than he is (for example, you get him to the toilet, don't expect him to get there on time). He might not recognise his own cues for a very long time, years even, so don't have too high expectations. Remember, he is a baby. But as long as you don't mind it, sure, go for it.

Jenni - posted on 02/27/2011

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I considered early PL elimination with my son after reading the "Baby Whisper". It sounded like a fabulous notion to have him out of diapers by 18 months. But a lot of work! I decided to wait and use CL potty training, I didn't want us to get frustrated with it.

I introduced the potty at around 18 months. My son figured it out the first time he used it. I started encouraging him to give it a try before baths. He really loved peeing on his new potty. He was still really wet all the time so I waited until he started staying a "little" more dry. Then we would have potty days, where I let him run naked or in undies at around his 2nd birthday. He had trouble telling when he needed to go and started getting frustrated with accidents. I also found myself "pressuring" him to use the potty by continuely asking him. Which of course always led to a "No!" as his response. So we took a break for a few months.

At around 28 months he started showing an interest again. He no longer wanted to put a diaper back on after I changed him in the morning. So I asked him if he wanted to wear his big boy undies again and he said yes. The first week we had many accidents but they got fewer and fewer and by the third week he was probably 95% accident free. It's been about 5 weeks now and I'd say he's still at 95% but he usually stops himself when he starts to go and runs to the potty. He still needs a diaper for his nap and at night but he's become noticably dryer during these times. He use to need to pee every 30mins but he's learned to hold it longer and now goes about once an hour. He also has been staying completely dry when we're out running errands. He still refuses to do a #2 in the potty, he's afraid? But I show him where his poopoo goes and we say "goodbye" to it when we flush. He usually waits for his naps to go but sometimes he will at least run to the washroom to do one. So it's still a work in progress.

My SD out right refused to use the potty! Then shortly after her 3rd birthday she was completely trained day and night in less than a week.

My son's buddy was afraid to pee anywhere other than in his diaper until his dog pooped on the floor and his mom responded by saying, matter-of-factly "that's ok, we'll just clean it up". She had forced him into undies and he had been holding his pee in all day. Then in the afternoon she caught him peeing like a fire hose from the top of the stairs. She cheered him on. :) And after that he was completely PT day and night over a weekend. This was after his 3rd bday.

Kate CP - posted on 02/26/2011

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I think you should start when the kid is ready and not before then. If your child is showing signs of being ready to potty train then go for it. But, if you're trying to potty train "early" because you're tired of dealing with diapers there's a 98% chance it'll backfire on ya.

[deleted account]

I think there is no harm starting early. In fact, that would make things much easier for you and the child. How is preventing your children from sitting in there own poop, taking away their childhood? Nappies are a childhood? D:

Well anyway, all children are different and if your son is responding well to doing it now, then there is no problem doing it now. My girl is nearly 2 and she hates potty training and runs away from me. So you are lucky lol. All children have their own pace I think!

Erin - posted on 02/26/2011

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April, you definitely need a break! If you turn it into a battle of wills, you will lose every time. That's what I was worried about with Milla. She is a stubborn little minx, so even though I knew she was ready and fully understood, I still had concerns that she would pick up on the control she had over the situation and resist. To combat that, I just had to work super hard at remaining calm, casual and upbeat at all times.

As long as you keep talking about the potty and follow his cues, taking a break will certainly not impede the process. He is still quite young. And if he is as strong-willed as you say he is, he will realise how frustrated you are with it and dig his heels in even more.

[deleted account]

April, does he have any friends/cousins/someone that is potty training? The biggest reason my son wanted to poop on the potty at 15 months was cuz we spent most of our time at his cousin's house (11 months older) and HE was potty training. We also have an 'open door' policy, so he was around it everytime his sisters or ! were going.



After his first pooping experience I bought him a little potty chair and he would sit on it whenever he was naked (didn't do anything most of the time). We made a big deal about it when he went and said nothing when he didn't. If he didn't initiate the potty interest, I would ask him periodically (not more than once every few days for the first several months though) if he wanted to use the potty, but he only went if he wanted to. If he didn't.... I didn't mention it. He also had a 'sticker chart' after a while which was just a sheet of paper that he could put stickers on. One for pee, two for poop. When the chart was full.... he was allowed to give it to anyone he wanted. THAT was his 'prize'. (We also used the chart for sleeping through the night w/out nursing)



He never wanted to wear underwear, so we never dealt w/ any accidents or pressure. Near the end of his potty training process there were days/nights that he was 100% clean and dry and days that he didn't use the potty even once. In the very last couple of weeks he had been totally clean and dry for 3 days/nights and then went and hid in my room to poop in his diaper. I was thinking 'what the heck?', but never made a big deal out if it to him.



The hardest part for us has been/is getting him out of the diapers though. He was fully potty trained for a month before he would wear a pair of underwear. I've put more 'pressure' on him for that than for any part of the using the potty cuz I REFUSE to buy diapers for a fully potty trained kid. He still wears them at night and is resistant to wearing underwear in the morning quite frequently, but we manage to get them on him w/out TOO much complaint. He's got about 5 diapers left in the house, so ask me again when I finally throw away the last one..... ;) Of course, he DOES have a couple of partial packs of pull ups that he's been given from other people. I haven't gotten rid of those since they are my 'fall back', but he won't wear them either.

Bonnie - posted on 02/26/2011

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When my older son was pushing 3 and still wasn't toilet trained, when the warming weather came, I kept the potty near him and let him go naked from the waist down. I found that really helped. Wearing a diaper was too much of a comfort to him and if he was already wet he wasn't realising when he was wet again anyway.

Amy - posted on 02/26/2011

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still say I wish I started my son a bit earlier. He's now almost 2 and is scared of the toilet. He has seen big sis go because she keep forgetting to shut the door. Daddy asked if wanted to try and he runs away and cries. His sister was on the toilet at 18 months and thought it was so fun. Not sure what to do about my kiddo. I think I will get a potty that looks fun and let him know it's there if he wants to try it. But really, if they are just never interested, what do we do, keep them in diapers forever? Has to start some time. ?? If kid's happy, let em go! :)

Minnie - posted on 02/26/2011

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It definitely can be concerning- I remember feeling that way to when we were trying to potty train Evelyn.

I suspect the difference between the children you know and Zach is that even if you let things progress gradually at his own pace you will still be actively talking about the bathroom, how you feel when you need to use it, allowing him to watch you- whereas these children's parents probably took no interest in teaching.

Teaching doesn't have to mean forcing- you can teach him about the process and his natural desire to learn and grow will lead him to get to the point where he doesn't want diapers and wants to sit on the potty like you.

April - posted on 02/26/2011

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YES...lol. I am worried that he will be 5 or 6, only because I've seen it more often than I've ever expected to (and these children did not have special needs). He really is very opinionated for a little boy, and, once he has got his mind set...good luck! That being said, I need a break from all of this potty learning stuff. When he does sit on the pot, he says Mommy is happy. That's NOT what I want him to learn! I am leaning towards waiting until JUNE to try again because he'll be 2 1/2 then.

Minnie - posted on 02/26/2011

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Are you afraid that he will be in diapers at five or six?



Letting him go at his own pace means not forcing the issue. There's nothing wrong with asking him if he needs to go, if he says no, let it slide. Don't force the underwear, or for him to sit on the potty.



Letting him follow you into the bathroom as you use it helps, as does talking about what you're doing, announcing when you have to go and what makes you feel like you have to go and such, will all help him become more aware of his own bodily functions.



He's not yet 2 1/2. He'll get there. My first was not potty independent until 3 1/2. We worried and worried that she couldn't recognize her need to go, and made little piddles everywhere because she wouldn't sit on the pot long enough to finish and then it just happened overnight.

April - posted on 02/26/2011

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what does letting them do it at their pace mean? does it mean waiting for them to ask to use the potty? does it mean asking them everyday if they want to go on the potty? i have always been warned that waiting too long is just as bad as starting them too soon?

[deleted account]

April, don't feel too bad that he doesn't want to wear underwear. My son was completely trained for about a month before I was able to convince him to wear underwear for PART of the day. He still insists on a diaper at night instead of his underwear and I'm not looking forward to the day (actually night) that we no longer have any more diapers. I'm making these last few last as LONG as I can (they're always completely dry)..... ;)

Based solely on my personal experience potty training 3 kids..... the best is letting them do it completely at their pace. It was a million times less stressful and had better, faster results.

[deleted account]

Lol...I like the complex theory.



It is very exciting that he sat on the toilet 7 times! Maybe he hasn't made the mind/body connection yet. That was our biggest problem. She knew that her pee was supposed to be in the potty, but didn't realize that she had to go...until she was already going!



Now we're dealing with her learning to completely empty her bladder...she will literally go 3 times in 10 minutes because she's not going all the way. At least it's on the potty though.



I'm not going to husband bash, but yes, I know where you are coming from with that! See if you can get him to discuss the issues away from your son. Your son doesn't need to hear either of your frustrations as it will likely frustrate him. One of the hardest things for my husband (and it sounds like a general consensus) was learning patience and that teaching a child anything is a process. They don't come out of the womb knowing everything. Once they hit a certain age they won't magically be able to do something. Just keep gently reminding your husband that your son is still young and requires patience.

April - posted on 02/25/2011

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Why do men get so anxious when their little ones are toilet training? Is it because boys generally train later than girls and they've got some sort of complex over it?

Minnie - posted on 02/25/2011

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:( Becoming potty independent isn't supposed to be stressful for little ones.

It sounds like your husband has some growing to do- Zach is his first and it seems like he has unrealistic expectations.

I remember when we were potty training our first- we sort of just hacked away at the process, lol, not really knowing how to go about it or that we could simply -let things alone- and she would eventually get there herself. I remember feeling so hurt for her when she peed on the floor and my husband told her she was wrong for it. *sigh* He's grown up a lot though and has totally loosened up.

April - posted on 02/25/2011

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@ Lisa and Sara We did take a break (but only a week!) I guess I didn't give us a long enough of a break. Maybe I should try again in another 4 weeks. He started sitting on it this morning (7 times!), not really trying to pee or poo. I gave him a sticker every time he sat on it. Then, my husband came into the room and said, "why are you rewarding him? he didn't DO anything in the potty." Then he turned to our son and told him he couldn't have a sticker until after he either peed or pooed on the potty! Omg...that was more frustrating to me than Zach not wanting to use the potty!!!

PS he will run around without a diaper on it, but refuses to wear underwear. We have hardwood floors but my husband gets mad when Zach makes a mess on the floor. That's def my biggest frustration because I feel that I'm the SAHM so it's my job to toilet train. When my husband gets mad, I feel like he is going to undo any progress Zach is making. I sort of feel like it would be like going to his work and telling him he's doing it wrong. Grr. Sorry for the rant! carry on ladies....

Erin - posted on 02/25/2011

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Yeah take a break April. If you genuinely don't believe he can hold it, and he is showing so much resistance to sitting on the potty, he isn't quite there yet.

I will echo the 'bare bum' theory too. I started giving Milla a couple of hours every day (circumstances permitting) with no nappy when she was around 21mths. Yes, there were accidents in the beginning, but it gave me a good indication as to what her natural habits were (ie, how long between going). That's how I knew she was ready - because she would literally go 2hrs in between.

Minnie - posted on 02/25/2011

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I know you're worried about his skin with the disposables- that's got to be so frustrating when you want him out of them but he's so used to it. He'll get there.

Will he run around without a diaper or undies? I know that's really hard if you don't have floors that are easy to clean up.

Minnie - posted on 02/25/2011

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It just irks me because there is plenty of time to make it when he's about to go poo, but he just doesn't want to

With my experience of EC this was a definite indication that a break was needed. When my daughter began fighting sitting on the potty and when I began getting frustrated that she didn't want to. We went back to diapers with no pottying for about a month and then got back into the swing of things.

I definitely agree with Sara.

April - posted on 02/25/2011

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@ Erin He won't sit on it. He will take it apart and put the seat on his head and say, "It's a hat". He knows what to do, but I think he can't hold it yet. Poop...I think he can hold long enough to make it to the potty, but I'm pretty sure he can't hold the pee. It just irks me because there is plenty of time to make it when he's about to go poo, but he just doesn't want to. He won't wear underwear either. He threw a fit when I tried to put a pair on yesterday. If he would just sit, even with all of his clothes on, I would feel like we're getting somewhere! I am trying hard not to look upset because I don't want him to do it for me. I want him to do it for himself.

Sal - posted on 02/25/2011

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when my 2 1/2 yr old told me "i will not be toilet trained, not ever!" i decided it was time if she can articulate that sentence she know whats going on, all 3 i have trained at the start of summer so they can run around outside with out pants, i swear they don;t get it until pee runs down their leg a few time....

Minnie - posted on 02/24/2011

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April- things that helped me with Adelaide were to initially keep her diaper-free for a day and sort of take note of what her rhythm was- when she typically went, how often. Then I began taking her to the potty as soon as she woke from a nap or right in the morning. She never has been a big signaler of when she has to go- I had best success reading her cues when she was in-arms- she would get fussy, or start wiggling her hips. Once out of arms, I've relied on timing mostly, now I can ask her if she needs to go and she'll tell me if she does or not, or take herself without being asked.

Bonnie - posted on 02/24/2011

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My 2.5 year old will only sit for a minute, two max, but never enough time to actually produce anything. He is always in hurry; he is going to miss out on something lol.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 02/24/2011

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and my sister came over the other day, and was in the bathroom with Mikah and me, she seen our "Routine" and said "You need to post pictures, no one will believe you,"...lol



and my mother thought i had some kind of strap to hold him in place Because normally he won’t sit still to long, what baby does (he doesn’t have a strap, and doesn’t try to get a way…but)



Tonight he went forward on his hands and decided he was done (even though he didn’t go pee) and crawled toward me, because I was getting his bath water ready….LOL

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 02/24/2011

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I think the only way to know that you are forcing a baby that cant talk…is when they cry, when placed on the potty…or start to scream when they realize where they are going.

But yeah, only negative memories will come when a child is forced to do something they don’t want (if old enough to remember)…whether its in their best interest or not.

Being that he is still young I don’t get any cue’s from him….for me I just put him on when he gets up from his two naps, and when he first wakes up in the morning….im sure he will start to let me know he has to go, or wants to go, even if he cant speak clearly…he will know the Sign for “Potty”



Oh and I let him play with my tooth brush while he sits there...lol…we sit for a good 1-2min

Bonnie - posted on 02/24/2011

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For those of you who are able to start potty training or fully potty train before 18 months, I commend you. I don't believe in forcing, like some parents I know or asking the kid every 15 minutes if they have to go, but if you have a willing child, why not. My boys are stubborn.

Meghan - posted on 02/24/2011

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J has been "ready" since a year but I didn't actually start encouraging it until about 15 months. He did really well, then some set backs, and now at 27 months when he is home with me all day he doesn't wear a diaper except nap/bed time. The hard thing for him is he has daycare and occasionally his fathers house. I don't know how much attention and support he is getting at the other two places so I don't push him. I am sure he will figure it out one day and just be done with diapers- just like nursing, bottles and every other "baby" thing he has outgrown.
I think some kids can get it sooner than 2-3 and some kids can't. I just know my son's personality and if I were to push him, he would rebel big time!

Erin - posted on 02/24/2011

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Where are you up to with it April? Does he get the connection between elimination and potty but just can't hold it? Or is he just completely disinterested?

April - posted on 02/24/2011

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as long as he is interested, I say go for it. i am trying to potty train my 2 year old and it is not going that well. i am wondering if I should have introduced it when he was much younger or at least TRIED EC. It turns out that I am terrible at responding to cues quick enough. Maybe if I had the practice from ECing, I'd be good at it by now? I dunno, but I am frustrated!

Stifler's - posted on 02/24/2011

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I think my 13 month old is a bit too interested in the toilet and I'm thinking of getting a potty and putting him on there after breakfast because he's wet when he wakes up... I change him... he poos. Everyday. He might aswell have a go on the potty. He peed out the door the other day when I let him have no nappy on. I don't see the big deal. But I don't believe in forcing them at that age, only if they're interested.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 02/24/2011

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With my oldest son who is 8
I started when he was 1 ½ years old…and he was able to voice that he wanted to get on the potty like me, and wear “Big Boy” underwear.

I used the bathroom at night, and I would get him up when I got up and that is one of the reasons he was fully potty trained by 2years old.

Katherine - posted on 02/24/2011

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I totally believe in self led elimination communication. Although I guess my daughter didn't start telling me until about 2 months ago (21 months). So when she says "potty" I take her. I ask her once and if she tells me no, I leave it at that. I had never heard of EC before CoM, let alone doing it at 6 months and I thought it was nuts!
Now I see how it works and that it does work and if I ever have another I will definitely do it earlier.

But right now if my daughter wants to go, she goes, if not I don't force her. It's hard too, because when she's with my mom, my mom will try to force her and I nearly have to rip her head off. She just doesn't get it!!!

[deleted account]

Oh wait.... I think he's been potty trained for about 3 months now. Time keeps getting away from me. ;)

[deleted account]

I started 'potty training' the girls (just by putting them on the toilet before shower time.... if they wanted) around 16-18 months. We were admittedly a bit lazy about it, but before 2 they would have 100% success if naked and maybe 50% (w/ pee, at least, poop was still 100% unless too sick) success w/ any type of bottoms on. So.... they were naked a lot at home and in pull ups to sleep or leave the house. We stopped using daytime pull ups about 2-3 months before their 3rd birthday and night time pull ups around 4.5

I didn't potty train my son. The first time he pooped in the potty he was 15 months old. I left the entire process up to him... only offering encouragement and assistance as needed. He's been completely clean and dry, day and night for about 2 months now and turns 3 in almost exactly a month.

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2011

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I think that's great! The sooner out of diapers the better, IMO. :) My son is 17 months old & is no where near being potty trained. I decided that when my son turns 18 months we are going to start introducing him to the potty/watch for cues. I hope it goes well for you! :)

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