Is child obesity child abuse ??

Charlie - posted on 09/13/2009 ( 88 moms have responded )

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Is deliberately feeding your child in a manner that will eventually cause health deterioration and obesity neglectful? Abusive? Or, is it simply less-than desirable choices and part and parcel of our super-sized society?

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Amie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Lisa, your biases are showing.....



I too have and had obese family members. They ate healthy, they went to the gym, they have self control.. they're still obese. Does that make them lazy? Does that mean they don't have willpower?



Do not lump all people into the same category, it's rude and discriminatory.

[deleted account]

Wow Lisa....I can understand what you're trying to say but the way you've presented it makes it seem like ANYONE who buys any junk food should be ashamed. Didn't you say "And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you."? I think that's what's got so many in an uproar on this thread. I personally don't think that you are completely wrong on some of your points....but your delivery could use some fine tuning, IMHO. Just wanted to point that out....I'm not speaking for everyone else, just me. And before you say it, no one's asking you to sugar coat your words or to tone down your opinion. I appreciate a strong opinionated person. But shaming a person doesn't get positive results. Ever.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/14/2009

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I think this is a very complicated issue. First, I want to confess that I have some major issues with obesity and obese people and the obese track some people set their kids on. However, I also have a lot of compassion for it. I believe that for many people (and I am quite aware that there can be physiological reasons and genetic predispositions at work here) overeating and gaining weight is a way of hiding away from the world, putting protective layers between themselves and society. The problem with compulsive eating, unlike alcohol and drugs, is that you cannot just stop eating - you have to change what, when, why and how you eat and totally rethink it. With children who start out in life with obesity issues, it is that much harder to change later in life. If you grow up in an obese family, you're all eating fatty, processed and sugary foods, participating in sedentary activities like watching tv and playing video games, and this is your life and these are your role models, you grow up thinking "this is just the way I am meant to be". That is going to be tough to change - it's like a life sentence (and probably a short, sickly one). This summer on our camping trip, we met a family that was all very overweight - mom, dad and 2 girls. But it looked to me like they were all trying to make some changes - they were all bike riding everywhere, swimming and being active. Yes, they shot my skinny butt dirty looks, but my point is they were trying, as a family, to do things differently. Is it abusive? I think it can be, but I think it is also hard to change a lifetime of bad habits. I think the onus is on the parents, and the earlier they start, the better. I think we have to realize that not everyone is going to be a size 2, and healthy comes in all different sizes and shapes, but if parents don't show their kids what healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle is, and that their bodies deserve to be treated with respect, who is?

Kylie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Lisa, I think we better put you in a fat suit for a few days and let you see how it feel to walk in an obese persons shoes. I don't like seeing huge people with their trolleys full of coke and chips and dip but I'm not going to be rude about it. I do agree that ideally they should be taking responsibility for themselves and teaching their children about nutrition and setting them up to be successful at life but I wouldn't want to be in their position. It must be really hard to be a obese person, i think i would feel hopeless if i had 50 -100 kgs to loose and everywhere I went people stared and whispered. Think of fat bastard..i eat because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because i eat...that's a pretty shitty cycle to be in.

Amie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Amie:

Lisa, your biases are showing.....

I too have and had obese family members. They ate healthy, they went to the gym, they have self control.. they're still obese. Does that make them lazy? Does that mean they don't have willpower?

Do not lump all people into the same category, it's rude and discriminatory.






I realize I was a little harsh but I stand by my argument - people who go to the gym and eat healthy and have self control do not become obese - they do these things AFTER they have become obese.  Overweight is one thing, obesity and morbid obesity are another thing.  I just think we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard and teach our kids to expect more from themselves - I think there is far too much sitting around blaming whatever and having a victim mentality and not enough getting up and taking charge of ourselves and our own lives.  Look around you - look at the sheer numbers of people and children who are OBESE.  This is not normal.  This is not "fat genes".  This is a mind set, and I'm sorry to be the mean, rude, skinny butt bitch, but I am not going to let my kids walk down that road.  And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.





I will be sure to let my mother know that after giving birth to 4 children (even though she went to the gym, ate a balanced diet and has more self control than most when it comes to junk food) it's all her fault for gaining weight and staying that way.



I will also be sure to tell my best friend with thyroid issues that it's all her fault since she didn't try hard enough. Dammit that one chocolate bar a week is really pushing it girl! I heard it from some mom online.



I will also tell my uncle with diabetes that oh nope... you're over weight because you eat a healthy diet, exercise and try to maintain your diabetes.



Get a grip Lisa. Not everyone fits into one category of how all people should be.



Children are one thing but adults are another. You can not compare the two. In SOME CASES it is poor choices, in SOME CASES it is genetics and disease.



 



Oh and BTW my kids will continue to get their doses of junk food. I have a 4'10" 9 year old who weighs 60 lbs. I have a 3'11" 5 year old who weighs 45 lbs. I have a 3'2" 2 year old who weighs 32 lbs. My kids are healthy, active and eat a BALANCED DIET. So don't  try to shame me  just because I buy them junk food as a treat from time to time.

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Jenn - posted on 10/21/2010

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Also, someone mentioned no grocery stores in Detroit. What!?! How come I did a search and found some? And when people say they've tried everything and can't lose weight - they are lying. My Mum is obese and will be the first to tell you she eats. She hides it. Just because you hide it and lie to yourself doesn't mean it isn't true. People who are obese stay that way because they consume too many calories - be it in the form of junk or healthy food. Too many calories = excess weight. Plain and simple.

Sara - posted on 10/21/2010

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While we appreciate opinions, this thread is over a year old so I'm going to lock it to make room for more recent conversations. Thanks Ladies!

Sara B.
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Jenn - posted on 10/21/2010

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I think it is neglectful. You are neglecting to teach them healthy eating habits and about being active. My Mum was obese from the age of 2 and has never been anything but since. She obviously knows that at this point it's her own choices that keep her obese, but as a child it wasn't her fault seeing as she wasn't the one providing the food - it was her parents - and they set her up for a life time of health problems. And as for someone saying that not everyone is capable of getting that big (in reference to the 500 pound kid), yes they most certainly ARE capable of being that size. Eat enough calories and don't exercise and anyone can be obese - genetics have nothing to do with what you put in your mouth.

Ava - posted on 10/20/2010

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It's neglectful and abusive and yes, I think that within reason they should have their children removed from their custody-- obviously not children who are slightly overweight, but kids who are morbidly obese are obviously not having their health looked after.

Jodi - posted on 09/17/2009

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I haven't read every post on this thread, but I do personally believe it is a combination of genetics and eating habits. I know for a fact my entire family has a genetically high metabolism. It has only been in the last couple of years that I have ever been more than underweight, and all of a sudden I can't just eat whatever I want. But that is ok, because I was taught healthy eating habits as a child, so I don't really have an issue (but I am NOT giving up my caramel TIm Tams with my late night cuppa, LOL).



However, on the other side, my husband struggles with his weight, as does his entire family. He eats pretty much the same meals as I do. We have to be more careful about his portion control and also to increase his exercise. If he gets busy with work and can't find the time for his regular exercise, he stacks on the weight. If I do the same, my weight barely changes.



As parents, our job is to help our children make healthy choices. In our home, you will never find white breads (always wholegrain) or frozen dinners. We do have 'special treats'. But my kids are NEVER allowed to just help themselves to food when they are hungry. I always keep a good selection of fruit and vegetables. We have rules about snacking (no, you cannot have something to eat between 4:30pm and dinner time, if you do not eat your dinner, you don't get a treat, you do not walk out that door until you eat your breakfast). I know I can't control what my kids eat when I am not there, but I do have great faith in the fact that if you teach your children healthy eating habits early in life, it makes it much easier for them to control their weight when they are older.



Exercise is another one. So many kids these days sit on their backsides in front of a TV or game console. I was reading a post earlier today and realised there are people out their buying their 3 or 4 year olds game consoles, TVs, computers, you name it. WHY? They really don't need it. My son got his Nintendo DS when he was about 9. Before that, the first time he used a Playstation was when he was 5. Instead, on a nice day, I will not allow my kids to play games or watch TV. Get outside and kick a ball or play a bit of cricket or football, or something!! (Great source of Vitamin D too folks!!). Involving kids in team sports is not only healthy for them physically but emotionally too.



Sorry, I could carry on with this one forever. But basically, yes, as parents, allowing your child at only 14 to become 550lb is absolute abuse. Genetics can only explain so much. The rest of it is up to the parents to manage. Do some parents not know how to say "no" to their kids? Because it is my bet that this is what this has been about. My kids ask me for junk, I say no, they can carry on all they like, they know that NO means NO. Sure, I might be a 'mean mum' but one day they will thank me. And I do let them have treats, I just have control over how often and when. What sort of favours are parents who won't say no doing for their kids anyway?



And all this bull about it being cheaper to buy junkie take away dinners than to cook a fresh healthy meal? What crap. For my family, I can cook a healthy meal with meat and 5 veggies for less than $20. A night with some KFC or even just out local Chinese will cost us anywhere between $40 and $50. Even the cheapest pizza will cost us $35 for our meal.

Jeannette - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Jo:




Quoting Lisa: And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.







It is very naughty of you to think that just because some kids get chips and soda and some chocolate treats here and there means that they will be fat.








A BALANCED LIFESTYLE DOES WONDERS.










Okay you ninnies.  I am not talking about a few treats here and there and I am not talking about people who are heavy or big boned or whatever.  As you are so fond of saying Jo, go back and read my posts.  I am talking about OBESITY and MORBID OBESITY.  Folks who can barely move without breathing heavily and fill their carts full of cheetoes and oreos.  And then, as the premise of this thread was about starting children on this obesity cycle, the tendancy to pass these habits on to ones children.  I know that hormones do all kinds of things to peoples' bodies and I know, for women in particular, as they age, the weight tends to congregate to certain areas, as it does with some men.  I am not talking about people who for the most part, lead balanced lifestyles.  I am talking about people who sit on their duffs for 10+ years eating pizza, fried chicken and ding dongs and then say it's genetic.  So I don't want to hear anymore sob stories, save it for Oprah.   It might be easy to jump all over me for this, but I stated from the get-go that I have issues with fat people and they're everywhere!  There is something very wrong with our society and I think alot of it has to do with the absolute refusal of people to take responsibility for their own actions.  Oh, boo-hoo, cry me a river, just dance around a bit while you do it :P





Lisa, 50lbs overweight is considered morbidly obese...I gained almost 50 pounds with every single pregnancy, and I was extremely active with the first one.  I just had a hard time at the end of each and every one.



My husband, is 50 lbs overweight, he is morbidly obese.  After work, if I get off before him, I'll say, "do you want a drink from Sonic?" (they have 1/2 price drinks from 2-4) and he will say no.  I run to Sonic, get me a diet coke OR a shake.  I eat more junk than him, and he is more active than me. 



I am not entirely lazy...I have   a physical job, clean, cook, walk Walmart for what seems like hours...if I want to lose weight all I have to do is pilates stretches every night before I go to bed.  I don't change anything else about my diet.



If he wants to lose weight, he has to change his diet and exercise MORE than he is now.



I understand you are saying that people don't try to lose weight until they've already packed on the pounds, but sometimes gaining 5 to 10 at a time...is easy to live with.  It is a gradual increase..it doesn't happen overnight.



I would like to know, do you want people to lose weight because they're fat or unhealthy?  Because my skinny little daughter is probably unhealthy.  Her diet away from home (school, friends houses, grandmas) is probably something that would make me barf.  She is forced to eat healthy at home though.



 

Jinglebones - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Konda:

Lisa, let me tell you what a food addict is.....just as a anorexia hides exercise and vomiting, and a bulimic hides food, so does a food addict. When I was at my sickest(with depression, OCD, psychosis) I was seriously addicted to food. I would go to a drive-in, Burger King whatever, and order TWO value meals, and order two of everything so they would think I was ordering for two....then head to McDonald's and do the same. I'd hide food and hide where I ate. There are food addictions and just like I said before and Sarah said, food addiction is much harder to stop than drugs or alcohol....you get the same 'high' from food, it has been proven in studies, but unlike drugs, you cant stop eating altogether, so it is not as easy.



I'm sorry if people mistook my comments.  I know that food issues, whatever they may be, are not just a matter of stopping this behaviour and doing that behaviour.  My best friend in the whole world, a woman I absolutely adore and lived with TWICE (don't ask...) was bulimic for 14 years, and, yes, during the two times I lived with her.  And trust me, I know all about the hidden demons lurking (I'm pretty sure their the ones that hocked my camera and jewellry and stole my money and food).  I have great compassion for people who struggle with this issue, honestly, I do.  But I also have great frustration.  I am going to try and explain my frustration without ticking anyone off, but I realize that is probably a redundant activity, so here goes:



- EVERYONE has pain and everyone struggles in this world;



- everyone has different coping mechanisms and abilities, but no one has the right to infringe on other people's well-being;



- just because you are the squeaky wheel, does not make you more deserving of grease;



- just because a person looks like they have it all together - fit, accomplished, confident-looking, etc - does not mean the world has been an easy road for them to travel through - it's not easy for anyone, but some people do a better job of taking care of themselves and dealing with their crap and NOT infringing on the rights of others for a peaceful existence;



- we all have our battles, we all have our crosses to bear, not one of us gets through this life without some trials and tribulations - these are not excuses for treating yourself like crap.  YOU are doing this to yourself.  YOU can stop it.  Yes, you're going to need a lot of help, but YOU have the ability.  Isn't that a powerful message?  That you have the power to change by changing the way you think.  That is the only difference between people - the way in which they think.  Oh, yes, we have different ways of metabolizing and all that jazz, but do you think that if I had sat around eating fried, fatty, sugary food for the past 20 years, that I would look any different?  Of course I would!!  I would be fat, probably obese.  But I think differently - I remember going through a difficult time as a teen and thinking "No one is going to help me.  Everyone treats me like a doormat.  Then I better help myself, take care of myself and treat myself well."  And I do.  I deserve it.  And so do you.



That's all I have to say on this subject.  I said it from the beginning of this thread and I think it is pretty obvious by this point - I have major issues with fat.  Best not to get me going :)

Sara - posted on 09/17/2009

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I'm not disagreeing with you, you're speaking truth. But I stand by what I said.

Krista - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Sara:

I just don't think it's that simple...that's all I'm saying.


It's as simple as this.  Junk food tastes better.  So they eat more of it.  They're so non-accustomed to GOOD food that when it's put in their faces, their taste buds are so ruined by crap that they can't see that the good stuff actually TASTES good.  I like junk food.  Don't get me wrong, but as an adult, I know that I can't eat just that.

Krista - posted on 09/17/2009

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Quoting Sara:

How much do the parents weigh? That would be my first question. I mean, my first instinct is to say that yes, it is neglectful to let a child get that large, but if the parents are that way then that is probably why...they don't know any other way...not an excuse, but how are you supposed to teach your child healthy eating habits if you don't know any? It's sad when people get that large, because at that point it's not about the food, it's about something deeper...


I don't agree with this.  EVERYONE knows healthy eating habits.  EVERYONE knows that you need veggies and that not all your crap can be fried or take out.  Sure, you may be okay with being fat, but for God sakes, once you bring a child into the world you need to give your goddamn head a shake and realize that maybe HE or SHE doesn't WANT to be fat.  I don't care if you're 700 lbs when you have a child and if you eat all the fried crap that you want, but don't be feeding your child that shit.  It IS abuse.

Konda - posted on 09/16/2009

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Lisa, let me tell you what a food addict is.....just as a anorexia hides exercise and vomiting, and a bulimic hides food, so does a food addict. When I was at my sickest(with depression, OCD, psychosis) I was seriously addicted to food. I would go to a drive-in, Burger King whatever, and order TWO value meals, and order two of everything so they would think I was ordering for two....then head to McDonald's and do the same. I'd hide food and hide where I ate. There are food addictions and just like I said before and Sarah said, food addiction is much harder to stop than drugs or alcohol....you get the same 'high' from food, it has been proven in studies, but unlike drugs, you cant stop eating altogether, so it is not as easy.

Charlie - posted on 09/16/2009

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nothing screams heart attack on a plate like a deep fried mars bar !

Joyce - posted on 09/16/2009

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It depends on how old a child is. If we are talking about very young children, yes because you control what they can eat, lets face it who ever buys the groceries for young children can always buy foods that are healthy and good for them

?? - posted on 09/16/2009

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REAL POUTINE!!! Oh man how love real poutine! Luckily I found a man who KNOWS what real poutine is and makes it better than ANYWHERE I tried when I was in Montreal!!!!!! I know, I was shocked too lol

Jinglebones - posted on 09/16/2009

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REAL poutine is the french canadian gift to the cholesterol gods - real fries (not the frozen kind, the kind you get from a Casse Croute or Chip Wagon), with real cheese curds (the kind that squeak when you bite into them) and gravy - a nice big greasy mess that is unbelievably good. Once a year I indulge - which shows considerable constraint given that this dish can be found on every street corner where I live... Okay, maybe twice a year...

Sara - posted on 09/16/2009

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I've never heard it called poutine, but when I went to visit a friend in New Jersey, they called them "Disco Fries"...never tried it, sounds kind of gross to me!

?? - posted on 09/16/2009

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Oh man lol fries with cheese and gravy = poutine. It's a heart attack on a plate and it's disgustingly delicious *drools* Thanks Lisa now I want poutine too lol

Jinglebones - posted on 09/16/2009

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Well, just so you all know that Karma is alive and well, after all that lecturing about fatty crap food, I had a wicked craving for poutine today...:P

Lindsay - posted on 09/16/2009

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I think a lot of people have issues with portion control. There's so much information out there about infant and toddler portions and adult portions but I think people are left to guess at appropriate portions for children. I think many people serve children adult portions and they adjust and eat it, therefore becoming overweight. That's my theory anyway! =)

[deleted account]

I'm from a obese family myself. My parents and I are not overweight, but all my extended family have weight problems. I don't think it helps to say rude things to people who have this problem, but I do agree with some of the points made. Two of my cousins have always been very overwieght and were bullied at school for it. I think their situation does amount to child abuse, but it has resulted from ignorence rather than bad parenting.

I agree with Lisa when she says that fat people are everywhere. It does seem to be a growing problem in western countries. Everytime I travel back to the UK it looks like they are not far behind the US with their obesity problem.

I don't know what the solution is, but it wouldn't hurt to send parents of overweight children to some kind of nutrition class. This would need a lot of funding here in the USA to help everyone that needs it. I think Mary Elizabeth made a good point about some people not having access to healthy food. Perhaps this is one of the first things that needs to be changed.

?? - posted on 09/15/2009

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mmm fruit leather - when I put a snack in my purse to bring along with me - 9 times out of 10 it's fruit leather or dried fruit in a ziplock bag. On an icky note - I was cleaning out my wallet the other day and I found a piece of fruit leather wrapped in cling wrap that I had hid in my wallet for a snack when I was pregnant lol it looked and felt as hard as a rock but it still smelled yummmmmm

Johnny - posted on 09/15/2009

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I am overweight. Getting close to the border of obesity, but definitely not morbidly obese.

I never eat junk food. My idea of a guilty pleasure is fruit leather. I exercise everyday. I have a pedometer and walk a minimum of 10,000 steps each day. I too dance when I do my housework, chase my cats around the house, run up and down the stairs all day. I swim twice a week and go to the gym every Sunday.

But I'm still too fat. I gained weight as I aged. When I was a kid, I was super skinny, but ever since puberty, every year, a few more pounds. It's never mattered how much I exercised, always the slow gain. Some years I've been really good, making it to the gym 5 days a week and running too. Some years, not so great. No matter, always the same gain.

My husband eats junk all the time. Pizza, fast food, pop, chips. He's very slender. He exercises occasionally. But not nearly as much as I do.

But he'll probably end up with more health problems, heart problems, type 2 diabetes, etc. It's not really about weight, it's about health. I know despite having extra pounds that I am healthier than many of my skinny friends. I eat more carefully and exercise more. It really doesn't matter (except to my desire to look sexier) that I weigh more. I know I'm healthy.

In a way I agree with Lisa, so many of us make excuses about our weight or health, when there are simple things that we can do about it. I do not believe having junk food in our lives is about balance. To me that is just an excuse to eat what you don't need. Sweets now and then at a special occasion, sure. But I know my daughter doesn't need them, doesn't know about them, and doesn't care that she's not getting it. And when she learns about junk food from friends, I will focus on teaching her healthy eating habits as much as I possibly can. She may get my metabolism, she may get her father's, but either way I want her to be as healthy as possible. I owe that to her.

?? - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Lisa:


Quoting Jo:


Quoting Lisa: And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.


It is very naughty of you to think that just because some kids get chips and soda and some chocolate treats here and there means that they will be fat.



A BALANCED LIFESTYLE DOES WONDERS.





Okay you ninnies.  I am not talking about a few treats here and there and I am not talking about people who are heavy or big boned or whatever.  As you are so fond of saying Jo, go back and read my posts. 







Okay, you "ninnie" (I haven't heard that word in ages LOL) I read your posts before I replied and I read you saying the exact same thing I said, before you did. Perhaps, as I am so fond of saying, you should go back and read my posts :P



And when you say, as Joy pointed out, "And for those of you who are buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you" you probably should have been more specific to say the obese and morbidly obese, not just those people who buy the junk.



In my post, I addressed you to present the point that just because one family was fed junk and ended up with the majority of your family being obese it doesn't mean another family would end up the same - as mine turned out the opposite of yours. And I said that on the back of your statement - "And for those of you who are buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you" - to say that it's not that cut and dry and it is regrettable to see you making such a vague, insulting and pointless statement.





I woud also like to emphasize that I agree on the point that there are not enough people taking responsibility for their own weight. There are too many resources these days for people to have excuses for being obese or morbidly obese. (Even medical reasons - on a certain level - weight can be controlled in certain ways, eating right, exercising, medication etc)



There are dieticians, there are weight training programs, there are therapists / psychologists / physchiatrists that are all trained and have experience dealing with everything from just not eating right and not setting up a healthy diet to the mental and emotional problems that go with eating disorders, whether it's anarexia, bulimia, overeating, etc,etc,etc.. some people are just plain fat and it's because they are just plain lazy.



My son is only 10 months old, but he will get treats and he will be active and he is / will be a healthy boy - genetically looking at his family he shouldn't have the issues a lot of people have but if any of it ever comes forth whether it be not eating enough or eating too much, not exercising enough or exercising too much - I WILL ADDRESS IT. Unlike that horrible person who let her child get to 500lbs. Disgusting, that POOR child.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Jo:



Quoting Lisa: And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.





It is very naughty of you to think that just because some kids get chips and soda and some chocolate treats here and there means that they will be fat.






A BALANCED LIFESTYLE DOES WONDERS.






Okay you ninnies.  I am not talking about a few treats here and there and I am not talking about people who are heavy or big boned or whatever.  As you are so fond of saying Jo, go back and read my posts.  I am talking about OBESITY and MORBID OBESITY.  Folks who can barely move without breathing heavily and fill their carts full of cheetoes and oreos.  And then, as the premise of this thread was about starting children on this obesity cycle, the tendancy to pass these habits on to ones children.  I know that hormones do all kinds of things to peoples' bodies and I know, for women in particular, as they age, the weight tends to congregate to certain areas, as it does with some men.  I am not talking about people who for the most part, lead balanced lifestyles.  I am talking about people who sit on their duffs for 10+ years eating pizza, fried chicken and ding dongs and then say it's genetic.  So I don't want to hear anymore sob stories, save it for Oprah.   It might be easy to jump all over me for this, but I stated from the get-go that I have issues with fat people and they're everywhere!  There is something very wrong with our society and I think alot of it has to do with the absolute refusal of people to take responsibility for their own actions.  Oh, boo-hoo, cry me a river, just dance around a bit while you do it :P

[deleted account]

I should have posted before I read anything lol



I'm not a doctor but it seems to me that obesity falls into two categories for adults and children alike. The first is medical (thyroid problems, etc). The thyroid issue can be controlled, but sometimes the weight gain issue cannot. The second is lifestyle and choices. My sister in law's brother has a daughter who, when she was 6 or 7 was really REALLY overweight. I don't know how much she weighed but she was huge for her age....hell, I was 20 at the time and I think she weighed almost as much, if not more than me. That was back when I was a skinny bitch (lol) and weighed 115-120. Her mother was also severely overweight. One Thanksgiving we ate at their house. I sat and watched this little girl fill her plate THREE TIMES and no one said anything about it. ONE of her plates was twice as much as my plate. This little girl has grown up and is a woman now.....and she weighs well over 300 pounds. It's sad because her life could have been so different if her parents had made healthier choices for her.



Ok, all that being said, I am a big fan of moderation. I was a little overweight before I got pregnant with my son....probably about 20 pounds overweight, nothing major. Since having him, I'm probably right now about 30-35 pounds overweight. Do I exercise? Not unless you count chasing after a two year old, going for walks, dancing through out the day with him.....Do we eat healthy foods? That's pretty much ALL we eat. Red meat maybe once or twice a month and chicken, fish and pork the rest of the time. Everything is either grilled or broiled. Rarely do I bake any meat. We eat lots of fresh veggies and fruit. We drink lots of water and are generally healthy people. We also always have two 1.5 quart tubs of ice cream in our freezer (two flavors), a bag of chips on top of the fridge and I've been known to raid the 10 for $10 section of the candy aisle at the grocery store. Does my son get any of this? Sometimes. Not often and never much. But if I'm having a bowl of ice cream, I give him a few bites and I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm not ashamed to give it to him because I know that it's a treat. I know that the vast majority of the time he eats healthy food and gets plenty of exercise and drinks plenty of water. He'll be two Oct 17th, weighs 28 pounds and is 33.5 inches tall. He always gets rave reviews from his doctor and from the nutritionist. Even the nutritionist agrees that there is nothing wrong with a sweet or salty snack for him from time to time. It's the people who (like someone said earlier) feed their kids cheetos and soda for dinner instead of making an attempt to do something healthy...those are the people that should be "ashamed" of themselves.



By the way, the story of the 14 year old boy weighing over 500 pounds? I would consider that abuse if there was no medical reason for him to be that big or if she watched him get that big (helped him) and did nothing to stop it. That's like seeing your child running into traffic and not doing anything to stop it.

Erin - posted on 09/15/2009

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I think we can all agree that letting a child get to 500lbs is ridiculous (and abusive IMO). But I also just wanted to point out that people's metabolisms and hormonal make-ups are variable throughout the course of their (adult) lives, which has a huge effect on weight and weight loss.

My mother and I are both prime examples. My Mum is short (5ft4) and was slim even after having two very big babies. Then she had her tubes tied, and something happened to her metabolism. Nothing about her lifestyle changed, but the weight piled on. She is now 54 and the most active person of her age I know, but she cannot lose the weight. Now she is not obese, but IS overweight, and because she's developed Type 2 Diabetes this is a risk to her health. So she is CONSTANTLY trying to lose the 10-15kg she needs to (walks everyday, gym 3 times a week), she's FIT and it just doesn't happen. But it is not through laziness or bad choices. It is due to her physiology.

Now my story is different again. I'm 5ft 10 and as a teenager I played competitive (state-level) sport. Even in full-training and prime fitness, I was HEAVIER and BIGGER than a lot of my team mates, but not necessarily FATTER. Then when I had to retire due to injury all my muscle went to fat (and I put on another 10kg) - then I WAS fat (this was from ages 17-21). I was not active, due to my injury, and my body changed.
But it changed again at 21 (around the same time as I finished uni and started full-time work) and the weight just started falling off me. I lost 30kg in a bit over 6 months without even really trying. People thought I was anorexic. People thought I was on drugs. And I did get very skinny (too skinny if I look back at the photos), and I stayed that way until I got pregnant at 26. During this time my metabolism was my friend :) I ate whatever I wanted, which was still a fairly good diet but I in no way deprived myself, and my weight never changed.

Now fast-forward to the end of my pregnancy and I packed on 34kg. TOO MUCH. I spent the last 12 weeks on rest due to some minor complications, and my metabolism was no longer being nice to me :( Now that my daughter is 7 months old, it still isn't. I'm still overweight from my pregnancy. I lost 11kg before I even left hospital, but have not managed to shift any more (in fact I think I've put a couple more back on). I (barely) eat 3 meals a day, and hardly any junk, but I admit I should be eating more fruit and veg and less carbs.

My point is that my diet and activity level now is no different than it was before I got pregnant (if anything I eat LESS), but my body has changed. It stores EVERYTHING I put in my mouth now, where as before it didn't. YES I should do some exercise, but there's this thing called MILLA that gets in the way :-p

Kylie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Lisa over 50 % of Australians and Americans are overweight or obese, so technically it is normal. there is more to it than people buying/eating crap, its our culture and we are encouraged to over indulge especially on special occasions, our bodies aren't deigned to be able to process all this refined food high fat, high sugar food but the shit is everywhere! and it is a fact people self medicate with food and that some people can eat crap all day and not gain weight and other are genetically predispositioned to blow out. My cousin and i are good examples, same hight and age, she works out almost every day she trains for fun runs but she is still considered a big girl (size 14, DD boobs) she is a lot fitter than me. recently i stopped going for walks and started eat biscuits every night and gained a fair bit of weight, i decided that had to stop and have been walking and training again and the weight just falls off me, in over a week i lost 3 kilos without really trying. Everyone is different and it's unfair to lump everyone in the same category. I just wanted to say i don't think overweight people are lasy or that obese or morbidly obese children are "lasy" i think they get that way because of lasy parenting..do you know how many calories a child has to eat to sustain a weight of 500 pounds? it would take a lot of effort and time spent eating to keep that sort of weight on that's why i believe it's child abuse.

?? - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Lisa: And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.


I gotta say Lisa, I'm sad to read that from you.



While I agree with you that there are people who need to take responsibility for their own lives and be active and eat right but like your family, mine all grew up with chocolate bars and chips and pop too - we had healthy meals and we had healthy snacks and we got treats.



My brother is currently training for the olympics after being a body builder for almost 10 years now, where he had also trained for Mr Olympia but refused to take steroids and other performance enhancing drugs so he was dropped sponsorships and could no longer afford to pursue his natural body building dream.



I am 5'2 and 134lbs and I have muscle tone along with my lil baby ponch that I have been TRYING to get rid of but it's only been 10 months. I was fat in my teens and then I was anarexic and now I take responsibility for my own activity.



My sister is 5'5 135lbs and muscley with her baby ponch as well. My 19 year old sister is 5'8 150lbs and muscle. She runs everyday, she walks everyday, she plays ball and soccer and weight lifts. My mom is 5'5 135lbs and she's in damn good shape for having 4 kids and being over 50 years old. My dad is 6 foot and 190lbs and at 60 years old is still playing baseball, working 40+ hours a week out in the bush logging, on teh weekends he's up at dawn out doin firewood and mowin the lawn and goin for a walk. He is better shape than most kids that eat healthy and never get junk food.



We ALL still buy that junk - we all have our sweet tooth for the crap - that doesn't mean we allow it to control our lives. My brothers diet is a lil more refined than the rest of ours due to his rigorous training schedule - but he gets his junk food fix too.



It is very naughty of you to think that just because some kids get chips and soda and some chocolate treats here and there means that they will be fat.



A BALANCED LIFESTYLE DOES WONDERS.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Amie:

Lisa, your biases are showing.....

I too have and had obese family members. They ate healthy, they went to the gym, they have self control.. they're still obese. Does that make them lazy? Does that mean they don't have willpower?

Do not lump all people into the same category, it's rude and discriminatory.



I realize I was a little harsh but I stand by my argument - people who go to the gym and eat healthy and have self control do not become obese - they do these things AFTER they have become obese.  Overweight is one thing, obesity and morbid obesity are another thing.  I just think we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard and teach our kids to expect more from themselves - I think there is far too much sitting around blaming whatever and having a victim mentality and not enough getting up and taking charge of ourselves and our own lives.  Look around you - look at the sheer numbers of people and children who are OBESE.  This is not normal.  This is not "fat genes".  This is a mind set, and I'm sorry to be the mean, rude, skinny butt bitch, but I am not going to let my kids walk down that road.  And for those of you who ar buying all that crap and doling it out to your kids, shame on you.

[deleted account]

You can't generalize on something like weight. Every person has a genetic make up different to the next. BMI which they base obesity levels on don't take in to account muscle or even build.
Now obviously there is a difference between obese and morbidly obese. If a child is falling into the latter catergory then I think that there needs to be some sort of intervention. The issue needs to be addressed. Sometimes it's medical, correct help can be found. If it is down to diet, then the parents need to be educated to the damage they are causing. If they continue to feed their child and allow their child to eat foods that are damaging then I do believe that it then becomes abuse. Compulsive eating can be as much an eating disorder as anorexia or bullemia. Sometimes a child may need some sort of therapy to discover why they are using food for comfort.

Sara - posted on 09/15/2009

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That's your opinion, and you're entitled to it. I don't agree, so there you go. I will say that you have lacked to demonstrate to me through your comments that you understand what it means to be obese, but that's my opinion. Viewing it as a character flaw or lack of willpower is hardly going to inspire anyone to get proper help to change their lifestyle and make better choices. It's a social stigma to be fat and you've just reinforced that.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/15/2009

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I don't agree - I do not think it is a disease. I think it is a pattern of behaviour and way of thinking about food. I grew up with an obese mother - I have obese siblings and many obese relatives. I am well aware of the patterns of behaviour but I do not buy for a moment that it is a disease - a disease is an illness that affects your physiology - that's like saying smoking is a disease. And I do not believe alcoholism is a disease, either. Saying it's a disease is a lovely way of saying "it's not your responsibility, it's not your fault". Crap. Bull. Baloney. It is your responsibility and it is your fault, now stop shoving cheetos in your mouth and start doing something about it. And I think clearing your cupboards out is a good place to start.

Sara - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

Okay, I know a lot of you are going to jump all over me, but I have to ask, why do you buy the junk? I don't have it in my house so when the urge hits, I just ride it through. I am not any different than the rest of you - I come from an overweight family, was raised on processed food and dessert everyday, I have a major sweet tooth - I've been known to eat pie for breakfast - I've had 2 babies in the last 5 years, I'm isolated and often home alone while my husband works, but I absolutely will not allow myself to sit around on my butt filling that void with junk food. I deserve better than that, my kids deserve better than that, and all of you deserve better than that. I am not saying you all should be size 4, but I am pretty damn sure your natural size is not 24. The genetic song is a cop out and you know it and I know it. So get up off your butts, clean out the candy and chip cupboards and get moving that body. I am 47 years old and I'm 5'10" and weigh 123 pounds. I do not work out but I walk when I can and I take my kids out everyday. I run up and down the stairs in my house, I dance when I do house work and I play with my kids - I keep moving. And I do not eat crap - although, yesterday I found some easter eggs in the back of the cupboard left over from Easter - I gave my kids 5 each and I ate 2 and threw the rest out. Problem solved. Do you bring a bottle of whiskey to an alcoholic? Do you leave your meds lying around for the drug addict to find? Don't bring junk into the home of complusive eaters.


I think if you're talking about compulsive eaters, just not having it in the home isn't good enough.



 



I dont' think anyone is saying that people should not be held accountable for the fact that they are overweight, I absolutely agree that they should.  But I also don't think that it's right to say that people that are overweight are lazy or lack self control or willpower.  Often, relationships with food are not black and white, they are complex and overeating is bascially rooted in self-loathing and self-destructive behavior, so just not having the chips around probably isnt' going to do it.  I just want people to stop oversimplifiying what is a very serious problem in our society.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, obesity is a disease...and like any other disease it needs treatment.  People can chose to get help or not, that is true.  But it's not as simple, in my opinion, as chosing not to buy a bag of crisps at the grocery store.  And honestly, if you've never been morbidly obese, I"m not sure how you can truly know what those people need.  I have walked in those shoes, and chose to get help and change my life.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/15/2009

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Okay, I know a lot of you are going to jump all over me, but I have to ask, why do you buy the junk? I don't have it in my house so when the urge hits, I just ride it through. I am not any different than the rest of you - I come from an overweight family, was raised on processed food and dessert everyday, I have a major sweet tooth - I've been known to eat pie for breakfast - I've had 2 babies in the last 5 years, I'm isolated and often home alone while my husband works, but I absolutely will not allow myself to sit around on my butt filling that void with junk food. I deserve better than that, my kids deserve better than that, and all of you deserve better than that. I am not saying you all should be size 4, but I am pretty damn sure your natural size is not 24. The genetic song is a cop out and you know it and I know it. So get up off your butts, clean out the candy and chip cupboards and get moving that body. I am 47 years old and I'm 5'10" and weigh 123 pounds. I do not work out but I walk when I can and I take my kids out everyday. I run up and down the stairs in my house, I dance when I do house work and I play with my kids - I keep moving. And I do not eat crap - although, yesterday I found some easter eggs in the back of the cupboard left over from Easter - I gave my kids 5 each and I ate 2 and threw the rest out. Problem solved. Do you bring a bottle of whiskey to an alcoholic? Do you leave your meds lying around for the drug addict to find? Don't bring junk into the home of complusive eaters.

Erin - posted on 09/15/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

And ladies? ANYONE calls you fat or obese or disgusting or whatever - "I can lose weight, you're still stupid."


I have a variation on this comment - "I can lose weight, you can't change ugly" :-p

Charlie - posted on 09/14/2009

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I definitely think genetics plays a big role in our make up , i will NEVER be a "skinny"
i would probably die if i could get down to a size 8 ( Aus) because i am half Tongan , apparently the biggest race in the world .
Majority of my family members male and female are over 6 foot quiet a few of them are 7 foot with height comes weight , we are also genetically predisposed to be muscular .
At my lowest weight size 10 i had people stooping me in the street asking me
" Loureen are you anorexic " dont get me wrong i looked sick but i still weighed 70 kilos !!!
My fiance's grandfather was 7 foot 1 .
Cooper is 10 months 82 cm tall and 13 1/2 kilos ( he was born above the 100 percentile ), i was worried because he is a very big boy for his age although he has never had any of those cute baby rolls on him just a solid little lad , about the size of his one and a half year old friends but his midwife says he is healthy his height and weight is proportional and he is going to be well over 6 foot when he is an adult .
That is genetic , i do not over feed him , he eats three meals a day , VERY healthy meals because i am conscious of what goes in my families bodies , his snack is a piece of fruit .
However i do know there is a line that is crossed where genetics cannot be blamed , Morbidly obese children are a result of the parents and today's super size me culture .
Is it abuse ? when a child is over indulged , gets no excersize and fed nothing but crap and their parents put their health at risk then yes .

Sharon - posted on 09/14/2009

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My family is currently addicted to Skittles & M&Ms and I've been buying them in 5lb bags. I have these condiment cups they hold about 1/8cup of candy pieces and thats all anyone is allowed to eat at one time. If they want more they can have more but they rarely come back for 3rds. LOL the bags are near me so I can monitor the situation!!!

?? - posted on 09/14/2009

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lmao Sharon - I've been munchin on a Mr Big and I'm contemplating the Wunderbar or the Crispy Crunch next :(

Startin to wonder if my fat ass is pregnant again, I want chocolate right now like it's being banned from the universe !

Sharon - posted on 09/14/2009

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You know whats sad?

This whole conversation - I've been eating M&Ms out of th 5lb bag, 4 at a time.

Jeannette - posted on 09/14/2009

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Quoting Jo:



Quoting Konda:

However Jo, mental problems are not as easily solved as you'd think...





No where did I say they are EASILY SOLVED I said that there are many different options to get help for ALL mental emotional physical problems. And if you read what I said - I was a big girl - I'm still not skinny by any means. I was fat and then I was anarexic and now I have to be in control of my life in order for neither of those things to happen again.






Just because it's not easy, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. The fact that so many people would rather just be fat and not address and get help for whatever issues they have is a strike towards them being lazy.






There's people that can't help it and there are just as many that can but choose not too.





I agree that we have to take responsibility for our choices.  I also agree that it is beyond aggravating to think you are making the right choices, and not have success.



But yes, if you are hiding ho hos in your rolls....that is a bad choice, especially if you have no intention of even trying to work a ho off.    



 

?? - posted on 09/14/2009

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Quoting Konda:

However Jo, mental problems are not as easily solved as you'd think...


No where did I say they are EASILY SOLVED I said that there are many different options to get help for ALL mental emotional physical problems. And if you read what I said - I was a big girl - I'm still not skinny by any means. I was fat and then I was anarexic and now I have to be in control of my life in order for neither of those things to happen again.



Just because it's not easy, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. The fact that so many people would rather just be fat and not address and get help for whatever issues they have is a strike towards them being lazy.



There's people that can't help it and there are just as many that can but choose not too.

Konda - posted on 09/14/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

Konda - psh! put them in your bedside drawer under some conveniently rolled up thong underwear - no one will touch them!


The kids, well Nicholas would still take them...hell hubby would too ;o)

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