Kel80 - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 222 moms have responded )
I know I'm pretty much alone with this but I'm going to ask the question anyway.
I don't think children should be getting involved in adult decisions or be part of the decision making process.
People these days seem to think that the childs "desires" are more important than anything else....no matter what !!!
I think that some things should be only for the parents (bio parents) to decide and the child should be kept out of it and not be expected to voice their opinions,pick a side or get involved in any way as it potentially causes upset for the child and the feeling that they are favouring one parent.
My big issue is with kids "deciding" to call a step parent "mum" or "dad".
Although i can see and appreciate that lots of kids are very close to a step parent,i think that if both parents are involved in the childs life ...that no one else should be called mum or dad.
People keep saying on other threads that it should be for the child to decide and a parent is selfish if they don't want their child calling someone else mum or dad...I think this is totally wrong.
I think it would be pretty rare for a child to come up with this idea on their own,especially if he/she sees both parents. I think it is put in their head by PARENTS who desire a "new" happy little family.
I think what a person(any person) is called should be up to the parents. If a child wants to call their grandmother "mum" because he/she sees the grandmother every day because the mum is at work...well i don't think thats acceptable and the mum should explain to the child that grandma will be called grandma and thats it !!!
What if "little jonny" wants to call his auntie by her first name and not call her "auntie whatever"?....just because he is comfortable with this and really really wants to? Well im sorry but i would be saying that i am the parent and what i say goes...as well as the auntie who may not like it either. Surely the adults involved(all of them) should have the right to be called what they believe to be an appropriate name....not bow down to "king jonny" and his little boy desires??? To me,making what the kid wants happen...every time...is a great way to screw with a childs head and to let them know that they are the boss and the parents are basically nobodys !!
Same goes for step parents. I think the difference here is that parents are often angry at the other and don't really care that they are causing hurt feelings or that they are alienating the other parent. I don't believe it is about the child. Often it is selfishness.
I think this can contribute to why bio parents can't get along and don't like the "new" wives and husbands...because they have no consideration for them or their childs "other"family...it's all about THEM and THEIR family...no one else is important.
I think this can really screw with kids head and i'm not surprised that the divorce rate of second marriages is so high and why kids from blended families generally end up with more issues than other kids...does no one ever think about this or what ?????