Is it really selfish???

Lady - posted on 06/07/2010 ( 91 moms have responded )

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I'm sorry to bring this up again when the conversation has been locked but something really bugged me and I felt I needed to reply. So appologise in advance for beating the dead horse but I though this was an important point to make.

Is it really selfish to try and get your child to sleep longer when they reach 4 months?
Sleep is such an important thing for adults and children. Brains develope during sleep, babies learn and sort through everything they have done during the day while sleeping. There bodies heal and grow and they get ready for the day ahead.
A well rested baby will be happier and more contented. They will be willing to interact with their mother, play and explore and learn about the world around them. A tired cranky baby will just winge and want to be nursed for comfort.
If your child is walking through out the night simply because they are hungry, not because they have had enough sleep or are ready to wake up but simpley because their tummy is empty is it really so SELFISH of mothers to feed them a little rice cereal or pureed veg or rusk in order to get them to have a better, healthier nights sleep????

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-happ...

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Jodi - posted on 06/09/2010

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It is easy enough to say "well don't drive". If you only have one child, that being the baby you are choosing not to feed solids, and you are a stay at home mum, then that is all well and good. Have you ever ALSO been the mother of an older child who has football training, as well as 7 am football matches on a Saturday morning, and also needs to be dropped off and picked up from school? As mothers we also can't live in a cocoon.



No-one is saying to shove solids in your kid at 2 months so you can sleep - I wouldn't condone that in a million years. No-one is saying to shove solids in a 4 month old who is refusing them or isn't ready. The point many people are making is that there is a balance between a child who is ready for solids, and therefore giving them a little extra before bed so everyone gets a slightly longer and better sleep, and being sleep deprived because you have made a pre-determined decision to never give your child solids before 6 months.



And just for the record, my opinion is irrelevant because my youngest is now 5, so I am not having to make that decision - I've already been there and know what worked for both of my babies. And I stand by that 100%. That doesn't make me a lazy mother. it doesn't make it that I "couldn't be bothered" getting up to my children. If anything, the way I managed it was smart and in my family's best interests.

Johnny - posted on 06/09/2010

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Hmm. Reading through this thread offers clear instruction on the dangers of sleep deprivation. Clearly, it inhibits reading comprehension skills as well as the ability to drive safely & operate heavy machinery.

I can not believe how confident some mothers are in telling other moms that their parenting choices were wrong. Sort of reminds me of the tips I get from people without children.

I personally believe in holding off on solids until a child has showed all the developmental signs of readiness. My daughter did so at 5 months and shortly following that, we began her on solids (vegetables, not rice cereal) at the recommendation of my breastfeeding doctor and her pediatrician. It worked well for us.

Now, I didn't need to feed her more to get her to sleep longer because at that stage she was sleeping through the night (8 hours +). So, fortunately for me, it was not a concern.

But I will say that if I have another child who is up every hour at 4-6 months, I would definitely consider trying to offer solids if he/she is ready for them in the hopes that they just might sleep a little longer. If they are not really ready for solids or refuse them, I'll probably just suck it up and wait a while longer.

I know that I am just a fantastic and wonderful person to be around when I have not actually gotten REM sleep. I make complete and total sense, understand what others are saying, and am able to operate a semi truck with perfect precision. HA! Even with a good 6 hours a night, I still need an espresso shot before I'm rational and comprehensible. I know that severe sleep deprivation would definitely make me a worse mother, and could even lead to me making a dangerous mistake. So I would seriously consider introducing solids before 6 months rather than do something stupid or just not do a great job mothering.

Isobel - posted on 06/09/2010

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and my second was born while my first was a year and a half old...I dare to say that it took me a lot more attention and energy to watch a year and a half old climber than it would have taken to drive a car.

Sleep deprivation is not a joke... my mind went to some pretty dark places before my mother forced me to let the baby sleep on her belly...another topic all together, but my first didn't sleep for more than an hour for the first three months.

You need to realize that not everybody has the same experience as you...I was literally speaking out loud to myself reminding myself not to shake the baby...but hey, who needs sleep right?

Charlie - posted on 06/09/2010

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"I dont understand why you guys are so different then every mom I know and your body doesnt adapt to motherhoodand the lack of sleep. "

I dont know the mothers you know and honestly ive been blessed with a very good sleeper and a very hands on dad , i fed my child at 4 months not to help him sleep because by all recommendations from his health professionals ( yes we have more than one ) he was ready , while your all spouting off at how virtuous you all are for not feeding your children until 6 months , and i hope you waited till the very hour they turned 6 months heaven help them if they had it one millisecond early who KNOWS what would have happened ! Sorry but it seems that the words recommendation and guidelines eludes some .

Gillian has already clarified what she meant , if you refuse to move along with the progress of the debate , then it cant be helped if you dont understand .

Someone mentioned driving while sleep deprived , its dangerous , more dangerous than driving drunk , surprisingly those who are so outraged by feeding within the recommended guidelines are just as easily shrugging off driving with sleep dep , interesting !

As for wondering why we are on here if we dont have babies AH we have all had babies at one time or another THIS is a debate pretty ridiculous to suggest just because some may not be in the moment or part of the actual discussion that we shouldn't have an opinion.

Sara - posted on 06/09/2010

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I see unfounded childish behavior coming from all sides. Maybe our ideas of what consitute personal attacks differ. You're all taking this too far, but I don't see anything that requires deleting or warning, IMO. Yet, anyway. Maybe you all just need to step away from the keyboard for a minute, huh?

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Lady - posted on 06/10/2010

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Great job everybody on answering the actual question everybody - is it selfish???
Thank you so much ***hugs to you all***.

C. - posted on 06/09/2010

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"I know that severe sleep deprivation would definitely make me a worse mother, and could even lead to me making a dangerous mistake."



THANK YOU, CAROL!!!!!!! You know it must be true if I agree with Carol on something, seeing as we almost always disagree.. I think severe sleep deprivation (IE: getting only one hour of sleep at a time) would hinder ANY mother's ability to care for their child to the best of their abilities!

C. - posted on 06/09/2010

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Haha.. My bad. I knew she was someone's sister!

Wow, this thread has taken an UGLY turn..

Never in my life have I met someone that allowed their baby to wake hourly. If the baby is waking every hour, they need more to eat than just a couple sucks here and there!!! That came straight from my son's Ped's (all of them, and he's had around 12 or 13..) And they were worried about my son who was waking every COUPLE of hours!!!

And aside from waking hourly to feed, it instills poor sleep habits in the baby. They'll get used to waking every hour and won't get a goodnight's sleep as they get older and start going to things like PreSchool! Their teachers are sure to have a field day with that one, that they cannot stay awake for a couple hours at a time..

(Quoting Rachelle: )

"Your basically saying its fine to feed your baby solids to make them sleep longer so you dont have to wake up to feed them, so you dont crash while driving and kill someone. Then dont drive. Our first job is to care for our babys needs, and that includes FOR ALL MOTHERS, getting up in night feeding them, not feeding them extra, or solids so you can sleep. I dont understand why you guys are so different then every mom I know and your body doesnt adapt to motherhoodand the lack of sleep. They get up, eat then go back to sleep, then you go back to sleep. Its just some moms who cant be bothered to get up for half hour to feed their baby."

Really..?? How can you tell moms to not drive b/c they should be taking care of their children??? Did it EVER occur to you that part of taking care of a child INCLUDES driving?? Doctor's appointments, ER visits, trips to the store for food or formula..????

And not everyone's bodies adapt well to motherhood, FYI. I am STILL adjusting! My iron has dropped so low after being pregnant with my son and especially after he was born that I am constantly fighting sleep, despite taking both an Iron supplement AND a Multi-Vitamin that contains Iron in it as well.. Every.Single.Day!!! If you adjusted well, well then good for you! But nobody's body is the same as the next person's! You can't expect one person to adapt well to motherhood just b/c 'everyone you know' did. What is that.. 2, 3, 5 people tops? Everyone I know has had different reactions from their bodies. Some are Supermom and can do a million-and-one things in any given day and some fight sleep throughout their days like I do.. And there are some that I know that are in between. Sometimes they can be Supermom and sometimes they are easily fatigued. Some of that also depends on your genetic makeup, some on the amount of blood loss after delivery and some can be determined by how your LO is. Mine is both from being Iron deficient in both pregnancy and postpartum and my son being THE MOST active baby I've ever seen since I pushed him out. He gets it from his dad, no doubt, b/c even when I was super active in early childhood and after I lost weight, I was never quite THAT active.

I'm oh-so-sorry that I, and some of the other mothers, don't fit your criteria as to what a mother should be and how well she should have adapted. What a shame.. Seriously.. That's all I'm going to say about that for now..

(AGAIN quoting Rachelle: )

"If your kids arent babies why are you even spending so much time debating on here about something you arent even doing right now and for years, lol. I have a great life outside my home and funny enough never crashed while being out, lol."

First, I know Sharon's a big girl and can defend herself.. Just wanted to say that even though her kids aren't babies anymore, she still has a right to input her thoughts into this thread since she has experienced this very thing before. In case you haven't noticed, MANY of the moms on CoM are NOT moms of babies!!! And that includes people in this thread!

And just b/c you haven't crashed yet, doesn't mean it won't happen.. Laura and Loureen are right about drowsiness Vs drunk driving. It is one of the MAJOR causes of death by car accident and it doesn't have to be!

Sharon - posted on 06/09/2010

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Considering the real facts and your stated facts, I'm seriously LOLing here, go ahead and believe what you want - seeing as sleep deprivation hinders your ability to make a considered judgement, maybe child services should have a looksee? Really? Depriving your child of REAL sleep?



So now you're going to back pedal and claim your daughter isn't after nutrition - its comfort? WHAT? Her mother can't comfort her? just your boob can.... something is lacking.... Get some sleep, then think on it.

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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My daughter gets more then enough sleep! She is very smart and huge for her age! GIRL DO NOT TELL ME MY CHILD IS ANYTHING BUT HEALTHY.. ..and who said anything about feeding for 30 minutes??? She wakes up feeds for a few minutes then falls right back to sleep 90% of the time. Most times I think it is more for comfort then hunger.

Im done with this conversation before I say something I regret...



I think someone said it before... What do you have a phd in google???? I think I'll trust my Drs over you anyday.

Sharon - posted on 06/09/2010

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So you think harming your child because of your ill formed beliefs & opinions is a good idea... I think your pediatrician is intent on wiping out the lower class with poor information...



a complete sleep cycle takes 90 - 110 minutes. You say your baby wakes every hour and you feed her/him for 1/2 an hour???



What about the baby? How does the brain get a chance to develop at all? Did you know that a complete sleep cycle was necessary for proper digestion/cycling of glucose? No wonder your child is feeding so frequently - it can't get enough nutrients because you wake it up hourly!!!



http://www.sleepdex.org/stages.htm



Physical effects

There are many apparent short term results of sleep deprivation, such as – fatigue, lack or energy and exhaustion. These are not the only issues with depriving your body of sleep, some are of greater danger. Quality, restorative sleep not only recharges and repairs our brains, it also repairs our bodies. Here are some problems that can occur from inadequate sleep:



* Inability to properly process glucose. This can lead to high blood sugar levels, the start of type II diabetes. This also causes glucose to be stored as fat more easily, which leads to weight gain.



* Increased symptoms of aging such as decreased concentration and alertness.



* Core body temperature is lowered, which can impair proper metabolic functioning again contributing to fatigue and weight gain.



* Less consistent heart beat as well as loss of beat to beat variability, an indicator of good heart health.



* Increased levels of inflammatory molecules are produced causing increased levels of pain.



Mental effects

All day long, no matter what you're doing or not doing, your brain is working. It's utilizing time inputting, processing, and outputting information. Even if you don't think you get much done daily, your brain actually does a lot of work. That's why it's key that your brain has time to rest and recharge. Here are just a few of the damaging mental effects of sleep deprivation.



* Less control over speech – shown through slurring, stuttering, speaking in monotone, and using repetitive words and cliches. Scientists assume this happens because the speech area of the brain actually shuts down and a different, less capable part of the brain, takes over.



* Eventhough short term memory may be enhanced, there is also a decreased ability to access older memories and convert long term memory to short term memory. It then becomes nearly impossible to learn a new skill.



* Decreased creativity, especially when it comes to problem solving. Sleep deprived people are likely to be slower and less accurate when solving problems.



* Hallucinations and even temporary insanity can happen from a lack of REM sleep, a crucialstage of sleep in the restorative and repairative sleep processes.



* Decreased judgment abilities and reaction time. Sleep deprivation is similar to alcohol intoxication especially when it comes to driving ability.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Can_S...

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Well my daughter does in fact wake hourly. Sometimes I am lucky to get more then a few hours of sleep at a time. She is not ready for solids, nothing to do with her age. Even my family Dr has told me to stick to BM because it id doing her wonders.. She is just a big girl that eats more often.. He sees it often. I'm just happy she is healthy. I have my whole life to catch up on my sleep. I get enough to get through my days SAFE. If I was ever that tired that I couldn't function properly obviously I wouldn't get in a car and drive with my child.
Now one more thing, I choose to wait until 6 months. Thats my choice as a mother, Im too nervous to take that chance (again my choice). I have said a million times if they are ready, great. To each their own. At the end of the day you are the parent.. Sooo please stop using before 6 months thing.. We resolved all this in the previos thread..

Now you guys can keep going on about how Im going to drive off the road or kill my family.. I'll leave you to it.

*Lisa* - posted on 06/09/2010

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I think it's pretty clear that those who say 'no way! wait until 6 months regardless of whether the doctors are advising otherwise' and 'no way! Feeding solids before 6 months is selfish' are those whose babies slept fairly well. Until you have experienced the sleep deprivation that Laura and Gillian are talking about, you will always say 'stick to the rules'. We're not talking about babies who wake 3 hourly or even 2 hourly, because that is normal. Mine still does at 9 months. We're talking about babies who are waking hourly or less, which mine used to do. There is a big difference between waking 3 hourly and waking hourly.
A few people commented that babies will get the sleep that they need... not true. We've all heard that sleep begets sleep. So a baby who is repeatedly not getting enough sleep, will continue this cycle. Mine did that. He didn't make up for his lack of sleep at night by napping during the day, in fact his naps were just as unstable as his night time sleep. Incidentally, I didn't start him on solids til 6 months, but if a mother and baby are that sleep deprived, why not try a few spoon fulls of rice cereal to see if that can settle him/her? Just recently I heard of a father who killed his 5 month old son because he was so sleep deprived.
In regards to the driving while sleep deprived topic, my friend drove off the rode in the middle of the night coming home from work and wrote the car off. Not because he was drunk, but because he was sleep deprived. He was lucky to survive.
I think to call a mother 'selfish' because she wants her baby to sleep a little better is way harsh. I think this kind of mother is SMART and is looking out for the well-being of her family.

Krista - posted on 06/09/2010

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In retrospect, it probably would have been better to have left this thread locked, methinks....

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Listen I haven't had much sleep at all in 4 months, not to mention the last of my pregnancy.. So its been awhile. I cope just fine.
I manage to care for my baby, my home, workout everyday... and get this, I drive.. ...safely everyday.
This conversation is going in a whole new dirrection.

Have fun

Sharon - posted on 06/09/2010

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Thats it!!! Rachelle has solved ALL our problems!!

We'll never need a thing outside our homes again!!! We'll uh... wait.. we'll uh... hhmm... hey? Does walmart deliver tampons and formula?

OH I KNOW!!! We'll all apply for medical disability because we have BABIES!!!!! Then the government can supply all needs like it does all welfare moms!!

Who the hell sleeps all day?

By all means I fed my babies around the clock but we're talking about babies who are up every hour. Apparently you never took any sort of biology class that explains how much sleep your body needs - whether you're a mom or not or how long you've got to stay in REM sleep in order to get any quality of rest.

For the first three months - I practically didn't leave the house. for a number of reasons. And yes, one of them was sleep deprivation. But I have this NAGGING self reliance thing .. you know.. do for myself..... I know a lot of welfare addicts don't have that. But oh well, thats just me.

Rachelle - posted on 06/09/2010

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Lol, then dont drive, where are you guys taking this conversation. Your basically saying its fine to feed your baby solids to make them sleep longer so you dont have to wake up to feed them, so you dont crash while driving and kill someone. Then dont drive. Our first job is to care for our babys needs, and that includes FOR ALL MOTHERS, getting up in night feeding them, not feeding them extra, or solids so you can sleep. I dont understand why you guys are so different then every mom I know and your body doesnt adapt to motherhoodand the lack of sleep. They get up, eat then go back to sleep, then you go back to sleep. Its just some moms who cant be bothered to get up for half hour to feed their baby.

Charlie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Am i back teaching kindergarten again ?


Anyhoo.......Laura is right : http://www.google.com.au/search?q=how+da...

A small snippet of just ONE article :

Sleep deprivation is the cause of a number of physical and mental problems. One of the main problems is the link between sleep deprivation and reaction time.

Studies have shown that those who are suffering from not getting enough sleep have the same problems with reaction time as people who have been consuming drinks that contain alcohol. Actually, in some situations, those suffering from not getting enough sleep actually have worse reaction times than those who are under the influence of alcohol.

Isobel - posted on 06/09/2010

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It's actually a proven fact that being tired behind the wheel is MORE dangerous than being drunk...look it up.

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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What??? LOL
Oooook...

I have an amazing baby girl and an amazing hubby fighting for our country overseas. Im pretty darn happy and more then heathy thanks!

Feed your kids what/when you want. Obviously this debate can not be debated without getting put down..

..and thanks I like to think Im pretty cute too ;)

Rachelle - posted on 06/09/2010

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We arent happy and healthy cause we dont think you should feed solids just to get more sleep and not have to wake up and feed, HAHAHA. I am beyond Healthy and so happy. Little Girls? If your kids arent babies why are you even spending so much time debating on here about something you arent even doing right now and for years, lol. I have a great life outside my home and funny enough never crashed while being out, lol.

Erin - posted on 06/09/2010

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can anyone say personal attack? i think its funny how the moderators are all over a post that that brings up another thread, but do nothing about childish unfounded personal attacks!!!!

Sharon - posted on 06/09/2010

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Aren't you 3 CUTE???? I don't need an excuse to do what I feel is right is for my children. Proof is in the puddin, little girls. I have 3 healthy honor roll students, active in sports with lots of friends.

I have a life outside of my home, I'm happy & healthy. LOL from what I read - you 3 can't say that.

Rachelle - posted on 06/09/2010

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Seriously, every mom is sleep deprived, not too often you hear of them crashing, really is this conversation really happening haha

Erin - posted on 06/09/2010

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LOL....seems like some people are running out of arguments....haha, guess they should revoke all new moms and dads license's. LOL, or my!

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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lmao is all I have to say...
I guess I had better stay home until my daughter is older and sleeps through the night then.
Thanks for the advice :)

Sharon - posted on 06/09/2010

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Christina - maybe you are safe behind the wheel with an hour or two of sleep but I am not.

I don't consider it selfish at all to keep myself healthy and safe and my children alive by insuring I have adequate sleep before getting behind the wheel of a car or measuring out medications.

There are enough reasons for a parent to be sleep deprived and frankly I AM LAUGHING at you with one child or two small ones and thinking, "This is easy..."

If simply feeding my baby a little extra before bedtime ensures I've eliminated ONE of the sleep depriving factors in my life, I'll do it. And I won't be making foolish accidents and later claiming "its not my fault! I was tired with a baby" bullshit remarks either.

All these women talking "I'm a zombie" aren't safe drivers and are possibly not making safe decisions.

TODAY I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep well, to much pain and toss in some allergy meds, I left work early. I'm to tired to be making good decisions.

I'm that careful with my job. How can I not be THAT careful with my children?

Sara - posted on 06/09/2010

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My doctor recommended cereal at 4 months, so I started giving my daughter cereal at 4 months. We progressed to simple purees first (carrots, sweet potatoes, etc) and I spaced them out adequately to make sure she didn't have an allergic reaction to anything I gave her. I never agree with putting cereal in a bottle, simply because the purpose of early foods is to help babies with their oral motor skills. You negate that by putting cereal in a bottle. But to answer the OP, I think if your baby is ready for some solids, there's nothing selfish about wanting to give that to them. I'm unsure as to how effective giving cereal is in helping them sleep, from what I have experienced and read, there's really no link between the two.

Call me crazy, but I really trust my pediatrician. It is his job, after all, to stay abreast of the latest recommendations and then reconcile that with his experience and knowledge and pass it on to me. So, if he tells me that it's safe at 4 months, well, that's good enough for me. I know that doctor's advice is not the last word, but he knows more than i do, so I take what he tells me seriously and make my own decisions from there.

[deleted account]

*Moderator Notice*



Posts arguing over reasons for previous thread being locked have been removed. Whatever the reason for this thread, it is a legitimate question and we request that people remain on topic.



Thank-you

Mary - posted on 06/09/2010

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I missed the previous thread, as I haven't been on CoM much lately (but it's raining here again!). I always find the fact that this topic gets so heated and emotional rather amusing.

For crap's sake, we're talking about FEEDING methods here, not abortion, religion, or politics! What difference is it to an of us when another woman starts solids with HER infant? And why the need to get judgemental about that choice? Who gives a rat's ass when Gillian, Sarah, or Christina's baby(ies) started solids or why? And, really....how much difference is it going to make in their long-term development?



I breastfed my daughter for 13 months. She started to "sleep through" the night (meaning 8p-4 or 5ish) at 14 weeks. However, there were nights when that didn't happen; she hit a growth spurt, got a gas bubble, or heard the wind howl, or perhaps just wanted to see me at 2 am. Bottm line is, I'm not really sure her diet, or level of intake, had anything to do with her sleep patterns. I started rice cereal at just shy of 6 months because she was showing interest in food at that point. I honestly don't think it had any bearing on her sleep patterns. (of course, in the beginning, I was doing this more in the am or afternnoon hours, the before bed feed was still the boob). If she had showed any genuine interest before then, I would have started it. Conversely, if she hadn't acted interested, I would have waited until she did.



I think that is what MOST mom's on here are saying that they did. I think, if we were all being honest, all of us secretly hoped it would make them sleep better or longer, regardless of when solids were initiated. Is that selfish? No, I think it is simply human nature.

[deleted account]

I don't think it's selfish to get more sleep, but there are extreme examples of CIO where a baby is left screaming for a prolonged period, drugging and mom's winging on the welcome page because their 1 week old doesn't sleep for a full 8 hours. I think the extremes are very stupid and selfish, but the normal moms of say a 4 month old, who allow a little bit of fussing or extra food if they are ready for solids are not selfish at all.

Sarah - posted on 06/09/2010

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I think it's worse to have a baby that's starving hungry at 4/5 months and refusing to even TRY solids because you believe they shouldn't until 6 months!
:)

[deleted account]

I don't see how a 4 month old baby waking at night to feed is that different to a 2 month old baby waking at night to feed; nor do I see how a baby of any age waking at night hungry is any indication that they are ready to start solids (surely you wouldn't recommend feeding a 2 month old solids just because they were waking up at night hungry?). They are waking at night because they are hungry, so feed them, breastmilk or formula, whatever it is you are using. If you are starting solids there should be many other contributing factors to that decision, including child showing cues of readiness like developed pincer grip, able to bring hands to mouth, lost tongue thrust reflex, able to sit unaided, good and consistent head and neck control, interest in foods etc etc, not just an increase in hunger or wakefulness due to hunger or just because baby has reached a specified age. A combination of all these things is required before baby is 'ready to start solids'.



As for selfish, well yes, if the sole reason to starting solids is to get baby to sleep through the night then yes to me that seems selfish. I would hope any Mother also considers their child's nutritional needs, developmental needs, health impacts and readiness to start when venturing into the introduction of solids. But really, what would the mother who starts solids purely based on sleep deprivation care about being called selfish by anyone else, surely she would have justified her reason/s to herself?



I will admit to my own selfish thought; when I introduced solids to my son at 6 months I did think briefly "I wonder if this will help him sleep longer, wouldn't that be bliss". It was not my reasoning behind introducing solids, but I was so overwhelmed by incorrect information out there stating that at 6 months there is no physiological reason for a baby to wake at night for a feed (can't remember where I read that now), that most babies are sleeping through the night at 4-6 months (I wasn't aware at the time that STTN in this instance referred to 6 hours at a time) and my own sleep deprivation that I occasionally hoped a new developmental milestone might bring with it a reprieve for my sleep. Of course nothing changed that quickly and I bore with the middle of the night and early morning breastfeeds and cuddles because it was obvious that was what my son needed and it is only recently at 11 months that he sleeps through most nights for longer than 8 hour stretches.



So my point is, sleeping longer is a developmental thing that is different for all babies as is the need to introduce solid foods. It is not a "choice" that should be made selfishly or otherwise at a particular age, it is a decision that should be reached given all the correct information and all the correct signs of readiness displayed by both baby and parents.

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Well, that is not at all how your OP was wrote, but if thats what you meant... No one said that was selfish. I think we all came to that conclusion in my thread.
So that being said, now and a million times previously in my thread I think Im done with the whole solids topic :) I have been GLUED to my computer for two days now... lol

Lady - posted on 06/09/2010

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It was started because of a coment you made in your origional post - that giving a child solids before the age of 6 months was selfish - my point is that if they are waking through the night more when they have been previously sleeping 4-6 hours is it really selfish to give them solids to try and help them sleep better - in otherwords the waking because of being hungry is a sign that they are ready to start - why is it then selfish????

Christina Marie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Christina - Rachelle is my sister, not Erins lol (I know same last name).

The whole meaning of this post was based off of the thread I had started (Gillian made clear). Which again was nothing to do with giving solids if your LO is ready. It was giving them for the parents convenience... So if Gillian has changed her mind/post then this has nothing to do with the point I was making in my post/thread..
I think we all agree, based alone on giving for sleep is selfish.. If your child needs them its a bit different..

Have a great day! :)

C. - posted on 06/09/2010

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(Quoting Erin P: )



"it does sound ridicules...something else to consider to, personally if i eat a large meal it might make me sleepy, and i might have a nap and sleep for a long period of time, but i am sure not going to feel very well when i wake up. so what would make you think feeding an infant into a sleepy state is going to make them feel any different?"



Oh geez.. You and your sister act like the parents would be feeding the baby a toddler-sized bowl full of rice cereal!



If you're worried about your LO feeling ill after having a large meal and napping right afterwards, I would suggest that you don't fill his/her tummy with milk, either. Though milk may seem like nothing but a liquid, it isn't. Why do you think on prescription medicine labels it usually tells you to 'take with food or milk'. Milk has solid properties in it, therefore it is also considered a solid, medically speaking b/c it curdles/coagulates when it reaches the stomach. This is partly why I think it is wrong to start solids, like rice cereal, early b/c milk is a solid itself.



http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.ht...

[deleted account]

Erin, how much do think parents starting solids early feed their children. The first two weeks I gave nothing but babyrice from a spoon. It was very runny and I only gave a couple of spoonfuls. It was well over a month before he started eating enough, divided into three small portions a day, before I noticed any change in sleeping patterns. It was only a gradual process.



Nobodies giving a child a huge meal. Personally though I feel great taking a nap after a huge meal. Maybe that just depends on an individuals health and fittness levels.



Thought you were too bored to comment further?

Jodi - posted on 06/08/2010

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Um, girls, Gillian DID clarify IF THE BABY IS READY. Read the entire thread before responding rather than just assuming the opening post is the full information from the OP.



Quoting Gillian:

"I am NOT talking about children before the age of 4 months and I'm not talking about trying to get them to sleep through the night I am talking about a child who is at the recomended age of getting solids and instead of sleeping the usual 4-6 hours that they have been previously doing they start waking every two hours - is it really then selfish to start them on a little rice cereal - on a spoon - never a bottle - to try and fill their tummies a little more before going to bed in order to enable both mother and baby to get a better nights sleep???"



Personally, I think it is selfish to withhold starting to teach your child to eat solids if they are ready!! But that's just my opinion.

Erin - posted on 06/08/2010

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it does sound ridicules...something else to consider to, personally if i eat a large meal it might make me sleepy, and i might have a nap and sleep for a long period of time, but i am sure not going to feel very well when i wake up. so what would make you think feeding an infant into a sleepy state is going to make them feel any different?

Rachelle - posted on 06/08/2010

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If they are waking up to eat, yes feed them, milk, a bit of cereal if they are ready, fine, but thats not whats being said, Giving them solids to Keep them and you sleeping longer, not because they necessarily need it, is rediculas. Get up and feed your baby. Babies wake up in the night, its normal. Nowhere in this post did it say feeding solids because baby is ready, it said feeding solids so mom and baby will sleep longer. Selfish!. So if you give your baby solids and they are still waking up to eat in night, what are moms gonna do,give them extra solids so they can sleep? Sounds a bit rediculas doesnt it?

September - posted on 06/08/2010

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If the baby is old enough for solids and is waking because they are hungry...then no I do not consider that selfish by any means.

C. - posted on 06/08/2010

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^^^What Kati just said!

Anyway, Erin.. If you were so bored with this topic, why did you even post on it? Doesn't make sense.

I'll post more later.. Have things I gotta do.

Rosie - posted on 06/08/2010

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obesity you can change, allergies you can control- the fact that you killed your child is permanent.

Rachelle - posted on 06/08/2010

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This topic was Not asking about it being ok to give solids if the baby is ready. It said, is it really selfish to give solids/cereal to have mom and baby sleep longer. YES its selfish. Who in the world made any of us beleive that when we had a baby we would not be giving up sleep for a while. Its not news, we all do it. Your baby wakes when hungry so we feed them and most the time they go back to sleep, so they are getting enough sleep. As for us moms, of course we need sleep too but we all manage to survive with little of it in the first while of our baby's life. Sleep when they sleep during day of you really cant handle waking in the night. Its all part of having a baby. Whether your baby is ready for solids or not you,dont give it to them just so they will sleep and let you sleep longer. When they are ready give them cereal fine, but not for such a selfish reason to get more sleep. Baby's get more then enough sleep whether during day or night most the time.

[deleted account]

Are you suggesting it's better to overfeed a baby formula (a proven cause of obesity in babies) to a baby that is already drinking way above the recommended amount and already showing weight problems? Even if a doctor suggest it may be better to start solids. That doctor must be a quack. And you have what to back this logic up? A PhD in Google?

Erin - posted on 06/08/2010

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and thats all i have to say about that...this topic is boring its already been debated into the ground.

Erin - posted on 06/08/2010

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why not give them more milk?!? nurse until they are satisfied, increase day time feedings so they get the calories,heck if your nursing why not top up with formula before bed? i hate formula but its better than risking a baby chocking to death on food he/she is not ready to ingest.

kati- more people die from allergic reactions and obesity, that being rolled on or suffocated. just a little food for thought!
oh. and cereal in a bottle?!? dont even get me started on the risks your running there!

Rosie - posted on 06/08/2010

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to answers erins question - it's because one deals with rolling over and killing your child and the other one deals with allergies, or obescity. at least that's how i see it.



anyhoo to answer the OP, i don't think it's selfish at 4-6 months to give your child food to go to sleep. it didn't work for my children though. someone told me to feed my first child (who's 10) cereal in his bottle to get him to sleep (and i know that's different than what we're talking about) it didn't work obviously, but 2 weeks later at 6 weeks old he was sleeping through the night from 8pm to 7 am. my second child didn't sleep through the night, and still doesn't and he's 5. feeding him more food right before bed didn't help, it's something engrained within him, he MUST wake up, lol! and with my 3 year old he slept through the night at 6 weeks old and has slept perfectly ever since. no food involved with that either.

if it works for your kid, than yeah i have no problems, it just didn't work for my babies. :)

Lea - posted on 06/08/2010

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No I don't think it is selfish at all to give it in the evening to a child that is ready for baby food. Its probably the better thing to do actually, if the child is continuously hungry like mine was. Its before 4 months or before the child is ready that it is a problem. This sounds really different than what you were asking before.

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