is porn evil??

Sal - posted on 08/23/2011 ( 43 moms have responded )

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ok i know some of you girls have seen the post that has inspired this question, so here it goes is porn of its self evil....(i'm not talking addiction....addiction to anything is bad) but conesenting adults having a quick perve, or a couple using it to spice things up a bit....this isn't about kiddy or anything else illegal just regular old guys and gals show and using their bits???

and who agrees that all men look as the old saying goes 80% of men look 10% are blind &10% are lying...

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Johnny - posted on 08/23/2011

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It can be when someone is victimized or harmed by either the making of it or the viewing of it. But pornography is not inherently harmful. It is really just like any other product. Your clothes could be produced in a manner that victimizes the makers and you do not see people commonly getting morally outraged about it. And just like any product, the consumer can over use it to an extent where it harms them or those they love. But I think that is far less common than the anti-porn crusaders would like us to believe.

Honesty and openness are important in relationships. But I think that many women's stance on pornography makes their partners feel like they have to hide it, and that causes trust issues. I do not agree with men sneaking around behind their wives' backs like that, it is hurtful. However, in a way, they are being asked to suppress their sexual interests, which I believe to be unfair.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/23/2011

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Truly we are made to feel that sex in general is a taboo. It is a topic not spoken much in the generations of our parents and their parents.
How can porn be evil or wrong? There’re two consenting adults doing often-natureal pleasing things with their bodies.

The men and women that do lie about watching it do so because they don’t want negative back lash.

I watch it and have learned a thing or two myself..its like sex-ed for adults….lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/24/2011

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Karla, I think I have that book. My sister gave it to me when I was like 14. Or she gave me something similar. It talks about EVERYTHING! It was helpful to know I was a normal girl.

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Sarah, I totally understand why it would bother you, he lied to you and broke your trust. :(

Porn isn't for every relationship. I don't expect it to be. When it does work in relationships I believe there has to be a few factors:
a) trust in your partner
b) confidence in your own sexuality
c) mutual enjoyment (you both have to actually enjoy watching it)
d) respect
e) personal guidelines that are followed to ensure mutual enjoyment, respect, and trust.

But lying is not part of the game! Or hiding things from your partner! Not cool.

Elfrieda - posted on 08/23/2011

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My husband doesn't watch porn. I'm not saying he never has, but not since he's been an "adult". I haven't seen much of it, either, just in university sometimes there would be a "porn party" where a whole group of people watched it together to giggle, and I was passing through the room. I didn't get the thrill, it seemed pretty weird to me.



For me, there's a huge ick-factor. I'm a people watcher, I love to imagine what people's stories are, and it makes me really sad to think what must have been the thought process that led them to do this. I mean, it's not like erotic fiction, these are real people! They used to be kids, they have a favourite ice cream, and they have family, you know? It's not right to look at them that way, in my opinion. I mean, I look at an image, and initially it looks sexy, and then like those magic 3D puzzles, it shifts into, "I wonder if they even like each other? How does that work, to let someone in when you don't like him? I wonder how it affects her when she's doing this for fun instead of for money?" etc. and that sure does kill the buzz.



I feel sorry for people who say "All men do...", or "99% of women think ..." They seem to be so trapped by stereotypes that they can't look around and see what's really there.

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Karla - posted on 08/24/2011

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The Q: “Is porn evil?”

My A: I hope not.



From Jennifer…

”Marina, I believe there are a lot of ultra religious men who don't. Especially, in religions like Islam.”



Not to put a damper on things, but wasn’t it reported that the 9-11 bombers went to the strip club the night before? I don’t think religious doctrine is a strong indicator of behavior.



The only part of porn that bugs me is the idea that people are posing and/or acting it out, in front of a camera. That part feels wrong to me. I think I’m more comfortable with printed porn such as “My Secret Garden” by Nancy Friday.



And Jennifer says,

” But the difference is; our society deems sex as a taboo or private experience. So being privy to a couple getting it on is much more arrousing than watching someone scarf down a delectable 5 course french cuisine.”



Yeah, porn being taboo is the reason it’s more arousing to watch it then to watch people scarfing food. …yup.

;-)



When I was a teen I happened upon the book “Our bodies, Our Selves” and I think that helped me be more accepting of my sexuality.

Konni - posted on 08/24/2011

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I always find it funny that people need to point out that porn stars are actually people and must have problems if they went down the path of porn. My thing is most proffesionals porn stars get paid a shit load of money & I've heard them say people go out and try & find a job that they love, well some people love sex so being a porn star is their dream job and they are actually happy :)

Alison - posted on 08/24/2011

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Obviously an unpopular opinion, but I do think it's evil. I think it's addicting for many people and often harmful to relationships. I believe sex is a sacred act of procreation and oneness and shouldn't be a form of public entertainment. I think less watching of porn and more sex only inside the bonds of marriage would make for a much better society.

Amie - posted on 08/23/2011

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The way porn is described in the OP. No, in and of itself, porn is not evil. It's not anything except people having sex.

I can't speak to other people's issues with it. I don't have them. I have speculations but don't have time right this second to type them out.

I am secure with myself, my husband and our relationship. The fact that he watches porn or checks out women does not bother me - at all.

[deleted account]

No problems with porn with 2 or more consenting adults. Porn is a great way to add spice and excitement to an otherwise dull sex life. Peopel who do watch porn and claim otherwise really are only lying to themselves. I honestly don;'t see the need to be ashmaed of enjoying adult entertainment, if you are an adult! Now would I go aroudn telling my co-workers or 90 year old grandma I watch porn with my hubby? hell no! But what goes on in your privat ehome is your own personal busiess.

Stifler's - posted on 08/23/2011

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We haven't watched porn for ages. The only time my husband even goes on the computer is like, after dinner then gets bored of email and facebook and goes for the tv. He used to bring me home people and picture magazines but never does anymore. I've never not shaved my pubes either, pubic hair grosses me out. There is porn for women out there too.

Tara - posted on 08/23/2011

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I agree that there isn't a lot of selection for women, although porn with men in it, even attractive men, just doesn't do it for me, I like to see girl on girl action, but not bimbo girls all done up with fake titties and bad dye jobs.

I have no problem with clean shaven parts on both genders. I have been playing on a clean field for over 15 years now and have no plans to grow again...
Steve also keeps himself nicely trimmed up top and shaved clean on his balls.
I could see how some people might be turned off by shaved bits though. But to each their own. After 6 kids my vag doesn't look much like a 30 somethings let alone a kids!

Lady Heather - posted on 08/23/2011

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I don't have a problem with it. I know my husband was a watcher of porn and reader of magazines up until he was about 23. Sometimes we would watch together. I don't think he looks at it anymore though. A little while ago he was on a business trip and texted me to say the adult movie channel was playing for free in his hotel for some reason so he was watching some bad porn. I'm thinking if he took the time to text me about it, it's probably not something he does a lot. ha. I know he's not watching at home though. He doesn't like magazine clutter and he's always with me or the kid when he's at home. I think some people just get bored of it and he's one of them.

Oh yeah. One time when we were in Paris we ordered a movie from the hotel for giggles. That is the last time I think we watched any together. Anyways, we paid something like 8 euros and then buddy's penis and lady's vag were blurred. 8 euros for blurry bits? HA.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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Sara, i agree. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Like I said, I used to be the same way. I am a very insecure person about my looks, so i know exactly where my feelings came from.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/23/2011

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Sara nothing is wrong with you..he lied and that’s what hurt the most I presume.
As long as he does not neglect you and your needs and does not change how he treats you and the kid(s) as far as giving his time..then just be cool about it, because He might look at it behind your back, and be even more cautious about it.

If it is truly effecting things with the two of you, then he needs to stop..its your or the porn..type of thing.

Porn is not for everyone, I personally think it makes people feel uncomfortable and that’s why they don’t like it. “

[deleted account]

Me and my husband watch it together when we can...
which is not offten, but we enjoy it together, I know he watches it alone. It doesnt bother me.

To me sex is very natural and not something people should be ashamed of. I do not think porn is evil, if it is between two of age consenting adults. My husband and I like amiture porn, its alot better than the ones trying to have a story line. As to any kind of shaved porn, it depends on how shaved really.
I dont like it when the women are totally bald and neither does my husband, he finds on on the creepy side, as do I. In fact I was almost giddy when he first told me way back while still dating that he prefers hair lol.
Anyway I find that porn is a nice way for us to spice things up. When you have kids (espacially more than one) sex can sometimes become routine and really basic, and to me that kills any kind of sex life between you and your partner.

@Jennifer

I completley agree, lying and being sneeky is not cool at all.

Rosie - posted on 08/23/2011

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i love porn, my husband loves porn, it's all good. i guess i don't see the problem with it. it's looking at naked pictures/videos and getting aroused. how is that wrong? that's the VERY first thing that you use when you first meet someone-your eyes, then your mind.

the people on the screen are not people that you will ever see, meet, or have any type of physical encounter with. i don't imagine the actors in the porn touching me, it's just the thought of that action (whatever they're doing) that turns me on.

i'd also like to say i agree with juleah that shaved pubes are icky to me. it reminds me of a child, and well, i'm not turned on by children. *shivers*



edited to add: not that i think anyone who likes that, likes kids. that's not what i'm saying. it just reminds ME of a child and grosses ME out. sorry didn't mean to offend anyone...

Carolee - posted on 08/23/2011

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It's just people having sex and being recorded. If you actually look into the backgrounds of some of the people ("actors"), there are plenty of them who will only work with certain people (ie - boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives). Not all of them do, of course. Every man I have ever met has watched porn. Every man who's woman doesn't like it (that I've met) has still watched it in secret. I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. It's not like your guys is actually going to have sex with these people.

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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True enough Juleah, I wish they made more porn for women. I hate seeing porn where they team a really hot young woman up with a disgusting old man who looks like he may have bugs. ewww

The hot woman does not make up for the gross old man.



I want to see more porn actors that look like Alexander Skarsgård. The Sookie and Eric love scenes always make me hot around the collar.



And yeah, sometimes the acting is sooo incredibly horrible it becomes a turn off. I hate porn with dumb story lines. It makes both genders look dumb, I don't think it's just the females! The men always seem equally idiotic.



I like shaved females, and males for that matter... personal preference I guess. But I grew up in a generation where nearly everyone shaves. I haven't seen hair on a private since my own before I started to shave. So it's just what I'm accustomed to.

Sarah - posted on 08/23/2011

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Wow...how ironic that this post would come up after my little "incident" yesterday. So, yesterday I found porn on our computer that my husband tried to hide from me. I thought it was just something that accidentally got onto our computer somehow. Boy, I'm about as dumb & naive as they come.

So, I guess my husband falls into that 10% that lie about it. I truly believed he had stopped looking at porn. I knew he looked at porn before we were together, but he told me he didn't do that anymore.

Anyway, he admitted it & said he looks at it quite often. I was heart broken. I cried & left the house. It was truly shocking since I didn't think he did that. It really REALLY bothers me & I don't know why! I guess there's gotta be something wrong with me, but I don't know where it stems from.

Anyway, we ended up talking about it & got a bunch of stuff out on the table. Things are okay now, but I'm still hurt. I wish I could just get the hell over it & be normal. :(

JuLeah - posted on 08/23/2011

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People can act in an evil fashion, and maybe even be evil. But, it is the people, not the thing. Intent, how it is used, who is hurt (if anyone) - that can be evil ... it is about degrees ... what is porn to one is not porn to another



Will add .... have not seen much that is geared for women. It is created by and for men, seems to be a guy thing really.



Shaved women, in high heals, tons of make up, acting weak and stupid ... not sexy at all to my way of thinking



All the women seem like little girls with boobs ... do men really think that is sexy? Gross

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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I used to be one of those women that was totally against it, to the point of getting ridiculously upset. I realized it was my own insecurities and hangups.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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Sex IS a very personal thing. Just because you or your SO watches it, does not change how personal it can be between 2 people.

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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If my husband didn't like or agree with porn. I would be in a sad, sad place. lol
I kid. I could live without it. I just wouldn't want to if I didn't have to. It's spicy.

So I wouldn't expect 'more' from my SO. I like that he enjoys the same things as me. ;)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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I am not sure if your statement applies to this, but okie-dokie!

Elfrieda - posted on 08/23/2011

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Jennifer, I guess you're right, I do see sex as being really private/personal (like reading someone's journal but more so), and that's why I don't like porn.



Marina, you can think that if you want. If you expect more, you get more, that's all I'm saying. ;P

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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Yeah Jen, that sounds pretty old school.

That is ok Elfrieda, you can stick me into that stereotype. I still think your husband watches porn though ;P

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Elfrieda, I guess the way I see it is; we look at actors of all kinds as sources of entertainment. To me, sexual entertainment is no different.



I don't usually think of actors in movies as having kids, or a favourite ice creams, or being kids once themselves. I'm trying to concentrate on the damn movie! lol



Besides, our sexual partners (husbands, SOs) were kids before, have a favourite icecream, have children of their own. We have sex with them and vice versa.



But I guess it comes down to whether or not you see sex as being perverse, or in what context you see it as perverse.

Sex to me is as natural (in many contexts) as sitting down and enjoying a nice meal.



But the difference is; our society deems sex as a taboo or private experience. So being privy to a couple getting it on is much more arrousing than watching someone scarf down a delectable 5 course french cuisine.

Tara - posted on 08/23/2011

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No I don't think it is evil.
I like porn, Steve likes porn, we like porn together and alone.
It's not a big deal to us, a little spice or something to help us help ourselves. etc.
I don't care if Steve looks, I look too, at guys and girls. We point out sexy people to each other, it's fun and we enjoy it.
When we are shopping or something we'll check out other couples together too.
But to each their own, and all that jazz.

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Psychology Today reports 66 percent of Internet-using men between the ages of 18 and 34 look at online porn

The UK SUN reports 66% of women and 88% of men.

Maybe the rest of the women are masturbating to Twilight. o_O

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Ok so now I'm curious, according to Frontline:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/...



54% of men and only 12% of women have been reported to be erotically aroused by looking at photographs, drawings, and paintings of nude people according to studies done by Kinsey.



Hmmm. Maybe things have changed since the 60s. lol

Or maybe their wives were in the room at the time of questioning! (j/k)

But I do find those stats rather unbelievable, at least for today's society.

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Marina, I believe there are a lot of ultra religious men who don't. Especially, in religions like Islam.
Or perhaps, I'm being niave. ;)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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Well said Jennifer, but I still think 99.9% of men watch porn or look at magazines ;)

Jenni - posted on 08/23/2011

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Nope, not evil. I watch and so does my hubby. I'm probably more into it than him. But I can understand how it does become a problem in a relationship when one partner isn't comfortable with it.

I don't believe ALL men watch porn, I would say A LOT do. And probably MOST have at least once in their lives. Even if it's just finding and looking at their dad's nudie magazines when they're 12.

I'm not uncomfortable with my husband 'fantasizing about other women in porn'. No more than I am about him fantasizing about any celebrity. It doesn't mean he's less attracted to me and I don't get into that whole cliche of: Do you think she's better looking than me?? *sad face*
I know she is! lol But who cares, there are plenty of celebrities that are hotter than my SO but that doesn't make me less attracted to him or make my feelings for him any less deep.

Physical attraction imo to other people is harmless in a devoted, trusting, deep relationship. It's emotional attraction that I would fear or actually acting on thoughts of infedility.

Watching porn in no way makes me want to cheat on my SO or put thoughts in my head about infedility. I assume he feels the same way as he's never given me reason to assume otherwise.

Tracey - posted on 08/23/2011

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As long as all participants are over the age of consent, and are consenting to take part then no problems with it.

[deleted account]

Porn doesn't bother me. My husband and I both watch it at times (granted I normally laugh through it since most of it is soooooo cheesy and corny) and I don't feel as if he's cheating on me or anything like that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2011

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Porn is welcome in my home. Any man that tells his women he doesn't watch it (and I know there are plenty out there) are lying.

Charlie - posted on 08/23/2011

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No porn is not evil .....and I do think there are men who just arent interested just like there are women who arent interested ( did you know 60% of women watch porn? )

My partner isnt that interested he will watch if I put it on but generally its not really something he is interested in, out of the both of us I am more intersted in it.

Stifler's - posted on 08/23/2011

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no. i love porn. i suspect that this is why 23 people marked that post "funny". i think it is fun to watch with or without your partner.

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