Is saying someone is "too thin" rude?

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Krista - posted on 12/30/2010

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It should not be socially acceptable to look this way.

Actually, I think it should not be socially acceptable to take unhealthy steps in order to look that way. And I will go so far as to say that the very, very, very thin body type should not be held up as the beauty "ideal". But to say that it should not be socially acceptable to look that way is really rather unkind, when there are many people who look that way through no particular actions of their own -- it's just how their bodies work. There are honestly some people out there who struggle to gain weight much as the overweight struggle to lose it.

It's unhealthy habits that we should be demonizing -- NOT peoples' bodies.

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2010

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Julianne, why do you keep referring to extremely thin people as "anorexic people". You don't know whether they are anorexic or not. I used to be incredibly insulted when I was younger and referred to as anorexic, when I wasn't. I look back at photos, and can see why people thought I might be (all knees, elbows and ribs), but it was natural for me. Anorexia is a disease, not a look. Not everyone with the "look" to which you are referring is actually anorexic. Anorexia is not an adjective.

[deleted account]

I understand that you are saying that the "anorexic lifestyle" should not be glorified, but are you saying that it is okay to tell someone who looks anorexic that they are too thin?



My thing is, how can you tell if someone is anorexic or just too thin, or thin for some other illness they have no control over? I can't tell, that is why I think it would be rude to tell anyone they are too thin, or too heavy.



Take me, I am anorexic, I am not proud of this lifestyle, and I think I mentioned earlier that no one in real life know that about me except my mom--we are ashamed of it and we make up excuses).

Right now, I weigh 94 lbs (down 2 lbs, and though I hate to admit it, I'm happy about it). Right now, I look thin, but not anorexic, because I have my condition under control at the moment. Now, there are times when i loose control and my weight can drop easily into the low 80's and I start to look sick, but just because I don't "look" sick now doesn't mean I'm not. Likewise, when I am at a low weight, I still don't think hearing someone tell me "You look discusstingly thin" would help me. It would hurt me. My obsession with weight has nothing to do with body image, it has everything to do with emotional eating. I feel more powerful when I don't eat--so if you make that rude comment to me (not all anorexics or thin people, but a good bit of them) it will actually make me NOT eat even more, because that is how I make myself feel good about myself.



You know? I agree with you that the lifestyle of anorexics or obesity should not be glorified, but I do not think it is okay to make rude comments to people about their weight or lifestyle. That is not what they need.

Krista - posted on 12/30/2010

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Julianne, that is just how modeling works. "Straight-sized" models are much slimmer than the average woman. And "plus-sized" models are much slimmer than the average plus-sized woman. You don't see plus-sized models who are a size 20, unless it's catalogue work.



Do I think that society has gone too far with regards to "thin-with-boobs" as the "ideal" body type? Yes, of course. I don't think any of us disagree with that. The average straight-sized model used to be a size 6. Now she's a size 0. So something has definitely gone off the rails with regards to what our society holds up as the ideal of female attractiveness.



However, there is a BIG difference between saying that very thin bodies should not be held up as the gold standard, and saying that very thin bodies should not even be socially acceptable. The first sentiment is a rational outcry against the idealization of extreme thinness. The second sentiment is just flat-out intolerance. Some people really ARE naturally very, very thin, and for you to sit there and say that their bodies shouldn't even be socially acceptable? That's very intolerant and very hurtful.

Petra - posted on 12/30/2010

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Being called unnatural or disgusting is an insult, both of which you have coupled with being too thin.

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Lotte - posted on 08/14/2011

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yes and I get sick of it. I feel like I look unhealthy and like a frail, walking target. Not my fuckin fault I can't gain weight

[deleted account]

Psyllium husk is a natural way to clean your gut out. Its super cheap, i get it at the bulk barn its like 2$ and it does the week of cleanse. All you do is take the husk and mix a tbs of it with 8 ounces of water. About an hour later drink another glass of water. What it does is turns into a jelly when it hits your stomach, on its way out it expands to the lining of the bowel absorbing any sludge that may be stuck along the lining of the bowel. It does not give you diarrhea like the detox cleanses do, because its not a laxative. It does promote healthy bowel movement however. Once the week is done any toxins are expelled from the bowel, for more sever cases you can go for a month. (ie sever bowel upset like ibs crones or any other disorder) What i do is take probiotic supplements so the gut flora is also not upset by the cleanse, and a teaspoon of black strap molasses every day to give your bowel the needed minerals to digest food properly. That way you can absorb the optimum amount of nutrition and calories from the food you eat.

Krista - posted on 12/31/2010

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Hopefully once your body has settled back down from being sick, you'll be able to put some poundage back on, hon. I can imagine that trying to gain weight in a healthful manner is really tricky, because most healthy foods are non-fattening.

[deleted account]

try omega supplements then. omega 3 6 9 would cover all your good fats. to help you put on weight. Drinking lots of water as well. Maybe cleansing your bowel it can function properly in absorbing the nutrients you are putting in your body. I think everyone should do a good colon cleanse once a year to expel toxins, especially if you've been sick. Good colon cleanse as in not the fad diet thats going on right now.

Krista - posted on 12/31/2010

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Cathy, have you tried increasing your intake of healthy fats? Avocados, bananas, nuts, things like that?

You probably have, so feel free to ignore me if I'm telling you shit you've heard before.

But, like Julianne said, if you feel healthy at that weight, then that's obviously your "natural" weight.

[deleted account]

well that's a healthy weight for you, or theirs a problem preventing you from gaining weight. If you feel healthy, i would go with the healthy weight for you..Unless your worried, then i would see a nutritionist or something to go over your food intake and see where you could be going wrong. Either that or see a doctor.

[deleted account]

losing weight and gaining weight are the same. Exercising and making sure you get enough nutritional value out of the food you do eat without eating to few or many calories. Empty calories go both ways, if you eat too much empty calories, you can either get filled up to easily so you dont want more food and end not get proper nutrition, resulting in being underweight, or your body can burn it off too quickly and crave more so you over eat and then you end up underweight.



When i started exercising and eating right, i put on 30lbs. I did the exact same thing after having gabby and lost weight.

Rosie - posted on 12/31/2010

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it depends on the context to me. if someone says oh i wish i was as thin as you, you are sooo thin! i don't feel that is insulting, they aren't trying to be.
now if someone says go eat some cheeseburgers twiggy, yeah that is rude.

[deleted account]

When your losing weight healthily, not on a crash diet that's harming your body, you will get a lot of support. The only way you wouldn't get support, is if you were harming yourself in the process. It would be a great idea to start one, i know lots of ideas to boost your metabolism healthily and great exercises that speed up the process. I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight pretty quickly and would love to help other women with tips that worked for me. When you know someone else is going through the same thing, it gives you the extra push to stick to it.

Tiffany - posted on 12/31/2010

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I think you would find a lot of support if you posted a thread on trying to lose weight. I have a lot to lose...a lot. I've already started the changes slowly, but starting tomorrow I'm going all gung ho about it lol. The number 1 reason people fail at eating healthier and losing weight is because they don't have a support system. I think it's a great idea to start something here for that.

Petra - posted on 12/31/2010

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I'm with you, Jenn. I've hovered around a size 6-8 (American/Canadian sizing) most of my adult life. A few years ago I blew out my knees and wound up a size 10 - I had more than one chin and some serious spare tire. I still wore a bikini to the beach and thought "Eff you" to people who commented on my weight. Post-baby, I'm a size 2-4. I'm 5'7" and, according to those online BMI calculators (which are fucking bunk, as far as I'm concerned), I'm in the normal range. But I frequently get comments about being too skinny. I find it kind of weird that the perceptions of obesity and anorexia are often based on appearance, rather than measurements of health or dietary practices/habits. Appearances are misleading, more often than not.

Jenn - posted on 12/31/2010

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OK - since we're talking sizes now - when I was 18 I was 5'8" and weighed 128lbs, and I wore a size 7. I was in the healthy range for BMI, yet my cheeks were sunken in and I had comments that I needed to eat more, even though I did eat and I wasn't a light eater by any means. Now my BMI is on the cusp of being obese and I wear a size 16, but I still feel sexy as hell and have no quams about walking around naked in front of my man so I guess the pressures of society haven't gotten to me. And I still think it's annoying to use the word anorexic to describe the way someone looks whether it's a Barbie doll or a real person.

Krista - posted on 12/31/2010

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And to just think, earlier today I was gonna post a thread on helping anyone lose weight that needs it. I do, and I need support. I don't think I would find it in DM.

Actually, I think you'd find plenty of support. Goodness knows I could stand to lose quite a bit of weight, and I'm sure there are other ladies here who wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds as well. And even the more slender ladies here have probably had food/body issues and could empathize. I think a thread like that is a great idea, actually.

[deleted account]

That's why I get all my shorts as hand-me-down's. No shopping involved. ;) I think I was in a 3 before getting pregnant w/ my son. Now I have mostly 5's and (I think) one 7....

Katherine - posted on 12/30/2010

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I hate shopping for jeans or pants. They're all different sizes....so annoying.

Katherine - posted on 12/30/2010

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A size 5 in juniors is a 3 or 4 in woman's. A size 11/12 is an 7-8.

Tiffany - posted on 12/30/2010

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It depends on the way you say it and the context in which it is said. I have a friend who is super skinny. She eats a TON, but just can't gain weight. When people have said things to her, it really bothers her because she is healthy and eats more then anyone I know lol. Unless it's a close friend/family, I would watch what I say. As for the model in that picture, parents need to make their children aware of how pictures are photoshopped and how that is not attainable or healthy. That picture is obviously very photoshopped.

[deleted account]

Ha, I was just thinking about starting another thread on this and wondering if any one else was noticing this phenomenon.



In America, many retailers are now putting smaller sizes on larger clothing. I noticed it years ago when it first began b/c I am peculiar about my weight and knew that my jean size should not be going down if my weight was not. I worked at GAP Inc (who also owns Old Navy and Banana Republic) so I asked about it.

Apparently, the original intention was to make bigger women feel good about themselves by fitting into a smaller size, thus they would always buy Gap jeans b/c apparently women like to say "I'm a size 6" a lot more than "I'm a size 8" what ever their size may be.



unfortunately, other retailers caught on and the new sizes became more "standard" so smaller people were "sized out" The smallest sizes were too big, thus the invention of the sizes 2, 1, 0, and 00. But because all the retailers were messing with their sizes and there was no real standard set, sizes are no longer consistent across brands.....I hate that.

Johnny - posted on 12/30/2010

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I was looking for hoodie in Old Navy about a month ago. The small was the only one that fit, but it was a bit short on me. I got one at American Eagle. It was a large. If I'd bought one from H & M, it probably would have been XL. Ridiculous!

Kate CP - posted on 12/30/2010

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I actually hate Old Navy for that very reason. I bought a bunch of maternity clothes in what I *thought* was my size and they look like damned tents on me. :/

Johnny - posted on 12/30/2010

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I'll also add that almost all the time, when shopping in American based chain stores I wear a size or two smaller than I do in European or Canadian based chain stores. Old Navy is the king of this vanity sizing thing, just like mentioned in the Esquire article.

Johnny - posted on 12/30/2010

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I'm in Canada. Some stores I shop in size 2-4-6-8-10.... and others size 5-7-8-11-13. Extremely confusing. Then there are the lovely XXS to XXXL like Old Navy. But jeans are sometimes sold like men's sizes being 28-30-32. And then there is the lengths issue since every store has a different definition of petite and now instead of jeans being listed with lengths like 32x32 they are just 32R.

I hate shopping.

Mrs. - posted on 12/30/2010

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Warning do not show your SO the above link if he is sensitive about his waist size ;).

[deleted account]

i have an extremely hard time to find clothing that fits me as well. i have wide hips a large chest yet the rest of me is super small. so if i get tops that fit me in the chest, the neck line arms and belly are too big, same with jeans, they fit my butt, and there too big on my waist and thighs. i buy clothing and alter them to fit at home.pretty sure every woman has the same hard time getting clothing that fits, unless your super skinny or are built like a brick, i dont know many brick like women....

Kate CP - posted on 12/30/2010

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The fashion industry really has us women by the short and curlies. Men have a much easier time of shopping for clothes because they can measure themselves and say "Okay, I have a 32 waist, a 34 inseam...that's the size pants I wear!" and go buy the damn pants. WOMEN on the other hand have to try on 3 different sizes depending on the manufacturer because of the leeway given to different companies. A size 8 in one brand is NOT a size 8 in another brand. And that drives me fuckin' nuts.

I go into a store and I'm grabbing sizes 12-20 depending on what I'm buying and where I am. I look like a damn nut trying to find clothes that fit. I have a big ass, big boobs, and a smaller waste. I'm a plus sized woman, yes I am over weight, but I have a genuine hour-glass figure. You have any idea how hard it is to find clothes that look good on me?! I hate the fashion industry for that reason. >:|

Stifler's - posted on 12/30/2010

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I agree with Sherri. Above size 12 (USA 12 aka Australian 16) IS plus sized. Australian size 16 is the largest some stores stock. In department stores (KMart, Target etc.) size 18 and above is in the plus size section. I personally agree with this... size 18 is overweight. You have to be at least 90kg + to be size 18.

Lindsay - posted on 12/30/2010

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a 5 in junior is like a 6 in woman's...a 7 would be an 8...I think that's correct.

[deleted account]

lol yea, i was wondering since i take a 5 or 7 depending on the make maybe i would take a 6 American?lol

Bonnie - posted on 12/30/2010

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Julianne, that's what I was thinking because that's where I am. Most sizes are 1,3,5,7, etc., but there are also quite a bit that go 25,26,27,28, etc.

[deleted account]

I think it's rude to call someone too thin in the street. When a person becomes a model it's a different storey because their body is the tool of their trade and they put themself up for critique. Models who are too thin are portraying an unhealthy image as good. Something that is bad for most people shouldn't be portrayed as good.

Kate CP - posted on 12/30/2010

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Actually, in American sizing the "odd sizes" (3, 5, 7, 9, etc) are Juniors sizes for teens.

[deleted account]

i cant use the online conversion, my size isn't there? Thats funny, we have odd sizes, America has even. sometimes i see even size clothing..not too often though.

Krista - posted on 12/30/2010

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And for your sake, I hope you don't have a thyroid issue cause it really sucks.

Charlie - posted on 12/30/2010

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Oh haha ok I thought you were asking for real , I feel pretty clever for picking it now ;)

But yes you cannot tell these things or the reasons for it .

Krista - posted on 12/30/2010

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Loureen... it is a thyroid issue. What I was getting at, however, is that these things alone cannot possibly be seen through just looking at someone. Someone might look at me and think I'm severely dehydrated, but really it's a case of hypothyroidism. Sure, you can tell someone's "general" health level, but you can't tell what lies beneath. There are people out there who are gravely ill, but look great.

[deleted account]

My apologies too Sherri. I misunderstood :) But I seriously did almost spit my drink out my nose when I read it LOL! G'nite ladies. I expect there will be like 10 more pages to this thread when I get up in the morning lol

Sherri - posted on 12/30/2010

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No problem sometimes how it is meant just doesn't come out in text the same way :)

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