It's just a play kitchen

[deleted account] ( 61 moms have responded )

My soon to be three year old loves play (toy) kitchens. When he goes to visit his cousin, he goes right to the play kitchen. When we go to playgroup, he goes right to the play kitchen. At home he loves to help me in the real kitchen and I let him as much as he can.

My MIL saw how much he loves kitchens and wanted to get him a play kitchen for Christmas. She asked hubby and I what we thought and we said sure, no problem. We were shopping at Costco one day and saw a play kitchen there at a good price. We called my MIL, told her it was there and she came over with my FIL to buy one.

I love my FIL dearly but he's a bit of a homophobe. He pulls my hubby aside and is trying to talk him out of letting my MIL buy the kitchen. "No grandson of mine should be playing with a kitchen" was the gist of the speech hubby got. It was followed by "next thing you know he'll be playing with dolls" and "I better not catch you painting his fingernails." My FIL is afraid the kitchen will turn my son gay.

I don't see a problem with it and neither does hubby or my MIL (obviously). I tried pointing out to my FIL that a lot of the great chefs are male and that he, himself, used to cook a lot of the family meals but he won't budge on the play kitchen issue.

What do you all think? Would you buy your sons a play kitchen if they wanted one? Do you think there's anything wrong with a boy playing with a kitchen?

Note: I don't want to turn this into another gay debate. Neither my husband or I share my FIL's opinions on that issue. I just want your opinions on buying a boy a toy kitchen.

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Isobel - posted on 11/22/2010

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Even if it WERE a girl toy (which it's clearly not), it kinda has to be said that having a girly toy is no more going to "turn" you gay than not having said toy can stop you from being gay.

JuLeah - posted on 11/22/2010

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Yah can't make a person gay. A strong man, a good solid man knows how to cook. A strong man, a good solid man knows how to care for his baby.
Would you buy your girls a truck, or a tool kit, or a ball and bat?
Your FIL is not just a homophobe, but seems to dislike and disrespect women. How much do you want him around your son?

Petra - posted on 11/22/2010

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Just ignore him & get the kitchen... outdated, homophobic ideas like this shouldn't be given any credence. He'll get over it - unless, of course, your boy turns out to be gay, then he'll feel validated. I've seen it happen.

Desiree - posted on 11/22/2010

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The last time I looked the greatest chefs in the world and through the centuries where both male and married. Someone is a little behind the times. there is nothing wrong with it, It is probably because he sees both your husband and yourself in the kitchen that he wants to copy you, and with time he will change his mind.. he is only a little boy after all. Enjoy it, because when he becomes a big boy and starts to see that his friends don't play in kitchens he will decide for himself that this is not for him.

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61 Comments

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Tara - posted on 11/23/2010

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lol we just gave my 1 year old a kitchen for his first birthday this past Sunday!

Shannon - posted on 11/23/2010

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I see nothing wrong with it. My 2 1/2 yr old is getting a play kitchen for christmas. He always trys to help me in the kitchen so I figured he could have his own kitchen.

[deleted account]

Haven't read the other comments yet but just have to say that male chefs are SEXY! Absolutely NOTHING wrong with a man who likes to cook. Only another man would think that!

Nikkole - posted on 11/23/2010

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My son asked for a kitchen for xmas and he will be 3 next month he LOVES to pretend cook for me and my family! ITs really cute and i see no problem with it my husband cooks and he isnt gay now i dont think i would let me son play with makeup and nail polish and stuff like that but kitchen id get him one!

Michelle - posted on 11/23/2010

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I think he should have a play kitchen if that's what he likes!! I run a home daycare and honestly the boys here play with ours more then the girls! I also don't have issues's with buys playing with dolls either:o) Hope your little man got his kitchen!

Lacye - posted on 11/23/2010

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Go buy it! If it is something that your son loves and you know he would have fun with, go get it. I don't see anything wrong with a little boy playing with a play kitchen.

Amy - posted on 11/23/2010

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my 4 year old son has a play kitchen and a doll, and my daughter loves trucks and cars. i think its really cute when my son is taking care of his 'baby' and making me pretend dinner on his kitchen, i think having a doll also teaches them about caring for someone/thing else.

Kate CP - posted on 11/22/2010

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We got all Melissa and Doug fake foods for our daughter. They come held together with velcro and a "knife" so he can practice cutting safely. And they're all wood and just feed nice in your hands. My daughter loves to make "soup". :)

On another note...I would never buy a boy Barbies. Then again, I would never buy a girl Barbies, either. I hate that doll. :P

Krista - posted on 11/22/2010

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Wanda, I like the cut of your MIL's jib. Good for her for ignoring her husband's silliness.

Rosie - posted on 11/22/2010

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i bought my boys one last year for christmas. they love it and that's all that matters to me.

[deleted account]

There is nothing worng with play kitchens. Many men grow up to enjoy cooking and make a good career out of it. I don't see why cooking should be a girl only thing anymore than trains and trucks should be kept for boys.

April - posted on 11/22/2010

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what about a compromise if there is no way out of this? my son has a toy grill that he absolutely loves. His fav is the kitchen too actually. We used to have one and it got ruined..had to throw it away.

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010

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my MIL bought my son fake food from Aldi for $3 he loves it and I keep telling him the names hoping he'll start talking soon hahah

Amanda - posted on 11/22/2010

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There is absolutley nothing wrong with him playing with a toy kitchen!! Who knows maybe he'll be a famous chef someday!! Geez some people are too quick to judge anymore. I would get him one, if it would make him happy! There is nothing wrong with it, and kids will play with what makes them happy, and what they are interested in! Go with your gut! :)

[deleted account]

I knew you guys would all agree with me :)

My MIL bought the kitchen and it's in the bed of my FILs truck as I type. She's on her way to buy more accessories (sp?) to go with it. My son was at his cousin's yesterday for her birthday and spent the entire time playing with the kitchen with another little boy. I had to point that out to my FIL.

Just this morning my son and I baked ginger bread men, he had a blast decorating them. I know this kitchen will be his favorite gift this year.

[deleted account]

I don't have a problem with it =] At the end of the day the majority of chefs are men! I'm not phased by homosexuality at all but as far as I was aware I have yet to see one gay chef.

Esther - posted on 11/22/2010

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I've been looking into buying one for my almost 3 year old son! He plays with it all the time at school. Leaving the homophobic argument aside - It never even struck me as a girl-type-toy. My dad always cooked the meals at our house. He's a phenomenal cook. My husband isn't great in the kitchen but he certainly cooks his share of meals too. Even when I was pregnant I always said that one of the things I really looked forward to was being able to cook with my son when he got a little older. He's already helping out with little things like making garlic bread. I really don't get the problem.

Kira - posted on 11/22/2010

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i bought my son a play kitchen for this christmas :) i see no problem there! I for one as a mom want my son to be able to cook lovely meals for his future wife and family! Its a wonderful quality and skill to have.

Amanda - posted on 11/22/2010

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I bet you any money chef Ramsay played with kitchens as a child - look where it got him :)

LaCi - posted on 11/22/2010

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I'd buy my son anything he enjoyed. If he wants barbies I'll buy them. Don't care.

[deleted account]

Your FIL is a fruitcake. I wouldn't buy my son one, but for only one reason.... we don't have the room for it. Otherwise... he would LOVE it. He plays at the one at his cousin's (also all boys) house all the time and the one in the toddler room at church (when he isn't using the vaccuum there).

Nichole - posted on 11/22/2010

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I say if he likes it get it for him. Genderstereo types are dumb. We get a lot of comments about buying Dora the Explorer toys for our little boy. But he just LOVES her and she teaches Spanish (so we're all for him liking it). He also loves Ki lan (the nickelodeon show with a girl that teaches chinese)....also "girly" aparently. We also got a funny look when family asked what he wanted for christmas and we said "toy cleaning supplies, like a vaccum, mop, broom, etc". But he loves helping us clean up, so he'd get a kick out of his own supplies. Apparently those are "girl" toys. Ooops.. Well if it makes him "gay" or "femnine" at least he's happy. And I really don't think the toys you play with decide your sexuality...though they influence how masculine or femnine a person is. But it's not like our boy plays with only "girly" things, he loves sports (to watch & play with sporty toys), cars, blocks, and your typical "boy" toys. Honestly I think a balance could be good, maybe it will make him an athletic, sensative guy when he's older, just like his daddy. :)

Kate CP - posted on 11/22/2010

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Play kitchens are great! They encourage imaginative play and creativity AND independence. When my son is old enough to play with the one we got our daughter he will. I don't want my 15 year old to come into the kitchen and say "Mom, I don't know how to make spaghetti. Will you do it for me?"

Laura - posted on 11/22/2010

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My 4 and 2 year old boys got one last year for x-mas from my in-laws as well as a package of play food and play pots and pans. They love it and bring us all "supper" And they love to help mommy and grandma in the kitchen when we bake or cook. There is nothing wrong with it at all. I'm hoping they'll want to learn so when they get old enough they can start cooking meals for me ;) It is a wonderful toy for young kids of all genders.



Oh and Tracey my 2 year old loves to dust and vacuum with me, he even got a toy vacuum from grandma :)

Tracey - posted on 11/22/2010

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Sounds like my FIL who believes my son is disabled because I send him to a special school where he copies other disabled children.

Suggest to your FIL that instead of a kitchen you have decided to buy your son the biggest loudest drum kit (which considering most drummers are men must be a suitable present?) you can find but due to space restrictions it is staying at HIS house.

Will he use the same arguement in 5 years time that doing housework makes you gay if you ask your son to help with the dusting or vacuuming?

Bonnie - posted on 11/22/2010

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There is nothing wrong with a boy playing with a toy kitchen, I actually wanted to get my boys one last year. They had a really good deal on one somewhere, but when we went to go get it, they were sold out. There are many men who are good cooks. Heck there are a majority of male chefs in restaurants. Emeril Lagassi, Gordon Ramsay, Mario Batali...all great chefs who are men and they are not gay. Nothing wrong with it.

I also wanted to add that I would rather my boys play with a toy kitchen than bang my pots and pans together and put things in them, which they do by the way.

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2010

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My nephew just turned 2 and had a big ole birthday bash! Those who didn't know him got him trucks and "boy toys". I got him a baby doll set, he also got some dressup stuff, nail polish etc etc. I hate genderized toys. Letting him have a toy kitchen isn't going to make him gay, worst case scenario, he will be a well rounded little boy with a wonderful imagination. Both boys AND girls can (and should) knwo how to cook, do laundry, fix basic car problems, care for a baby (doll) and clean house. It's part of being a well rounded human being, not part of being a man or woman. Get the kitchen and ignore your FIL's ideas!

Krista - posted on 11/22/2010

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I see nothing wrong with a boy using a play kitchen and a man using a real kitchen. Your FIL needs to get with the times. I absolutely loathe it when people try to pressure kids out of toys/interests that they love because they don't fit neatly into predetermined, traditional gender roles.



Tell him to watch Michael Smith's show for awhile -- there's a good Island boy, obviously very manly, and he spends, oh, a decent amount of time in the kitchen, I'd say!

ME - posted on 11/22/2010

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My son has a play kitchen at his grandma and grandpa's house. It's one of his favorite toys....I didn't have a problem with it when she got it out (it used to be hers)...I would have one for Miles here, but we don't have a lot of space for stuff like that...

[deleted account]

It's the Step 2 life-like kitchen, right? We had that one for a few years and it was the FAVORITE toy between my son & nephews! Very realistic with the cabinets, sounds, fake ofod, pots & pans! Plus some of the best professional chefs are MEN! Ugh! The gender neutral kitchens are awesome and one of the best investments we ever made. Not to mention a higher resale value on CL! OMG we spent so much time with the play kitchen I was contemplating buying one for my mom's house, since all the boys spent a lot of time there as well. One tip, DON'T try to assemble it the night before X-mas. If at all possible, spread out the assembly over a few days. Plan to be frustrated. It took my hubby & brother about 4 fricken hours to put the kitchen together. It was for my son's 2nd birthday. Sadly, it just stopped being played wit this past summer as he has other interests, so I sold it. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Erm well I did single handedly turn my cousin gay by dressing him up in my dresses when we were kids...oh wait no he has never changed and has always been flamboyant - we love him for it. Nothing you can do to a person will make them gay, let kids play with whatever toys they want.

Ethan loves playing with my pots and pans, we have got to get him some of his own, he puts stuff in them as if he is cooking lol. When he is older if he still likes kitchen things we'll get him a kitchen, it is no big deal.

He also rocks his teddies like a baby, it is so cute, he had a Hulk teddy from my brother for his birthday and he was rocking him like a baby the other day, it is natural for them to do it, I have never taught him.

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2010

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Ugh that would piss me off. Kids should be allowed to play with whatever they want! The only reason I'm not buying my son a play kitchen is because it would take up too much room in our living room. But he loves to pretend to cook when we give him a pot and a wooden spoon- he puts blocks and other little toys in and stirs them (he's 17 months). Hell I've been considering getting him a doll- just one of the plain kinds, not a pink frilly one lol, because he's interested in other babies and is getting a little brother soon, and loves his stuffed animals so why not?

Stifler's - posted on 11/21/2010

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Haha just buy him the toy kitchen. There's nothing wrong with a boy playing with a play kitchen just like there's nothing wrong with girls playing with trucks.

[deleted account]

Sometimes I still can't believe that in this day and age, people still have such backwards thinking! Your son sounds exactly like mine. Jacob is 3 and he's ALWAYS helping in the kitchen. I even bought him his own little stool just for the kitchen, so he can get up there and help. He's right by my side whenever I'm in there. If I'm cutting veggies, he gets his own little cutting board and I let him use his toddler knife (nothing sharp about it) to "cut" (more like saw/hack lol) some veggies. He usually eats more than he cuts lol He helps me make his sandwiches every day, gets the jelly and bread out of the fridge and the peanut butter from the pantry. The only thing I'm not comfortable with yet is letting him near the stove when it's on. He's only 3 and I just don't want him to learn the hard way just how hot a burner can be. He also immediately runs straight for any play kitchen he sees so we're getting him one for Christmas. He already has his own toy set of pots, pans and cooking utensils. So no, I see nothing wrong with you getting your son a play kitchen.
P.S. If my son wanted a doll....I'd probably get him one of those too. :)

Johnny - posted on 11/21/2010

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BAWAHA Vicki! My dad burned our old vinyl record of Free to Be You & Me onto a CD for my daughter. She absolutely positively hates it and whenever I try to put it on she just screams, "don't like, stop it now" and tries to run up the stairs.

Meghan - posted on 11/21/2010

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my son loves his play kitchen. He also loves helping me in the kitchen. I think it also encourages imagination too...he has come up with some pretty awesome food ideas lol.
He also has a doll and a purse...HA

[deleted account]

btw ikea as an amazing kitchen with tons of stuff to add to it. $150 (canadian) and not crappy pink plastic but wood (if it is actually real wood from ikea :)

we have one of those creepy looking dolls that look like real infants. daughter doesn't have the time of day for it. son loves it. well, loves chewing it. just gotta make sure he is not chewing the anatomically correct parts. don't want to make him gay after all. especially while I'm blaring the barry manilow or joseph or fiddler on the roof cd's.

get your FIL a copy of Free To Be You and Me from the 70s. William wants a doll and all that.

Amie - posted on 11/21/2010

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Of course I would. My son loves to bake! He's 6 and has helped with a bunch of the Christmas goodies already. He's learning fast, soon enough I can leave the two oldest to do it all for me. HAHAHA It's a nice dream.

My in laws have a play kitchen at their place that all the kids play with. There's nothing wrong with a boy playing with a toy kitchen or learning how to work in a real kitchen (at an appropriate age obviously) it's a useful skill in life!

Katherine - posted on 11/21/2010

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I think it would confuse a little boy more to deny him things like that. We don't tell little girls they can't watch Diego or play with trucks....or pretend to be firefighters etc...

Becky - posted on 11/21/2010

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I would absolutely buy my boys a play kitchen! In fact, I've been thinking about it, but dh says they have a little stove and that's good enough. He just doesn't think they need any more toys!
My boys will be taking their turns in the real kitchen when they're old enough, so I don't see how a play kitchen is any different.
My son loves the play kitchen at his grandma's house too. He also loves Dora. Dh isn't quite so cool about that one.

Julie - posted on 11/21/2010

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I would abosolutely buy my son a kitchen. Actually, I'm thinking of one for my son's third b-day. Tell FIL to get over it!

Katherine - posted on 11/21/2010

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Well......you aren't going to change him or his ways. So...you will just have to say, "I am getting him a kitchen, please respect my decision."
Like it's POOF going to turn him gay, give me a break!! My daughters best friend who happens to be a boy, has a baby AND a stroller for his BABY.
And really who cares if he were to be gay? It wouldn't be from the damn toy kitchen! UGH!

Jodi - posted on 11/21/2010

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My son used to play in Home Corner all the time when he was in daycare - it was his favourite place to play. I never bought him a play kitchen. If he'd really wanted one I would have, but he was happy playing with the one at daycare. I did, however, buy him a baby doll because he did ask for one of them.



My brother is a pastry chef, and he is NOT gay. He just became a chef because he was always the one who loved to hang out in the kitchen and cook. He never had a play kitchen, but then, neither did I.



Your FIL needs to get a life, seriously!! Does he not realise that a person isn't going to "turn" gay because of the toys you provide????

Sharon - posted on 11/21/2010

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lmfao - get the kid a play kitchen and decorate it with Bobby Flay, Emeril, Alton Brown, Wolfgang Puck etc logos. Easy enough with all their products. Well as long as the chef isn't gay - I don't keep track of that stuff so I don't know.

Get the kid a kitchen. My son loved his, he also loved his nerf guns.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/21/2010

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PSS...if he feels that strongly about it, tell him to get your son something really macho..a jock strap and a cup! Never catch a women wearing that ensamble (sp?)

[deleted account]

LOL @ Loureen

That's what I'm thinking - maybe, I'm raising the next Ramsay (as Carol mentioned), or Alton Brown or Bobby Flay or Robert Irvine (my personal favs).

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