Jo Frost - Supernanny

Karla - posted on 07/25/2011

I haven’t read all the post, but thought I would answer the OP.

I used to watch Super Nanny once in a while. I don’t watch it now because the PARENTS drive me nuts. The episodes I watched invariably had a wishy-washy mom who doesn’t know how to follow through with her kids. (AKA, if I (mommy) tell you its bath-time and you don’t respond then I start the tub, I get you, go with you to get your jammies, take you to the tub, and see that you are immersed and washing up.) How hard is it for mom to stop what she’s doing and guide that child in the way they should go?

And then Dad, disengaged… every time I watched the father was totally disengaged. What made it all worse is then the parents would blame each other for the kids’ bad behavior. Omg

So, I actually like Jo because she would teach the parents to be engaged with their children. Take time to play, take time to guide them, take time to talk with them – family time. It amazed me that so many families don’t already do this as a matter of course.

Anyway, I don’t always agree with Jo’s methods, but I think they work fairly well with dysfunctional families who are trying to get healthy.

Amie - posted on 07/25/2011

Sherri,

You misunderstand. When laying down an infant or toddler while doing CIO you check and make sure they've been fed, changed, etc. You make sure their physical needs are met and you gradually get them used to being alone in their bed.

I did a mild form of this with my own kids. Their beds were still in our room but we wanted them to be used to their beds because we knew one day they wouldn't be in our rooms. So we'd get them all snuggled in and ready for bed, all their needs were met - then we'd lay them down and let them fall asleep. If they fussed, we'd go back in to check on them, etc. every few minutes. With one of ours we never even left the room for the first 4 days. We sat there with her and patted her back while she drifted off. After that we moved onto sitting for a few minutes and then leaving, going back if she fussed, etc.

What I was meeting was their emotional needs. Their physical needs had all been met but they still wanted me or my husband near them. So we went to them and slowly got them used to their own beds. I did not, and never would, just leave them to cry and scream because they had to get used to their own beds. Infant or not - a need is not being met.

That is why I said, I can not be this cold and callous with my children. Though, it might have been in the other thread though too.
-------

Jennifer,

"Timeouts should only be used as a last resort (if parents choose to use them as a punishment in place of spanking). I prefer to treat timeouts as a tool for my children to learn to calm themselves down. Not as a punishment. I want to encourage my children to take their own timeouts when they are feeling out of control. Which cannot be achieved if I use them as a punishment.

I have never seen Jo Frost promote natural/logical consequences which I feel is a very important tool for all parents."

I fully agree! We parent much the same way over here.
-------
Sara,

"setting up rewards"

This is something I have another issue with. I don't reward my children for good behavior, not in a structured manner like this. I tried it at one point but what I ended up with was children doing things so they could get the reward. They didn't learn to do things because they just should or because it was a nice thing to do - they did things to get ___. I view it much like bribing. It lasted about 3 weeks in our house and I tossed it.

My kids do get "rewards" for good behavior but it's not something they see coming. They get it afterwards as a surprise. Usually a trip to get an ice cream treat, a new toy, etc.
Maybe this works for some families but it doesn't work for us.

We do have a chore chart though. It lets everyone know whose chores are what. It also has all the extra's on it for how our kids can earn extra money. To get their allowance all they need to do is participate in the household and make sure their regular chores are done. Which aren't much and are age appropriate. I really should look at that though, we've been owing our oldest a lot of money at the end of each week. She just doesn't quit when she wants something though (she's saving money for something - I don't remember what), so we'll see. lol

Esther - posted on 07/25/2011

Yes, I disagree too that she uses them at every interval. She often tells parents not to overuse them and not to use them for minor infractions. They also always get a warning before the time-out.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2011

Timeout isn't the only method she uses though......she encourages positive parenting, praising the kids, setting up rewards and making sure that the kids are spending enough time with their parents.
She gives the parents WAY more tools than just timeouts.

Sherri - posted on 07/25/2011

Hmmmm we use time outs a lot Jennifer and never have they become ineffective. Just them knowing that if they misbehave it will happen, usually keeps them well behaved. It isn't the punishment that becomes ineffective as long as they know the parent is always consistent. It is the consistence that makes any discipline method effective.

Jenni - posted on 07/25/2011

I use to love Jo Frost while I was pregnant with my first. Her ideologies on parenting seemed to make sense to me at the time. I'd nod, and think; "I'd implement that strategy if I were in that situation."

Until I actually had my son and didn't feel right about some of her methods. At the same time though, I'm sure many of her strategies may work for some families depending on their family philosophy. I just learned that they were not *my* family philosophy.



I also believe her methods fit the purpose of the show which is ultimately meant for entertainment purposes. She has to whip an out of control family into shape in a week. She has only a week to boast results. So to all intents and purposes her methods suit her show.



I think her methods do fit the balance between AP parenting vs (ok I'm not sure of the opposite term of AP but let's use...) parent-led styles. In order to appeal to a broader audience.



I also agree that unless the parents adhere to her methods after the show, they will fall back into the same routine. As I'm sure many participants on the show do.



I also don't agree with her use of timeouts as a punishment. I think the initial use of timeouts as a punishment will shock the children into 'obedience' for fear of the timeout. Especially in a household (like many of the ones on her show) where the children have zero boundaries and zero consequences for negative actions. But she seems to condone using them at every interval, which I believe will inevitably deem them ineffective. Once the shock wears off. It would be the same as any 'punishment' when overused. Even many spanking parents agree that if they were to use spanking at every interval it would become ineffective. So they also use natural/logical consequences and spanking as a last resort. The same should be addressed with 'timeouts' as a punishment.



Timeouts should only be used as a last resort (if parents choose to use them as a punishment in place of spanking). I prefer to treat timeouts as a tool for my children to learn to calm themselves down. Not as a punishment. I want to encourage my children to take their own timeouts when they are feeling out of control. Which cannot be achieved if I use them as a punishment.



I have never seen Jo Frost promote natural/logical consequences which I feel is a very important tool for all parents.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2011

One episode I watched the other morning, and Jo actually did arrange for both the parents to have anger management.

I've also seen LOADS of episodes where she has sat down and spoken to the mum (or dad) and traced some their behaviours back to what happened when they were kids, or back to the traumatic births, or a whole multitude of things. Jo has sent many couples for counselling, anger management etc.

She may not fix those deeper issues herself, but she refers them to the appropriate people to help.

Esther - posted on 07/25/2011

I haven't read all the responses so I apologize if I'm being repetitive. I personally LOVE Jo Frost. I want her to come live with me (minus the cameras). I think she's kind, caring and very good at what she does. I've probably seen every last episode (some multiple times) and I have yet to see any family end up worse for having received her help. When she leaves the kids seem very fond of her (often bawling their eyes out when she leaves) so clearly they weren't traumatized by her methods of discipline either. I also think she's much tougher on the parents than the kids, and rightfully so.



I did read some responses and someone mentioned that she couldn't possibly know these families based on one entry video. Well, it seems obvious that that's not how this show works anyway. Of course the show will do pre-interviews with these families and do some upfront research beyond the video. Of course it's also not Jo Frost by herself doing this. I have zero doubt that there is a team of psychologists etc. involved in this show. When there have been children with special needs, they've even brought in experts on the show to help.



The blog mentioned: "Ms. Frost’s approach to family crises is stunningly simple-minded; it’s the narrowness of her repertoire, not merely the constraints of the medium, that lead her to ignore the important questions. She never stops to ask whether the demands of work and kids could be more gracefully reconciled if high-quality, low-cost daycare was available. She doesn’t even inquire into psychological issues. Are the parents’ expectations appropriate for the age of the child? Might something deeper than a lack of skills explain why they respond, or fail to respond, to their children as they do? How were they raised?"



This criticism is ridiculous to me. Her role is to go in as a nanny and help parents get a grip on their children and their lives. She's not there to provide social commentary, nor to do in-depth psycho-analysis. We have CNN and Dr Phil for that. However, she DOES often go into people's personal issues that may be driving their parenting choices. One particular father comes to mind who had alcohol abuse issues and Jo confronted him (multiple times) and got him to start going to AA.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2011

I don't think her methods are a quick fix though......as someone else pointed out earlier, the show is edited down to fit into an hour, there's probably a lot of stuff that happens that isn't actually shown.

Plus, as I've said before, I've yet to hear of a child being scarred for life by the methods used. I can totally understand an AP parent not being on board with some of the methods used, but I don't think that automatically means that the methods are bad ones. A lot of the posts on this thread say that different methods work for different kids........so maybe these methods ARE the right ones for some of these kids. Maybe these kids wouldn't respond to any AP techniques. I don't think you can say that different kids need different things but not allow that to include anything that doesn't fit into your AP principles.

A point about the co-sleeping/bed sharing thing. I've said before and I'll say again.........just because a parent doesn't let their kids sleep in the bed, doesn't mean that no comfort is being given. I comfort my kids when they wake in the night, and then put them in their own bed where they happily go back to sleep. We sleep better that way. If people sleep better with their kids there, that's cool, but it's not the best way for every family.

Sherri - posted on 07/25/2011

As I am not knocking parents for doing it either. I am completely referring to this one situation that is being discussed.

To answer your question Amie because at 6yrs old a child can completely understand what is expected of them. An infant needs to be fed etc. a 6yr old does not need this and simply wants to sleep with her parents. There is a world of difference.

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

Yeah I get all that and I'm not knockin it, just isn't for me and I couldn't deal with all that.

Amie - posted on 07/25/2011

Ah but Emma, most parents who practice AP parenting don't just kick their kids out of bed one day. It's a gradual process and not based solely on "us" not wanting the kids there anymore.

I actually can't think of a good reason that my kids shouldn't sleep with us when they need it. (Notice I said I - as in I am referring to my family) We all sleep well, there's room for everyone if need be (we've never had all 4 sleep with us at the same time though, they've also never all needed to during the same night), we can have sex in other places and do - anything I'm missing? For us, it works.

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

That's why I don't and never have bedshared. I'm too lazy to deal with these sort of problems of mixed messages to my children... yes you can sleep in our bed... now you can't anymore because we don't feel like it... of course it's going to be hard for your kid to accept.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

Sherri you are completely missing the point.

It is NOT about what works. It is about the action itself.

Just because a technique "works" does not mean it is ok.

That is what Erin is saying.

And yes, they did close her in her room and shut the door. It doesn't matter what comes before that. They are still leaving a child, for all intents and purposes, locked in her room to "get over it" and "deal" on her own.

That is why AP parents or AP leaning parents have an issue with it. To us, that is unacceptable.

I'm going to go back to infants and toddlers for a second. If a mom on here admitted to doing such a thing with a child that young everyone and their dog would be all over her. So why then is it ok for an older child? It's not. What comes before does not matter in the moment.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

Sherri you are completely missing the point.

It is NOT about what works. It is about the action itself.

Just because a technique "works" does not mean it is ok.

That is what Erin is saying.

And yes, they did close her in her room and shut the door. It doesn't matter what comes before that. They are still leaving a child, for all intents and purposes, locked in her room to "get over it" and "deal" on her own.

That is why AP parents or AP leaning parents have an issue with it. To us, that is unacceptable.

I'm going to go back to infants and toddlers for a second. If a mom on here admitted to doing such a thing with a child that young everyone and their dog would be all over her. So why then is it ok for an older child? It's not. What comes before does not matter in the moment.

Sherri - posted on 07/24/2011

Eh sorry but in my eyes it kind of is what works for the parents. Obviously their situation was not working and a change had to be made. They explained in great detail to a 6yr old and didn't just throw her in her room slam the door and say goodnight and leave her. They read her a book, gave hugs and kisses tucked her in her own bed. She choose to sleep on the floor outside their bedroom it certainly didn't hurt her. Kids sleep on their bedroom floors by choice all the time.

It is no different then throwing away a bottle or pacifier cold turkey and the child having a fit about it. It is change and different and children sometimes have issues with it. They quickly realize through consistency that this is the new way it is going to be and adjust.

Erin - posted on 07/24/2011

No, you've missed my point. I'm not making a comparison between hitting and the Supernanny techniques. I'm saying the fact that it 'works' for them is irrelevant when judging whether something is right or not.

Sherri - posted on 07/24/2011

Who ever said hit or hurt the little girl Erin?? You analogy is assine.

Erin - posted on 07/24/2011

Having it 'work' for the parents is not justification for doing anything. Belting her around the ear each time she got up might have 'worked' for them too. Doesn't make it right.

Look, I'm not saying a child should be allowed to bedshare if the parent/s are miserable with the situation. I just happen to disagree with these particular methods.

And yes, this particular child (from the other thread) may be an extreme example. The mother may have tried other things to no avail, and she may have felt like she was out of options. But we don't know. We don't know what she's tried, or for how long. We don't know what sort of conversations she's had with the girl, or what reason the girl gives for wanting to sleep with her mother. That's my whole issue with the show (or what I've seen of it.. like I said in the other thread, I haven't seen it in a few years). It is a quick fix - at any cost - to what is probably a long-term problem. It doesn't cover the why. As Amie said, it punishes the child for the parents' mistakes, and I don't see how that is fair.

Sherri - posted on 07/24/2011

Obviously the parents having their child fall asleep outside their bedroom on the floor worked for them. Jo never told them to do that, she said place her back in her own bed.. However, they did want help to get her out of their bed and obviously that really wasn't working for them so that is what they did. Kudos to them in my book for sticking to their guns and I can bet she now sleeps in her bed every night without an issue because they are consistent with it. I seriously doubt she is damaged or traumatized. I bet the family as a whole is a heck of lot more rested a happier during the day because the ultimate goal that they wanted has been reached.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

Yes, I remember our oldest and our 3rd doing the same thing. If it's a part of the routine though and doesn't change, it works over time. Our 3rd (4 yrs old) still wants us to lay down with her sometimes but it's not often. Well so does our oldest for that matter (11 yrs).



When we first did this with them too, it was something new. They didn't want to be in our room but they didn't want to go to asleep alone. So we asked if they wanted us to lay down with them. The first week or so, with each of them, it took anywhere from 15 min to 2/3 hours to get them to sleep. It also depended on the day they had. If they had a lazy day and didn't do much to work off their energy, they definitely had a harder time going to sleep.



The only real problem I have with this method though - our 4 yr old likes to wrap herself around you while she's going to sleep. It's why I wait 5-10 min. after they're sleeping. They have time to fall into a deeper sleep and won't wake when I disentangle myself. lol



Edit:



Once I realized the pattern of them not going to bed easily. We started giving them time to run like mad before bed, right after their night time snack.

Erin - posted on 07/24/2011

Nobody is saying these families don't need help, or that some aren't completely out of control. Disagreeing with Frost's methods has nothing to do with that. Most of us have also conceded that she does have some basic principles that can be useful if applied properly.

But I can not agree with an approach that results in a child sleeping on the floor outside her mother's locked bedroom door. That is hideous. I don't like CIO, so obviously I'm going to have an issue with her sleeping techniques.

As for her 20 years experience with children, I 100% agree with Amie on this. Looking after children is vastly different to raising them. She doesn't have the maternal instinct and bond guiding her to decide what is the right thing to do. She doesn't have the pressure of being entirely responsible for that child's emotional and physical well-being. And I'm sure that makes it easier for her to implement some of these techniques.

Ashley=) - posted on 07/24/2011

Yes we have tried.Its hit and miss.There are nights it has worked and were delighted.We think okay we got there.
Next night shes screaming and won't go back to her room.Its up and down to be honest.It has been the only hurdle we have had with her.
My second child is 2 and has slept in her own space all night and still does.She gets in to her bed and off to sleep she goes.I really have no clue what i am doing wrong.
As a baby i refused to continue the cio method.I never ignored her want for comfort.I tried at 3 to get her to her room.Slowly.Then it became clear it was not going to be easy.I will try it again.Laying with her in her room.I will try anything.As at this age i feel its important.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

Ashely, have you tried laying with her in her own room in her bed? It's how ours need us sometimes, they don't want to be in our room but don't want to go to sleep alone. So we lay down with them, talk quietly, stroke their hair and kind of lull them to sleep.

Ashley=) - posted on 07/24/2011

I have tried it all to get my first born to sleep in her own space.It did not work.She co-slept for 3&half years and then falls asleep in our bed and moved to her own.Nothing worked.The crying stops us i think.It won't kill them.Which is worse a week at most of Jo's method for leaving it as it hurts to hear them cry and have a daughter like mine.
I do regret it now shes nearly 7.I want her to be okay but nothing i do will make her okay with going to bed and falling asleep in her bed.This parenting is tough i tell you all at times..lol.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

I wouldn't call her. That's the point. I'm not sure where this got turned around but we were discussing her and her methods. Not why she's going into homes.

There's nothing bad about helping a family in need. I wouldn't help them the same way and I sure wouldn't go about it in a quick fix fashion. I view it like I do spanking, there is no quick fix that suits our lifestyle so we won't do it. Spanking, to me, is a quick fix and unacceptable in my home. Just as are many techniques that are too harsh with children.

They are children, they are learning, they are curious, they like to test boundaries. I do not agree with punishing children for their parents mistakes. Yes, these parents obviously need help but there are examples I can not agree with.

Getting rid of co-sleeping because it doesn't fit in HER model of how a family should run.
Naughty steps because a child didn't obey. =/ I'm not a dictator to my children. They get time outs to cool off, not as punishment.
etc. I can't and won't agree with this.

CIO for older children, in my eyes, is definitely worse because it's not like it is with older infants and toddlers. At least the parents at that time (on the whole) have enough compassion to go about it slowly and allow their child time to adjust. They don't just lay them down, shut down contact (which is what you are doing to your child if you're not responding and just putting them back to their bed when they're obviously stressed about the change) and ignore their screaming and crying. Older children can communicate and can be better prepared, they can be talked with and transitioned over easily - if a parent is willing to put in the work of putting their child at ease. I don't agree with allowing a child to scream for hours just because the parents waited so long to start transitioning them. That is the parents issue and the child is being punished for it.

Also, siblings will always feel left out at one point or another. Everything comes back to the parents and their failure. What happens when someone like this comes in though, she shows the parents their folly but is punishing the children to get them used to a new routine fast. It's how I see it and have explained it that way. I won't agree with this.

Ashley=) - posted on 07/24/2011

We all know what to do as parents.

What many don't know is when to start and how to keep it going when the going gets tough.

Shes fantasic at this.We all have to tailor things to our kids but for most the same technique will work more times than not.

The rest is showing the parents they have the will power and the technique to stay going.They don't need her there to do it anymore.The parents can do this.That is the point there the parents.They don't need her there to do this or show them for life.



Cio method for older kids is fine but personally for me i could not do it for babies or toddlers.

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/24/2011

I'm undecided.
I know I'd never do the sleep method
I've tried the time out method with great success
I greatly appreciate the advise to squat down and give eye contact with a clear warning
I like how she makes parents step up and play with their kids.
I like it that she opposes spanking
I like it that she obsesses over making kids safe, locks on doors, pool alarms.
I don't agree with forcing kids to eat
Her time out method is ok, but it needs a better amount of discussing, not just you did what I said not to so I'm punishing you. I think kids deserve more of explanations and a chance to ask questions.
Her sleep method for a co sleeping 14 month old made me literally sick in my stomach. I actually turned off that episode I cried for him. Making moms go against their gut instincts is wrong IMO
If it feels wrong to let your kid cry then it's probably wrong for your kid.
If you feel like they really are fine then they probably are fine.
But Jo makes moms listen to their kids cry when the mom feels it's wrong. And that I think is sad

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/24/2011

The whole point is, she is helping fix families that really really need help. Why is that a bad thing? You may not agree with her style, but isn't it important that she helps people implement tools that fix the structure of a family instead of young kids leaving the home unnoticed, 8 year olds not wiping their own butts, children hitting parents, parents screaming so loud neighbors can hear, parents and children completely not playing or communicating together? Siblings feeling left out? I mean she addresses each family differently, points out the areas that need to be worked on, and gets to work fixing problems. I would think any parent would want to support a happy healthy household, instead of the typical house she goes and helps.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/24/2011

Yes Amie, that was me who stated that. It was in Missouri where I lived at the time. It was a wealthy family looking for their 15 minutes of fame. They had no true interest in fixing their families problems. Apparently her kids are still out of control the last I hear. I was living there at the time, so it was kinda a big deal

She gives tools to fix immediate problems, and the families, after they have been fixed, and continue to run smoothly, adapt their lifestyle.

Cathy - posted on 07/24/2011

The parents have had many years to find a way on their own. She doesn't have all the time in the world to help them find a way on their own... why call her if you don't want to try her techniques?

For the most part when she returns to visit after a month (or however long she leaves it) she is full of praise for parents who have introduced their own spins on her suggestions. She genuinely seems most impressed to see parents and kids having fun together, listening and talking to each other and parents enforcing boundaries not whether or not they continued with the sticker chart.



*edit to add* Night Amie!

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

She's applying tools, schedules, routines, etc. She supplies the whole shebang. Which then would (presumably) fall apart if it's not followed. Did someone else not post about a family who had her come in, then didn't follow through after she left? Might have been the other thread.

There is no point to getting your kids used to one method if you are going to change it. That causes confusion for the children. Growing pains and trying to find the way are different and are not what she does.

She does not go in with her handbag of tools and helps the parents understand each so they can decide what will work for their family. She tells them what they should do and that this will work - then implements it. That is the point of the video submission and her day to watch the family. Not to help the parents find a way but to tell the parents which of her techniques they need to use to reign in their children.

I haven't heard anyone state that they've taken offense to her technique. There have been a few who have said they don't agree with it and why. Are there people out there like that though? Probably, there's nuts in all forms out there.
I haven't heard anyone state that her way is the only way either. I'm sure there's nutters out there that do though.
I have heard, on both sides of this debate, that there are bits and pieces (depending on the poster the bits and pieces vary) that are techniques that they like as is or with slight changes.
I'm now going to bed, it is so late over here. lol

Cathy - posted on 07/24/2011

Isn't the point for her to come in, do a quick fix and the family to continue with it? No, it's to help with any immediate problems and then to provide parents with the tools they need to continue in a positive manner.



Why go through so much trouble to get that kind of help and then just turn around to mold it into something else? Because once they have the basic tools then the parents can adapt it to work for the individual family.



Why not start right there to begin with? Because she has the basic tools. She does not have an intimate knowledge of each family member. She observes, makes suggestions which areas could do with improvements. And implements basic techniques to improve upon.



Find the method that will work for that family and continue with it? That's the job for the parents once they learn basic discipline techniques and how to properly communicate with their kids.



You would never need her help. You know how to talk to your kids as individuals. You know your family and what works. She is there for the families who don't.



I guess the show is open to interpretation...

Those who think that everything she does should be applied literally with no room for movement and apply it rigorously ...

Those who think that everything she does should be applied literally with no room for movement and take offence that she is questioning their own parenting techniques and object loudly...

And those how see that she has many techniques that can be adapted for their individual circumstances and used to improve general family harmony.

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

**her overall style.

I can't believe I left out an entire word. lol

Amie - posted on 07/24/2011

Isn't the point for her to come in, do a quick fix and the family to continue with it? Why go through so much trouble to get that kind of help and then just turn around to mold it into something else? Why not start right there to begin with? Find the method that will work for that family and continue with it?

Again, she is not someone I would turn too. She has her set of ways and that is what she uses. It's not tailoring it to each family, her delivery may change a bit each time but it's basically the same program for each family.

Isn't that what we debate all the time? How there is no one parenting style for every family? Her style is not for my family and many families.

Cathy - posted on 07/24/2011

Amie - her delivery is tailored to turning a family around, a family where the parents haven't got a clue, in a very short space of time. She isn't there to parent. She there to place some building blocks and structures for a family with totally dysfunctional discipline and communication techniques.
You may consider that cold and calculating. I consider it a quick and intensive course on practical parenting. You admit to using the techniques with a different delivery. These parents have no working methods to apply their own approach to. How they adapt these techniques to continue once she has moved on is up to them.

Stifler's - posted on 07/23/2011

I think she's great. If you're into that. I love Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidence or whatever it's called

Amie - posted on 07/23/2011

My kids were scared of monsters under the bed. We gave them a plastic bat to beat them up. It's what worked for them. Everyone has different ways to handle that. I have no issue with it, it`s not lying - it`s helping them over come their fear. Which probably would have worked fine with just that and waking up with her to go to the bathroom. I did it with our oldest, she still had drinks before bed. Another thing I don`t agree with but no big surprise.



As someone else pointed out, I think it was in the other thread or maybe here, take what you like and toss the rest. I choose to toss most of what she says. It would not work in a family like mine. I do not agree with it.



The number of years of experience is not the point. The point is there is a difference to watching children and actually raising them. A proper nanny, who is not abused by the workers, is not a parent and does not raise the children. I`m not sure why this point never gets through to people. Her number of years experience also include the show (and it`s 21 years) but that`s neither here nor there. If I were to go by the same formula though, I also have 19 years experience dealing with many children and 11 years as a parent.



I will also say if people want to be this kind of parent, that is up to them. I am not one of them. I`m not as cold and calculated with my children. I may use some of the same techniques but my delivery is much different.

Sherri - posted on 07/23/2011

I agree Marina I would eat up and embrace anything she had to share. Although I think my house runs very well, I still think every parent can learn new ways and I would be more than willing to have her come and share her amazing knowledge with my household.

Charlie - posted on 07/23/2011

"The limits of the show, however, are less consequential than the limits of its star. Ms. Frost’s approach to family crises is stunningly simple-minded; it’s the narrowness of her repertoire, not merely the constraints of the medium, that lead her to ignore the important questions. She never stops to ask whether the demands of work and kids could be more gracefully reconciled if high-quality, low-cost daycare was available. She doesn’t even inquire into psychological issues. Are the parents’ expectations appropriate for the age of the child? Might something deeper than a lack of skills explain why they respond, or fail to respond, to their children as they do? How were they raised?"

"Supernanny’s superficiality isn’t accidental; it’s ideological. What these shows are peddling is behaviorism. The point isn’t to raise a child; it’s to reinforce or extinguish discrete behaviors – which is sufficient if you believe, along with the late B.F. Skinner and his surviving minions, that there’s nothing to us other than those behaviors."



Amie I love Alfie Kohn, I think his piece on the supernanny really speaks what I feel about her and her methods.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2011

I love that the people who like her, really understand why they do. I love the fact that she teaches the families how to play with eachother....even the OCD moms that don't like messes. She teaches them how to cope, and games that don't make a mess in the house, or how to play outside. I think she does a fantastic job. Like I said on the other thread, and maybe this one....I would LOVE her to come into my home....she would be VERY welcome here.

Sherri - posted on 07/23/2011

She is positively brilliant. She does not use the same strategies for every family. She tailors ea. solution to every problem for ea. individual family.

She does not break kids. That statement kept coming up in the last thread and is ridiculous. She does nothing but show amazing love and patience for every family she works with.

Sal - posted on 07/23/2011

while she has some trade mark techniques like time outs and rewards charts the thing that i think work is that she finds underlying issues to the problems and it is different for each family, it is dangerous to think that her techniques will work point blank for every family, like all these types of shows and "experts" the advise while it can be good for you is specifically designed for the family in the show

Ashley=) - posted on 07/23/2011

Shes brilliant.Just watch her on those shows.Shes obviously doing something right.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2011

Cathy "A fulltime Nanny with 20+ years experience with children is a tad more experienced than an 18yo babysitter. "

Didn't she live with them also? Like raised 2 different families? Can't remember the exacts, but good point to bring up.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2011

Amie, I was actually referring to people that think they know everything, because they (in their opinion) think everything they do as a parent is correct....not the people who called suppernanny.

Cathy - posted on 07/23/2011

Well the bedwetting consisted of stopping the child drinking an hour before bedtime and insisting that they use the toilet immediately before bed. She also had the parents wake the child up during the night to take them to the bathroom and slowly extending that period till the child was either making it through the night or able to recognize the signs the go to the bathroom themselves. She also addressed the reason that the child was scared of monsters under the bed getting her if she got up during the night. I think she scattered glitter around the bedroom claiming it was fairy dust and it would protect her. It worked .... or do you have a problem with that because she lied?

The families that call on her have NO basics that work for them or they wouldn't need to call her.

A fulltime Nanny with 20+ years experience with children is a tad more experienced than an 18yo babysitter.

Amie - posted on 07/23/2011

"I've seen Jo Frost break children of sleeping and bedwetting issues."

It just may be my issue but children aren't meant to be "broken". They are meant to be taught and led. If there's bedwetting issues that don't stem from a medical reason (our 4 yr old still wears a pull up to bed because she has a small bladder and really can't get up and make it to the bathroom at night in time) there's usually a psychological reason behind it. Did she address that or just "break" the child? I hope it's just the terminology you chose and she did actually find the reason for the bedwetting.

"I disagree with those of you who say it's one size fits all. I think she takes a lot of time getting to know the individual kids, only with the basics does she stand firm. Generally she encourages a positive parenting approach. Enjoy your children rather than treating them as a chore. "

The basics are the problem. Each family has their own basics that will fit for them. You can't get to know a family either in one day and with one interview/video submission. Is there something I'm missing that I haven't heard about? Does she get to know a family in another way?


"I really don't think that has anything to do with her abilities.
There are plenty of teachers, for example, that have no kids, and yet they're wonderful with kids!"

I've said this before in the past and I will say it again. There is a vast difference between being good with kids, being a babysitter and actually raising kids.

I babysat for years before I had my first at 18. While it prepared me for some things (like knowing how to feed a toddler, change a diaper, etc.) it didn't prepare me for real parenthood. There is a difference.

"Some people are not good about asking for help"

This statement is wrong. If these people had trouble asking for help, they never would have contacted the supernanny show.

I like this article about Supernanny. It's how I (and probably those who disagree with her as well) see her and that show.
http://socialbaby.blogspot.com/2007/03/a...

I think that's all. I won't be back for a quick response. I have to get our oldest soon, she's home from camp today. =)

Rosie - posted on 07/23/2011

@ sarah- i actually saw her on rachael ray recently and she claimed she was going to stop working for a while and work on starting a family of her own.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2011

But I will say, I HATE Nanny 911. They are MEAN!