just for fun - sayings that crack you up

[deleted account] ( 43 moms have responded )

I fancy a good laugh and the bad words thread has been really funny, so my question is what sayings crack you up?



For example 'it's black over Bill's mothers' - my hubby uses this all the time but until we started dating I had never heard it. The first time he said it I wondered who Bill was. This always makes me laugh.



(BTW for all you who are like me it means there are really big dark rainclouds in the distance)



So over to you...

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[deleted account]

(My nanna says " oh wig wams and goosey bridles " i have no idea what it means LOL) Loureen, the saying is actually "a wig wam for a goose's bridle" If some asks you what something is and either you don't know or don't want to answer straight, that is what you'd say. ;-)

Erin - posted on 10/02/2010

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I have two favourites that my mum uses:
'oh it's as useless as tits on a bull' or 'as ugly as a hat full of assholes'

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Heather - posted on 10/05/2010

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I love the "it's not rock surgery"(said in my best "dumb blonde" voice)

[deleted account]

Oh God work sayings my old boss had so many (we used to check them off as he used them haha)

Think outside the box...
Blue sky thinking...
Let's tick all the boxes...
Play the game...(scary I use that one now DAMN him!)
Touch base later...
Let's draw a line in the sand and move forward from here...
Square peg in a round hole, let's make it fit...
Just so we're all singing from the same hymn sheet.

I had a teacher once as well that constantly used (at least 10 times per 45 min lesson)

It's not rocket science folks!

Sunny - posted on 10/05/2010

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The boys have been saying this lately;

"Think outside the box, like a newborn baby"

lmao cracks me up!

Charlie - posted on 10/05/2010

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usually i say it when ive come in from a surf and my nipples are trying to bust through my wetsuit LOL

[deleted account]

I have NEVER heard anyone say MY nipples are so hard they can cut glass, normally just men commenting on women HER nipples are so hard they can cut glass. It would crack me up if a women actualy told me HER nipples were so hard etc hahaha

Rebecca - posted on 10/05/2010

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"Let's make like a tree and get the fuck out of here" Or, in light of my newborn, "Make like Tigger and bounce."

Kayle - posted on 10/04/2010

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Also my mom...Instead of "Whatever floats your boat" She says "Whatever flips your skirt!" lmao

Kayle - posted on 10/04/2010

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I say " I don't know where my _____ is." And his response is " If it was up you ass you'd know." Drives me crazy!

[deleted account]

He/she's so ugly the tide wouldn't take it out.

...a face like a bucket full of chewed arseholes.

I gotta piss so bad my molars are wearing life jackets.

refering to something that is broken or doesn't work or a failed attempt as being "tits up"

[deleted account]

Becky where I live it's 'I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby 'oss' (horse)

We don't like h's gqtm :-)

Charlie - posted on 10/02/2010

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My nanna says " oh wig wams and goosey bridles " i have no idea what it means LOL

Tah - posted on 10/02/2010

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i don't give a cat frazzle...lol..mom says it all the time..i dont know what a cat frazzle is but she don't give one and i think it's worse than not giving a damn..lol

Kate CP - posted on 10/02/2010

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Thought of a couple more...
"Just 'cause you can eat soup with a fork don't make it right"
"I'm so hungry my ass just ate my undershorts" (thank you, Dad)

And a few terms for masturbating:
slapping the mackerel and punching the clown.

[deleted account]

"Stick a fork in me, I'm done!"

:) I know this came from somewhere else, but I read it in a book (the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich) and I've loved it ever since!

Tara - posted on 10/02/2010

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my dad used to say and now I use it when we're finally in the van and ready to go: "Off like a herd of turtles".
My grandma used to say "pantie knots" instead of swearing when we were small.
And my favourite one would be my daughter who used to say "I"m all hoped up now, so you better not change your mind". Instead of getting your hopes up. :)

Lucy - posted on 10/02/2010

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My Dad always used to say, if you asked him if he knew somebody you were discussing, "oh yeah, he used to chew bread for our ducks"!?

My Great Gran had some good ones too-
"He's as mad as snakes"
"He's mad as a bag of badgers"
"He's as much use as a chocolate teapot"

Sunny - posted on 10/02/2010

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I've always loved "bright eyed and bushy tailed"
and
"whatever floats your boat"

and for us Aussies;

"In more shit than a Werribie duck"
and
"straight to the pool room"

Becky - posted on 10/01/2010

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I used to have a supervisor who said, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a scabby donkey." Gross, but it was pretty funny! She was English and had a lot of funny expressions, but I can't remember any more at the moment.

Charlene - posted on 10/01/2010

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Haha Kate, that reminds me of my FIL. When ever my SIL is looking for something, she will say "Have you seen my cellphone?" and he will play right into it and say "Is it pink?" " Yeah!!!" "Haven;t seen it."

My boyfriend has a lot of hilarious sayings, but I never remember them!! I have the crappiest memory.. :(

Kate CP - posted on 10/01/2010

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I have two that my dad used to say that would piss me off...

If I was looking for something and I said "Hey, have you seen *fill in the blank*" he would always respond with "It's wherever you left it." His other favorite was to say "last word!" at me whenever we got in a fight and I was going to my room in a huff. Which of course just pissed me off even more...never wanted to punch him so bad before in my life. :P

Morgan - posted on 10/01/2010

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My granpa always says "throw me the ball george" I still dont get it :) I dont know if it counts but my mom always used to say "cry me a river..... and I'll build you a brigde so you can get the fuck over it" lmao

Heather - posted on 10/01/2010

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"squared away like a beach ball" and "ate up like a soup-sandwich". I'll get back to you on this bc my hubby has some really funny ones I can't think of at the moment!

[deleted account]

Another favourite in my hubby's family is "I'll bost ya clock" which is really funny when a 3 year old is saying it.

And my FIL used to say "I'll stick me too up ya arse" when the kids were being naughty or lazy, my hubby could never work out if it was 'tool' or 'toe' which my FIL was saying. For the record it was toe (I asked him the other day).

Johnny - posted on 10/01/2010

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Never heard that one.

My dad always says, "I'm off like a dirty shirt." When he's leaving to go somewhere. He's been teaching it to my daughter, and I am kind of looking forward to the day when her speech is clear enough that strangers can totally comprehend when she says it.

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