Leaving kids in the car article

Laura Zoey - posted on 02/12/2012

There is those words again.......

Wait til you have three kids Jackie. All asleep in a snowstorm and you have to run inside the gas station to get your receipt because the pump is out of paper. You're really going to carry three sleeping kids through the blizzard to take 1 minute to get a receipt?



Don't say never so fast! You don't know all situations.

Blindly judging is not cool

**Jackie** - posted on 02/12/2012

Also, when I decided to have children I knew that from then on every single part of my life would be to protect, teach, nurture, prepare, and comfort them. I want to always be with my children. I remember loading my 1 year old into the car after I had already turned it on because it was blistering hot outside. The car was nice and cool and I made sure the metal on the car seat buckles were not hot. I put my daughter into the car seat and forgot my cell phone in the house. I was maybe 10 steps away from the door and I was pretty sure that my phone was right on the kitchen counter which is right by the back door. What did I do? I got her out of the car seat, brought her into the house, got my cell phone that was on the couch instead of where I thought it was and then loaded her back into the car. We live in a pretty safe neighborhood but I always say...bad people can travel anywhere. I am a very cautious person when it comes to my child and I would rather exhaust myself loading and unloading her out of the car then have something bad happen to her.

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2012

So all of you moms who think she was wrong and never leave your child in the car alone; what do you do with your baby while pumping gas??

**Jackie** - posted on 02/12/2012

I get what you are saying Emma, and my daughter is only 14 months old so she obviously isn't old enough to talk to me..having said that..I would never ever ever leave her in the car for a second. I just feel that, God forbid, there was a car jacking, I would be saying "if only" for the rest of my life.

Stifler's - posted on 02/12/2012

I went to the servo this morning and got fuel and left the kids in the car and went in to pay. I think it's stupid to be paranoid about car jackings etc. when someone could jack your car with you in it, or you could have a car accident. or someone could hold up the shop you're in and you're there with your kids.

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2012

'I have had to miss out on many things because my children needed to nap instead. It is a part of being a parent, IMO.'



Part of being a single parent is doing what is best for ALL the children involved. I would not have been the one missing out on things, but my two girls sure would've and how would that be fair to them... not only does Daddy bail on them at the same time they get a baby brother, but they can no longer ever leave the house because that baby brother needs a nap... for 3+ years? Not logical and not fair. My kid still got a nap though... just in the van instead of on me. ;)



That really has nothing to do w/ the article or the debate... just your statement hits a raw nerve of mine.

Johnny - posted on 02/12/2012

What is the benefit of you being in the car in an accident? So that you can be injured as well? Now, obviously most of the time we will be in the car with our child if an accident were to occur, we'd likely be driving or sitting around waiting for them to wake up. But I'm not sure why it would be better to be in the car? Preferably no one would be in the car accident, but that doesn't make logical sense.

Johnny - posted on 02/12/2012

I want to clarify that I am not advocating people leaving their children in cars. Certainly not while they are out of sight for more than a few seconds. It disturbs me just as much as anyone else when I hear those stories about the kids left in the car for hours while dad gambled at the casino or in the hot sun while mom went to a beer garden or shopping in Walmart. That is clearly an abnormally risky action. However, in the instance of this article, I do not think this mother took any particular risk at all. I don't understand loading a sleeping baby into a car, but I also don't know what her schedule was like at the time. I try not to make assumptions on other people's motivations.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

Is it safer to leave the kid in a locked car where no one can get to it until police have arrived and realized there is a kid in the car? I want my kid with me at all times. Why did I have kids, if I am going to leave them around? Yes, I would prefer the kid to have been with me regardless, at least then I know where they are and I can protect them...



I have had to miss out on many things because my children needed to nap instead. It is a part of being a parent, IMO.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

Johnny, yes and no. I take as many percautions when driving with my children as well. They only get the middle of the rear seat. I do not speed and I am a catious driver. Yes, someone else may be a crappy driver but at least I am in the vehicle when it occurs. Not frantically trying to get back to it or in it...



I hear what you are saying though. However, I still hold my opinion that it could've been handled differently.

Johnny - posted on 02/12/2012

So it would have been better to have taken the kid into the convenience store that happened to be robbed than having them safely left in the car?!?!?! Huh?

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

I agree Laura, 100%. I said the same things. Just used too many words I guess...

Johnny - posted on 02/12/2012

If you put your kids in a car and drive around with them, you are already taking an enormous risk with their lives and safety. Statistically, that child was far safer when the mother was parked and out of the car that the child was while she was driving to the mall. Thousands of children are injured and killed every year in automobile accidents, which are largely preventable. Yet people take their kids just out for a casual Sunday drive without thinking that they are exposing their kid to an unnecessary risk.



We have such a twisted sense of risk in our society, partially because of the news media. Car accidents are so commonplace that they do not even hardly attract our attention even when they are reported in the news. But a child in a carjacked car is so incredibly rare that it always becomes a media spectacle and we take notice. It causes us over-estimate and over consider risks that are negligible while ignoring those that are common-place and preventable.



I can't help but roll my eyes at the inevitable "what if something happened" line that people use in these circumstances. So what if... what if another car had hit hers and the mother had been in it? (just to use an earlier cited example) How would the mother having been in the car with the child have prevented the accident if the car was parked? How would the mother standing beside the car have prevented that? What benefit to the child in the car would there have been to have the mother in the car at the time? Would the mother not have been more able to respond appropriately and timely to the child's need after an accident had she not been in the car?



Aside from the child awaking and being upset at the mother's absence or the remote chance of a kidnapping/carjacking, I can not think of any particular risk that this mother put her child at in leaving the car for the moment and remaining nearby. Certainly not any greater risk than she takes every time they drive out of their driveway.

Laura Zoey - posted on 02/12/2012

Iwas imagining the kids to be about 4-5 years old.

Personally I'd have pulled up to the fire lane, and let them go put the coins in and forgo the pictures due to the sleeping kid. But if my kid was asleep I never would put him inthe car anyways.

I wouldn't do it like this lady.

But I don't think she is a bad mom.

And I do NOT think she deserved any legal punishment.

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2012

All 3 of my kids have had many, many naps while driving. In fact, my girls fell asleep in the car every day for 6 months cuz I was NOT going to let them quit napping as soon as they turned two. After my son weaned... the only way he would sleep is in the van. Plus, as a single mom w/ two older kids... w/ a life... he's always had some naps in the van even from newborn stage. It's just life and sometimes you have to do what you have to do.



I do agree that THIS particular situation could have (and probably should have) been avoided, but many, many other real life situations can't be.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

I hear what you are saying. I still think it is wrong to leave a child in a vehicle to do anything. I wouldn't have sat in the vehicle either because I wouldn't have been there if any of my children were sleeping.



She did, yes. The cops went overboard I agree. However, I do believe a warning was in order. That's all.



I am not picking fights. I gave my opinion to the OP and I was questioned on it. Am I suppose to bend to agree? I am only saying what I would have done and what I wouldn't have done. I am not saying anyone is a bad parent, I didn't say that in any of my posts. I am simply stating that small children should not be left alone in a vehicle and that I never have and never would. That's all.



If there are appropriate excuses for leaving small children in a vehicle then it would not be illegal in so many places. Just saying. ;)



Too many times a child has died just because a parent "had" to run into the corner store for milk. To find they are in the store when it is held up, or the line is longer than expected or time get's lost...



I am not saying if you do it you are wrong, that's up to you. I just never would and don't think it should ever be done. Although for those that have and it ended in dyer outcome, crying about it later isn't going to change the seriousness of what happened. I have watched a few Mom's crying in the news because their kid baked to death or the car was stolen or other circumstances occurred, only to say I only ran in for a minute...



No words are being used loosely on my behalf. I said never because that is what I meant. ;)

Laura Zoey - posted on 02/12/2012

Words like never and 'no excuse' are very strong words.

Most mothers in the world have left a child in the car for some reason or another and that does not make us bad at all.

You don't have to picks fight here.

What if you had three kids when you had to run into your daughters school for three minutes? A 2.5yr old, a 13 month old and a 2 month old? All asleep! Would you carry the baby carrier, and the other kids inside somehow?

There IS perfectly fine excuses for sometimes locking sleeping buckled kids in a car to run out for a few seconds.

Don't use such strong words so lightly.

You need to consider alternate situations and sometimes it's impossible to avoid things.



Teresa you said it so well. Gold star :) lol

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2012

My point was that 'what ifs' can't always be avoided though. Yes, THIS 'what if' could be avoided, but it wasn't. The kid didn't get in any danger except for having the cop arrest the mother though. ;)



I wouldn't be concerned about the children making the donation (at least not where I live) and if it were MY kids... they would've done it w/ me still in the van. I'm just saying...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

I highly doubt the children were real small. However, it does not state, it does however leave me with a perception they were older. I did also state that the mother could have waited directly outside the car. I also disagree that leaving a 2 year old in a car is safe, so asking me if leaving them for 2 mins safely in a car, is an erroneous question, since I already explained my feeling on leaving them in the car...



Although, I also made the point that you wouldn't have even found me there to begin with. If my child is sleeping, my child goes home. We don't go galivanting around to donate money when my 2 year old is so tired she is sleeping before we even leave.



Now you feel it wasn't far and that mother was completely fine with leaving her 2 year old in the car, simply because she could see it. What are the concerns right? OK but you are concerned that children - that BTW obviously do not need a nap - can't be seen from the car to go and donate money? I don't understand.



No - I do not feel a child, expecially 3 and under should ever be left alone in a vehicle. Never. There is no excuse. What if something had happened? It would be a completely different story then right? I do not like what if's, they can always be avoided...

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2012

So you won't leave a 2 year old safely in the vehicle for 2 minutes, but you would let a child walk out in the sleet alone where he/she could be hit by a car or kidnapped....??

Amy - posted on 02/12/2012

I don't agree that she was doing something at the time that could of waited. I understand to some degree running in to grab milk or pay for gas but to cash in coins? It just seems like it could of waited till the roads were safer or the child was awake. Besides that a loading zone is not a parking spot and I don't believe vehicles can be unattended while in a loading zone.



There is an article in the paper here today of a car that was stolen with a child inside while the mother ran into the store to grab a few things. Granted she left the car running but it really makes you think!



http://mobile.courant.com/p.p?m=b&a=rp&i...

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

Honestly, from the way I preceived the article, the children were old enough to make the donation while the mother either stood directly outside the car and watched or waited in the car.



I would have not gone if my 2 year old was sleeping before heading there, we would've went home. My child's sleep is more important than a donation. We could make that same donation once my child woke. I feel it is cruel and selfish to drag a sleeping child around. It was obviously the child's nap time. Again, I know I have stated this on another thread. I am a very strict routine orientated person, so I will never understand conflicting with my child's need of sleep, no matter what.



So we are talking about 30 feet or so (this is what the mother said, the cop didn't disagree but who knows the exact distance). 30 feet is far enough for me to not leave a 2 year old, especially when I am more busy paying attention taking pictures of the other children.



But like I said, they went overboard, she should not have been charged. A warning yes but that's it...



Although, sleet does not mean only rain. It is a mix of rain and snow or freezing rain and rain. That is dangerous, I would not leave my child alone.



I had to run to my daughter's school 3 weeks ago in the morning. It was the on the same run as bringing my son to daycare, he always falls asleep in a vehicle (not because it is nap time, just because of the motions). It was blizzarding. Sure it was a hassle to wake him and unbuckle him to bring him in, I mean it was literally going to take me 2 mins. I brought him with me.



My kid, if not responsible enough to be on their own while I ran to the washroom, comes with me. We are talking about 2 years old, not 4 or older...

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2012

My son has woken up while in his car seat w/ me just a few feet away many times. Never in his life has he tried to get out of his car seat or tried to open the door (neither of which he can do...at least the slider by his seat from inside the van... at almost 4 years old).



They could theoretically also open the front door of the house and escape while you are in the bathroom... does that mean you never pee? ;)



Life is full of accidents and disasters that COULD happen no matter where you are, what you are doing, or what precautions you take. Know where you are, know your kids, weigh the risks, use common sense, and take proper precautions... and then live your life and raise your kids to use their heads instead of live in fear.



That goes for just about anything... not just this stupid car vs. kids issue.

Laura Zoey - posted on 02/12/2012

Meme would you really wake a sleeping little one to walk in the cold rain a few yards away just to return to the car in two minutes?

That sounds cruel IMO.

I'd never put my kid through that. I just would feel like a rotten mom to wake a sleeping one and drag them in the rain for a few minutes.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/12/2012

I think they went overboard but I do have concern of another vehicle hitting her's while only her 2 year old was inside. She said it was sleeting out, that is dangerous where another driver could have accidentally ran into her parked car.



I am very firm on always taking my young children with me. I never know what could happen in just a minute or two. What if someone crazy came up and held them at gun point and they weren't able to get back to the car? Yes, this sounds far fetched and the likely hood is small but it can happen. I don't think, however, she deserved to be prosecuted for it, that is over and beyond but a warning yes.



My husband had our son with him, at the time he was about 6 months. He was sleeping and my husband had to run into the corner store for something, so he left our son in the car. He came home and mentioned it to me, well that scared the living crap out of me. I explained to my DH that in no way is it OK to leave our son in the car.



You never know how long you may actually take. Things happen and the next thing you know what was meant to be a minute or two becomes 5 or 10. Yes, my son was 6 months, so perhaps a bit different. Although a 2 year old can wake at anytime and open even an alarmed vehicle. They could be gone in seconds, they could run into oncoming traffic.



I dunno, I am probably just paranoid but so be it. Your children should not be left on their own regardless if it is in a car 10 yards from you or not. Although, if it happens, you should not be charged, at least not for the first mistake....

Laura Zoey - posted on 02/12/2012

Do you agree that the hazards were the reason?

I would think that police would be required to check out a car with their hazards on and so she just sort of called attention to herself there.

I agree the cop was way out of line!

But I think had she not done the lights the cop wouldn't have even noticed the child.

Joy - posted on 02/12/2012

Sorry, but that's just a complete waste of police resources. I mean, really. I feel bad for the mother, and for her children. If her children are at all traumatized, it's because they had to watch their mother be handcuffed and arrested. How utterly.....stupid. And what's even more ironic is that she was helping her children to do a good deed for a worthy cause. What's the saying? "No good deed goes unpunished...."

Johnny - posted on 02/12/2012

There are few words for what a bad decision I think the police and the justice system made on this one. To traumatize a mother, her children and the whole family over something like that. To waste the precious resources of the justice system on something that in my opinion was not particularly risky. I am disgusted. Shouldn't they be prosecuting every parent who speeds on the highway for child endangerment then? Shouldn't they be going to every household checking for proper babyproofing? I had hoped the risk analysis logic fail on this issue was specific to "nosy nelly know-it-alls". But apparently the police and justice system have fallen victim to it as well.



I do not think it is a good idea to leave one's child in the car for more than a few minutes or to have the car out of your sight. But this case is nothing like when people leave kids in a car to go shopping or play in the casino or something.



I feel terribly for this woman. I hope she sues for emotional distress.

Jodi - posted on 02/12/2012

The police overstepped the boundaries here. No, I dont' believe in leaving a child in the car, but she was *right there* for jeebus sake!!! I think a warning would have been more than sufficient, but to arrest a mother in front of her children for leaving a sleeping 2 year old in the car while her older children donated their money just a few yards away...ridiculous.