Casey - posted on 04/24/2013 ( 17 moms have responded )
When I found out I was pregnant, the biological father and I had already broke up. When I called to tell him, he said "what do you want me to do about it?"... so I told him "nothing" and hung up on him. Then I started seeing someone that I had known for a long time, he was there for me during the whole pregnancy, so I gave the child his last name (and didn't put a father on the birth certificate). This is the tricky part, my son was 8 months old and when I left the one I named him after and got with the man who I am still with (and married to). He is the only man my son knows as Dad, and now that he is in Pre K he has learned how to spell his last name. He doesn't really know that his name is different.... yet. I haven't been able to get a name change (apparently to change his last name I need a lawyer). I don't want my son to resent me or hate me when he is older and feels like me and my husband have lied to him his whole life. My husband and I have a daughter that is 3, and he won't even listen when I try to explain how I feel about it. He has always told me he would leave me if I brought the biological father into the picture. I worry that my son would get older and want to live with him, and then I think what if his biological father lets him do what he wants (who wouldn't want to live somewhere that they could do anything they wanted). Should I go with my heart and let him know about his biological father, or let my husband ruin my relationship and trust that my son has for me when he figures it out (or someone gets mad at me and tells him)? I understand my situation is complicated, and I'm curious if anyone has been in my situation or knows someone who has.