Mary - posted on 06/11/2012 ( 99 moms have responded )
I was reading this blog the other day about "lying" to your kids, and it really made me think about just how honest I am with my three and half year-old in answering questions or explaining different things to her.
Some excerpts from this blog that I think sum up the author's view:
"I try hard to tell my son the truth so he can, in fact, trust what I say. I need him to believe that getting hit by a car will hurt and that's why he has to hold my hand when he crosses the street or that vegetables are full of vitamins and help his bones and muscles grow. My parents also told me that lying was a very, very, very bad thing, so I don't like to do it. The problem is, I lie to Little Dude all the freaking time, and I cannot have my husband outing me. Because, mixed in with all the truths I tell him -- truths that by the way, do keep him safe and happy and healthy -- are lots of tiny (and no so tiny) fibs, falsehoods, and mischaracterizations that also keep him safe and happy and healthy and keep me sane."
"...Will kids stop trusting us if we lie to them about important things? I think so. Certainly, a desire to protect kids doesn't give us carte blanche to lie about anything at any time. But when they're little, and the truth doesn't serve a purpose, I'll stick with the lie when I think my son is better off protected for just a short while from the knowledge that the world is a scary and unjust place. Even if that makes me a big fat liar."
Some of the comments in response to this blog were up on their moral high horses in judgement of this blogger. In all honesty, she admits to a level of "fibbing" that I found excessive, and more than a little self-serving. However, one commentator said, "There are other ways of doing and saying things without lying. But no one is going to say they never lied. Those who say they didn't lied.". I find that thought to be accurate as well; no matter how honest a person tries to be, I don't think there is a parent out there who has never stretched the truth a bit with their kids.
Just how honest are you with your kids?