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'Me Time'

Erin - posted on 11/21/2009 ( 52 moms have responded )

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I've been following a thread on the main page where a young single mother has asked whether she's a bad mother for going out clubbing and drinking every weekend, and am AMAZED at the number of women defending that choice with the 'we all need some me-time' excuse.

I'm sorry, but young or old, single or married, once you have children you lose the luxury of going out every weekend and drinking yourself stupid. Those are the things you do BEFORE you have babies, and if you don't get a chance to because you're too young, well that's just a bit of bad luck!! Children aren't a weekday-only prospect. You don't get to clock off on a Friday afternoon and palm them off to the nearest available relative so you can 'unwind'. Occasional nights away from the kids is one thing (I've been away from my 9.5mth old 3 times and each time she has stayed with my mother), but living it up every weekend and treating your children like a Monday to Friday job is just not on as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, we all need a break sometimes. And of course we should try not to lose touch with our friends, but drinking and clubbing is not the only way to take that break! Now I am not a prude by any means. I've had my time in the sun. I partied hard in my early 20s. But that phase of my life came to an abrupt end when I found out I was pregnant.

So is the 'me-time' excuse a good enough one to justify this sort of behaviour?

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Erin - posted on 11/21/2009

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Oh no I've been away from her more than 3 times - I am back working part-time now - but it's only been 3 times overnight.

And I do certainly understand that there are other factors that require children to spend the night away, and that's not what I'm talking about here. I guess this just really riled me up because I also know people in RL that think their weekends of partying and drinking can continue after they have children.

Diana - posted on 11/21/2009

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I don't think so. But I don't think that we necessarily have to be here 24/7.



I think it's amazing that you've only been away from your child 3 times in almost 10 months, but not all of us can do that. I'm not saying that you think all of us should...But many mothers do.



Children are our responsibility. Our parents already raised us. Going out clubbing every weekend is not ok under any circumstances. But I think that every once in a while isn't a big deal. Maybe like one or two keekend nights a month?

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