My 3 month old cries non-stop while I am at work...

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

I only started working a few weeks ago part-time. I breastfeed but he gets a bottle of formula while I am away (about one per shift) I haven't been able to accumulate a breastmilk stock pile... going to work wasnt in the plans. We need the extra money but is it worth it? He cries and screams the entire time my husband and baby are both incredibly upset when I get home. I also have a almost 2 yr old son and I feel like my family needs me at home more than the money although we r broke. Should I quit? What would you do?

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[deleted account]

Oh, just thought of something! I got into a conversation with a mom in the pediatrician's waiting room. She's a working/nursing mom like you. She said that she would send her nightgown to the babysitters. When her son would get upset the babysitter would wrap him in the nightgown. He could smell his mom and would calm down. It's worth a shot.

[deleted account]

I agree with Kati that babies are very resilient. I'm sure your little one will eventually be okay at home with Daddy.

However, there are other ways to make ends meet. Maybe you've already done so, but can you cut cable and eating out? Can you reduce your cell phones to the cheapest plan? Can you sell one of the cars to cut the cost of insurance and gas (and make a little money off the sale)? Can you learn to use coupons?

Or, maybe you could work from home. Could you keep another child in your home a few days a week? Maybe you can tutor local grade school students? Maybe you can clean a few houses (and bring the kids with you)? I know SAHM's that do those things to help with the household expenses.

There's more than one way to solve a problem. =)

Kylie - posted on 04/30/2011

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If the crying has been going on for a few weeks and baby and daddy haven't been able to work out a routine or find a way to be together calmly and happily then you may have to quit. Has you husband tried wearing the baby, skin to skin contact and getting out out of the house of a walk etc? I can imagine it would be stressful for your 2 year old to see everyone in distress when you at work as well. For me, there would be no amount of money that would be worth stress an anxiety for my children or husband. Can you husband get a second job?

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[deleted account]

we switched his formula got different bottles and he is now on reflux medication dad is now burping after every ounce and he seems to be doing fine now... when I am home he is only breastfed so his tummy issues werent as noticable.

[deleted account]

I would quit and inform DH that he needs to get a 2nd job. Your job is obviously at home where you are needed most.

[deleted account]

any tips to help dad while im at work? he has tried swing... walking... going outside... burping... cuddling.... playing.... rubbing his belly etc nothing has made a difference.

Rosie - posted on 04/30/2011

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not so sure that you should quit if you guys can't afford it. i also don't think it's wise to make your husband who is going to school AND working full time get another job. that seems incredibly unproductive to me, and would do nothing IMO, but cause major undue stress on him. which could mean he would end up resenting you. not a good combo.

babies are resilient, the crying will stop eventually. i am sure it breaks your heart, but you have to be realistic about things as well.

i do hope whatever you decide, that it works out for you guys! :)

[deleted account]

im gonna talk to him about getting a 2nd so i can b home but i think he feels he is a bad dad because he cant make the baby happy.until my oldest started crawling i remeber he only wanted to play with daddy 20-30 minutes at a time then wanted me pry cuz i have the food. once he became mobile he turned on me however and is now a daddy's boy so i know my hubby is a good dad but he feels he is doing aomething wrong

[deleted account]

My husband works full-time and goes to night school. I work night shift 3 days a week during the only time he isnt at work or school. I am also going to school online. My husband gets paid commision so the number of hours he works doesn't make much difference. He works for a bottling company and gets paid based on the sales for that company so we cant control the commision at all he just stocks porduct.

OhJessie - posted on 04/30/2011

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I was fortunate to be able to be with my babies nonstop (a mixed blessing as they can make YOU cry lol). Sure you can quit if need be (I mean, 3 months IS very young and nonstop screaming is not something you want) but perhaps you can find alternate sources of income. For instance, my husband collects scrap metal to sell for cash. There MAY be ways to earn money at home (if you find them, tell me!!!) Either way, my best of wishes to you.

[deleted account]

How much do you really need the money?
Most infants will grow out of the super clingy phase by the time they reach six months and are able to entertain themselves a little.
If you need the money and can bear it out things will get better eventually. If you can live without the money, give up the job, maybe try again in a couple months time when he's more contented.

Mel - posted on 04/30/2011

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I agree iwth Bonnie 100% my husband wouldnt hesitate to get a 2nd job if it came down to that. I think he shoud step up more if he isnt already working. Sounds like your baby needs you at home

Bonnie - posted on 04/30/2011

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That does sound pretty stressful and if I were in your shoes, I don't even think I would be able to focus. Are you working because your husband doesn't have a job? If that's the case that is a different story, but if he does have one, maybe he could get more hours so you could stay home. Or like someone else said, maybe he can get a second job.

Tina - posted on 04/30/2011

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My boys really clingy too i can't even go to the toilet without him crying. I know it's tough but there may be no other choice but to quit if it's causing that much stress for you all. You can try keeping a piece of your clothing you wear alot near him sometimes a mothers smell helps keep baby calm. But otherwise maybe you could try doing online surveys and that sort of thing to make a little extra cash. It's not much but it might help a little.

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