MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/30/2012 ( 76 moms have responded )
Forget the sleepover rituals of junk food, "truth or dare" and late night gab sessions that have ushered tweens into teens for decades. A new generation of parents are sticking to strict no sleepover rules.
They call them "sleep unders," "half-overs," "late nights" and "breakfast bashes." Come in your jammies, bring junk food, play all the games you want, but at a certain point these children will be tucked in under their own roof where their parents know the rules about R-rated movies, Internet use and adult supervision.
"In the old days it used to be that you would build up to a sleepover and you knew everything about that family," says Stacy DeBroff, a Boston mother of two and author of four parenting books including "The Mom Book!" "But now a more vigilant kind of hyper-concerned parent says unknown dangers may lurk, I don't know every variable ... and so I'm going to hover and basically swoop in and take you out."
While plenty of families believe slumber parties are harmless good fun, several news stories about molestation at sleepovers — including a Vermont father who was charged in June with drugging a 13-year-old friend of his daughter with a smoothie and then fondling her — have given parents who worry about slumber parties concrete reasons to avoid them.
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Now, I am a believer in sleepover's. I truly believe they encourage emotional growth for children. However, I am a parent that does meet with the other parent before my child gets to sleep over night there. I also, have already pretty well interrogated my child of what goes on in the other childs home (without my child realizing it is an interrogation).
I was of course very nervous and still am, when my daughter sleeps over at a friends home. I must already have met and gotten to know her friend and they must have already slept at our home. She is not allowed to sleep over at a friends home, where I know the parents do not have rules and allow their child to roam the streets after my daughters ruled in time at home. You know, ones I consider irresponsible. I also, always give a specific home time for the morning. I will either pick her up or now that she is older, she can walk home (since it is within our neighbourhood). With that said, there are very few friends of hers that this is an issue.
I most definitely encourage her friends sleeping at our home over her sleeping at theirs. She does prefer that anyhow. However, I do believe it is important for her to get out and experience herself, on her own, overnight at her friends too. She does have a cell phone, so she can call me at anytime, if needed.
My daughter would have been about 10, though, before I started allowing her to sleep over night outside our home, except at family members homes.
Your thoughts. How do you feel about sleep overs? Do you allow your child to sleep out of the house or does it bring too much anxiety?