Not techincally a breastfeeding mum??
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Jodi - posted on 08/28/2010
Actually, technically, she IS using her body to feed, she just isn't using it at the same time the baby is getting the milk.
And I think referring to it as "not going the whole nine yards" is offensive. Women who have to pump and then feed, as well as washing and keeping bottles, etc, actually have to do a LOT of work to keep up the breast milk, I think they have to do a LOT more work than someone who can successfully breastfeed their baby.
Edited to add: I've done both, and believe me, pumping and feeding is MORE than "the whole nine yards".
Jennifer - posted on 08/27/2010
the AAP now says that mothers who are exclusively pumping, are considered breastfeeding mothers because the food that baby is consuming, comes from the breast. the bottle is just the "middle man."
instead of bottle feeding vs breast-feeding i think it should be breast-feeding vs formula feeding...or to get more technical, human milk fed vs artificial baby milk fed.
i exclusively pump and i am touchy about this. breast feeding was and is extremely important to me and i'm proud that despite latching issues getting the best of me, i didn't give in to the easier alternative of formula feeding. exlusively pumping i think is 3 times the amount of work than nursing. i feed the baby several times a day, i pump several times a day (and once in the middle of the night), i deal with bottles, i deal with breastmilk storage, i sometimes have to pump in a hot car, or on a crowded beach. i am a breast-feeding mother.
Tara - posted on 08/28/2010
I agree, it's the substance not how it's delivered that matters.
Even WHO says that if you can't actually nurse your child, giving breastmilk by another means is the preferred alternative and after that it's giving breastmilk from another woman.
How ridiculous to say she's not a breastfeeding mom? What exactly is she then? To me bottle feeding means just that, fed by a bottle. Formula feeding to me means bottle fed with formula in the bottle!
Jodi - posted on 08/27/2010
Who cares? Is the baby fed, healthy, looked after? Is mum happy and healthy? Is it working for the family? That's all that matters. As mothers, we all do our best, why do we have to keep putting labels on EVERYTHING?
This conversation has been closed to further comments
Carolee, when I go to the doctor I simply answer "I exclusively pump" to the question of are you breast feeding. This answers all questions right off so I never get, "how long does LO feed for?" This is my 2nd go around of it...pumped for the entire 1st yr for both my boys, well almost...LO is 11mos. I'm nearly done!!! And getting very excited about it!!!
I think they differentiate it because of the way ppl look at it. by breast-feeding moms have a whole array of issues in regards to babies latching, suckling, biting, etc. that I as an exclusive-pumper do NOT have to experience. And then bottle feeding formula mums have a variety of issues in regards to babies issues w/different formulas (gassy, lactose intolerance, etc) and the the attacks from a variety of sources saying they are not feeding their babies properly... As an exclusive pumper you get BS from by breast feeding mums because you can not exactly relate since you don't do it "naturally" and therefore can't possibly bond with your child...ugh...and THEN bottle feeding formula moms don't relate because you by feeding your child expressed BM are not going to be attacked from feeding your child formula...etc etc etc. Exclusively pumping has its own array of issues and I think it should be regarded differently. I do not experience the SAME issues as EITHER of your 2 groups! I AM DIFFERENT! On that note, I will not take offense being thrown in either group, but I definitely DO differeniate my circumstance!
Jodi - posted on 08/28/2010
Ashie, I didn't take it personally :) But I just thought that referring to pumping and feeding as not going the whole nine yards was overall offensive when I know that pumping and feeding is probably more like 12 yards when it comes to effort. I certainly don't begrudge you your opinioon on the topic!!
Johnny - posted on 08/28/2010
Jennifer, you can throw your pump off the cliff if you'd like, but if I am fortunate enough to have another baby, when I am done nursing, I plan to light my pump on fire and do a dance around it. I am nursing after breast surgery and pumping frequently was necessary to build my supply & recanalize my ducts. I hated it. Up every hour all night long. If baby was sleeping, she wasn't nursing, so the pump was it. So, I'd like to extend an invite to my breast pump bonfire. The bigger the better!
Also if i had of been able to get my children to take the breast milk by bottle i would of seen myself as still a bottle feeding mom using breast milk.I wouldnt of taken any offence personally if called that.Just like i didnt take any offence to being called many things about formula feeding by b/f moms.I'm confident in my choices and dont feel any less for making them.You are what you see yourself as and thats whats important.I dont look down on any of you.
I am sorry i have offended anybody and i commented because it was a formula feeding mom who made the statement in the first place.As a mother who couldn't b/f by breast i know all to well how hard it is.I dont claim its easy either way to nurse by breast or to pump &bottle feed.As a person who doesnt b/f i think of b/f as nursing a baby by breast from the moment there born.As with everything in life many do things differently and pumping and bottle feeding is perfectly fine but i feel technically b/f is by breast.Its fantastic your able to give your baby b/m by bottle i wish my children would of took to taking the b/ milk like that.
Again i see why the statement was made in the first place by the formula feeding mom as was stated.I just wanted all of you to See how she would think that way.
Again i dont think any area of parenting is easy and we all do whats best for baby&us.I Am extremely sorry for offending you all if i have offended more than one mom.It is my personal view and i respect how you all feel and i think the same in return..a debate is what its called and seeing it from both sides is the whole point.Although i do see how that whole nine yards was offensive..it wasnt my intention to do that or have it come across that way.
Mandy - posted on 08/28/2010
I can reassure you Laura, my friend had the same problem with her oldest, she just wouldn't latch on, so she pumped for nearly a year for her. She had her 2nd a couple of months ago and it was either he fed direct from her or he was getting formula, well great news the wee lad nurses like a pro, and she's only had to pump a couple of times so she could have a night out.
Charlie - posted on 08/27/2010
Actually all of the "breastfeeding" mums have been really supportive of her , it was in fact her formula feeding "best friend " that said she wasnt a real breastfeeding mum :D
Sapphire - posted on 08/27/2010
Oh please send me the link to that board! I am sure there are high and mighty superior mothers out there who claim she is not really a breastfeeding mom @@ So sad that extreme pro-nursing moms are still finding fault with others who feed things differently. Yes, she is a breastfeeding mom, just not from the breast. It makes no friggin' difference HOW the baby gets her breastmilk. I have a friend who exclusively pumps and has never liked the feeling of a baby sucking at her. She is a breastfeedin gmother-not formula-mother's milk. It happens to be dispensed from a bottle as opposed to the breast. Baby is fed, everyone is happy. Who the hell cares?! Oh!! The extreme-pro nursing community-that's who sticks their nose in!
Jennifer - posted on 08/27/2010
Thank you Mandy, and Becky. my husband and i have a joke that our next child (whenever that may be) will either take the boob, or will not eat at all. i refuse to exclusively pump ever again! i tempted to throw my pump of a cliff, or out the window of a very tall building when i am done pumping for my son :P
Carolee - posted on 08/27/2010
I didn't read all of the responses (migrane coming), but this is something that I've been going through. It's been interesting... even at the doctor's office.
Doctor: "Are you breastfeeding?"
Doctor: "How long does she feed."
Me: "About four to six ounces."
Doctor: "Oh, so you're supplimenting with formula every time?"
Me: "No. I have to pump and feed."
Doctor: "So, you're not breastfeeding."
Me: "I am pumping and feeding. She is getting breastmilk only."
Doctor: "Why aren't you breastfeeding?"
Me: "She will not latch."
Doctor: "Oh, okay."
I consider it breastfeeding. The food is coming out of my breasts and nourishing her body when she digests it. Although she did suddenly start to latch on to my breast after a month. That was odd. Now she does both, but she's very picky about which one she wants at each feeding.
Well, technically she is a bottle feeder since the milk is coming from a bottle, but she is also VERY much a breastfeeding mom. As I told her on that post... if I had to pump like that... I would've been a formula feeding mom. Exclusive pumping takes way more patience and determination than feeding straight from the tap.
Dana - posted on 08/27/2010
She's a breast feeding mom. When someone asks if you bottle feed they're asking if you use formula or if you're nursing. There's no need to explain your situation to anyone, whatever you may be doing.
I had to pump and my son was feed by an NG tube, then a bottle, and eventually nursed off me within a couple of months. I breastfed him until he was over 23 months. I have always considered myself a breastfeeding mom and always will.
Breastfed but I'm sure the LLL think it's bottle feeding because your baby isn't attached so you can't bond ... blah blah blah!
What does it matter if the baby is still getting the best milk? If the only way you consider being able to bond with your child is to have them sucking at your nipple then you need re-evaluate your abilities as a mother!
Lucy - posted on 08/27/2010
If baby's getting breast milk, it's being breast fed as far as I'm concerned!
I think it's a shame that some mums feel the need to put other mums down and make themselves feel superior by reserving the title of "breast feeding mum" for their elite club.
If a woman goes back to work and still goes to the effort of pumping so that her little one is getting breast milk, good on her. She doesn't need a special title just so that the militant BF'rs can ensure people know she isn't doing it "properly" in their book.
Becky - posted on 08/26/2010
Well, technically a bottle-feeding mom, I guess, but a breastmilk bottle-feeding mom.
If you are going to differentiate, it should be breastmilk or formula feeding, not breast or bottle. I always said I exclusively breastfed, but I have given breastmilk in a bottle on occassion, so does that mean I actually didn't exclusively breastfeed?
Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2010
Pumping is just as much effort and time consuming as the baby sucking. I think if you can pump, kudos. I passed out the first time I tried. I reckon you're still breastfeeding even if you pump and the baby drinks the milk.
Amie - posted on 08/26/2010
Don't worry about other people though Katherine.
Everyone has an opinion, which is fine. Nasty people, especially, do not deserve your time and certainly don't deserve the time you give them when their comments or looks get to you.
Erin - posted on 08/26/2010
I don't get this insane need for categorisation either. I guess the same questions can be asked of mothers who BF for a couple of months and then switch, or those who comp feed so the baby is getting both.
I think, technically, if your baby is taking a bottle, you are a bottle-feeding Mumma.
Amie - posted on 08/26/2010
Technically a bottle feeding mom. It's coming from a bottle after all.
I'll never under stand it. I've defended friends who've come up against some extremely rude people, they were also bottle feeding moms who used formula but still...
Does it need to be differentiated between? Is it really that important to a mother's own ego? Does it make bottle feeding moms who use formula less of a mother?
It never bothered my ego when I got dirty looks or snide comments for breastfeeding in public. It never bothered me when they were older and they were on bottles and people would natter on about "breast is best".
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. This is one of those things that some mothers will always be overly sensitive about. I may be immune to it because I have been on both sides of the fence. Each side is just as nasty as the other.
Katherine - posted on 08/26/2010
It truly does. I had to pump , but I still considered myself a breastfeeding mom. I would get upset when the nurses would say, "well no, you bottle feed." Ummm no I feed her BREASTMILK!!!! Yeah it's a sensitive subject. I don't think the "real" breast feeders should look down upon the breast milk feeding moms, they are still getting the milk :)
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