off topic sorry ladies

Abby - posted on 07/01/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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im starting to organise my wedding eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

ok so it's not for a while, october 2011, but any tips and advice would be greatly received. im completely lost and keep finding new things that i think i need. although im sure i dont need it at all!

sorry it's off topic, but u girlies are so great!



HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!



xxx

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Megan - posted on 07/03/2009

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Quoting Cara:

You girls sure do give great advice and I have nothing further to add. I did the whole church, reception, expense with my first wedding but this time round my man and I have decided to add a bit of fun to our wedding and do something a lil different.

Guests will be invited to a costume party and will discover upon arrival that they are in fact at a wedding. Photos should be great.

Whatever way you choose I wish you a beautiful, stressfree day.


that is so cute! lol! 

Megan - posted on 07/03/2009

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Quoting Cara:

You girls sure do give great advice and I have nothing further to add. I did the whole church, reception, expense with my first wedding but this time round my man and I have decided to add a bit of fun to our wedding and do something a lil different.

Guests will be invited to a costume party and will discover upon arrival that they are in fact at a wedding. Photos should be great.

Whatever way you choose I wish you a beautiful, stressfree day.


that is so cute! lol! 

Cara - posted on 07/03/2009

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You girls sure do give great advice and I have nothing further to add. I did the whole church, reception, expense with my first wedding but this time round my man and I have decided to add a bit of fun to our wedding and do something a lil different.



Guests will be invited to a costume party and will discover upon arrival that they are in fact at a wedding. Photos should be great.



Whatever way you choose I wish you a beautiful, stressfree day.

Amie - posted on 07/02/2009

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LOL!! Ya the money issues are always the ones that start the fights. Ours is costing us around $15,000. Give or take... I'm keeping everything and tallying up when we're done.
Some things I tried to do:
The boutique I got my dress from does sales twice a year. They sell the floor models and the one I bought was in my size! So of course I was all excited at getting my dress half off, only to get there a little to late! Someone else had bought it first! =( I still got it just paid full price. So if your looking at sales go in the earlier the better.
My girls dresses got a discount of 15%. The one boutique we ordered theirs from was the cheaper price as it was, then they got the extra 15% off because I had coupons from the boutique I had ordered from. If they had ordered from the same place they would have gotten it there but this other place took competitors coupons too. Bonus! =)
You can always look at bridesmaid dresses for yourself and just get it in white/ivory or whatever color you want to wear! (My SIL's dress was claret red)
You can shop online too on sites like kijiji, ebay, etc. I would recommend kijiji though if you are dress shopping online. This way you can see the dress and try it on before you buy it.
The guys tuxes are being rented from Moores. I liked that store because we ordered 4 for the groomsmen, one for our little guy and my hubby's was free because of that. Also, if you do it without the jacket the price will go down. Ours was cut in half because we said no to the jackets. It's summer time and the jackets will just get taken off because of the heat anyway. haha.
Our girls (flowergirls) dresses we got at Sears on sale and our babies we found on kijiji. They all look cute, aren't the exact same but tie into each other well. =)
The thing I noticed though is that you're in the UK? So some of the sites I used might not apply for you. I'll keep going through my stuff over the next couple weeks and when I find any more money saving tricks I did (or just missed out on!) I'll let you know. =)

Abby - posted on 07/02/2009

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yeh dont worry i'll be booking amie as my online party planner. he he.

the thing is ever since i became a mummy, that if i spend more than like £20 on myself that im being selfish!!! xxx

Sara - posted on 07/02/2009

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I had a small wedding too, with a total of 5 guests. We had a big reception later though where we invited our friends and families and smashed cake in eachother's faces.





I have a friend that's getting married in August and let me tell you, she's lost her damn mind. She's having over 300 people to the wedding and it's costing over $30,000. Yeah. $30,000. That's ridiculous. And it's to the point where she and her fiance aren't even talking about the wedding to eachother because it's such a point of contention. That defeats the purpose to me. It's not about the day, it's about the rest of your lives and it should be something you both enjoy, not something that drives you to the point of madness! I will never regret my small wedding and fabulous honeymoon! We went to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, it was FAB! :)

Sarah - posted on 07/02/2009

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I LOVED my little wedding! I'm not into the 'big' wedding thing (tho i totally get why people are!) it's a lot less stress too! :)

Mary - posted on 07/02/2009

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Not that my opinion matters, but I think you'll be glad you did it this way....you can always plan a big party to celebrate with extended family & friends later (and therefore still get presents, lol!!). You could hire Arnie to plan it!!

Abby - posted on 07/02/2009

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you ladies are GREAT thank you so much. now we've changed our minds oops sorry girls!

it's gonna literally be my mum and sisters and dave's parents and brothers. that way we can get married much sooner. which is what we truly want!!!!!



but girlies i'd pay for u all to be my weding planners. he he

brill ideas, shall pik and choose! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amie - posted on 07/01/2009

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Here's something I forgot to include. We did ours the way it is and paid others to do things because 1) we can afford to and 2) I wanted a stress free day and week leading up to it.
One other thing. Do not forget the gifts for the bridal party and your hubby. I got my girls white pearl necklaces, bracelets and earrings. My hubby got the guys custom flasks and a mickey of their favorite booze. My hubby is getting a photo album of boudoir photos I had taken. ;) LOL!

Sarah - posted on 07/01/2009

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I have to admit, i haven't read all the posts!!
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!
My wedding was really small and cost hardly anything so i probably don't have much advice for you!
The one thing i will say is enjoy EVERY minute, because the day will go SO fast!!
:)

[deleted account]

I don't have anything to add really, as Amie and Megan have covered it all. I just wanted to say that we got married in April and our wedding cost a little over $1000, everything included. The wedding was amazing too...just what I always wanted. You have tons of time to find what you like. If you have friends and family helping you, you can save a lot of money by making your own guest favors, floral arrangements, etc. We used silk flowers and they were lovely...no one even realized they were fake until we started asking people if they wanted to take one home as they were leaving lol Those are the little details that you can do way ahead of time. Anyhow, congratulations and try not to stress. If you want to know other ways we saved money, just let me know :)

Megan - posted on 07/01/2009

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congrats! I have organized three weddings.. (only one was mine) and I think i know a couple things. First off... book your wedding and reception site ASAP. Although outdoor weddings are great... try to book an indoor location or an indoor/outdoor one. Once that is all booked and deposits paid for... get to planning and sending out invites, and engagement announcements. Send them out early because you will need plenty of time to get them out and get RSVPs back. Of course... you'll need to decide on the amount of guests and the wedding party before that. Regardless of the size of the wedding you will need a solid budget. Not a "hopefully" budget but what you can really spend on this shindig. If you do a church wedding - you'll need to start any counceling they require... if that appplies.

Within your budget you need to set adide chunks of money for
A) apparel: Bride Groom and Wedding Party (don't forget flower girl and ring bearer if applicable)
B) food: most guests EXPECT to be fed at a wedding with a meal appropriate to the time of day... and of course you'll want a cake (or dessert). You can either be catered or bring your own food. catering is expensive so at all the weddings i planned we had bulk food bought from a grocery store (fried chicken and sandwiches at mine)
C)site fee: many places will charghe $500 to $1000 for a reception hall. With a small wedding you could have both in the same place - using half for the wedding and half for the reception- If you use a church you may not have a fee but you will still need a reception site.
D) decorations- do it yourself is cheapest... if a wedding designer or planner does them they will be expensive. Get creative and stick to a color scheme to have the nicest look. Dont rent tableclothes unless you can find the cheap. Instead go to k-mart or another store and look for bedsheets or cheap fabric.
E) flowers. fresh ones are pricey and you must have ones that are in season usually. Silk flowers are a really great option for centerpieces and decor... and save the real ones for the bouquet and corsages.
F) stationary: place cards, guestbook, signs, announcements, thank yous and invitations. Do them yourself. These can really eat up a lot of money quick. Any monkey with a printer and the most basic skills can make a nice looking invitation. You can by good paper to print on at an office supply store or craft store
F) music and photography and other stuff... You can have a live band, a dj, or a stereo- cd player. I like the stereo option because it is the cheapest. Live music is nice... but expensive and they aren't guaranteed to have the music you like. Get a friend with a good camera to take photos. -Remember simpler is better with photography and so make sure there isnt loads of clutter or too many decorations behind you in big photo spots (the cake, the altar, the wedding party's table, the dance floor) Right down a specific list of photos you want them to take and tell them to move around at will during the ceremony to get the right shots! Lastly... dont forget to send everyone home with some wedding favors! A little box of candy or whatnot really makes guests feel appreciated for coming and joining you at your special event!

Be realistic... be punctual... and relax! Weddings are so exciting! By the way designate the maid of honor and best man as the wedding people in charge. On your wedding day it is important people dont expect YOU to take care of any issues... and they need to be prepared to take care of the problems!

There is tons of ideas and advice at the knot, so join up!
http://www.theknot.com/

Print out a wedding checklist and live by it! Worst planning mistake is procrastination! Stay on top of things and you are more likely to have a stress free wedding!
http://www.onewed.com/apps/wedding-check...

Order bulk items like decor and dishes at oriental trading company... they are cheap and have a lot of great wedding stuff! favors abound!
http://www.orientaltrading.com/party-sup...

By the way - I am REALLY good at this stuff (if i may say so myself)... and i love weddings... so if you have any questions just message me!

Amie - posted on 07/01/2009

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LOL Thanks Mary. I've helped with so many of my friends and families weddings that I walked into mine with my eyes wide open and knowing what I wanted and how to get it. =)

Mary - posted on 07/01/2009

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Holy Crap....Am thinking Arnie's post needs to be published, lol!! I think she hit just about everything!!!

As the veteren of 2 weddings, my best advice is to keep things simple!! I got married the 1st time at 26, and had a ridiculously big extravagant and expensive affair that was exactly the wedding my MOTHER wanted. Quite frankly, I should probably be voted least likely to be a bride twice, as I found most of it (flowers, center pieces, seating charts and such) annoying, and I just didn't care enough about that to be bothered. I let my mother do what she wanted. It was pretty, and fun, and I know people had a great time (recommend a margarita fountain!!), but not completely necessary.



Muchas I would have preferred a quite ceremony on the beach the 2nd time, my husband had never been married before, and it was a BIG deal to his family that we have a 'proper' wedding. This time, however, I did most everything myself, had just one bridesmaid (compared to 6) and only 90 people. We had a friend get ordained on the internet to marry us (the catholic church won't let you do that twice, lol), and had the ceremony in a gazebo on the grounds of the club we were having the reception. It was much more intimate, fun, and enjoyable from start to finish! Less hassle, less expensive, and yet so much more perfect.

Amie - posted on 07/01/2009

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hahahaha Mine is in two weeks. Start planning now. People will think you are crazy but it's better sooner. Get the hall in place for the reception. A good place that is decently priced will take bookings generally 18 months in advance only since they are so busy. =)
Order your dress the year before. It'll give you loads of time to make sure it is perfect and get alterations done without feeling rushed. Plus if you lose weight it can always be taken in. Same with your bridesmaids... order early! Mine ordered there's 6 months in advance. Alterations are done now and we're just waiting. =)
Shop around for DJ's... go with one that has a good reputation and has been doing it awhile. You do not need to pay a lot for them either. We got ours for $800.. doing the ceremony and 7 hours at the reception. He also has all his own sound equipment he uses so he knows it will all sound nice.
Photographers.... if you can, try to find one who is up and coming. We got ours through a family referral. He does fantastic photos and it's only costing us $2,000. This included our engagement photos, him framing our "guest book" (we're using an 8 x 10 photo inside a 16 x 20 frame instead of a book), him coming to the rehearsal, travel (since he lives 2 hours away) and the ceremony & reception.
If you can, get someone else to do most of the decorating. The hall we chose does all of it for us for an extra $150.(they have their own decorations that we picked from) All we need to do is drop off our favors the night before and they set it all up! They are even doing take down afterwards. There are places to though that will do set up and take down for you!
The hall also is doing the catering and setting up the ceremony for us outside. =) We really did pick a good place. LOL!
We also found someone who does cakes out of her home so we saved on our cake instead of going to a bakery. We are paying $180 for 4 cakes. They are so gorgeous too! She did a trial run so I could see how they'll look. She is coming to the ceremony and setting it all up for us also.
If you want to take dance lessons or anything like that start the year before. It takes at least a year to get an entire choreographed piece done and down pat. We did this and are now just practicing in my dress so we can make sure neither of us step on it. LOL!
When picking your bridesmaids... pick people who you KNOW will not flake or shirk their duties. Also be prepared... there is always ONE who is overly helpful and will
drive you insane!! I was told this by so many people and never believed it. If I didn't love my MOH so much I'd be strangling her about now. LOL!!!
Parents, sit with them and find out what, if anything, they are helping with for costs.
Make sure you figure out your budget before hand and work from there.
Book a block of rooms for your guests at least 6 months in advance. They will ask for your credit card number but won't use it. They just need it to secure the rooms. Good places too will have a deal. Like for ours, we get so much off our room (honeymoon suite;) ) is so many of our rooms are filled.
Decide early if you want a honeymoon right away or not. There is nothing wrong with putting it off if you don't want to go right away! If you do go though make sure you have everything you need for wherever you go. =) passports, bags packed a week in advance, babysitter picked, etc. Give yourself a couple days too between the wedding and leaving for the honeymoon if you are going. It's not so much of a rush then.
If you are doing a church ceremony make sure to talk to your pastor/priest/ etc. at least 6 months in advance and let them know what you want. some things do need to be kept but you can insert your own vows if you so choose too. We are using a marriage commissioner and wrote all our own vows except for the parts required by law that were inserted. Our kids are part of the ceremony too... we opted out of the candle ceremony and are doing a family sand ceremony.
Do not nix any of your man's groomsmen... yes they may not be guys you like or you think they won't do a good job but it is his choice who he wants to stand up with him. Even if it is his annoying friend who hasn't learned to grow up! =)
Decide if you are bringing in your own alcohol or letting your guests use the stuff at the hall. If you use the hall you'll still need a licence and guests will be paying more for their drinks. If you bring it in you can do something like a toonie bar (sorry canadian term $2 bar). You get your money back at the end of the night and can take anything that isn't opened back to the liquor board for a refund.
Pick out your hairstyle and go for a trial run about a month in advance. Get a trim and any coloring you want done 2 weeks before the wedding. Get your girls to pick out their hairstyles too. It makes it so much easier at the salon when you go in.
Go shoe shopping early and practice walking in them so they are fully broken in. Get a pair of flats or slippers to for later on in the night. You don't want to be wearing them all day, especially if their heels! ouch.
Make sure you stay on top of the guys too so they are doing what they need to in a timely manner. If yours is like mine and his groomsmen they hid from going for their tux fittings until I was there and ushering them along. LOL!
Pick out your rings about 6-4 months in advance and order them as well. You don't have to pick them up as soon as they arrive but its nice to know their ready.
Get someone set up to take the kiddies home from the reception and stay with them for the night. My sister and her boyfriend are doing this for us.
Pick out the kind of invitations you want and if you want to save some money do them yourself. We bought kits from a wholesale place and printed them all ourself. Cost us about $100. We are doing our programs this way too. =)
If you have flowergirls and ring bearers make sure their parents know about all appointments and when you need them where. We are using our own kids so it's not a problem for us. haha.
Pick out your flowers then shop around to see which place will give you the best price.
Pick out your wedding jewelry and shop around for that too! I got mine off an ebay store for much cheaper than a jewelry store here. I saved myself about $100 on the black pearls I wanted. =)

I think that's all. If I think of anything else I will post again. I'm hoping I didn't forget anything though! Sorry it's so long. LOL! Feel free to email me if you have any questions that I didn't cover on here or need me to clarify something that I might not have explained well. =) and CONGRATS!!

Jessica - posted on 07/01/2009

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Don't stress or let it take you over. I was pregnant when I was planning my wedding so no stress was a big deal for me I look back at everything and can smile. Remember this is about you and your man, if you don't like something don't use it, if you don't want to do something don't do it, don't let anyone (mother, MIL,...ect) bully you. Enjoy your day and Congratulations!!



P.S. make sure your little man gets plenty of rest the night before, my little guy didn't sleep that great and the day took alot out of him.

Christa - posted on 07/01/2009

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Also I picked a hotel for the reception and they cooked the food, set the tables and had an agreement with a local bakery for the cake, so we paid one price for all of that and it was all coordianted through the hotel. It was much easier then trying to do all of that separate.

Christa - posted on 07/01/2009

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What I did was first find the church and the reception site. Once I did that everything sort of fell into place. At both my church and the hotel we had our reception they had coordinators that sort of helped me make sure I had everything I needed. Good Luck and Congrats!!!

Cathelijn - posted on 07/01/2009

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OW WOW Congrats! you have so much time to plan! you will think of lots of things in the next 2 years! I cant tell you how to plan it, I had to plan my wedding in 2 weeks!! and it worked out fine so I am sure you will have lots of fun planning.. The biggest tip I have is enjoy enjoy enjoy! It will be one of the greatest day of your life and do what you want as always lots of people will have lots of opinions...

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