"Oh boy" Grr..

[deleted account] ( 27 moms have responded )

So we all know there is a lot of competition in motherhood.From pregnancy to delivery and how we raise them.Then it goes to material things, like what we wear, drive and houses etc.



We all know everything becomes a competition with many people in life.So now i have also been subjected to wedding competing.Who spends more, who has the best wedding..I am set to marry in July 2013.My friend(was) we were not close anyway...To me,everyone is a friend unless the prove otherwise.She is set to marry this year.Its all such a competition with her.(can be childish to hear)



Is there anything in life that people don't compete over lol.

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JuLeah - posted on 06/16/2011

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You can really only be like that if others are willing to play with you. Tug of war doesn't work when one person puts down the rope :)

Debby - posted on 06/17/2011

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By the way, I gave myself a lovely gift for my 40th birthday (years ago)...I gently eliminated those competitive people from my life. Wasn't rude, just "lost contact"-- we really only need positive people around us!

Bridget - posted on 06/17/2011

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Oh my! Some of these posts sound SO much like my sister and some of my in laws!
My sister has ALWAYS competed with me, unnecessarily. I am very happy for her when she gets something new, or something good happens for her. Its never the same for her. When I get a new car, she has to get one too. There was even an instance years ago where my boyfriend at the time bought me a TV and she demanded her boyfriend buy her one too. He did and it ended up being the exact same TV and she was furious that it wasnt bigger!
The bigger issue I have are my in laws. EVERYTHING is a competition. Including our pregnancies. I have 2 girls, but we kept the sex of our 2nd baby a surprise. My SIL was due a few weeks after me with a boy and she was literally stressed out thinking I could have the first boy in the family. Her pregnancy was better, tougher, happier, etc than mine! haha
They refer to my wedding as a casual wedding. Well it was at the beach, and meant to be fun rather than stuffy, BUT it was anything but casual. We had great fun, great food in a nice venue at the top of a hotel, overlooking the beach. They do everything they can to try to knock me down, but I honestly just laugh it off. I feel bad for people like that, they cant be happy with what they have. And honestly, shouldnt we all be thankful for what we have, whether its the "best" or most expensive?

Stifler's - posted on 06/17/2011

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We didn't have a big budget wedding or anything but everyone who came said they had an awesome day and met new people and the food was good and we were all relaxed and had fun. Being bridezilla is no fun just go with the flow and everything will be great even if everything goes wrong. Everything went wrong at our wedding, the organist didn't show up so the bridesmaids walked down the aisle to no music, we were really late to the reception thanks to someone's stupid photo op idea and stuff like that but no one had a tantrum or anything so it was great.

[deleted account]

Funny thing Amber at the time.We had not set a date.I just said we can't wait to tie the knot.Off she went.I had no details to tell her.I only have them now.Now that we don't talk..so its great.She knows nothing but i think i know everything about her day more than her hubby to be does lol.



A family member let slip, she asked him to marry her.She tells everybody it was romantic and he asked her.Why lie.If i did that i would be proud of that fact.I would not lie about it.People are all different.So why hide it.Celebrate it.Again its her choice 100% as its her life.

Thanks for the replies ladies.

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[deleted account]

For our wedding, we were a little different. We wanted to save sex for after the vows and didn't want the temptation of a long engagement. We were married 3 months after we got engaged. On that time frame, you CAN'T have perfect everything. What matters most is that you make a vow and keep it, and as far as that's concerned, our wedding was a success. I, too, am hoping to do something special for our tenth anniversary.

With regards to the actual question, unfortunately, I think everything will be a competition with some people. I tend to be competitive, but rather than bragging about my "wins" I feel bad about my "losses". But when people are competing about petty things, I find it humorous. When your friend brags about her wedding, smile and say "That's nice." It'll give you practice for when your kids are in school.

Debby - posted on 06/18/2011

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Ashley, (and no prob) you are so right...positive people surround themselves with other positive people... but more than that-- forget all the other and have the wedding YOU want, they way you want it! After all, it is yours! ♥

[deleted account]

I so agree with that Debby, sorry i misspelled your name in my last comment.
She would pull on my heart strings, as shes been through so much.I tend to always see the best in others.
A friendship is one that gives on both sides, if thats not happen its not really a friendship is it.I was always raised to be positive/mannerly and carry myself well.I won't bring myself down to other peoples standards.To keep there friendship.
So losing contact was the best thing to do.Thank you Debby. ♥

[deleted account]

Aww thats lovely Debbie..i wish our parents could do that for us.We have to foot the bill ourselves lol.Wouldn't have it any other way to be honest.Your daughter is a lucky lady and i wish you& your family all the best.

Debby - posted on 06/17/2011

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We made it a point to have a beautiful wedding for our daughter and son-in-love on a cash only basis! And had a lovely church affair for 300 people for under $5000 all inclusive! Our only "competition" was giving the Bride & Groom what they wanted!

Temper - posted on 06/17/2011

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Speaking of weddings, My husband & I will celebrate our 10 years of marriage this August! I just turned 27 so I am still young & very proud of that. Our wedding & reception was going to be at the beach on August 8, 2001 but we eloped the day before & got married by our town judge! My husband said lets just do it! all we really need there is your mother. The only people who really matter right now. I have so much love for my brothers & aunts, cousins but they are not people who I need blessings from. I said why not! We will see them all at the reception anyhow. Our only witness was my mother, her bf who is still the man in her life (he's a good man) & that was it. That was all I needed. Our reception was low key at the beach reception hall that is on the beach. It's a huge beach house with all windows looking down to the water. It was wonderful & we served brisket, sausage, homemade rice & beans! HEY- it's Texas!! lol we had fun & I was 5 months preggers at the time too. I was very much not a bridezilla & never would be iven the chance to go all out. I'm just a simple girl & that's how I like to keep things. I am excited to renew our vowels one of these years & take a actual honeymoon. That would light up my life! Only thing is I want 2 vacations! one with just my hubby for our grownup time & then one with our boys included so we can finally have a family vacation. We will get there, I know it! But I don't need to one up anybody or rub it in their face that yes they have "the good life materialistically" but my husband has never cheated or betrayed me because we keep things simple & are each others very best friends. To me that IS the good life!!! :)

Temper - posted on 06/17/2011

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I love the line: "It's so LOL"....I'm going to start saying that. So funny! :)

Temper - posted on 06/17/2011

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I love the line: "It's so LOL"....I'm going to start saying that. So funny! :)

[deleted account]

LOL omg thats crazy April..this girl i am on about.She was pregnant and wanted a girl, she has a boy.Her boyfriends cousin was having her first.She said she will not talk to her again if she has a girl.
They poor girl was told for half the pregnancy she was in fact having the girl she so wanted.She was on cloud nine.I was very happy for her.She actually had a boy.The told her just a few mths before delivering him.She became so depressed.My point was she actually did not speak to the boyfriends cousin as she was the one who had the girl in the end.Talk about crazy.I have to say having a c-section to be first takes the biscuit.Sounds like something this girl would do as well.
Lots of fruit loops do live among us..lol:-P

[deleted account]

We don't have a huge budget either.We got a great deal.I like to be creative so with everything else its going to simple but elegant.I can't afford to go all out nor do i think you need to.
The aim is like you said is to have fun and go with the flow.As long as we both get to the church and are pronounced husband and wife.We will be thrilled.Your wedding day sounds wonderful and one you won't be forgetting.:-)

[deleted account]

@Emma this lady sounds like your friend.One thing she asked was were would i hold the afters.I said a sit down meal at our 5 star hotel.She said it was tacky..lol..she is having hers at a nightclub were the hold functions mostly for birthday parties etc but my hotel is tacky.I do not care how much you spend, or were it is etc.I would marry my hubby to be in the middle of a field wearing a black sack, for christ sake..if i had to lol
Its Just for the simple fact we never spend a lot on each other.As we have two children who come first.This is our day.One day we will remember for the rest of our lives.I always say a wedding day is kind of like the birth of your children.As it doesn't matter how many years later it is..you remember that day so vividly and you can recall it second by second.That's what i want.
We should not ever feel the need to dampen those days for anyone.I can't wait to plan with my partner all that will take place on our wedding day.I see it has fun, joy&happness not a competition.

[deleted account]

Juleah, this lady does not need you to play into it.She can keep going with you just standing there with your mouth shut.Shes like this about everything.I still run into her at our kids school.If its not about her wedding its about something else.I think it boils down to her being insecure in some part of her life.I mean i don't think i have EVER met anyone like this in my life before.She talks and talks lol..everybody who knows her says the same.You would not get a word in edge ways even if you wanted to compete JuLeah.lol..



Also i think people like this can keep going if they know your not the type to stand up and tell them to quit it.I let her on.Its funny for me to see all types of characters in life.You can learn so much from them, learn how not to be.Be thankful your nothing like them.

Charlie - posted on 06/17/2011

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These "keeping up with the jonses" types are idiots with no personality of their own so they go around trying to be the "better version" of everyone else .

Sad really .

Stifler's - posted on 06/17/2011

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No. I have a friend who is always trying to one up me. I got a new car so now she is all "When I turn 25 I'm getting a new car" which happens to be the same kind of car only a few models up with 2 extra cylinders and costs about $25000 extra and in the colour I wanted but my husband refused to buy. She also reckons that they are spending at least $10 000 extra than we did on their wedding including buying suits instead of renting, probably having more bridesmaids and more cars and more alcohol and having a longer and more luxurious honeymoon. It's so LOL because I'm so not jealous, because it will never happen. I like her but all the time she rings me to say how her boyfriend has told her he doesn't love her or he's cheating and then next week the wedding plans are in full swing. I feel sad for her and she doesn't need to say all this stuff to try and look cool.



It's purely insecurity when people try to compete or go one better on everything you do.

Amber - posted on 06/16/2011

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People are stupid. We're also planning a wedding and several of my friends are getting married this year or next year. Only one person seems to be attempting to compete...which is hilarious to the rest of us. Especially since we all passed on the hall that they picked :) But we let that be an inside joke between the rest of us!

The funny thing is, I intentionally don't give lots of details because I feel like I'll appear to be competing.

Just ignore her. I know it's hard. But focus on how much fun you're going to have.



*Edited to add*

Also, if she's being that rude to you and you aren't close....imagine how miserable the people around her are!! Have you ever seen Bridezillas? Everybody is miserable :) Think of her misery and smile! haha Yes, I know I'm evil.

Momof1 - posted on 06/16/2011

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LOL I don't think there is anything in life certain people don't compete about. My husband and I got married after 4 years and 10 months of dating, when I was 4 months pregnant. We knew we wanted to be married before our son was born, however it was just at the JP. We thought we would have our "real" wedding last August, but it didn't happen. So now our plan is just to wait until our 10 year anniversary. Sorry, that was off subject.

I am jealous of my friends/school mates who had real weddings, but I wouldn't try to compete. I do what I like and what I feel/think/know is right. Some of the people I know think I'm crazy cuz of some of the things I have done (breastfed past a year, still have my 19 month old rear facing, made him a banana cake for his year birthday, got married..) but it isn't like I shove that in anybody's face. I don't go out of my way to say to my friends or acquaintances, I just live.

Jayce - posted on 06/16/2011

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My SIL and her husband are like that. I could care less. When they start going on about having a bigger this, better that or whatever, i just answer with a 'that's nice' and move on. It drives them nuts that I won't play their petty game.

Temper - posted on 06/16/2011

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My husband's side of the family is like this! They compete with each other & treat whoever is doing the "worst" in their eyes. For us it was my husband. They are all so much older than him so they have houses & nicer vehicles..our isn't bad at all 2009 cobalt! hey it's runs & so does the ac!! lol That's all that matters to me. They seem to want to compete the kids against each other sometimes & I'm talking about since when they were babies! like who is potty training, walking & so on first. It's SO RIDICULOUS! We just removed ourselves from being around them any further. It had been years since we visited their house for a family function. They didn't think we could possibly get by without having them in our life. You will THRIVE! I mean it, once you cut out the fat. People who just want to one up you need to be rid of your daily life. You can't possibly relax & have a real friendship with people who are constantly keeping tabs on you like that. You will go through hard times at some point, that's life. Who do you want around you during those times. I wish you much happiness & health!

April - posted on 06/16/2011

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there was a girl on here, i think it was Emma, that said a friend of hers wanted her baby to be born before Emma's, so she scheduled a c-section intentionally!! women should not be competing for who has a baby first or who can have a bigger/better wedding bash! crazy!

[deleted account]

Thank you.We were not close.My post was more so to do with everything being a competition for so many.Is there anything in life that people can't compete over lol.

I don't speak with her often.Which is great lol..I do what suits me and what makes me happy&my family.

Anyone who wants to dampen that can think again.

As i am in no way competitive nor will i entertain that.

I just kept my distance and never played into it.I think she got the point.

September - posted on 06/16/2011

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Fortunately I don't have childish people in my life so I don't have people that find competing with me necessary. I'm sorry that must suck. I would just ignore it or address it whichever makes you feel better. :) Good luck and congratulations on getting married!

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