one piece or two piece for little girls and tweens.

Tara - posted on 05/14/2011 ( 146 moms have responded )

2,567

14

107

Do you think it is appropriate for young girls and tweens to wear two piece bathing suits that are just small replicas of adult styles, often revealing a lot of skin and often the top of the bikini is low cut or cut like a string bikini with just two triangles of cloth to cover the breast area?
Or do you prefer to see little girls and tweens wearing age appropriate styles?

My girls all wear one piece suits that are modest in nature and more designed for the act of swimming than looking hot.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

146 Comments

View replies by

Sherri - posted on 05/17/2011

9,593

15

387

Honestly a bikini isn't covering much more than a one piece except the belly. So unless they are wearing full swim shirts and board shorts you aren't saving them much more from the sun anyways.

Charlie - posted on 05/17/2011

11,203

111

401

The only thing that attracts a child predator is the fact your son or daughter is A CHILD , age not clothing or lack of is the one constant , Im sick of people giving power to rapists and pedophiles by allowing them this ridiculous excuse .

I dont like bikinis ( string bikinis ) on little girls because what is the point of the top plus I worry about sun damage but come on stop using this pedophile excuse .

Jen - posted on 05/17/2011

3

8

0

I wore a two piece when I was growing up, but they were more modest back then. Brief style bottoms or shorts, with halter or tube top (with a shoulder strap) were the style. I still looked my age, and I believe they were age appropriate. But bikinis in the true sense are FAR from appropriate. I was aloud to get my first string bikini when I was 16, and even then my father was dieing! Use good judgment, and common sense, that is the best way to parent! Lets keep our kids, kids for as long as we can :o)

Jenni - posted on 05/17/2011

5,928

34

373

It confuses the heck out of me too Krista. On one hand they were considered mature after puberty in the past. So are we holding them back from growing up now? Or have we just gotten smarter and realized they aren't 'emotionally' ready? How the heck do we determine when one is emotionally an adult? I think now it's all based on when they finish HS. Legally, one becomes an adult at 18 in most places. Finishing HS is vital in today's society to be self-sufficient in the adult world. So I think that plays a huge factor.
If you don't have HS, you're not as likely to be able to support yourself and a family. It can be done, don't get me wrong... but it's much harder now to find employment without HS. Whereas in the past it wasn't necessary.

So I think it comes down to the rules of society as to what age would be considered a functioning adult. We no longer take into consideration the biological factor of maturity.

Is it right or wrong? I don't think it's either. It's just different.
Being considered an adult at 13 years old in the past was practical for the time.
Being considered an adult at 18 now, is practical for the time.

So since that is the case one of the cons today at least is teens have to stiffle their natural, biological urges until they are deemed 'muture' in our society. Which can have some preceivable backlashes. Single teen moms, STDs from having mulitple partners... the alternative in the past was early marriage which would have for the most part prevented those things.

So I am TORN on this one. On one hand... I wouldn't want my child dressing as in today's society would be considered an adult. But is that in a sense denying their natural biology?
I still don't want my daughters hooching it up until their at least 18-20. Hopefully, by then I will have taught them how to be confident in themselves that they don't feel the need to seek out sexualized attention. Or at least it won't be a large part of who they are as people.

Lacye - posted on 05/17/2011

2,011

31

160

LOL No Laura. I put that up on my facebook as my profile pic and it changed this one to that too. That's my daughter Lily 2 years ago. :D Her birthday is coming up so I put that one up as a blast to the past.

Krista - posted on 05/17/2011

12,562

16

842

Yeah, looking back on what I said, it does seem as though SOCIAL maturity used to actually be linked to physical maturity. So you were considered a child until around the age that puberty started, and were considered a woman pretty much right around once puberty finished. Biologically, it made a lot of sense.

But now, we're all fucked up. Girls are starting puberty earlier for various reasons. And we treat them like kids basically until they're 18-19 years old, but we also let 8-year olds walk around dressed like a 20-year-old club-goer.

Jenni - posted on 05/17/2011

5,928

34

373

Oh yeah, I completely get what you're saying Krista. Good points.

I completely agree with the mixed messages our society is giving young girls. And as I stated in some earlier posts... it's all about marketing products to a younger and younger purchasing powers. If 'sex' sells... then 'sexy' will sell. Young, impressionable, acceptance-seeking teens make for an easy target.

Jenni - posted on 05/17/2011

5,928

34

373

Woah woah woah. Don't get me wrong here guys. I wasn't saying it was 'right'. Just saying that it's not as though nowadays girls are growing up too fast in comparison to the past. If anything we're keeping them younger longer. If anything we were forcing them to grow up earlier in the past.
Not using it as an excuse for tweens, teens to wear bikinis.
"Biologically and physically, teens are grown and experience the same hormonal urges as us 'adults'. The only difference is; nowadays we deem them mentally and emotionally not prepared to be adults. In today's society, that's some what true. As we aren't considered prepared for the world until we've at least graduated HS, at 18 years old. So if anything, we are holding them back from growing up than we did in the past."
I was saying it makes sense in today's society for teens not to be considered adults until 18.

Krista - posted on 05/17/2011

12,562

16

842

Go back about 200-300 years and it would have been quite common for a 16 year old to be married with 2-3 kids already.

And it would have been common for her to be dead by 50. Yes, physical sexual maturity happens at a young age, but that's because our species used to have a much shorter lifespan. Now, we have longer lifespans, but when it comes to puberty, our bodies have not changed to reflect this.

At any rate, I think both of you are right. Compared to prior centuries, we do consider our kids to be kids for much longer.

But we contradict ourselves in that we also sexualize girls at a younger age.

150 years ago, a girl was considered a girl, not a woman. She'd start transitioning when she hit about 13, and would pretty much be considered a woman once she was 15 or 16. Only then was she allowed to wear long skirts and put her hair up, and the time would come to talk about finding a husband. But the lines were very distinct. Little girls were NOT allowed to dress as women. So even though they became "women" earlier, they were still allowed to remain as children for a longer period of time. An 11 year old girl was considered very much a child back then.

But now, we've sort of reversed it. Some of us dress young girls and babies much as we would grown women. At age 12, they're dressing like a 20 year old and wearing makeup. And their bodies are starting to mature. But then we tell them that they're children and that they are not ready to be adults.

So as a society, we are sending pre-teen and teenage girls a very mixed message: "Look sexy, but don't be sexual. Look like an adult, but stay a child."

[deleted account]

As someone who was a victim of child predators I will say that it makes no difference how you're dressed. If you're singled out by a pervert it's bc he wants a child, not bc he wants a child who looks like a woman. But also, if a young girl is wearing revealing clothing or swim suits she will attract boys / men who are older than her bc she is portraying herself as older and more sexually mature. I realize that times have changed and that years back it was common for a 16 year old to be married with children but that doesn't mean it was the right thing for them to do. Or maybe it WAS the right thing at that time bc there were no other prospects whereas now, the world is yours. I would want my children to grow and thrive, live life, get an education, before commiting to settling down and raising a family. I don't plan to try to keep my kids younger than what they are, they will dress age appropriately but also dress in modesty and not revealing their body in a provocative way. It really doesn't have alot to do with sexual maturity but more as self respect and respect of ones own body.

Mommy - posted on 05/17/2011

328

18

2

I like the two pieces for 2 reasons...It is MUCH easier to do diaper changes. Also, their chubby little bellies are too cute in them.

Jenni - posted on 05/17/2011

5,928

34

373

@Amanda- I don't agree with that. If anything today's society is forcing teens to stay younger, longer. In past generations it was quite the norm to be married by 17 or 18. A few hundred years ago, girls were married off at the age of 12-16.
Biologically and physically, teens are grown and experience the same hormonal urges as us 'adults'. The only difference is; nowadays we deem them mentally and emotionally not prepared to be adults. In today's society, that's some what true. As we aren't considered prepared for the world until we've at least graduated HS, at 18 years old. So if anything, we are holding them back from growing up than we did in the past.
Go back about 200-300 years and it would have been quite common for a 16 year old to be married with 2-3 kids already.

Amanda - posted on 05/17/2011

22

13

3

for my daughter who is 3 i but a one piece with a built in life jacket. When she gets a little older she will only where board shorts and the tank top shirts. Teens are growing up way to fast these days and its our job to try and slow it down a bit.

Jenni - posted on 05/17/2011

5,928

34

373

@Laura I do absolutely adore the colours and pattern! But I couldn't see myself putting it on my 1-5 year old (I imagine that's the age it's meant for since it's from Children's place).
That one is too 'adult' for me.
I don't mind the square topped bikinis for that age. My SD has a Dora one. It isn't quite a tankini but the top reaches about half way down the rip cage. The bottoms are like briefs. Not high rised like that one in the pic.

Krista - posted on 05/17/2011

12,562

16

842

Heh -- good point, Laura. Besides, many pedophiles LIKE for their prey to look as young and innocent as possible. So there's no way to truly "win" that one. Better to spend our energies teaching our kids how to punch these creeps in the nutsack, rather than worrying about bikinis vs. tankinis.

Isobel - posted on 05/17/2011

9,849

0

282

Perhaps we should put our children in burkas...so that pedophiles won't be tempted by them...like women in the middle east.

It works for them right?

Krista - posted on 05/17/2011

12,562

16

842

For toddlers, I love the one piece ruffle-butt suits. They're just so freaking adorable. But, for diaper changes, I can see how a two-piece would be more practical. Even then, though, I'd want it to be age-appropriate. No string bikinis.

When they get older, I like tankinis and one-piece suits for young girls and tweens. I'm a bit of a prude that way. I'd be okay with my teenager wearing a bikini, but it has to be relatively modest. "Cute", not "sexy". I'd be okay with my teen girl wearing this, for example:

http://z.about.com/d/teenfashion/1/0/t/4...

Lacye - posted on 05/16/2011

2,011

31

160

One piece all the way! I have never liked the way the 2 piece suits look on little kids. It irritates me though because most of the swim suits I've found that are in my daughter's size are all 2 pieces. I won't let her wear them. She's just way too young.

Candice - posted on 05/16/2011

246

1

11

o.O I hate how skanky bathing suits are for little girls. They try to create boobs where there are none. All the need is a bottom at that age. My 3 year old wears a one piece or tshirt kind or just a swim diaper.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/16/2011

18,939

9

3002

I don't like seeing babies in 2 pieces, but tweens that are in tween style 2 piece, fine....not adult sexy ones. Tank top style and full bottoms please.

[deleted account]

I loved the bikinis my girls had as babies they were so cute with little ruffles everywhere. I don't think full coverage 2 piece bathing suites are inappropriate. I don't agree with the tiny adult looking bikinis on kids, I think children should look like children.

Though we have to admit no matter how much you cover up some of these tweens now a days they still look much older than they are. So it depend on that teenager or tween.

[deleted account]

You know what i dont really know what im gonna feel like when my daughter gets older i can say whatever but i wont know for sure until i get there i have no prob with bikins but as long as it looks pretty not trashy ( that goes for anything!) then im fine with it

Natasha - posted on 05/16/2011

63

85

7

My 11 year old has gone through 2 pieces and now wears a 1 piece. It's what she feels comfortable wearing. As for my 1 year old, all she wears most of the time is just a bottom. I live in Miami and we're at the beach and pool 8 months out of the year.

[deleted account]

I think its cute for little babies to wear two pieces! but not the two pieces of cloth ones that to makes always looks a bit tacky. But when they get a little older i think once pieces are best. I dont like the bikinis that are replicas of grown up bikinis. But i have no problem with kiddie bikinis or the ones with shorts



EDITED: idk if that made sense. . . . like right now my baby is 9 months and i am looking for a bikini for her. I think when its babies they look so cute!! I dont know when i would switch from a two piece to a three piece but def before the age of five. And then afterwards tankinis and one pieces are good until 13/14 i think bikinis are ok but they need to be tasteful. I never really liked the string bikinis i wore one once and hated it. Dont think those are ever fashonable or tasteful

Jenny - posted on 05/16/2011

4,426

16

126

A string bikini would not be option for my girl. She is very active and a suit like that would not work for her regardless of my feelings on the style. She had a tankini a couple of years ago but the rest have been 1 pieces.

Isobel - posted on 05/16/2011

9,849

0

282

I let my daughter wear two pieces but they have to be bulky...usually a tankini, but I've been known to cave if it's just a chunky top. My husband(ish guy) hates it, he thinks girls shouldn't be allowed to wear anything with two pieces...but...meh.

Momof1 - posted on 05/16/2011

528

0

15

I don't like seeing bikinis on, well I guess you could say anyone that is a 13 or 14 or younger. But we'll have to wait and see when/if I have a girl. And to me it depends on the type, as well. I don't agree with bikini's on babies/toddlers. They can wear tankini's, that way it is easier to change diapers then a one piece. Not to mention that, even with wearing sunblock, baby skin shouldn't be exposed so much.

I think tankini's are the most appropriate suits for younger girls/preteens. I don't think I'd have a problem having my (future) 12 year old wearing boy shorts and a thicker bikini top, just not string. But as I said, we will see if/when the time comes. And no, I'm not at all a prude, I love bikini's short skirts... but it is all about maturity. I don't see any reason an infant needs to be in a bikini. Yes, they might be cute, but necessary, no.

Kellie - posted on 05/16/2011

1,994

8

163

ahh great Jenn! I re read it a few times and realised it could be taken as such (this is why inanimate objects shit me a lot, things get totally misconstrued very easily).

:( to the abuse. I hope that by educating all including them we can minimise it happening. And by Talking about it, however this is not the thread for that LOL

Yep Jennifer if there were no differing opinions then this community would be obsolete!

Jenni - posted on 05/16/2011

5,928

34

373

I can respect that Kellie. We all have our own views on what we consider modest and age appropriate. For me; I don't see *most* bathing suits in the same way I see everyday wear. Where I may allow my tween or teen to wear a bikini, I would not allow her to wear a midrift showing top, mini skirt, or any other level of dress that may have her mistaken for a hooker. :/ Other than that, I'm pretty liberal minded when it comes to dress.

I definitely don't want my tween walking around like a little Bratz doll! That's where I draw the line!

Jenn - posted on 05/16/2011

2,683

36

93

I didn't take anything as an attack - it's all good. And I too have experience with a pedo. I was molested by my neighbour when I was about 5 or 6 (I can't remember how old I was exactly). It does make me more aware of how things like that can happen, but I don't let it rule my life in any way. Bad things can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. The only thing I really do is to make sure my kids know what is right and wrong and that they can come to me and tell me anything. I never told my parents - and my older sister even told me not to tell or we'd get in trouble. :(

Kellie - posted on 05/16/2011

1,994

8

163

Jennifer, I totally get what you're saying, and it's not like when i'm dressing her I think geez is this going to stimulate a pedophile or not? HOWEVER I personally do feel a bikini on a child or tween is unecessarily Provocative.

I think it's inappropriate for children and tweens to wear bikini's for other reasons too. It's not sun safe, it's too 'old' for them, I once saw a little girl in the shops about 8 or so wearing a short short skirt, knee high boots and a tight top! totally inappropriate for a little girl, now that same outfit but with leggings on underneath the skirt? do you see the difference? I feel the same way about bikini VS tankini on a CHILD.

Jenni - posted on 05/16/2011

5,928

34

373

@Kellie I too have personal experience with a pedophile. But I understand what Jenn is saying. I REFUSE to live in fear or allow what happened to me affect my life as much as possible.

If a pervert is around, he is going to have 'thoughts' regardless of what your child is wearing. I don't think wearing a one or two piece is really going to make that much of a difference in what 'thoughts' he is having about a child.

The only prevention is educating our children. For pedophiles it's more to do with access and opportunity. In my own personal experience (as an adult) I have been approached and harrassed more wearing a t-shirt and jeans than when I dressed perceivably more sexy or in a bathing suit.

Tara - posted on 05/16/2011

2,567

14

107

Okay, for pedophiles they really don't need a child to look sexy but for some it adds to their excitement.
I was sexually abused by my former step-father, he liked to see me in adult type clothing. He liked to see me in strappy little black dresses etc. he bought clothes for me that my didn't know about.
So it does make a difference to some of them.
I don't let sickos dictate my child's wardrobe, it's not like when we pick suits or clothes etc. that I stand there and think "would this be sexually stimulating to a pedophile?"
I just want my girls to dress modestly. So the same way I don't buy them yoga pants with the words "cherry" or "Angel" printed across their ass, or buy them tank tops that have built in bras and no midsection to speak of, I also don't buy them strappy bikinis. Tankinis are great, my oldest daughter had one last year and loved it, but this year they all chose one piece suits.
Oh and they know how to pull the suit to one side to pee, I taught them that. :)
But when I see a 9 yr old at the beach wearing a string bikini, literally tied at the hips with string and tied behind the neck and at the back with string, and only triangles of fabric in between, I just feel that it's inappropriate for a child.

Kellie - posted on 05/16/2011

1,994

8

163

*sigh* I'm glad you have the luxury of that Jenn I really do. I however do not, having personal experience with those assholes, what they're capable of and what they do you and young children and the effect this has on your life.

I have re-read what I wrote before, and while I meant what I said I did not mean it as a personal attack on you I actually meant it in general but I can see how it could be taken as a personal attack toward you. So assuming you have taken it that way I apologise.

As for the rest we'll have to agree to disagree. I do not think it's appropriate for tweens or children to wear Bikini's.

Jenn - posted on 05/16/2011

2,683

36

93

Well then call me naive. I'm not going to let the possibility of some sicko dictate ANYTHING to do with my life. It's not even a thought in my head - at all.

Merry - posted on 05/15/2011

9,274

169

248

I've seen girls in bikinis that are a bit too big and during play the top will slip off a little and show their nipple. You (general you) can not tell me that this couldn't have any affect on a creepy guy who might not be looking for trouble, but still it could trigger a physical resonse in him if he is already struggling with kiddie porn etc.
And to every other guy who isn't attracted to kids this is just plain embarrassing to accidentally be looking at some young girls nipple! Innocent yes, but it could provoke some creep and it could make a bunch of nice men uncomfortable.
Shannen thanks for the picture :) we do have those in USA, but I guess I call them swim shirts.....Eric has one, and so will Fierna. We are so white it's ridiculous and I'm not letting my kids get burned!

Kellie - posted on 05/15/2011

1,994

8

163

@Jenn

I think there's a difference between 2 piece and 2 PIECE! to me a 2 piece is a tankini and a 2 PIECE is a Bikini.

Yes a pedophile or a rapist for that matter doesn't care what kids wear, HOWEVER putting a child in a Bikini and not expecting that to be an added incentive/attraction for someone who is attracted to children is naive IMO

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2011

149

27

7

it never bothered me for my daughter to wear a two piece she been wearing them since she was 7 and now she is 13 and i would be lying if i said it makes me uncomtable now that the boobes are in but since she has always wore em im ok with it but dad hates them now

Jenn - posted on 05/15/2011

2,683

36

93

I'm amazed by the amount of people who think a 2-piece equals sexuality. To me, sexiness is more of an attitude than a look. I can see an attractive girl dressed in a "sexy" outfit, and she's workin' it - she looks sexy. I can see the same outfit on another girl who is more insecure and doesn't hold herself the same way - not sexy. So why would a child in a 2-piece bathing suit be anything but cute? Sexy it is NOT. If you're worried about sickos - they don't give a fuck what your kid is wearing - they don't find kids "sexy" - they find kids to be easy targets, vulnerable, innocent, etc. Control is the name of the game - not sexiness.

Karen - posted on 05/15/2011

15

13

0

This is why I sew, LOL! One piece til about 8 or 9ish then went to tankini's. 15 this summer we are in 2pc, makes it difficult to dive or go down the slide. Plus it's let's sunscreen to use.

Sherri - posted on 05/15/2011

9,593

15

387

I positively have no problems with any age wearing bikinis including infants, toddlers, young girls, tweens, teens or adults.

And could care less if we are at home and they run around and their underwear for the person who asked.

Christina - posted on 05/15/2011

1,513

28

140

My daughters wear two pieces. I found when they were infants that two piece suits were a lot easier for changing diapers. As little girls (they are 7 and 8yrs old) they still wear two pieces. It is easier for them to go to the bathroom in a two piece than a one piece. However, my girls where two pieces, NOT bikini's. The tops have to come close to touching the bottoms.

Merry - posted on 05/15/2011

9,274

169

248

Feeling like a dumb American here but what's a rashie? I'm assuming it's an Aussie term cuz I never heard of it!

Carol - posted on 05/15/2011

3

0

0

There is a point where there are bikini's that cover more... and bikinis that cover nothing... my Kaydee Bug will have a bikini but thats because they are soooo cute on her. When i was little thats all my mom bought me until i was a little older... and now all i wear is jeans and t*shirts. :) so i guess when it comes to sexualizing it... you have to take into consideration everything else that you are bringing into the baby's life.

Merry - posted on 05/15/2011

9,274

169

248

One piece only in our house :)
I hate the sexualization of little girls, I know that's not the intention, but IMO that's how it ends up looking. I want nothing accentuating my daughters nipples or butt. That's just how we feel about it and it seems we aren't alone :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms