One Regret

Danielle - posted on 12/23/2010

Oh, and one more thing. I would've tried breastfeeding a little more.

Danielle - posted on 12/23/2010

I do NOT regret my daughter. But I would've spaced my children apart a little more so I had more time with my son just him and I (they're 16 months apart). I love my little Hannah but she's a very needy baby and I often feel guilty from all the time I have to take away from my 20 months old.

Pamela - posted on 12/23/2010

quitting my job when i did

Jane - posted on 12/22/2010

The only thing I can think of is if I knew better 20 years ago with my first, I would have breast fed her longer than I did. I was able to do it for 9 months with my 17 year old son but I didn't know better with her and so I only breast fed her for a couple of months. Other than that, I regret nothing I did as a parent. They are awesome people and we have an amazing relationship so I feel I did great raising them.

Dana - posted on 12/22/2010

I remembered a regret! I regret feeding my son rice cereal at 5 months (4 months adjusted) he ended up with a rice intolerance which in turn wasn't able to have any grains until he was 13 months and no rice until he was 2. It created a HUGE pain in the ass with tons of time spent checking labels.

Tessa - posted on 12/21/2010

I would have had longer time off work

Sarah - posted on 12/21/2010

that i spoke louder when i thought something was wrong 6 months it took to diagnose me with PND 6 very long and dark months

Amber - posted on 12/21/2010

i regret that i didnt take enough time to just...BE. i was 17, i was so worried about sleeoing, feeding, bullshit, etc. that i didn;t actually ENJOY my teeny-tiny baby. now he is four and his infancy is a blur, and i wish i would have taken more time to just hold him and stare at him and, i dunno...i wish i would have cared less about getting him to sleep, because now i don;t ever want him to go to bed. this time around, with my next baby, i'm going to try to just relax.

Cassie - posted on 12/21/2010

I regret the feeding schedule I set up for Kiera when she was a baby. I was so terrified of her not getting enough to eat that I fed her every two hours around the clock until she was close to six months old. It established a horrible sleeping routine and she didn't ever learn to sleep for longer stretches than that until she was about 18 months old when she weaned.

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

Does that mean we can nickname her Swearon? ; )

Stifler's - posted on 12/21/2010

Bahahah

Toni - posted on 12/21/2010

That's not swearing, that's just Sharon...

Amie - posted on 12/21/2010

Sharon, Sharon always swears. LOL

Stifler's - posted on 12/21/2010

Who swore?

Amie - posted on 12/21/2010

*** MOD Alert ***

Please, all new members, refer to our pinned thread about our Language rules here:

http://www.circleofmoms.com/debating-mum...

We have a more relaxed view towards swearing. There is no need to flag posts unless someone is directly swearing at another person. Thank you.

Amie
~DM mod

Charlie - posted on 12/21/2010

Jackie - It could be , My little sister was with him when he passed away , we promised him he wouldn't die alone so I am glad she was there , he actually died the next morning before I could make my way back to the hospital , my sister had to watch him go through a brutal night of pain , I know there really isn't much I could have helped at least the last thing I told him was I loved him and he told me he loved me .

Brittany - posted on 12/21/2010

I honestly wouldnt change anything before or after I had my little girl. Everything happened for a reason and made me who I am now a strong loving intelligent mother of a very precious smart little girl! I love my life even with all the bad things in it.

Erin - posted on 12/21/2010

@ Jackie - the exact same thing happened with my grandfather. He was in the hospice and full of morphine so couldn't speak anymore. But he started getting very agitated, so my brother and I went home (leaving only my Nana, mother and her two siblings there). I had barely walked in the door when I got the phone call to say he had gone. They are convinced he was waiting for my brother and I to leave, because as soon as we did, he calmed down and quietly closed his eyes ♥

Rosie - posted on 12/21/2010

we can be "hot mess" twins jackie!! gqtm!

Jackie - posted on 12/21/2010

I'm not totally sure I have any regrets when it come to parenting thus far... but I'm sure I will. I haven't even gotten to the hard part yet...

But I have a shit ton before I was a mom. Don't get me started. I was a hot mess.

Jackie - posted on 12/21/2010

"I regret going home the night he died ( I had been sleeping in the hospital for days before hand ) but all I can do is learn to forgive myself of my mistakes or things I could have done differently"

I'm not totally sure of the situation, but it sounds like you were saying that you went home and he died after you left? If that's the case, maybe that's what he was waiting on. He didn't want you to be there.

A similar situation... my Dad's mom had been in the ICU for weeks and my Dad never left her side. He was the one to take care of her for years before this. He called me one night and said "I really just need to go home and get some rest. can you come up here for a while?" So I did. No more than 15 min later, she took her last breath. I think she was waiting for him to leave. He hadn't even made it home yet.

Chatty - posted on 12/21/2010

I don't dwell on shit either, BUT, if I'm doing things a second time around, I might do them differently. That's all, Sharon! ;)

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

I agree with Loureen. Regret doesn't necessarily mean that you are dwelling on the past and letting it keep you back. To me, it just means that while you move forward, you remember those things that you wish you'd done differently, so that you CAN do them differently should a similar opportunity arise. In my case, my regret about not asking for Domperidone will be an impetus for me to ensure that I DO ask for it with my next baby.

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

I just want to point out to Julie that calling someone selfish is in essence, calling them a bad person.

Johnny - posted on 12/21/2010

Well said Loureen. Regrets aren't necessarily something we spend time dwelling on or crying over, they can be things we wish we did differently and will hold on to those lessons and make changes if the opportunity presents itself. Personally, I think that a little self-reflection is a very good thing.

I regret not pushing to get out the the hospital sooner after my daughter was born. Luckily, my husband finally did, but I was on the edge of going under sitting in that tiny room with no support being badgered every 5 minutes. Unless there was a real medical reason, I won't stay there a moment longer than necessary again. Even if I have to just get up and walk out the door.

I also regret every time I've yelled at my daughter. It's natural, she'll survive, no doubt. But it doesn't work, it makes us both miserable, and the behavior worse. I don't do it a lot, but every time I lose it, I wish I had taken the time to step back and approach things better.

Charlie - posted on 12/20/2010

Like Joy I always said I never regretted anything but since becoming a mother and more recently losing my father I have some regrets .

I regret going home the night he died ( I had been sleeping in the hospital for days before hand ) but all I can do is learn to forgive myself of my mistakes or things I could have done differently accept it for what it is and learn from it in order move on and grow this goes for parenting issues and life issues I have , I think I now feel that feeling regret isn't a bad thing , it is more acknowledging past behavior or actions from which we can learn , it is how you deal with it that matters .

Sharon - posted on 12/20/2010

I know but sometimes I wonder... how anyone moves forward with their lives when they're so busy considering the past (I was nice and called it 'considering'). I don't sit in the past like that and I don't understand those who do.

I also made BIG mistakes. There were things I didn't take into consideration. I don't regret them. I have a good life, but I'll danged sure pass those lessons on to others I come across facing similar issues.

Joy - posted on 12/20/2010

Sharon, you know I love ya...but DAYUM girl! LOL I don't necessarily think it's about anyone beating themselves up or being "whiny ass pansies". I don't beat myself up, but there are things I have done since becoming a mom that I do regret. Again, you know I love ya right? (ducks)

Sharon - posted on 12/20/2010

I don't regret jack shit. I'm not some whiny ass pansy bitching about things I have no control over.

You want control over something? Take it.

The past is the past. I can't change it. Once a baby is conceived, it will be what it will be unless I have an abortion or miscarriage.

I don't have any ex baby daddys to stress over because I made the decision to not have children with fuck heads.

My boys are circumcised, the oldest has no issues with it. Neither of them ever had an infection in their circumcisions and piss just fine.

I don't regret my decisions because I made CAREFUL decisions. I thought them through, did my research and then made a choice. I made my choices witht the best of intentions. Why the fuck would I spend the rest of my life beating my self up for bullshit?

Stifler's - posted on 12/20/2010

I regret not giving the boob one more try too. I was like NO IT'S TOO EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSING IF HE DOESN'T FEED SUCCESSFULLY!! I regret not listening to my mum.

Joy - posted on 12/20/2010

My motto in life has always been to "regret nothing". That has changed somewhat since having my son 3 years ago. I wouldn't change anything about the last 3 years, but there are some things that I feel regret about.

I regret having my son circumcised. I've learned a lot in the last three years since he was born and if I ever have another boy I won't be doing it again. Steve is ok with this.

I regret that I didn't try harder to breastfeed. I only managed to last a little shy of 6 weeks before I caved to the pain of bloody, scabby nipples and made my first bottle of formula. I don't regret giving him formula, but that I didn't give the boob one more try.

I regret that I've spanked my son. But I'm also happy to say that he hasn't gotten a spanking from me in probably about two months.

I regret being induced, but not because it made my labor any worse. I had a pill placed on my cervix and my labor was fine....a very natural and almost cleansing experience for me. I just regret that I allowed the doctor to just do it, and didn't ask why (other than that I went 5 days overdue). Next time, if there is a next time, I'll wait for it to happen on its own unless there's a problem or a medical reason to do otherwise.

When I was pregnant and people would ask me what sex I wanted the baby to be, I would give the PC answer and say it didn't matter...that I just wanted healthy. While this is true and I would have loved my child no matter what, I definitely wanted and hoped with all of my heart for a boy. I got my boy. But at that 20 week scan, I admit that if they had said I was having a girl, there would have been some disappointment going on inside me. To this day, the thought of me being a mother to a daughter still scares the hell outta me.

Amie - posted on 12/20/2010

Yes Jocelyn, it is out of character. I understand the upset. I am dealing with that as well.

Now back to the topic!

Jocelyn - posted on 12/20/2010

Yep! Lol, those damn "eh's" always blow my cover :P

Sherri - posted on 12/20/2010

Canadian Jocelyn? The Eh kind of gave you away. LOL!!

Jocelyn - posted on 12/20/2010

But I do kinda feel like a bad ass :P I've never had a post deleted before! This is a milestone!

Jocelyn - posted on 12/20/2010

Sorry Amie
Please forgive me?
It's a little out of character for me eh? lol

Amie - posted on 12/20/2010

*** MOD warning ***

Ladies, obviously yesterday was not enough for a few of you. One of you has been blocked for 24 hours now. The warning thread was posted for a reason, we meant it. No more shenanigans. Posts have been deleted.

Stay on topic. Flag posts that you are worried about. None of the mods want to see threads deteriorating to the point where we need to put up all these warnings and start deleting as much as we have.

Amie
~DM mod

Sarah - posted on 12/20/2010

I have two regrets:

1. Not getting more help with breastfeeding. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I was too dang stubborn to reach out for help. Trying to get my son to breastfeed caused me so much frustration, anger, and stress that I gave it up after only a few weeks.



2. Quitting my online classes right after my son was born. I didn't have any motivation to finish my schooling & I'm kicking myself for it now. I wasted a lot of time & money because I was too dang lazy to study. Oh well...I'm determined to complete my program now so I guess it's better late than never. :)

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

as we all witnessed yesterday,debating groups can very quickly turn to chaos. Threads like these, where we all get to know each other and respect each other are the only way to maintain anything close to a civilized atmosphere.

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

Jocelyn, we might be able to debate a 'recipe' topic if we try hard enough :-)

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

Either way I do NOT regret that.

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

I always wished for a healthy baby without a doubt, more than anything. Am I suppose to feel guilty now that I wished for a girl and still do?

Nikki - posted on 12/20/2010

Please Julie, Laura is right, and this thread is not a debate about one's preference of gender, can we just leave it and get back to the original post. It wasn't intended to criticise mother's for their regrets. It was just a light hearted discussion, I was interested to hear how other mother's felt about their parenting choices.

Julie - posted on 12/20/2010

And anything that is posted shall be expected to get a comment. Word to the wise don't post if you don't want to get a comment back good or bad.

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

This is an intimate thread where women have bared their innermost regrets regarding motherhood, and you have belittled them. Either contribute, or don't bother joining in just to bash other people

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

yes, you did. And I am more mature than that...I just wanted to let you know what you were doing.

Julie - posted on 12/20/2010

lol...you don't have to the fact that I couldn't walk for almost a month pretty much made me regret it enough...but I am so happy your so mature...All I said was my opinion I didn't say that anybody was a BAD person for thinking it...just voiced my opinion

Julie - posted on 12/20/2010

@ Laura My regret would be have an epi...

And no I never wished for either sex all I wanted was a healthy baby.

Rosie - posted on 12/20/2010

oh holy hell...i've had 2 misscarriages and wanted a fucking girl with my last pregnancy. so sue me, get over it. doesn't mean i love my sons any less, it just means i want a girl and know i will never get one and that saddens me. i think you are missing the point of the whole thing and thinking only in one way. open your mind and see that people aren't sad about having a boy, but sad about NOT having a girl. there's a huge difference.



oh, and i don't regret it, nor am i dissapointed in my feelings about it. i'm confident in my emotions.

Stifler's - posted on 12/20/2010

I think we all have a preference!! Whether we try to or not. It doesn't mean we love the baby any less at all. But I do feel bad for being disappointed that Logan was a boy at first. I also regret traveling so much with Logan as a baby and going out every day in case I 'let myself go because I had a kid' instead of just relaxing at home in my peejays.