Other's Parenting Styles

JL - posted on 08/09/2009

My daughter was 4 when we had my son. We had to go out and buy new strollers not because the ones we had were old but because we didn't have a stroller in the house anymore, because at age 4 my daughter could walk and did not need to sit in a stroller. Honestly I would rather see a kid using one of those backpack leash things at age 4-6 if they are such a handfull then see them in a stroller. At least the backpack thing is helping you teach them to stand next to you and walk with you rather than having them stuffed into a stroller for conveinence sake. That is just my opinion........

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2009

Quoting Krista:

You know what gets me even more than an older child with a pacifier? An older child in a freaking stroller. They can walk!

I SO agreee with you! I was picking my eldest up from school (she was 4 at the time) and someone from the year ABOVE her came through in a pushchair! The lollypop lady kind of jokingly said to the kid 'You don't need a pushchair' and the mum said, 'oh she's too slow at walking when i need to get things done' 

Yeah.......probably because you've kept her in a pushchair until she's 5/6!

No offence meant, but personally i think school age is WAY to old to be using a pushchair. :)

Traci - posted on 08/08/2009

I think a lot of parents put their kids in the stroller because the kid doesn't know how to behave in the store, and at least the kid is buckled in and cannot get into too much trouble that way. Of course there are toddler leashes....but that is a whole different can of worms! LOL



It's frustrating at times, but kids don't have to be on lock down when they go to the store. A little consistency and discipline work wonders...

Stacey - posted on 08/08/2009

ya that gets me too like my bf thinks because my son is 3 he should be in a buggy but i told him NO he can walk he learned at one. The longest i will have them in a stroller for would be about 2

Krista - posted on 08/08/2009

You know what gets me even more than an older child with a pacifier? An older child in a freaking stroller. They can walk!

Stacey - posted on 08/08/2009

i have no idea but my son is 3 and he loves his sippy cup and also hes not too careful with his regular cups he likes to dump them even if its just careless actions like running so i have the sippy cup for now but he does use other cups sometimes mostly with straws....but the pacifier is stupid i doubt it has been very good for their teeth either especially with being that old...i think as soon as your child even gets a full set of teeth they should be off the pacifier...luckily tho neither of my kids really took to the pacifier so i wasnt happy at first but now i am especially knowing how attached a child gets to it

Joy - posted on 08/07/2009

I am guilty of shaking my head when I see an older child (like a 5 year old) with a paci. So it's not just you Sara! I think we all make judgements sometimes, right or wrong. We're human. For us, Jacob was off his bottle at 12 months. We set our game plan in motion from day one with the bottle. While my friend was going "When is Chloe (her daughter) going to hold her own bottle?" we were NEVER letting him hold his unless we were holding him. He never got attached to it, never just had it while he was crawling / walking around, so when it came time for the bottle to go bye-bye, no problem. Not one crying fit. Now the paci? I remember that sense of dread I got the first time I gave him one. I had VOWED to never use one but then, when he was about a month old, in a moment of sheer exhaustion and utter frustration, I stuck one in his mouth and he instantly went to sleep. That was a wonderfully bittersweet moment for me. Sleeeeeep. He'll be 2 in October and we're down to only 2 pacis in the house. Well, 3. One of them is way way back under his desk in the corner of his room and I leave it there as my "in case of emergency, break glass" type of backup plan lol He has it for naps and at bed time and sometimes in between if he's having a meltdown and nothing else works. I am guilty of carrying one with us in public in case he has a fit at the store. It's our "baby cork" lol Lazy, lazy, lazy, I know. Jenn, you can yell at me too lol! I think the way we're going to handle getting rid of them is going to be cold turkey but I'm not sure exactly when we'll do it. I always thought by his second birthday....but now that's only in a few months and I don't think he's ready yet. He's cutting 6 teeth at once now, and I'd feel awful taking away something that soothes him right now. We'll see how it goes...maybe by Christmas?

Krista - posted on 08/07/2009

I try not to judge because my nephew had a pacifier for a VERY long time, but it turned out he had sensory processing disorder and could not in any way soothe himself without it. I try to think of the medical reasons that one might need something that long. My son still has a pacifier and he's 23 months. I'm going to be taking it away from him very soon, but I know it will involve some sleepless nights and early mornings, so I'm actually trying to steel MYSELF for the momentous job. However, he does not get one unless he's sleeping and when he finds one and sticks it in, I tell him he's a big boy and big boys don't need sookies (our word for it). He relinquishes it and runs off and gets on with his day.

Dana - posted on 08/06/2009

Luckily Ethan doesn't use a pacifier or a bottle. He drinks out of a regular cup instead of a sippy cup. He just turned one and I sometimes wish he used a pacifier because I breastfeed and my nipple is his pacifier when he wakes in the night. Which is 3-4 times a night still. He did use a pacifier until about 4or 5 months,he then decided he didn't want it anymore. Also for all those who thought a pacifier was bad, my motto was, better a pacifier than a thumb, you can't take a thumb away.

Sharon - posted on 08/06/2009

AUGH neither of my boys wanted pacis. But my daughter. I SOOOO wanted to kill my husband for giving her one. We didn't get her off pacis until she was nearly 4 and even then my mom did it. We had weaned her to "no paci' during the day. But she went to stay a weekend with my mom and my mom said "big girls don't suck on pacis!" and threw it away. My husband was soooo mad and offered her one after my mom left and she said "no i'm a big girl" and walked away. that was it.

JL - posted on 08/03/2009

Mya my first was addicted to her paci but we got her off it by age 2. Basically we started off around age 1 letting her use them for bedtime and naptime only. After awhile we took them away at naptime and by 2 she was only holding them in her hand when she went too bed and that Christmas when she was 2 1/2 we talked her into getting rid of the one paci she still carried around by telling her that she was giving it to a baby that needed it. My son never used a paci..he hated them but some nights I wished he had used them because I have had far more problems with him going to sleep on his own. The paci was a security blanket for my daughter when she slept.



Both my kids were off their bottles when they turned 1. My daughter was off her sippy cup by age 2 1/2. My son who is 23 months uses sippy cups some with the straws and some without and he drinks from juice boxes. We have been trying to have him use a cup but he throws them and makes a huge mess so he will be on the sippy cup longer than my daughter was since he is such a messy wild kid. I am sometimes judgemental too especiallly when I see kids that are 4 and older and they are still breastfeeding, using pacis, still on the bottle, and are still sitting in baby strollers I think WTF?!?

Sara - posted on 08/03/2009

I've heard that cutting off the end is a good way to break them of it too. A coworker of mine just did this with his 18 month old. The kid had trouble going to bed for a couple of nights but now acts like he never had the paci!

Angie - posted on 08/03/2009

I think it would be a problem, when you as a stranger go up and take it away from that child! :) hahaha, but I think every single parent is the same way!!!! Me...I have to bite my tongue on more than one occasion. Also it is very hard working in a daycare...you see so many kids that you just want to spank! :)

Kaya didn't use a pacifier, which at times I wish she did.

Good tip: For the mom's who are having a hard time getting their little ones off the pacifier, cut the end off...they go to suck and they will think its broke...so they end up making the choice for themselves. I don't know how effective it is, but my nephew was on the pacifier to almost 2 and my sister-in-law did that, and hasn't touched one since.

Michelle - posted on 08/03/2009

My daughter has a paci and i hate, hate, hate it. I WILL have her off it before she is 2 and i dont care how hard it is, she only has it now for bed time, she doesnt get it any other time and she knows it. I pick my younger brother up from school and see 3 year olds running round with them in there mouths and i just think its horrible. I know a 4 year old kid who has it in his mouth constantly, he has learnt to talk with it and i cant understand a word he says.

ME - posted on 08/03/2009

Miles has been using straws since he was 9 months old, but he still has a paci for naps and bed time...we are planning to take them away (if he hasn't 'lost' them all) by his 2nd bday. This is six months away, and I admit that I am slightly frightened...I know he's really little, but man does he know how to get his way.

Esther - posted on 08/03/2009

Lucas has always liked his pacis so much that when he was about 3-4 months old, he would pull them out of the mouths of the other babies at daycare and stick them in his own mouth (gross, I know). He even did that when he already had one and would just hold one in his hand (he still does that). It's not going to be easy to break him.

Krista - posted on 08/03/2009

I guess Cohen never had that urge to suck like most babies...he could never keep a soother in his mouth, and he has never sucked his thumb either. But, if he takes after either one of us, he's going to have some dental problems anyway...poor kid!

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2009

Cadence was never into dummies (pacifiers) but she did drink her milk out of a bottle for a LONG time!
Shia was a dummy addict! I'm mean tho so i phased it out pretty quickly! Especially at night because i didn't want to keep getting up all the time to find the blooming thing! Now she has it at nap time and that's it.
She still has milk in the morning and at night in her bottle. I keep offering her a beaker but she throws it at me! I think at the moment at least it's more important for her to have the milk than to worry about what she's drinking it out of. (if that makes sense!)

I used to think dummies were HORRIBLE things, but i'd rather a dummy than a thumb! 2years of braces makes me anti thumb sucking! :)

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

Im far to jugemental about the paci but I know its cus I never had to deal with it. neither of my girls liked it, and i thank my lucky stars. For a lot of kids its about the sucurity of it just like it can be with a bottle. Practice makes perfect tho' keep trying is all you can do.

Krista - posted on 08/03/2009

I have to admit, I judge too. But, for me it was easy...Cohen didn't even like pacifiers and he never really learned how to use one. When he was tiny it would sometimes help him nap, but I'd have to hold it in his mouth until he fell asleep. I think the last time I used one with him was when he was around 2 months old. I didn't have to deal with him going through withdrawal, so it was pretty easy! I don't yet know how attached he's going to be to his bottle. He's 8 months old, and still gets a bottle several times a day, but he drinks water out of a sippy cup. I go back to work when he's 11 months, and I'd like to mostly have him off the bottle by then...see how it goes!

~Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

.................yeah, you're mean. Rowan looks absolutely MISERABLE in all her pics, gosh knows!



LOL!

Sara - posted on 08/03/2009

Ha ha...I'm a mean mommy, he'd be scarred for life!



See, for me I took the paci away at 6 months. I also sleep trained by let her cry. I'm not giving her a sippy cup either...I'm trying to teach her to use straws. I'm so mean.



Thanks guys...love you too!

Esther - posted on 08/03/2009

LMAO - I just wear depends ;) Spare time is indeed limited. But I still have to face the music. Just haven't found the courage yet. I'll get there. Otherwise I'll ship Lucas to Sara for a week so she can set him straight ;)

~Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

well, it's better than p'ing in the NJT 'bathrooms'.....


(I always loved trying to hover while the train sawyed back and forth. I lost more good pairs of shoes p'ing on that damn train....)

Sapphire - posted on 08/03/2009

Maybe she pees on the NJ Transit tracks ;-)

~Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

...no valid excuses.

...from a woman that works in Manhattan.

right.

I know what your 'travel' schedule / work schedule must be.

I'm surprised you have time to pee.

=)

Esther - posted on 08/03/2009

I love you Sara. You're totally right. I have no valid excuses. I'm just a whimp.

Sapphire - posted on 08/03/2009

Matthew had that damn paci until 2 1/2, bottles until just at age 2 and sippies until at least age 3ish. Lazy me? Maybe. Better than a shrieking child. This time last year I remember completely ditching sippy cups altogether cause we just didn't use them. My son knew perfectly well how to drink form a regular cup. But he does boycott drinking unless there was a straw.



Also want to say that sometimes it's easy to be judgemental when you don't know a child's situation. In one of the autistic classrooms in my district, all of the pre-K through easily 2nd grade kids still drink from a sippy cup. There's 1-2 little ones that still need that bottle/sports cap. Ya never kow if that older cild has something wrong with his/her mouth, tounge, teeth, esophogus, etc. One of my former student's has a little sister with Down's Syndrome and this little girl alsways had a pacifier with her. She must have been 8 or 9. Not saying it's right or wrong, I'm not the parent. Just an observation.

~Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

Well, stop feeling like shit, that's not what we DO here!



We love you....you're allowed to have an attitude.



;)

Sara - posted on 08/03/2009

Ok, so now both you guys have made me feel like complete shit for saying those things. Maybe that's what I needed not to be so judgemental of people I see out and about.

~Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

***YELLS AT ESTHER****



Feel better?



I have to say I didn't have a hrad time with paci removal....well, with Peter. At about 12 / 13 months, I gave him his paci and he looked at it and chucked it across the room. Well, shit, that was easy. Autumn....not so much. I got her down to where it was just a nap-time / bed time thing....but then it got to " I won't sleep without it". She was between 18 months and 2 when I finally just got rid of them all. I put them all in a little bowl in her room and told her NOT to lose them. One by one....they got 'lost' ...usually outside which meant that if she dropped one, I tossed it. She hung onto the last one for a good 2 weeks and then SHE lost that one. We had been learning sign language...so she knew what all gone meant, and I told her....there's no more, they're all gone. She cried for the first couple of nights at bedtime, but since there was no nap paci anymore, she {we} just didn't take naps for a few days. By bedtime, she was exhausted, so she only really missed it for a couple of nights because she fell right out when she laid down.

Peter used a sip cup up until about ....maybe 4 /5 months ago. Only one of his arms works really well, and his coordination while he was on anti-convulsants wasn't very good, so using a regular cup was difficult at best. We're now completely off meds (yesterday-woooooooooooooooooo! no more pills!!! My happy non-confused, non-dizzy son is back!!!) and his coordination is improving. He's been able to figure out the 'big boy cup' pretty well so far. He's much better with a straw or a sports bottle, but we're working on it. Autumn has been on regular cups for about a year...unless we're in the car or outside, and then she gets a sports bottle or a cup w/ a lid and a straw.

Esther - posted on 08/03/2009

I have to admit, I'm having a hard time taking the pacifier away from Lucas and he's now 19 months. He also still drinks his milk from a bottle (**hangs head in shame**). He's always been such a terrible sleeper and has only recently started sleeping through the night more regularly, that I just don't have the heart to take it away and start all over again. I'm trying to gradually get him off the pacifier, but I haven't done the cold turkey thing. For now, he's just not allowed to have one outside the house (although again, I admit, I'm a lazy parent sometimes where, if he has a meltdown in the middle of Target, I will stick one in). Go ahead, yell at me. I deserve it.