Personal Attacks

ME - posted on 12/03/2010

In debate, a personal attack is one leveled at the debater rather than at their argument...This is a logical fallacy whether it is particularly hurtful or not...

Katherine - posted on 12/03/2010

OMG!!! Did you just call me a bitch???



*runs off to tell on Tara*

Tara - posted on 12/03/2010

LOL
A personal attack is when someone is being a complete frkkin moron and due to lack of ability, intense emotion or other factors, resorts to taunting, name calling or ridicule in order to support their side of the debate.
It's not hard to find them even when the poster has attempted to veil them in a general format.
hope that helps you bitch. lol j/k of course.

Krista - posted on 12/03/2010

Young moms makes me want to grow huge , muscular and green and wear nothing but ripped up pants .

Stop it, Loureen. You're turning me on.

As far as a personal attack goes...it's sort of like trying to define obscenity: everybody has their own viewpoint as to what it is. I have a pretty thick skin, and well, this IS a debate board, so I certainly don't expect everybody to agree with me. But I would definitely consider it a personal attack if someone made derogatory comments about me or about my kid. I tend to just let it roll off, though, unless it's really egregious.

Katherine - posted on 12/03/2010

Yes, Carol *IT* id cropping up everywhere. Very hard to keep my big mouth shut. Oh if only I could tell you.

Terri-lee - posted on 12/03/2010

not a personal attack:
parent one: There's nothing wrong with spanking your child as long as your not leaving a bruise! or doing it out of anger.

parent 2: I disagree, I believe spanking is abuse in itself and we do not spank in our household.

parent 1: i disagree. some children need a spanking. words are not enough. I was raised with a spank or two and I turned out pretty good.. but each to there own.

parent 2: well, my opinion stands i dont believe its necessary and there are other ways to train a child.

etc etc....

but this would be a personal attack:

parent one: There's nothing wrong with spanking your child as long as your not leaving a bruise! or doing it out of anger.

parent 2: I disagree, and anyone who spanks there child are abusive idiots who need to get a life.

parent 1: i disagree. some children need a spanking. words are not enough. I was raised with a spank or two and I turned out pretty good.. but each to there own.

parent 2: well while your kid sits in a corner rocking back and forth like a psycho due to physical abuse, mine will be happily growing up normal.


LOL. its not hard to catch onto personal attacks. even ones that are more subtle.
etc etc....

Tah - posted on 12/03/2010

sayiing "good morning" without a smiley face..

Stifler's - posted on 12/03/2010

When you call the person derogatory names because of their opinion or assume things about them and write them in your post for all and sundry (basically slandering them). Nothing else is really a personal attack. And I agree with Carol, it's a debate board. There's been posts that are all like "we're supposed to be supporting each other not tearing each other down" when someone has asked honest opinions or for advice and people haven't said what the OP wanted to hear.

Sandra - posted on 12/03/2010

Sometimes, I think about starting a new community. Something along the lines of, "Moms who are tired of all the stupid, ignorant people that seem to be out there." I feel it would be nice to have a forum to be able to discuss the stupidity of the world sometimes. Bahahahahah! It seems to me that common sense is probably the least common thing out there...

C. - posted on 12/03/2010

Nikki, I thought I was the only one whose fingers ended up with a mind of their own ;)

C. - posted on 12/03/2010

Hehe.. Lisa M, I had to unlike just so I cold think it was funny again :) That made me laugh really hard..

Charlie - posted on 12/02/2010

It sounds enticing LOL.

Minnie - posted on 12/02/2010

Young moms makes me want to grow huge , muscular and green and wear nothing but ripped up pants .

You mean you don't always want to look like that? *shrugs*

Johnny - posted on 12/02/2010

Direct personal insults, name calling, and belittling. Otherwise, grow a pair or get off an internet debate board. I've seen things on here that I find offensive, and generally I will just attempt to respond with an argument against whatever was said, although I do occasionally lose my cool. If I do, I try to take a day or two off to regain perspective. It's just the internet!!!

I get really tired of the endless parade of people showing up in the debating communities using lines like, "we're supposed to be moms supporting each other" or "it's my opinion and you've got no right to disagree." I've got nothing constructive to say to those people. I do frequent other communities (non-debating) and when I'm there, I support people. I don't just come here to argue, I like to support moms who are struggling through things that I've already struggled through. But in here, it's not about that. And if you are expecting a lovefest, you haven't read the preamble.

Now the Welcome page is a whole other animal. I suspect I know what the root of your problem is Katherine, "it" is cropping up all over COM's.

La - posted on 12/02/2010

Pretty much anything you say nowadays will be offensive to someone somewhere especially when it is over the internet and you can't hear the tone of someone's voice. I've been accused of saying "offensive" things that were simply my generally stated, no name calling, honest opinions. Unless someone is directly calling you names, we all need to grow thicker skins and move on. Opinions are like assholes- everyone has one and they all stink.

Charlie - posted on 12/02/2010

Young moms makes me want to grow huge , muscular and green and wear nothing but ripped up pants .

Shannen - posted on 12/02/2010

Katherine i have that a LOT on SAHM and young mums, or even one of the after babies ones. A little common sense goes a long way people!

Jenn - posted on 12/02/2010

Well, when I told someone I wanted to punch them in the face one time - that was a personal attack! LMAO!! OK - so it's not funny - I was being an idiot.

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

Nope, no one in this community.

Bonnie - posted on 12/02/2010

hahaha Katherine i'm laughing at it, but meanwhile, I hope it was not me lol

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

This one today....OMG I wanted to say, "What!!! Did you fall off the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down????

Nikki - posted on 12/02/2010

I always type it, just so I can see it there in black and white, then I either change it to make it less offensive or delete it. I find it helps....

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

Sometimes I wish I could say what I really wanted to. I have but not often.

Nikki - posted on 12/02/2010

Sometimes people just ask to be personally attacked, I know it's not appropriate but there are some dumb shit comments where it's really hard to stop typing nasty stuff. My fingers just get possessed at times by the overwhelming need to tell them they are stupid.

Dana - posted on 12/02/2010

Except when we're over here playing in DM. lol



*runs off to check WtCoM*

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

That we have. I think we run a tight ship.

Erin - posted on 12/02/2010

Well it's certainly not the circus it once was!

Dana - posted on 12/02/2010

Erin, I think that's another issue too, what is okay here in a debating forum is different on the Welcome Page too. If someone is trying to get answers and people start attacking that person as doing something "stupid" among other things, we all have to step in and mellow it out. We've actually been pretty successful in keeping things polite on WtCoM compared to the past. :|

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

No, that was a dumb thing to say on her part. We don't tolerate stupid :P

Sandra - posted on 12/02/2010

It's ok. I should have made myself a bit clearer. I have seen many people say that for support, which I do completely understand. I just found it mind-boggling to see someone say something like that and then proceed to debate. Ridiculous. It made me want to shake them vigorously. Lol.

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

@ Fiona, that made perfect sense. Like I said when you come in here new it's almost like hazing of sorts.

C. - posted on 12/02/2010

Oh, well that one I missed. Sorry :/

Sandra - posted on 12/02/2010

Unfortunately, in the post I'm referring to, the said female started the sentence with that and then proceeded to inform another person she was wrong.

Isobel - posted on 12/02/2010

I think where the line gets blurry is when we say things like "anybody who leaves their toddler in the water is stupid" "anybody who doesn't know god doesn't know how to love" "anybody who spanks is abusive" "people who SAY they tap are lying to make it sound like it's not as bad as it is"

When you are one of those people, those statements can sound incredibly offensive...are they personal attacks? I don't know...kinda depends on who says it and in what context I think.

We all know when somebody's making an intentionally vague statement that is pointed directly at us...that's where it gets a little murky for me.

C. - posted on 12/02/2010

Sandra, some people who have been a member of this community do that for support reasons. They trust and respect the women on here and their opinions and would rather post questions to this group than somewhere else where they have spent less time. I am one of them at times.

Sandra - posted on 12/02/2010

I must agree, it seems a lot of people don't understand the "debating" concept. Heck, I remember seeing one post where the woman actually started her sentence with, "I'm not here to debate..." Really?!?!?! Did she even bother to notice she joined a debating community?

Fiona - posted on 12/02/2010

What constitutes a personal attack to me other than direct name-calling: something negative, insulting, demeaning or belittling directed at me, by using my name or quoting or referencing me or one of my posts. Thankfully, I have never felt the need to report/flag anything like this directed at me.

But, I see more and more instances on here where people (usually those who have been around for awhile) have learned to get around the No THUMPS policy and found a loophole to insult, demean or belittle someone without it actually being a direct or personal attack. Using a generalised way of framing an insult but clearly being directed at a certain someone, responding to a previous post or even referring to a previous poster by name and using inflammatory language to indirectly insult them. It doesn't usually bother me unless it derails a thread or gets nasty, I figure that if people are petty and small enough to get their kicks by behaving that way to strangers on an internet forum, then really that is their struggle. I see a lot of implied insults as well, but implied insults or implied slurs on someone's character rely on the individuals interpretation and if you have confidence in your choices, decisions, values etc, and own your emotions and actions and reactions then people can imply all they like and it really shouldn't be a personal concern.

Argh, I don't know if I even made sense. I am really struggling lately to make myself understood in a succinct manner. Maybe time to take another break from COM's and get my mind focussed on less trivial stuff?...

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

Because some people just don't get the concept of DEBATING!!!

Erin - posted on 12/02/2010

Oh yeah it happens alright lol. All the friggin time.

Bonnie - posted on 12/02/2010

I agree Erin. Just saying that i've seen it happen.

Erin - posted on 12/02/2010

Well that's not really something to be offended by, and it's certainly doesn't constitute a persona attack. If that happened to me, I would then challenge the other member to explain why I was wrong. I wouldn't tuck my tail between my legs and run off and cry.



Edited: to add a phrase I accidentally deleted lol.

C. - posted on 12/02/2010

@Katherine.. Oops :)

@Dana.. No reason, none at all. And I didn't take it out of context. I read the whole thing and comprehended it quite well, too. I just think it's ironic b/c there is someone on here who keeps picking me out of the crowd just to argue b/c I never agree with them, that's all.

Bonnie - posted on 12/02/2010

I have seen instances where someone told someone else they were wrong without even having anything to back their reasoning and the other person has gotten offended.

Teresa - posted on 12/02/2010

So long as no one ever takes my 'bite me' posts as a personal attack.... I'm all good. ;)

Erin - posted on 12/02/2010

Telling someone they are wrong is not a personal attack IMO. That is still arguing the topic. Telling them they're wrong and don't deserve kids is a whole other matter :-/

Erin - posted on 12/02/2010

Other than outright name-calling it's a bit of a grey area. Which is why, on DM, we rarely take any action without conferring with the other mods.

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2010

LOL Christina, I was talking about the Welcome page ;)

Dana - posted on 12/02/2010

No shit, Loureen.

And Christina, you're taking my statement out of context. The full sentence is "I think it's anytime you're purposely targeting a person and being mean, calling names or making extremely rude comments."

Big difference there...

Rebecca - posted on 12/02/2010

I think it's as simple as this-

Person A: I think this

Person B: I don't think that

Person A: You are a stupid person and I'm pretty sure you smell too. Oh and you are a terrible mother

Person C: I agree that you smell

Charlie - posted on 12/02/2010

It's like when someone says " pacifiers are terrible and have no real benefits "

other person says " actually they have been proven to be helpful for colic babies "

other person "OMG how dare you attack me , this was just my opinion and I'm allowed to have one but I guess I should just not talk at all BLAH , BLAH , BLAH "

sounds a bit dramatic doesn't it until you realize how many drama queens react like that when you challenge their opinion .