Piercing baby girls ears

Merry - posted on 07/09/2011 ( 52 moms have responded )

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Ok so I have a very judgmental opinion on this :/
I hate piercing baby girls ears
I think it's mean to put your baby through pain and risk infection just so she looks cuter to you.
The baby doesn't benefit from it and yet she has to feel the pain for the moms benefit.
The holes could grow unevenly
It could get infected
She could hate the holes
Honestly I think it just looks bad, it looks to me like the mom cares more about appearances then she does her baby's best interest.

There, I know it's horribly judgmental
I know it's rude.
I'd never say this to people's faces because I think it's not my place, but this is a debate group so I'm putting it out there.

I'm sure moms who pierce their baby's ears see it totally different, one minute of pain and she will forget, easier to keep clean, healed before she can grab them, etc.

I don't think they are bad moms, but I still hate the fact that it's legal to pierce your baby's ears. Permanently altering your child's body for cosmetic reasons just doesn't sit well with me.

Ok, I'll apologize right away for all the people I'll offend by posting this, I don't mean you're bad for piercing your baby's ears, but this IS what I feel deep down when I see it........

Let's debate :D

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Sarah - posted on 07/10/2011

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But if you wait until they're old enough to want them for themselves, you won't have to hold them down.

They didn't have to hold me down at 12yrs old! ;)

[deleted account]

I don't like modifying other people's bodies for aesthetic purposes without their consent. I think its' barbaric, always have. If the argument is that they wont' feel it or they won't remember it, then there's NO reason not to tattoo the family name across thier backsides.

[deleted account]

That video is effed up. That woman needs help. why do it? Present me with a reasonable argument why I can't take 4 week old and get his last name tattooed across his face? I think it's cool looking and he's a minor so I can do whatever I want right? Better to do it now than later when it'll hurt more and he won't remember the pain now. Plus this way I can monitor it for infection much better than he can when he's older. Really, it's our family and our right to raise our kids any way we wish right?

Merry - posted on 07/10/2011

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Why is that mom in the piercing video saying 'I'm sorry' over and over again?
No one MADE her pierce the baby's ears, it's not like she's hurting for a greater purpose like a surgery, and it's not an accident.......
Theres no good reason to be apologizing to your baby because you hurt them for your benefit.

[deleted account]

It is worse than ear piercing however, that doesn't make ear piercing infants right. Murder is worse than GBH but you wouldn't say that GBH was right because there were worse crimes would you.

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Adrienne - posted on 07/10/2011

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I totally agree with you! And I also think, sometimes if I lay on my ears wrong at night, they hurt the next morning and I have had my ears pierced since I was about 9..usually it's just my cartlidges but still, I've had those pierce for atleast 5 years....I don't like the way it looks either and I couldn't stand the thought of doing it to my daughter. Also, I think something like that should be up to my daughter. My (to be ex) husband has a cousin who is 19 years old, and does not have her ears pierced because she simply doesn't want it done. I am going to leave it up to my children, as my parents did, and when they are old enough to decide for themselves, and learn to take care of them themselves, then I will take them to get it done if they want to.

Amie - posted on 07/10/2011

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I didn't do it. I won't do it. It's cosmetic and not needed.

Our oldest did ask for earrings at 7. She was ready to take care of them. So she did. We went, the lady explained exactly what was going to happen, even that it would hurt for a bit. She asked her if she wanted them both done at the same time, one at a time or not at all. She chose both at the same time. She got teary eyed but that was it.

She still has the holes at 11 and still takes care of them.

If our younger two daughters want to get their ears pierced, it will be the same thing. They will have to be old enough (there's no right age and each child is different) to take care of them. They will have to sit through the same mini lecture with the lady on what is goign to happen, etc. If they still want them done, then ok.

Never to a baby or toddler or some young children.

Vegemite - posted on 07/10/2011

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NO! Not ever, no reason, no excuse. If a person, which is what children are, want to get their ears pierced then fine but let them make that decision for themselves, even if they change their minds.

Becky - posted on 07/10/2011

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Yeah, I don't get the whole "so you don't have to hold them down while they're fighting it" argument! If they're old enough to ask for it and change their mind at the last minute and start fighting it, I'm not going to be holding them down! It'll be, "Okay, we can go and we'll come back when you're ready." Why any parent would ever want to hold a fighting, screaming child down to put unnecessary holes in their ears is completely beyond me!

[deleted account]

Grievous Bodily Harm (when someone is hit etc), sorry I thought that was a universal phrase it must just be a British one. Yeah I wasn't implying that ear piercing is the same as murder, that was just another example of two things that are wrong (one being worse than the other) but both still being wrong (if that makes sense).

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/10/2011

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I agree Toni, but murder/crimes are in a whole different ball park then altering your child's look for beauty. And what is GBH?

Merry - posted on 07/10/2011

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Yup almost barfed.
Gonna hug my baby girl now.
Culture is NO good reason to hurt your babies.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/10/2011

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THIS IS GRAPHIC: but also what they consider like beauty...is this not worse then ear piercing?

thats why i dont see it as bad when i know of other painful things that happen in the name of looking good. They are only similar when it comes to the fact that pain is involved...but differ in the amount of pain and time that it takes to heal.

[deleted account]

That is just barbaric, to anyone who says it doesn't hurt the baby I want to know why did she cry then - because it HURT. I am not stupid enough to think that when I get my kids vaccinations it doesn't hurt them ear piercing is the same in that you are stabbing something into your child. Poor babies...

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/10/2011

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dont agree with that at all..but that is her child.
someone on the welcome page asked whats a good age to get her baby's ears pierced.. I said "any age is fine or you could wait until she can ask"

is it fine that the baby is in pain...nope, but the procedure its self is not as bad as other things people do to their children in the name of beauty.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/10/2011

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Tyrae Ovenden

I did say I could not hold my child down to get it done...before 5-6months you have to hold your child anyway because many times they cant sit up on there own.

if a mother decides to force her child to get their ear pierced despite them screaming no dont!..to me that is her right to do so; it is her child, but i dont agree with that.

Tyrae - posted on 07/10/2011

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@♥SEOUL SISTA♥ ;-)
If the child is old enough not to want to get it done why would you hold them down and force them to do it? That would be teaching the child that no matter how much they say no the things they don't want happening are still going to happen. That's definitely a good way to look at life don't you think?

Tyrae - posted on 07/10/2011

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I would never pierce my daughters ears before she was old enough to want and ask for them done. It's not my body to be altering, and I would never assume such.

My mother got my ears pierced when I was 8 months old, I puked all over the lady that did it. I don't wear earings now and truly wish it hadn't been done. But it was and it was the 80's... Supposedly it was all the rage back then.
When my daughter is old enough to ask for those things done and I think she is old enough to understand the consequences then she can get them. Not before...

Krista - posted on 07/10/2011

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Laura, I'm with you on that one.

My opinion of things is that if I'm going to hurt my infant, I want it to be as little as possible, and not without a DAMN pressing reason. So vaccines, yes. Needed medical surgery, yes. Having sharp metal shoved through her tiny, precious little earlobes, just because I think it looks cute?

Hell, no. Like you said, our job is to protect them FROM hurt, not to inflict it just for shits and giggles.

Merry - posted on 07/10/2011

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Seoul sista, I couldn't hold down a bigger baby either, but I'd almost feel worse doing it to a unsuspecting infant who can't comprehend why she's all of a sudden in so much pain. She would be looking at me screaming and I'd wonder if she thinks I'm the one hurting her. Why am I not keeping her safe? I'd worry she would lose some of that innocent baby trust because I caused her pain.

Yeah I read into it a bit much but that's why I couldn't do it.

Merry - posted on 07/10/2011

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I'm not saying it to anyone's face 'schenkers' I can't see you through the computer!

[deleted account]

I would never call it abuse, but I'm not a fan. Of course, I'M 34 and never had any desire to pierce my ears. I think they are stupid and pointless...

My girls started expressing interest when they were 5. I wasn't a fan then either. They aren't going to be allowed to get them done until they can prove to me they are responsible enough to care for them by themselves (by showing responsibility in other areas at home). Yeah... I think it's gonna be a while. ;)

Rosie - posted on 07/10/2011

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i dont' like it either. i think it's something to look forward to doing together, and the baby doesn't get any enjoyment out of it. how do you know if your kid wants it? meh, i don't think it's the end of the world or anything, i just don't see why people do it.

Dana - posted on 07/10/2011

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Just so you know, Laura, you are saying it to mother's faces by stating how you "feel deep down" about it, in this thread.

I don't think it should be illegal to pierce your baby's ears. However I would never have it done with my child.

Minnie - posted on 07/10/2011

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Little baby earlobes are so soft and perfect and sweet.

Yes! Why would I marr that perfect buttery-soft peach fuzz of an earlobe! It's perfect. Doesn't need to be decked out with metal.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/10/2011

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If I did decided to pierce my daughter’s ears(if I ever have one) it would be before 5-6months old..that is a BIG IF.



. Why? Because as they get older you will have to hold them down and I just cant get myself to do that (too my feature child)



Im not against ear piercing but I don’t like when a child is trying to fight to get away or fight the person who is coming at them or begging their mom “Please no” ect

Lacye - posted on 07/10/2011

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I don't believe that a child, whether boy or girl, should have their ears pierced until they are old enough to take care of them on their own.

After my baby girl was born, the mother of my husband's other child had gotten her daughter's ears pierced when the child was 3 months old and she was trying to pressure me into doing it using the same stupid excuse that it looks cute and it will make it easier to clean. She even told me that it wouldn't even hurt my child! I told her flat out that personally, I think it looks kinda tacky for an infant to have their ears pierced. Boy that started a huge fight but at least I got the point across that I wasn't going to do it.

Krista - posted on 07/10/2011

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I'm with you ladies...I just don't see the point in it. I'm not going to go so far as calling it abusive, but I see it as completely unnecessary and silly.

Plus, I just don't like how it LOOKS. Little baby earlobes are so soft and perfect and sweet. It just looks...weird...to see them all blinged out.

Minnie - posted on 07/10/2011

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You're not rude to have an opinion, Laura. You already said you don't say it to other people's faces. Nor would I.



I agree with you. There is nothing more to ear piercing than vanity and to punch pieces of metal into a baby's body for vanity's sake isn't justifiable in my book.



I don't like seeing babies and toddlers with piercings.



My girls will be given the option only IF they ask for it and if they can care for them.

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Sarah - posted on 07/10/2011

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Nope, I would never pierce my babies ears.
I have 2 girls and they will both be waiting until they're at least 11yrs until I let them get their ears pierced.

Putting a baby through pain for no other reason than "it looks pretty" (which I don't think it does) seems really cruel and unnecessary to me.

[deleted account]

I agree with you Laura - I don't like young children (I say children my friend pierced her sons ear at 6 months old) with pierced ears, for me I don't see the need to put your child through a procedure that will be likely to cause them pain (mine hurt but not too badly - but then I understood the pain) and could become infected and cause them yet more pain.

My daughter will choose to pierce her ears or not when she is old enough, if she wants to like others she will have to meet certain criteria (such as maturity) before we agree to allow it.

Teresa - posted on 07/10/2011

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I pierced my newborns ears (well my doctor did). She was my 3rd child, 2nd daughter. I did it because our 1st daughter wanted hers done so bad but it was like WW3. I figured it would be far easier as a newborn and it was.

Would I do it again? No. The reason being that I want my other girls to make the choice when they are ready.

Jodi - posted on 07/10/2011

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Well, let's be honest Laura, you've already judged them, so they are probably not REALLY feeling very comfortable coming forward because they've already been judged before they open their mouths..... :\

But you never know, there are some brave souls in this community!

Merry - posted on 07/10/2011

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That's a horrible story Laura :( I can't imagine how I'd feel if I had so ething go wrong on my baby girl like that! I mean it's totally unnecessary and if it goes wrong SHE has to live with it forever!
Yeah, not a fan.
Aren't there any ladies here who DO approve of baby piercings?.??

Isobel - posted on 07/10/2011

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I used to pierce ears for a living (or at least it was part of my job in the salon I worked in) and the thing is this

...if you put your finger behind your earlobe, you will feel a soft spot in the adjoining part of your skull.

There are no "special" earrings that are shorter in length for babies...and that post is entirely likely to penetrate into that soft spot.

I also was piercing a baby's ear once when the gun jammed and I had to find a way to physically remove it from the 6 month old baby's head while she was screaming and her parents were holding her down. (that was the last time I ever pierced an infant)

THEN there is bodily integrity to think of. I do not believe in altering anybody's body other than my own in any way that may or may not affect them for the rest of their life. period.

Becky - posted on 07/10/2011

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It's not something I plan to do if I have a daughter. I'm not a fan of putting my children through pain unecessarily. But, honestly, I'm too busy worrying about my own parenting choices to be bothered worrying about someone else's when it comes to stuff like this.

Jodi - posted on 07/09/2011

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Personally, it would never occur to me to pierce my baby's ears. It's cosmetic, and to me, totally unnecessary. Really, it is one of those things that should be both her choice AND her responsibility.



My daughter is 6 and she has asked if she could have her ears pierced. So she has established the first criteria. But at 6, I don't believe she is responsible enough to look after them herself. I have explained this to her, and she is perfectly okay with that. She is now looking forward to making a special occasion of it when she graduates Year 6 and goes on to high school.



I am not going to judge someone else's choice, and berate them for it, but I'm not a fan.

Erin - posted on 07/09/2011

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I'm not a fan, which is not surprising considering my Mum's stance on cosmetic alterations of infants (yes, she is a staunch intactivist too and refused to have my brother cut 27 yrs ago). One of the first things she said to me after finding out I was having a girl was 'you're not going to pierce her ears, are you?'.

So yeah, I cringe when I see a baby girl with pierced ears. I remember how much they ache afterwards (for days and days) from when I had mine done at 11. My daughter will be allowed to have hers done only when I am satisfied that she understands the pain involved, and is responsible enough to look after them.

[deleted account]

You're right, Tracey. I got my ears pierced when I was 13 or 14. I let them "grow over" in my 20s. I still have little weird lumps there. They are permanent.



What's strange is, I got a bunch of other piercings in college -- navel, nipples, lip. I let them all grow over in my 20s. Except for the navel one, which didn't heal properly because it was done poorly, you could never tell I had those piercings at all.



(Now if only I could get rid of this stupid tattoo...)

Joanna - posted on 07/09/2011

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I had mine pierced when I was 10, wore earrings regularly until I was 21. 6 years later, and I can still wear earrings if I want (which is rare, once a year maybe). They haven't closed. So it is permanent. I know of 2 women who wish their parents never pierced their ears, they have the little scars they hate.

I am waiting until my girls are old enough to want them, and responsible enough to care for them. It's up to them what they want to do with their bodies, it's not my place.

But I'm not offended if a parent has their children's ears pierced. I do think they may care too much about the physical appearance, and seriously wish they wouldn't have had it done, but I don't lose sleep over it, or think less of them as parents.

Suzie - posted on 07/09/2011

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okay another ought is the Pain they dont use pain killers or anything to num it like they do with other percidures. this can be done by a teenager at the Mall or some sales associate at Wal mart and the child will live with a mistke if it happands for the rest of there life i might feel diferntly if it was done by a doctor with a local but in my openion my daughter is three and when she is 10 or older i would allow her to get this done if she is responsible and can care for them i was 25

Sneaky - posted on 07/09/2011

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I agree with you 100% Laura.

The bit that always pisses me off is when people say "if she doesn't like them when she is older she can let them grow over". Umm, NO, she can't. Ear piercings are the only piercing recognized as being PERMANENT. They may shrink in gauge, and new skin might 'grow over' the hole, but the fistula (the tunnel of scar tissue through the ear) always remains.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/09/2011

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Haha… wailing you say..funny…anyway that’s what I think about it…10 times worse then a piercing (unless for medical reasons)

Mrs. - posted on 07/09/2011

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Yeah, this debate never goes off without some wailing about circ'd little boys.....



Anyway, I used to think this was dumb too, but then I realized it isn't my place to tell a parent what is cool to do with their child.



I'm not going to do it to my little girl, because I don't want to handle the upkeep of any infection or loose earring backs choking her. I have no cultural custom which includes piercing her ears either.



However, I know many have no problem with the upkeep and do have a culture that encourages it.

Suzie - posted on 07/09/2011

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all im going to say is we did not do it and i did not get mine done till my mid 20's there is no evedance of health benifits which there are for circs

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/09/2011

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That is miniscule compared to circumcision..NOW that procedure I don’t like

[deleted account]

I think its abuse. Everyone has the right to decide what happens with their own body. To physically alter another humans body without their consent is unethical. It should be illegal because everyone has the basic human right to bodily integrity.

[deleted account]

Several people close to me have pierced their baby girls' ears. I'm not a fan. The only reasons I can see having it done to a baby is 1. Mom thinks it's cute. 2. A baby can't pull on them and mom can clean them.

BUT what if an infection occurs? An infant doesn't understand what is happening, just that it hurts. What if baby grows up to not like them?

My sister is a grown woman without pierced ears and she has no interest in getting it done.

I on the other hand, begged my mom. When she felt I was old enough to care for them myself and keep up with my earrings my mom took me on a girls' day to have them done. It's a great memory. I can't wait to do the same with my girls should they chose to have their ears pierced.

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