Joy - posted on 06/30/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )
I have a doctor's appointment today to determine if my HCG level is going up or down. I was in the emergency room Saturday for light bleeding and I've been spotting ever since. I haven't said anything on CoM because honestly, I didn't feel like talking about it. The ultrasound Saturday showed a strong heart beat (120 bpm) and it also showed that I am only 6 weeks along, not the 10 I had originally thought. The heartbeat is a good sign, according to the doctor in the ER.
I'm so nervous about today. I keep trying to not think about what could be happening because that only gets me upset. But sometimes I can't help it. I've sat in the same exact chair I will sit in this afternoon, and heard the worst news several times. It never gets any easier. This morning I looked at my son and thought to myself, "He's enough". If I lose this baby, the son I already have, my beautiful Jacob, will be enough and I will be happy with just having him for the rest of my life. That's the only way I know how to look at it right this moment.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know what's going on because believe it or not, I really believe that some of you actually care. Keep us in your prayers and send us your good vibes. I need all the help I can get right now.