Pregnant mums to be who smoke!

Susanne - posted on 09/17/2010

I used to be a smoker, i started when i was 11 years old and when i got pregnant with my first i tried to quit but didnt ever manage it. I honestly believe that my sons low birth weight was a result of this, hes the only one of my four kids who was born 6lb the others were all 8lb odd. Hes healthy but small for his age even now, his brother who is 19 months younger towers over the top of him and everyone is always shocked that hes the oldest. Looking back i wish i'd tried harder to give up but its bloody hard at the time. I gave up as soon as he was born, cold turkey, i was in hospital for three days after he was born and i couldnt go for a smoke so when i came home i didnt restart. I havent had a cigarette in nearly 12 years but to be honest i still crave them every now and again and i think i always will.

Mandy - posted on 09/17/2010

Unless you've been a smoker then you don't know how hard it is to give up. It's an accepted medical fact that nicotine is as hard to quit as any hard drug. I still feel guilty that I couldn't 100% give up with my 1st, I tried everything but no Dr would prescribe me NRT while I was pregnant, it ended up making me so stressed that my bp sky rocketed, the mw ended up telling me to stop trying to quit and just have 1 a day - I could smoke it how I wanted, all at once or through the day, by the end I managed to drop that 1 cigarette most days. I was lucky to be able to quit before even falling pregnant with my 2nd and stayed quit the whole way through the pregnancy and nursing for over a year.
We shouldn't judge, as others have said we don't know the situation the mum is in, and a bit of support maybe would help them quit.

Chani - posted on 09/16/2010

I find it truelly discusting, so what about these women who have smack, alcohole or other drug addictions, is that all good because they have an addiction. These people are obvioulsy not capable of putting there babies health and well being before their own so it makes me wonder what kind of parent they will be.

Charlie - posted on 09/16/2010

I personally think its gross , i know it can be hard to give up an addiction and i commend mothers who at least try but i hate the bullshit some mothers spew just because they couldn't be assed giving up .

Every child deserves the best start at life even if that means the mother slowly giving up at least she is trying , mothers who dont try at all really should get their priorities straight.

Jodi - posted on 09/16/2010

It's ok Brandy, I actually wasn't personally offended. I made my choices, I own them, and I'm actually ok with that. I just wanted to point out that no-one in this thread is unaware of the potential consequences.

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2010

Thank you Paige, that's all I was trying to get across. Sometimes it's hard online to fully understand people or to word yourself properly in a way that won't offend anybody. Especially on a debating board.

Paige - posted on 09/16/2010

@ Brandy K
I got what you were trying to say Brandy, I think the original posts wording is what got some people questioning what you were saying though. :)

As for the effects of smoking during pregnancy, honestly, we know and hear about all these kids who gets serious side effects from their mothers smoking during pregnancy, but it's not very often that we actually get to see first hand what can happen. It's also like lead based paint. My mom and grandma etc grew up in the age where lead based paint was used on absolutely everything, and yet I haven't met anyone who's had medical problems attributed to licking a crib painted with lead based paint.

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2010

I completey understand that it's your choice and I never said that nobody knew the risks. I just noticed that alot of people said that they didn't KNOW anybody PERSONALLY whose children suffered the consequences so I was telling everyone that I DO know children personally who had problems. I never said it's not your choice or that you guys are oblivious or think it can't happen to you. I never "shoved anything down your throats", I simply told you what happened to them. I was actually just a bit surprised that nobody else knew kids who had problems from it. There is no need to get defensive because my intent was not to attack you and I am sorry if it came across differently.

Jodi - posted on 09/16/2010

Brandy, quite honestly, your post did come across as "well all you people who smoked and tell us your kids turn out ok obviously don't think they can have problems". That's all. Of course we realise there are risks and know about the potential issues. I don't think a single person here indicated otherwise.



And I am not saying it is right, just that shoving negative stories down people's throats isn't necessary.



You know one thing I was thinking? This really is akin to the abortion debate. Our bodies, our choice?

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2010

Sorry, I guess maybe I missed the ones who said their friends' kids did have problems. If I had read those, I wouldn't have posted it.

Lindsay - posted on 09/16/2010

**MOD Warning**

Let's please get back on topic, ladies!

Thanks-
Lindsay DM Mod

Paige - posted on 09/16/2010

I've seen you on other threads, so I know you do try to make light when things get a little tense, but not everybody can lol.

?? - posted on 09/16/2010

Oh, I agree lol which is why I joke, instead of take it seriously :p

Paige - posted on 09/16/2010

I'm not disagreeing with you Jo. and as much as I love playing devil's advocate to get people thinking; from reading some of the posts, from what I could tell, I saw some tension building and thought I'd say "hey guys this is a controversial topic, but it's a forum so everybody just chill!" lol

?? - posted on 09/16/2010

Brandy said: Ok, I was just reading through some posts and it doesn't seem that anyone has ever seen effects of smoking on any babies they know so I thought I would tell you about some of my friends' kids.


There really is no other way to decipher that statement. She read through the posts, and obviously chose to ignore the parts in everyone's posts that says their friends kid had problems, they know the risks of smoking, they know that it doesn''t mean something won't happen........... the only thing I can do is joke about that cause there's no way I can take it seriously lol

Brittney - posted on 09/16/2010

I think you should bite your tongue cause it's nobody's business but her own if she wants to smoke.

Paige - posted on 09/16/2010

I know I've taken a couple postings that made me think "oh well that's rude" but at the same time, everybody has to realize that this is a forum. We read the words, but can't hear how it's being said or see the body language accompanied by the statement. If anyone feels like they are personally being attacked, there are ways to go about it to make it stop, without adding fuel to the fire by having little war posts.

?? - posted on 09/16/2010

Those people that said they know kids who are fine whose parents smoked also said they know the risks.

I wasn't being rude, I was being sarcastic. Joking, if you wanna take it in a rude way, that's your perogative. I was just being silly, in response to your opening statement that really did come off with a 'well I'll tell you how it REALLY is' kind of vibe.

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2010

Jodi and Jo, I wasn't saying "none of you have a clue", I had just noticed alot of people saying that all the kids whose mother's smoked were fine so I was just telling you that my friend's kids weren't 100% fine and it does happen. There's no need to be rude to me, at no point in this conversation have I judged pregnant smokers, just gave information.

Petra - posted on 09/16/2010

I agree with you there, Paige - I did quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant and it was a planned pregnancy. I didn't think I would get pregnant within a few weeks of going off the pill, but when I found out I was, I went cold turkey and managed to do so without thinking I deserved a big ol' pat on the back. If you can't go cold turkey, do what you can to cut down as much as possible - its insanely hard to quit ciggies and pregnancy under ideal circumstances is still stressful. At least you're trying :-)

Paige - posted on 09/16/2010

I keep seeing posts about how if you know you're addicted then don't get pregnant....sometimes there are accidents and you couldn't have done anything more to prevent the pregnancy ie birth control and condom. So is this a go ahead to get an abortion if we get pregnant while we're still smokers? I don't believe in abortion, so for me, that wasn't even an option even though where I am it's more accessible to get than some places. But lets face it, unplanned pregnancies are more the norm than planned pregnancies these days, and it really doesn't help when schools aren't teaching about birth control, only condoms and the possible side effects (STI's) that you can get if you have sex sans a condom. Almost all of the people I know with kids, have had unplanned pregnancies, most of them were smokers, some managed to quit, others not.

Yes I realize I am playing devil's advocate here, but I'm a little tired of how some people think that because they managed to quit smoking, they deserve a soapbox. Like I said previously, I'm proud of you and admire you, but you really don't deserve that soapbox if it was just that easy to quit.

Ashley=) - posted on 09/16/2010

I guess we just have to agree for the moms who smoke, own the choice you make ,and own up to what ever outcome you are given..i hope for all there is no bad outcomes or side effects, complications.Best of luck to all.:-)safe mother&baby is all one wants.

?? - posted on 09/15/2010

Not even a glimpse of a clue. BLIND, I TELL YOU!

Jodi - posted on 09/15/2010

No, obviously none of us have a clue.

Brandy - posted on 09/15/2010

Ok, I was just reading through some posts and it doesn't seem that anyone has ever seen effects of smoking on any babies they know so I thought I would tell you about some of my friends' kids. Of my five friends who smoked during pregnancy, 3 of the kids had to use a puffer at some point in the first year of their lives. For 2 of these kids, it was only used for a few months. For the 3rd one, Rhoman, it was a steroid puffer and it was used until he was 18 months old and he still has breathing issues and if you are sitting 10 feet from him in the same room with the tv on, you can hear him breathing (wheezy, raspy) and he still needs to have a fast-acting inhaler nearby. His lungs had lots of time to develop as he was over a week late. Not only that, but his mother's placenta was damaged and almost twice the size of a normal placenta. Also, it's a good thing she had to have a c-section because of a small birth canal because if that hadn't happened, he would have gotten stuck with just his head out because the umbilical cord was less than 2 feet long. He is always sick, every time I see him his nose is running and he has a cough. He must have a low immune system. His mom had cut back to I think around a half a pack a day. The other 2's moms had cut back to 3 or 4 a day.

Liz - posted on 09/15/2010

I smoked through 4 pregnancies, a pack lasted almost a week. Am I proud of it, no, do I still smoke, yes? Do I want to quit, not right now, maybe someday. There are risks you may or may not be taking when you do anything during a pregnancy. I don't know how many people gave me crap about smoking but they took pain killers the whole time they were pregnant. Too much of anything can be harmful, so if you take anti depressants, pain killers, sleeping pills or any other kind of pharmaceuticals AT ALL, your not any better.

I can't agree with someone who doesn't even try to quit or cut down,but it's still a personal choice. I had a lot of support from friends and family and that helped me smoke as little as I was. And I can't say my kids ever had withdrawals from nicotine, my babies have always been way too happy for that to be the case. Most of the women I know smoked a little through there pregnancy and yes there kids are fine.

For you women comparing smoking to drug use, maybe you should see some photos of crack babies.

Morgan - posted on 09/15/2010

I started smoking when I was about 12 years old, at 24 after I married my hubby we started planning for a baby, we both made a deal that I wouls have to be smoke free for 1 year before we started trying, by this time a had been a pack a day smoker for about 12 years and was "addicted" for sure.
But I wanted a baby very badly.......a healthy baby so it was very easy for me to quit, I used the nicorite inhaler for about 3 months and then I was done yay!! I feel like if you smoke and you know its an addiction maybe you should worry about that BEFORE you get pregnant.....................if you get pregnant and smoke I cant see there being any greater motivation to quit. but thats just me!!
I also agree with sharon I always hear oh I smoked and my children are fine............. BULLSHIT!!!!

Rosie - posted on 09/15/2010

oh, and grant didn't have any signs of withdrawal. i don't know if its cause i only smoked about 4 cigs a day or not, but he was perfect, and healthy as could be.:)

Rosie - posted on 09/15/2010

for me sara it was a complete mind fuck. plus the fact that (this is going to sound bad) nobody i know that has smoked while pregnant has had anything happen to their children. it's not something that one can visually see the effects, like one can with fetal alcohol cyndrom (deformities, and such). so it really didn't sink into my head how harmful it is, even though logically i know it can be very harmful.

and just so we're clear i'm not saying i don't believe that cigarettes cause harm to a child i am absolutely positive they do, but when you have never seen or heard of anything first hand happening-or seen pictures like you can with FAS, it just doesn't seem more important than the urge to smoke. and also when you are pregnant, the baby isn't there. it's just a thing that you can't feel (early on) or know that it's actually a child until it is born and you are holding it in your arms. i mean we all KNOW that logically, but i can almost guarantee that nobody feels the same about the child before it is born as they do after it is born. it's a completely different feeling (at least for me it was). and i'm not saying i didn't already love my child, of course i did. i've had 2 miscarriages, as much as they hurt (dear lord they were soooo painful emotionally) it wouldn't compare to me losing one of my children now. all of those combined make for one big tug or war in your head, and the cigarette, the thing you can see, touch smell taste and want soooooo bad wins over the thing that isn't there yet.



i know most people won't understand, and thats fine, i can completely see why. but until they are the EXACT same situation i was in, and experienced everything that i have in my life then they can't know what it was like for me.

Jennifer - posted on 09/15/2010

I hate seeing pregnant women smoking but at the end of the day it's their choice whether thay want to potentially cause their child to be born with a condition.

Sara - posted on 09/15/2010

I don't mean this to sound overtly judgemental, but this is honestly what has always puzzled me about some women who smoke when pregnant. They say it's an addiction (I know, I smoked for 10 years, quit 2 years before I got pregnant) and therefore too hard to quit, will cause too much stress on the fetus, etc. But, when that little baby is born it will start going through nicotine withdraw. That minutes/hours/days old baby will then have to go through what was simply too tough for you, as an adult, to go through. How does that make sense?

Ashley=) - posted on 09/15/2010

No no why you dont or would not wish a bad thing on anyone or there baby..i can understand the feeling of anger to see moms take drugs, drink heavily and smoke there usual with no concern and there perfectly okay and there babys.You think really how harmful is it then to do this stuff, it seems the moms who do the harmful stuff even to the extreme have no problem and the ones who go by the book and docs orders have awful pregnancies or babys with birth defects etc.Forgive us for being honest but yep it sucks and it is upsetting.I came home from my emergency c-section just 2days after she was born, got out of the car to have my pregnant neighbour congratulate me..while smoking her cigarettes,she never cut down.i nearly lost my child and shes there with the chance to even at least cut down and stay healthy and she wont.Again making an effort is not frowned upon, being selfish and not caring and making a joke out of it or what the doctor tells you about your smoking when pregnant is.

Micha - posted on 09/14/2010

I think what a pregnant woman does is about as much your business as how she raises her child or whether or not she decides to get an abortion. I know exactly what I'm doing every time I light up a cigarette, and I do have the utmost reguard for my child. Do you know what those woman gave up durring their pregnancy? I gave up weed, pills, drinking, and many other "hard" drugs COLD TURKEY as soon as I found out and never touched them again. I kept coffee and cigarettes. Don't judge when you don't know the situation.

Kate CP - posted on 09/14/2010

It's also harder to quit smoking simply because, well, it's LEGAL. NOT SAYING IT SHOULDN'T BE! But, when you're trying to quit something and you can buy it any where without any legal restrictions and, in some cases, it's just about shoved in your face...it's hard. Show some compassion. :/

Rosie - posted on 09/14/2010

you know kayle, i get what you are saying, but i don't know how to explain addiction to cigarettes until you've been there, especially the mental addiction which is exasperated by stress. i've lost 2 children, i KNOW what it's like to experience loss, and i value my childrens lives just the same as everyone here. my response to losing my babies was to be VERY stressed. i had a miscarriage, hadn't had my period and then got pregnant again. i was on an emotional rollercoaster, and MY particular thing to do when stressed is smoke. (Or should i say- WAS to smoke since i have quit, yay me, lol!!) it's a total mind fuck when you are trying to quit and you are pregnant, and nobody is helping-just critisising.

Stifler's - posted on 09/14/2010

This is a load of defensive shit.

Nikki - posted on 09/14/2010

"I understand everyone's different and we all need to be supportive of each other and I'm all for that"
A bit of a contradiction there Heather given the content in your posts, just saying!

Maybe all of you posters who are disgusted these mother's could be so irresponsible and potentially harm their babies could be offering words of advice and support, maybe some tips for quitting, a little research rather than slamming these women who are most likely beating themselves up inside enough already.

Petra - posted on 09/14/2010

Yup, ask a doctor and they will say nicotine is as hard to give up, if not harder, than crack or heroin. Show some compassion for someone trying to something really difficult. I understand that there are a lot of preggo smokers out there who rationalize their pack-a-day habits away, but there are just as many who are trying to cut down to the bare minimum to make it manageable. Try not to be so judgmental and have a little compassion for people whose situations you know nothing about. Getting ganged up on when people don't know your circumstances sucks, doesn't it?

Paige - posted on 09/14/2010

Actually, my doctor compares quitting smoking to quitting Heroine. I am pregnant, and I smoke. I am ACTIVELY trying to quit IE CHEWING GUM, EATING SKITTLES, ELASTIC BANDS ON THE WRISTS, GLASSES OF WATER, MEDITATION etc every time that I have a craving. I have a sperm donor that tries to make my life a living hell when he's actually around to ask how the pregnancy is going, family members that have threatened to disown me, other family members who are so forceful of their opinions on how to raise a child that apparently I don't get a say in the matter, having to move back in with my parents, having a best friend walk out on me because I wasn't putting her wedding before my baby, having a workplace harassment suit open, a sexual harassment suit open at my workplace, having so much stress from work in general, I am having HUGE issues quitting smoking. It's not a matter of just giving it up, for some people we WANT to quit, but factors in our life cause so much stress that you relapse (as my doctor puts it) when enough stress is put on a person to drive them to have another cigarette. My doctor is aware that I smoke, my health nurse is aware that I smoke, and we are all working together to find something that will help me quit smoking. Like other ladies have said on here, you can't really jump to conclusions about that pregnant lady when you don't know what she's going through. I myself am disgusted with my smoking, I tell my little brother everyday that if he were to start smoking I'd whoop his ass because it's the worst thing to start doing, but I can't seem to shake it. To those ladies who previously commented about managing to quit smoking (whether before, during or after) your pregnancy, I have to say that I am proud of you and admire you.

Heather - posted on 09/14/2010

@Lauren Watson: If you're that addicted to ciggarettes...get help. Get couseling, chew gum, do whatever you have to do, but don't expect people to be understanding because you "can't quit". Heroin addicts can quit and that's much harder than nicotine. I understand everyone's different and we all need to be supportive of each other and I'm all for that. PLEASE ask for help if you need it. There are too many women out there who would be more than willing to help you and get you the resources you need to quit in an environment that's as stress free as possible. This isn't about living up to "society's standard" it's about putting your child first and doing what's best for them.
If I saw someone abusing there child I would say something and frankly, smoking while pregnant is the same thing as child abuse to many people. If you feel ashamed, that's on you. If the op offends you, don't read it. Maybe you should leave Tammy alone. just my opinion.

Kayle - posted on 09/14/2010

@Jodi A.



I'm sorry if I sounded resentful.



I would never wish for what my son is going through on any child. But you have got to look through my eyes too. I did nothing that could harm my son ever. And you got to see where I'm coming from when I see people who know very well what the risks are but still continue to smoke, drink, do drugs etc. I'm sorry that this is how I feel but you really don't know how heartbreaking it is having a son that is blind that already at age 8 has diabetes seizures and may at some point have a learning disability when I did everything I could to make sure my baby would be healthy.



I'm sorry that I offended you.





Sorry 8 months old not 8 years

Jodi - posted on 09/14/2010

"It drives me even more insane that I know people that have smoked during there pregnancy and there child ends up perfect. While I didn't smoke, drink, do drugs or so much as drink caffinated pop while I was pregnant and my son is partially blind and has problems with growth and blood sugar. That's what upsets me the most."

Wow Kayle, that's pretty resentful of you. I almost read this as you WISH their babies were born less than perfect. That's a pretty harsh thing to wish on any mother or any baby. I am sorry that your baby was born less than perfect, but I think it is pretty mean hearted to wish that on other people, no matter the reason.

Lauren - posted on 09/14/2010

Wow. Have you ever smoked yourself? Do you what the word Addiction means? Have you ever had one? I'm guessing not, or not a bad one at least.

When I was Pregnant with my son, I tried to stop but it's bloody hard! I managed to cut down from 40 a day to just 10, and eventually 5.

It's people like you who make mothers like me feel ashamed, we do know the risks, we try but sometimes it isn't possible to live up to societies standards.

Maybe you should leave women alone

Kayle - posted on 09/14/2010

I agree I agree I agree....I find smoking completely unatractive no matter if your pregnant or not. But it drives me completly insane to see soon to be moms smoking!! UGH!



It drives me even more insane that I know people that have smoked during there pregnancy and there child ends up perfect. While I didn't smoke, drink, do drugs or so much as drink caffinated pop while I was pregnant and my son is partially blind and has problems with growth and blood sugar. That's what upsets me the most.

Ashley=) - posted on 09/14/2010

Your entitled to your strong opinions Tammy..i can just see why others took to it so personally..me i didnt but could see from the reaction of the other ladies why the felt that way from the way you worded it...i know where your coming from.I would not want any one to experience what i did on my last baby and when i see moms who dont care and its like oh well my other one, two are grand and the continue to smoke the same or more while the become stressed in there own lives during the pregnancy i worry for them if anything else and there baby.It does make me sick..sick with worry when there my friends.I think you need to just let them be, worry for your health and your baby.Relax and knew you have control over what you do,your actions not the actions of others.I wish you the very best of luck.I dont think your horrible or mean.Your only human with feelings and sometimes when were passionate about something we dont think at the time about what were saying, writing for it to come across well.

?? - posted on 09/14/2010

You shouldn't get stressed out over things you can't control, especially if you're pregnant. If you read down to my post about the side effects of quitting while pregnant, that stress can harm your child just as much as a cigarette can.

It's frustrating sure, but you shouldn't allow those things to take over you so much - especially while carrying a child. You care about the overall health of your baby - well then you should continue that through, past the smoking irritation and just remember that getting stressed out isn't healthy for your baby either.

I wish you luck with your pregnancy :)

Tammy - posted on 09/14/2010

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and very hormonal and I saw a teenage mum smoking in the street an hr before i logged on so I was already fired up and cranky thats probably why i sounded so judgemental and shitty in my original post. Ive never gone up to any of these mums in the street and said anything im not a nasty person, alot of my opinions remain solely between me and my close friends or family I feel the comments left by people have made me look like a bad person I honestly am not just am very passionate about the subject

?? - posted on 09/14/2010

Here, I'll make it clear this time. I agree with you Tammy. With nearly every single thing that you said in your last post. And I will say that pretty much every single person that has posted in this thread has said nearly the same thing as you just did.

The only difference is, everyone else said it without the judgmental and over the top crankiness your initial posts were consumed with :p

Tammy - posted on 09/14/2010

maybe I am judgemental when it comes to pregnant smokers and your probably right when you all gang up on me and get personal about my spellings etc. Maybe I should have worded it more constructively but I can't help my opinions and feelings on the subject. I dont know what smoking addiction is being that i've never smoked myself but I watched my mum attempt to quit many times and I have seen how hard it is. she ruined our familys christmas coz she spent the whole day snapping and stressing at us. I could say if its that addictive dont start in the 1st place but i'll probably kick off another huge rant aimed at me. I will say what I said before gain though, I do have respect for women that try to quit when pregnant and take my hat off to any1 that cares for their baby and gives quitting a fair old go. maybe I should have put that on my original comment. my problm like I said is with the mums that dont give two hoots and still carry on regardless smoking their 20 or 30 a day. I knew a girl who lived beneath me in our flats and she smoked carelessly with both her pregnancies, everytime I saw her she had a cig in her mouth. and I have family members who carried on smoking 20/30 a day regardless so not all mums try to quit, these are the mums I'm talking about. I'm just feeling it for the innocent babies thats all I am very passionate about the subject, I have witnessed close family members die from lung cancer so thats why im so strongely opinionated about smoking. Life is precious we should respect our lives and that of our children thats all I am truly saying

Jessica - posted on 09/14/2010

Well, I smoked before both pregnancies but I've never been a heavy smoker- like between 2-5 cigarettes a day. So it wasn't too hard for me to quit, but wow do I still get cravings sometimes. And the sad thing is, is I can't wait to have a cigarette again once I've had the baby and cut down on bf-ing enough that I can space it away from that. So, I know how addictive it can be.

It does irk me when I see pregnant women smoking, but its true that unless you know that particular woman and her situation, you can't really judge. I know some women try sooooo hard to quit and can only manage to cut down. These women seem to at least understand the risks and are making a hard effort.

What really pisses me off, is the amount of women I've heard of that *actually* don't think there is anything wrong with smoking in pregnancy. They rationalize it with, "Oh, well so and so smoked during all her pregnancies and her kids are all healthy!" Of course you are going to find exceptions like that- but that is ignoring the bigger picture! I have also heard of people saying that all those warnings are really just lies, and other things along those lines. THOSE women piss me off- they totally ignore the risks and well being of their children and make no effort to change.