Pro-Lifers

Kimberly - posted on 10/04/2010 ( 201 moms have responded )

705

59

31

Are you only personally pro-life or is your mission to put an end to abortions all together? And if you successfully talk a woman into going through with an unwanted pregnancy and keeping the child, what is provided for that child by YOU? Are you now responsible for this child from birth through college? And how do you protect the child from falling through the cracks and becoming a victim of child abuse or homelessness? I watched a documentary, "12th & Delaware" where the Pro-Lifers were offering a McDonald's meal, stuffed animals, clothes for the baby and a fist full of dollars. But what happens after the child is born? I wonder who supports this child then? Please educate me. I can't help but notice how many unwanted children we have in our country. Every time I turn on the news there is a story of child abuse. Our prisons are over crowded. People do adopt- but from other countries. I think sometimes it would have been more humane to let the mother terminate instead of bringing the child into a life of misery.

This post is not to debate the issue of abortion itself. I just want to know how you are doing your part.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Becky - posted on 10/07/2010

2,892

44

92

See, here's the thing. I have worked with children who had severe Fetal Alcohol spectrum disorder because their moms did not care about them or want them badly enough to stop binge drinking for 9 months. I placed a little boy for adoption whose mother had used so much cocaine during her pregnancy that his insides were literally burned out. His foster mother thought he was going to die as an infant because he couldn't eat. He was in pain, all the time. He was only 10 lbs. at 6 months old. (He actually ended up doing very well once he was placed in his adoptive home, but last I saw him, he still had some digestive issues.) I've investigated cases of physical abuse and shaken baby syndrome. (fortunately never one where the baby died, but I've read investigations where they did, and it's the most heartbreaking thing you'll ever read!) Would I ever say those babies would have been better off to never be born? No, because I do believe that all life is precious. But, I'd be lying if I said I never questioned it. To see a child go through so much suffering and pain because they weren't really wanted or loved is the most heartbreaking thing you can witness. So that is why I say, although I think abortion is abhorrant, and it is not a choice I would ever make for myself, if we don't want abortion to be an option, then we need to be doing more, far, far more, to ensure that children are not suffering after they are born. Just paying your taxes to fund social programs is not enough. Writing letters to your congressman or campaigning is not enough. Giving money to charities is not enough.

And picketing at abortion clinics is absolutely pointless. I highly doubt that the number of babies whose lives are saved is worth the time and effort, and really, what are you saving these lives for, to be born into poverty and abuse? To know all their lives that they are unwanted and to grow up with attachment disorder, to become criminals and psychopaths?

I know, it almost sounds like I"m pro-choice! I'm not. I just think that we have bigger issues to tackle than whether or not abortion is legal right now, before we can tackle that issue. I'm pro-compassion, how's that? :)

Isobel - posted on 10/08/2010

9,849

0

282

There is no god...a fetus has no awareness of it's existence, therefore removing it from a uterus causes it no upset (since it is not conscious).

I, however, am alive. I am conscious of my existence, I feel pain and I have rights because I am sentient. My body belongs to me, it is the only thing that I am guaranteed to own from the cradle to the grave...and I will not give ownership of it to ANYBODY...not the government, not my husband, and certainly not an insentient fetus.

Rosie - posted on 10/07/2010

8,657

30

315

cindy did you know that when abortion was illegal that there were approximately the SAME number of abortions performed? thousands of those caused permanent damage to the mother- or death. so in actuality, MORE lives were lost. making abortion illegal does nothing but cause more harm. education is the only way to get the number of unwanted pregnancies down-cause abortion is going to happen whether you like it or not. http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/...

Amie - posted on 10/04/2010

6,596

20

408

I just wanted to add on here my own question.



Do you pro-lifers ever think of the negative impact you have on others? Especially loved ones.



I ask because when I was a teenager I had an abortion. My parents were extremely supportive and did not offer up any advice other than, it is your decision and your life. When I made that decision it was then my dad who drove me the three hours to the nearest hospital that would perform abortions. He was there as they talked to me one last time to make sure this was what I wanted, he was there when they wheeled me away and there when I woke up.



On the other side of that story is another girl I went to school with. Her family was very pro-life. It was a small town so naturally her parents knew mine. Our moms even worked together. The difference being when she had her abortion done, no one knew. She booked the appointments, made the decision and got it done all without telling anyone until after wards. She did not tell them because she knew their stance and knew they would try to talk her out of it. She went through a horrific ordeal, an agonizing decision all on her own because she couldn't trust her own family to be there for her and support her, no matter what.



Her mother cried after wards and confided in my mother. She was heart broken her daughter couldn't come to her all because of her stance. She has since changed her mind but little things like that, people don't often consider. It can cause rifts in a family, without even realizing it at the time.



Edit to add:



I should point out also, that although they were a fairly open family. This decision their daughter could not come to them with. They always told them, just as mine did, that they would always be there with no judgment but the simple fact that they were pro-life, was enough to sway their daughter to do it on her own. No one should have to go through that alone.



Yes it's not ideal. No I don't recommend abortions. For those who choose them, I will stand behind them and give them all the support they need.

Krista - posted on 10/09/2010

12,562

16

842

hate it when people start going on about God and how can he let this happen and all that. God gave people free will. People have made things like little babies in Africa die by indirectly disadvantaging their situation.

I don't agree with that argument. So when my friend's 3 year old died of cancer, that was due to free will, somehow? That was your god sitting back and saying, "Well, you made your bed, now lie in it?" I guess I just don't buy the idea that there is this omnipotent deity, who is supposed to be oh-so-good and wonderful, and will answer peoples' prayers about their fucking sciatica, but will ignore their prayers about their dying toddler. And then everybody makes excuses and says, "Oh, it's because of free will. Oh, well, God has a bigger plan and we're not meant to understand it."

I swear, the way a lot of religious people talk about their god is the way I hear battered wives talking about their asshole husbands -- lots of praise for the good times, and nothing but excuses and self-blame for the bruises and broken bones.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

201 Comments

View replies by

Mandy - posted on 10/15/2010

233

16

8

I don't see why it is anyone else's business what a woman chooses to do.

Pam - posted on 10/13/2010

46

16

1

Eronne, I do agree with you to a certain point. I don't think a woman should be forced to do something with their bodies that they do not want. I've had friends who have had abortions and I was there for them as a friend, yet in my opinion I don't think it's right. Unfortunately that is the way life is now... not all partners are willing to be there for there for the baby but that's the way things have become. It's really no surprise. I think that for the most part there is always another way. I feel very sad for girls who are teens who get pregnant, however I think that there's more than enough info out there for the guys as well as the girls to know what can happen if you have sex JUST ONCE. My baby was a "surprise" and I'm not married. But I still took it upon myself to give my daughter an amazing life full of love and happiness. I also know that if I wasn't able to provide her with that at this point in my life I would want to make sure that I would be able to give her to someone who would be able to. I do agree though that it is each woman's individual choice on what to do with her body, but i honestly don't think it's fair that the baby inside of her never even got a fighting chance let alone a choice especially when there is a ridiculous amount of people wanting kids that can't have. I just know what a friend of mine went through in order to get her son that she adopted and it was a nightmare.

Eronne - posted on 10/13/2010

125

11

10

and wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if every woman that had sex was prepared, informed and had a partner willing to accept his part in the consequences but that is not how it is. What is your position on rape? In 2004-2005, 64,080 women were raped in the US. According to medical reports, the incidence of pregnancy for one-time unprotected sexual intercourse is 5%. By applying the pregnancy rate to 64,080 women it can be extrapolated that there were 3,204 pregnancies as a result of rape during that period.

How about children having children? There are over 750,000 teen pregnancies each year. Eight in ten of these pregnancies are unintended and 81 percent are to unmarried. Do you want to increase the number of unwanted children being raised by unprepared mothers or would you legislated forced adoption?

Of course all this misses the point. In most circumstances abortion is the worst possible choice but this isn't Salem and women should NEVER be forced to do something with their bodies they do not want to do.

Pam - posted on 10/13/2010

46

16

1

I believe that even if you don't want the baby for yourself there is an overwhelming amount of people who would do ANYTHING just to have a baby. The problem is, people in Canada, the States, or wherever DO want to adopt from their country or city, however some of the adoption policies make it nearly impossible to ever make that happen. It can take YEARS before you are even considered to have that baby. I think that's also a big reason why people travel abroad to get a baby. In my opinion I think that if you're going to have sex and get pregnant then you need to have a plan to either keep that child and love it and take care of it and if you can't do that at that time in your life, then give it to a family who would be forever grateful to take that baby and give it everything it needs and more. I just find it crazy that in almost every other aspect of life, you do something and you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. (eg. you commit a crime, you go to jail. You're constantly late for work, you lose your job. You don't take care of your health,you can have a heart attack/obesity/etc.) yet for some reason you have sex then the consequence happens and it became ok to kill that life inside and just escape the consequence of your action.

Eronne - posted on 10/13/2010

125

11

10

There is a third opinion group that everyone ignores...I am pro-choice but anti-abortion. What a woman does with her body MUST be her decision. All moms know that carrying and then raising a child is a life-time commitment. It is not just to force a woman into that commitment. The argument about the fetus' right to life is a little hard to swallow. Will we legislate that a woman cannot drink, smoke, take medications, get stressed, argue with their mates, all of these things hurt the fetus' - should we charge these women with abuse and jail them? The government does not belong in our bedrooms and most certainly should mind their business when it comes to our bodies.

[deleted account]

I've had an abortion and to be honest I was indifferent at first but after actually experiencing not only the physical but emotional pain of an abortion i've decided its not something i'd wanted to do again

Jaime - posted on 10/11/2010

4,427

24

196

For some people abortion is the lesser of two evils...regardless of what a person's individual morality dictates.

Heather - posted on 10/11/2010

62

37

4

and he told me when me and him talked about it before that he would support me in any decision i made so i would be able to keep my loving husband.

Heather - posted on 10/11/2010

62

37

4

my husband and i have had this debate before he knows i am 100%agains abortion and he knows that if i couldnt deal with having a baby with some one who raped me i would go on with the pregnancy and give that baby up for adoption. and if he couldnt deal with that then i would still keep the baby because i would explain to that child when he or she was older what happend but that no matter what he or she is still a part of me and i would raise it! i no other people dont feel the same way i do but that is my opinion and its how i feel. and i would still raise my son knowing what happend when he was old enough to understand.

Stifler's - posted on 10/09/2010

15,141

154

597

I still don't think it's God's fault when people die. You can't believe in God in good times and when you want to use religious arguments against people over abortion and then blame him when things go wrong.

[deleted account]

Personally I would never have an abortion myself so I am pro-life for myself and really only agree with it being used in certain circumstances rather than a quick fix for people who simply couldn't be bothered to use contraception. If contraception failed that's a whole different story. I've never had to talk to someone who is considering an abortion and tbh I hope I never have to because I wouldn't know what to say!

Rosie - posted on 10/09/2010

8,657

30

315

but loureen, they are evil, evil sluts who spread their legs WAY to often. why should we care about THOSE types of people???those types of people are OBVIOUSLY the only ones having abortions :P

Charlie - posted on 10/09/2010

11,203

111

401

Hannah although i disagree i think your rebuttle was the most respectful i have seen from the pro life side .
Thank you .

I want to address the mental health aspect , i agree that abortion can and does affect people in that manner ( depression ) but i also want to point out it can have the very same effect on women forced to go through with pregnancies of children they do not wish to bare ( rape , incest victems ) there have been some truely horrid stories of women forced to go through with pregnancies by families or religious groups for fear of being outed and it has ended in suicide , is the mothers mental health of no conearn once she is pregnant and wishes not to be ?

Hannah - posted on 10/09/2010

175

42

7

Ok, so hear goes..... :) Please dont hate on me! ;)

I saw a video on youtube about a women who years ago, had an abortion done from morgentaler(sp)himself. She went in for the abortion and she kept saying that she didnt want to kill her baby....And you know what he said? He said its not a baby.... It is situations like this where councelling needs to be non biased...

So I guess you could say that there is a flipside to your question Kim? Should we be responsible for talking someone into having an abortion? By this I mean that there are a TON of consequiences from an abortion. For example did you know that you can get breast cancer? I am not saying that everyone will but just that there is an increased risk. It has something to do with the estrogen....And as Im sure some of you are aware, a lot of women become depressed and suicidal....
For more information and stats in Canada check out this website www.abortionincanada.ca this will give you lots of imformation about abortion including the long term and short term affects. Please note that I understand that this is a not a typical synario(sp)but just something to talk about? Mental health is such an important issue, especially when dealing with life changing/altering changes/issues such as abortion....

This is a really touchy subject, and its hard to convince someone who doesnt have the same beliefs as you. For example, Im a christian and Jesus Christ is my saviour, so trying to convince someone of my opinion is really hard and not too effective. All I can is pray about it and leave the rest up to God.

And God will forgive you if you do have an abortion. He is not hateful despie what people may think. He loves you no matter what, like you love your children, thats how he loves you. He gave us free will, we can make our own decisions but there are consequences in the end, but ultimatly, He still loves us and welcomes ANYONE with open arms!

Ok, there are SOME of my thoughts.... ;)

Stifler's - posted on 10/09/2010

15,141

154

597

LOL! I hate it when people start going on about God and how can he let this happen and all that. God gave people free will. People have made things like little babies in Africa die by indirectly disadvantaging their situation. A lot like making abortions illegal would do for people who don't want kids. God doesn't condone abortion but he gave us free will to do the right thing, and picketing at abortion clinic and judging people for having abortions is not what Jesus would do.

Amie - posted on 10/08/2010

6,596

20

408

****MOD WARNING****

Stay on topic ladies and remember No THUMPS. We can ignore swearing, so long as it is not AT a person.

Amie ~ DM mod

Charlie - posted on 10/08/2010

11,203

111

401

Even worse if the rapist is a family member , that is the point here abortion is not a black and white issue it has all areas of grey that people could not possibly know what they would do unless faced with the issue .

Jaime - posted on 10/08/2010

4,427

24

196

I am pro-choice and I do my part by supporting women in their decision to either carry out or terminate their pregnancy no matter the reason. If I decide to have more children in the future and consider the adoption route, I will most definitely adopt children from Canada because I believe that we have a responsibility to support the foster children in our own country before adopting elsewhere.

In my current financial situation I am not in a position to support anymore children so if I were to fall pregnant I would most definitely abort. That being said, I am also going to do everything necessary to be sure an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy doesn't happen...including considering a tubal ligation. I am glad that in Canada women have these options...to either have their tubes tied, acquire contraceptives or seek an abortion if they do not wish to carry out a pregnancy.

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Heather, think about this...you're married, with a beautiful child. Tonight a man rapes you and you conceive during this brutal act. Can you honestly say that your husband would support you in this pregnancy? If he didn't...do you pack up and leave to stand by your convictions? You would choose a rapist's seed over your loving husband and child?

Hannah - posted on 10/08/2010

175

42

7

I have soooooo much to say on this and yet am at a loss for words....WHERE TO BEGIN??

Charlie - posted on 10/08/2010

11,203

111

401

I just thought that was the logical answer to her question "how can you call it a fetus or whatever when it is a baby!" ;P

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Now Heather, that is good of you to contribute. And you have a big heart, a mother's heart. But, if you can give God a break, can't you find it in that mother's heart to give your fellow sisters a break too? We are after all, made in his image and he gave us free will. We aren't perfect. Can you respect that?

Charlie - posted on 10/08/2010

11,203

111

401

I would say they call it a FETUS Heather because they passed highschool biology !

Heather - posted on 10/08/2010

62

37

4

its probably not enought to get him or her through college but its the point that im doing my part to help!

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Now now...take it down a notch with the name calling. If you don't understand why GOD does it...why do you expect a mere human to be PERFECT?

Heather - posted on 10/08/2010

62

37

4

ill answer your question i donate money to a place in va that helps mothers who dont have enough to raise a child! thank you!

Heather - posted on 10/08/2010

62

37

4

no i belive in god! thank you! and i will never understand why he lets that happen eaither! i just dont understand how any of you as mothers can be ok with another "mother" killing her child!
@ dana how about you stop being a bitch and get off your high horse! oh my i spelled a word wrong lets cry about it!

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Heather, darlin, I think you stumbled upon the wrong conversation. You keep posting your heart felt ramblings but have yet to answer the original question that I posted dear. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO SAVE THESE BABIES? Please answer before you come back with any more nonsense. Otherwise, please find a debate about ABORTION itself.

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Heather...why does God let babies die from abuse, hunger, disease....? Do you call him " fucking rediculous!" (sp?)

Heather - posted on 10/08/2010

62

37

4

you all as mothers are fucking rediculous! how can you call it a fetus or whatever when it is a baby! from the time you concive its a baby! no matter what u say! how in the hell can u compare killing a baby to a lion or a chicken or a death row inmate! the person on death row deserves to be there for whatever horrible crime he or she commited! the lion and chicken are animals they are wild animals we are humans who have a life and who have sex and get pregnant and who should raise our children! and as for me wanting someone to live a miserable life is bull shit! i think they should continue with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption! like cindys' daughter her birth mother had a heart realized she wanted her child to live and even though she could not raise her daughter she gave her to some one who could! and that is wonderful! its a horrible thing to do to abort your child and i think all states should get the law that i belive its oklahoma has where they have to show you a ultrasound before you decide to get an abortion and they have to show you the baby that you have created then maybe people would realize its not just a "FETUS" its a living human being that you and whoever created!

Kimberly - posted on 10/08/2010

705

59

31

Chew on this: If you believe in a God...and your actions on Earth are to ultimately get you into Heaven and you feel so compelled to condemn the women that abort...don't you feel relief that the fetus has skipped ahead and not collected $200 and made it there to the ultimate and supreme adoptive parent...God himself?

That baby is loved to the umpth degree. Relax and breathe.

Sharon - posted on 10/08/2010

11,585

12

1314

I disagree with Cindy - "any" kind of "existence" is not worth it.

See suicide - to prove my point.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms