Jen - posted on 04/08/2012 ( 101 moms have responded )
A spin off from the HPV vaccine risk thread. The following comment was made:
Stay pure for the man of your dreams... you will be glad you did as the best gift you can give him is a pure self! ♥
This got me on a rant which I'll continue here.
What exactly do they mean by purity? Why is it only women that it's addressed to? I think about these purity movements with mild distaste. Not so much that they want girls to wait to have sex which isn't necessarily a bad thing as most young girls aren't ready to face motherhood (exceptions are out there of course). Many young people also aren't prepared to be 100% cautious in their use of birth control and condom use.
However it's the tone that gets me and the fact that despite what they say, this purity is invariably directed at the females. Think of the Purity balls where girls are exhorted to pledge their purity, aka viginity to their fathers till marriage. You cannot point to any time period where men were taught to remain virginal till marriage with equal vigor. It just doesn't happen. It doesn't even happen now. I haven't seen a Purity ball where a boy pledges his virginity to his mother till marriage. Only girls seem to be the focus and why?
I sayt it's because certain groups are desperately trying to get back to the days when you married one kind while dated the other. That girls who 'did it' were fallen, hopeless sluts that were the object of gossipy people on a Sunday morning. To the days of the Magdalene laundries and the homes for unwed mothers where their children were regularly removed from them at birth. Some of the girls were glad to get rid of them to avoid that "Impure" label while others were left with holes in their heart for the loss of their child.
But back in the halcyon days of the 50s (snort), it wasn't called purity. It was just done. Mind you this was a far cry better than the honor killings portrayed in the bible (Jesus saving the woman from being stoned is another post for another time but Conservapedia says that story never happened anyway - LOL).
It's the whole SHAME factor though that I find utterly disgusting. Yes, we want to bring back SEXUAL SHAME! Make a person feel shameful for a very normal, very human desire and you can twist that person all over the place. I dont' want to hear how sublime sex is when you've never been with anyone else. That's utterly beside the point and also a very new concept. Let's face it, womens' enjoyment of sex has always carried the shame factor until very recently.
So purity movements IMO have zilch to do with actually remaining virgins. It has everything to do with bringing shame back to sex and I for one find that utterly and ironically shameful.