Amy - posted on 03/22/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
First off, self-respect and self-esteem are not the same things. Don't get those confused.
Is self-esteem over-rated? Self-esteem and self-respect often get confused with each other. You can respect yourself without thinking you are top dog and deserve it all. Self-esteem often gets into that area where you think you are entitled to everything, become arrogant, prideful, and think the rules don't apply to you. Since the...what, 60s?... people stress about making sure your children have good self-esteem. But, did we mix it up? Shouldn't it be self-respect instead?
Instead of thinking of "me, me, me" shouldn't they be thinking of their actions and how it affects all the people around them? Good manners, even affect those around them. It's certainly not self-serving to be polite. It's self-serving to steal.
"Common sense says that the higher one's self-esteem, the lower one's regard for the rights of others, including in extreme instances, others' very right to life." On the other hand there are those who respect themselves, but are humble and don't put themselves on a pedestal. "Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Jesus....people who had little regard for self-interest but put others first - even when others tried to put THEM on pedestals, they refused to get on a high horse about it and remained humble."
Interesting concept to think about. Was reading today- the quotes are from "parenting by the book" by john rosemond.