Charlie - posted on 09/25/2010 ( 109 moms have responded )
We all know sex ed is important but it tends to focus on safety and dangers of sex but should we as parents also focus on teaching our kids to enjoy sex ?
A tempest in the daytime television teapot broke out when Barbara Walters, co-host of "The View," labeled a vibrator a "necessity." Commenting on this clip on the early-morning MSNBC news show, Morning Joe, Mika Brezinski recoiled in disgust, saying this isn't something to be talked about.
Brezinski is - like the First Lady - mother of two young daughters. Aside from registering her visceral disapproval, she said nothing about appropriate sex education for women. The following morning, when the topic arose again, the men on the show jibed, leeringly, "We're feminists. We think it's okay to discuss vibrators." An academic economics expert pointedly declined to address the topic - as though no civilized human being would do so.
So, as an observer from another planet, I conclude - women's sexuality is a topic that no one is allowed to discuss seriously. And yet, sexuality is one of the central issues of - for a start - growing up, life satisfaction, marital success.
Of course, these same commentators and others throughout the media endlessly discuss sexual abuse of girls, cheating celebrity spouses, unintended pregnancies (e.g., Bristol Palin), sexual misbehavior by young women (e.g., Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, etc.). Focusing only on sexual misconduct, abuse, and problems is like training kids to drive solely by showing them car crashes.
So, here are my five questions for Mika Brezinski, as a mother of young girls who fills a highly visible media position.
1. Should girls be taught about sex?
2. What should they be taught?
3. Specifically, is the best policy only to warn them against the dangers of sex?
4. Should girls be taught about sexual pleasure? If so, how?
5. Is it acceptable, or right, for mothers to explain masturbation to daughters as they mature?
how do you answer these questions ?
Interestingly enough, there is a relationship between sex and violence...an inverse proportion. In cultures with more sex, there is less violence. But how are mothers to teach daughters when both are frustrated, fixated and almost wholly ignorant.
Psychology today writes "The majority of Americans don't like dirty sex ,Although they talk dirty, they don't really lose their heads. It's good friendly sex, between two people who care for each other and who will end up in a tepid, suburban relationship. Nothing wrong with that.
French women are actually taking sex one step farther in film - they are saying, "Love is great for passionate sex, but even without love, I want to get laid."
One comment left by a male :
I am married to a North American born and raised women of British ancestry (Debbi). I did have a three year relationship with a French born and raised woman (Julie) prior to marriage.
There is no comparing the sexual experiences. With Julie sex was a remarkable emotional and physical experience. It was the most natural sex has ever felt for me and created a very strong bond between us. With my wife it is lacking in emotional and intense physical pleasure.
Julie's mother and aunt both discussed with how to enjoy sex and make it enjoyable for one's partner. These were regular, ongoing conversations. Julie told me it was normal in France for the women of the family to have these discussions with maturing girls.
By comparison my spouse,Debbi had almost no discussion with her mother about sex. Her parents slept in different rooms from day 1 of their marriage. Sex was something the husband received if all else was ideal in the marriage, so it seems.
Just my experience but the discussions Julie seems to have made a world of difference in attitude and ability. She was very sexually oriented compared to any other woman I have had a relationship with. She was comfortable and open, both emotionally and sexually.
The talking matters a great deal.