Sleep!!!

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

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Why do some people want to make out that you're a 'lazy' mum just because you miss being able to have a full nights sleep???
I've seen a few posts saying that mums shouldn't be in such a hurry for their babies to sleep through, and that mum's who moan about it or try methods to aid a good nights sleep are just 'lazy'
Personally, i LOVE my sleep, i struggled with sleep deprivation with my first (luckily my 2nd was an angel in the sleep department!) but i don't think wishing for a good nights sleep made me 'lazy'!
I think sleep is super important for mums AND babies!
What are you're thoughts??
Are mums who want sleep 'lazy'??
What age do you think babies should be sleeping through at??
How long do you consider 'sleeping through' to mean??
:)

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Christa - posted on 06/29/2009

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I honestly don't know how some women do it. I have always LOVED my sleep, I still miss it dearly. In fact as soon as my daughter will sleep over at nana's she's going to just so I can sleep in til noon again, LOL Anyway I too put her on a schedule from almost the moment we got home from the hospital. The first two weeks were sort of a free for all, but after that she was on a strict, but still flexible eat, play, sleep pattern. She slept through the night (10-6) at 9 weeks and has just increased that ever since. 9 weeks was long enough for me, I don't know how some of you do it for 6, 9 12 months, my hats off to you, I don't think I would make it. Baby number 2 will be here in Feb so we'll see how that one goes. Fingers crossed! :-)



Another side note, my brother slept through the night (6 hrs) on night one, but he was a 10 lbs baby, I guess he could hold more food. lol :-)

Mary - posted on 06/29/2009

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I just sort of accepted that the beginnig would be rough...as a breastfeeder, I think those 1st 6 weeks were HARD. The girl only went 2-3 hrs between feed for the most part, SOMEtimes 4. I remember thinking that I would have sold my soul for just 4 continuous hours. And then, gradually, it got better. By 8 weeks she would consitently give me at least one 4.5-5 hr stretch, usually from around 8p-12 or 1. I thought it was heaven !! at 12 weeks, she typically only woke up at 2 or 3, and then slept until 6 or 7. February 6, 2009 was the 1st time she slept through the night (should be a national holiday, LOL). Sadly, it took my boobs a few nights to catch on!!



Maybe I'm naiive, but that was what I EXPECTED from life with an infant. I considered myself lucky that she slept through the night when she did. Don't get me wrong, there are still those odd nights when she gets up at 3am. No, I'm not thrilled about it, but it is what it is...all part of being a mommy. However, I may be a bit tired the next day, and may whine to my mother or friends about it...not perfect! But, I figure she genuinely has a need, so I will always lovingly (if not energetically) meet that need, regardless of the time.



Funnily enough, it's her lack of napping that kills me now. Molly tpically goes down around 8, and wakes up by 5 or 5:30 am. Mad catnapper that she is, the most She sleeps the rest of the day is 3 or 3 20-30 minute naps. I have tried tons of things to help her sleep a little longer , truth is, she just doesn't need it.. She is almost always a happy, pleasant baby. This is only a problem b/c on many days, I get up with her at 5am, tkae care of her all day, no nap for mommy, & I go into work at 7pm, and do not get home until 8 am the next morning. Unless my mom is free to watch her that afternoon, I will go 26-27 hrs without sleep. My choice not to put her in daycare, I know..and I think it's worth it, but yeah, sometimes I get tired. AND...I just dare someone to call me lazy!!

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There is always confusion on the subject of sleeping. No baby will naturally sleep through the night at 2 weeks old, but they should be beginning to understand the difference between day and night, as long as you've kept night times dark and quiet from birth. They only have little tummies and can only hold so much so obviously you have to feed them and change the nappies. It will differ greatly from child to child when they will be able to go through the night. I consider through the night as being 8 or more hours and I would think it normal for 90% of children to manage that by a year old.

Sleep is needed for many reasons. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. Without sleep the body and mind are unable to function efficiently. When sleep deprivation is used as a form of punishment it causes disorientation, confusion, delirium and desperation. Victims report such a longing for sleep that they would do anything just to be allowed to have some uninterrupted sleep. Mothers are no different. To call someone "lazy" for wanting sleep is CRAZY! It's more important to the body than food and water. I can understand that when pushed to the limits some mothers make extreme mistakes because they don't know what they're doing.

I'm LUCKY to have two good sleepers. Lucas at 5 1/2 months is going 10-12 hours, at night, 50% of the time now. In my eyes thats good considering he has no solids to fill him up yet.

Wanting sleep only becomes lazy when your not meeting a childs physical needs (those needs are age appropriate). I don't think a baby wanting to play at 2am is a need, and I think any parent who panders to that are setting themselves up for misery later on.

Sara - posted on 06/22/2009

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I don't feel attacked at all. I try to keep in mind when I see the people out at 10 or 11 at Wal-Mart that I do not know their whole story, I'm not saying my judgements are fair or accurate, I"m just admitting to them! :) Every family is different.



My sister-in-law has more of a "free-range" child raising attitude, and her kids rule her life. They have a lot of behavior issues and I think it's because she doesn't have boundaries with them. Her 6 year old just goes to bed when she pleases, and I don't agree with that. I guess that's part of where my judgements come from, watching them. Thank you for sharing with me and offering a different perspective.

?? - posted on 06/22/2009

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I've been told I'm very lucky cause I have a "good sleeper". Gabriel sleeps 6 hrs at a time at minimum during the night, and he started doing that very early as well. I do think sleep is important for both mom and baby. And I think that daddy needs to be helpful if it gets to the point where mommy is not getting enough sleep.



I didn't sleep train either. He did it all on his own. I don't jump everytime he makes a noise, I don't leave him to cry either - I think there's only once he's actually cried cause he needed us.



Sara, I'm glad you feel you can be honest, I feel the same way! And I hope this doesn't come off in the wrong way or make you feel like you shouldn't be honest - I just want to put a lil perspective on what you are judging, through my own situation, if I may.



I agree with you that bedtime is important and a schedule/routine is also important but I've had my son out at the store at 10-11pm before. He has 2 different schedules that he decides which one he wants to do, depending on our activity during the day.



There's been MANY times when we've been at Walmart @ 10pm because we are on the way home from some family get together, or my partner had to work late (I don't drive), or Gabriel was wide awake and happy when we left the house and his mood changed as we were shopping. He has been cranky a couple times cause he was just passed around between umpteen dozen relatives that he had forgotten existed or it's cutting close to bottle time but we need to pick things up because the next 3 days (even up to a week) we aren't going to have the time to do it.



I'll add, my partner works for a company that does restoration construction for insurance claims, so his work hours vary depending on what they're doing, where they're doing it and how many men are there. He's also on call 24/7. So... when we need stuff, we have to get it, otherwise we end up having to go at 10pm when he gets home and maybe Gabriel will start getting cranky.



My son has 2 schedules depending on different things, he either goes to bed between 9pm & 10pm or between 11pm & 12am. We do have daytime routines and a bedtime routine, it just goes between those two times. 6am he's up, noon he has lunch, 5pm he has dinner and depending on whether we went for a walk, we went to the park to play, we had to go to a relatives for dinner, or we just stayed home and played all day - and even then depending on what we did while playing, whether it was a relaxing day where we read books and just sat and played, if we were crawling around the house and jumpin in the jumperoo etc more or less... bedtime is always either 9-10pm or 11pm-12am.



And I would like to add, my son is easily the most well behaved child I have ever met, (and I'm not just saying that cause he's my son,) I am constantly getting comments from relatives and complete strangers that Gabriel is the most well behaved baby they have seen, everytime they see him. I just wanted to give you a lil jist of what you were saying you are judging and how completely inaccurate it is to assume all of that just from a late night tantrum.



I could understand if you see the same woman with the same baby and it's always cranky at 10pm - then yes, your judgement is probably more accurate. But it's not always the case. It certainly would be inaccurate if you were judging me in the store lol



I hope this didn't come off as I am attacking you or anything bad at all! I compeltely understand where you are coming from and why/how those assumptions could be made

Sara - posted on 06/22/2009

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I also want to add though that even though i did sleep training with my daugher, when she wakes up and cries in the night I go to her. We've come to a point where I know by her cry if she needs something or not or if it's something she's going to go back to sleep herself from. I hate that people imply that sleep training your child means you don't go to them in the night, of course you do! Do I jump up every time she cries? No. But, am I responsive to her needs? Yes!

Sara - posted on 06/22/2009

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I agree that sleep is very important. My daughter is 8 months and we have had her on a night time routine since she was a few weeks old. Granted, we didn't do the sleep training until she was almost 3 months old, and my doctor (who has 5 children himself) suggested it since I had to go back to work. My husband calls me a sleep nazi because I insist on giving her a bath, bottle and the putting her to bed every night no matter what. But, I don't want to be one of those moms that just lets their kids go to bed when they feel like it. We're going to have rules in my household and I think the earlier we can get her used to bedtime the better.



Sometimes I go to the store after my baby is in bed and her dad stays home with her. I can't stand it when i'm at the store at 10 pm and I see someone dragging their crying child through the store. I just think "That kid is acting up because it's past their bed time!". Honestly, I see insisting on a bedtime even at a young age is the first step in discipline/boundaries. I see those kids in the store throwing their late night tantrums and think that's probably just the tip of the iceburg. That kid probably has little boundaries in the home, and that's doing your child a disservice. Maybe a bit judgemental on my part, and I don't want to offend anyone, but what's nice about this group is I feel I can be honest! :)

Erin - posted on 06/21/2009

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Wanting sleep because you're tired and emotionally exhausted does not make someone a lazy mother, but I do also think there's an unrealistic expectation associated with getting babies to 'sleep through the night'. I was very lucky - my daughter was sleeping 6-8 hours stretches from the first night home. So she's always 'slept through'. She went through a stage of waking at 3-4am for a feed, but she'd been in bed since 7-8pm so that's still a good stretch. By the time she was 10 wks she was sleeping 6pm-6am, but I must admit I didn't do anything to MAKE this happen. I applied structure to her natural sleep/eat patterns through the day and she just fell into this bedtime. This all went out the window though in the last few weeks due to her being sick :(
I too LOVE my bed, but I think it's reasonable for a baby to wake to feed up til about 6 mths (I'm just lucky mine doesn't). Beyond that it's probably not nutritionally necessary so much as being a habit or comfort, but I'm not sure that makes this need any less valid. But there has to be a cut-off point - a friend of mine has a 20mo son who gets up twice a night for a bottle. That to me is pretty extreme and I think I would be looking into ways of cutting these feedings out. But I can't say I would refuse a feed to a baby (under 12mo) even if I thought they didn't really need it.
On the topic of sleep deprivation, I can absolutely see why it's used as a form of torture. My daughter's just been in hospital with bronchiolitis and I went 36 hrs with no sleep!!!! I'm sure I was delirious, and know I got very snappy and short-tempered with family members who were visiting us. So I understand sleep is important for Mum to be functioning at her best. But resenting an infant for waking out of hunger is a bit ridiculous to me. Their appetites fluctuate just like ours do. Only last night my daughter woke at midnight for a feed. Did I cringe when I heard her yell out?? Yep. It's winter here and raining and my bed was beautiful :) But did I haul my ass out of bed and feed her?? You betcha!

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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I thought them sharing would be a nightmare, but actually it's really good! well, most of the time! :)

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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My two girls share a room, so they usually keep each other occupied for a while so can get a bit more sleep in!! :)

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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I used to think 10am was a lie in......now i thank my lucky stars if i'm still in bed at 7:30am! haha! :)

Abby - posted on 06/21/2009

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Quoting Sarah:



Quoting Abby:

im all for getting ur child thru the night. surely u should be getting them in the routine of sleeping thru as soon as possible? i waited 14 VERY long weeks. i would not wish sleep deprivation on anyone. i found even tho i was going to sleep for a few hrs between feeds, i also found that when i was sleeping i was sleeping so lightly it wasnt actually helping.
what gets me is when people say how lazy mums are for leaving babies to cry for a bit, or are lazy cos they bottlefed etc, and then all of a sudden they're saying, i couldnt be bothered to walk down the hall so i kept baby in my room!!!
nothing is lazy when ur sleep deprived!!! it's the worst feeling ever.
i gained 6kg whilst pregnant, since i had him ive GAINED another 10, due to being so exhausted, i couldnt do exercise and i ate junk food to try and keep my awake!!!

think it's time i got a gym memebrship as he's been sleeping thru for 7months now!!!!! he he





LOL Abby!! (especially the gym bit!!)






I too think a good routine is important, i guess i just value sleep SO much, and now so do my kids. I have no trouble getting my eldest to go to bed, and some nights she will say 'i'm off to bed now mummy i'm too sleepy!'. My youngest will come over to me at about 9:30am and just look at me, and i'll say 'nap?' and off she walks to stairs saying 'nap, nap, teddy, teddy' (well sort of! lol!)






I just LOVE my sleep!! Doesn't make me lazy tho! lol! :)






the weird thing is when i was younger i NEVER needed my sleep(my poor mum got her first full night's sleep when i was 3) and then when i hit about 11 i started being more tired, but mum just thght i was being a teenager, then i caught glandular fever and they did a load of blood tests and found out i had livver issues too, which caused me to be tired(then mum felt bad)



and then once i had cam that was it, i needed sleep sooooooooooo much. you never get over the exhaustion from ur labour until they sleep thru(well i didnt) as having broken sleep is nearly as bad as not sleeping at all!!



but dave and i now take it in turns to get up in the morning with cam so we get a decent lay in every other day(bliss) he he xxx

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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Quoting Abby:

im all for getting ur child thru the night. surely u should be getting them in the routine of sleeping thru as soon as possible? i waited 14 VERY long weeks. i would not wish sleep deprivation on anyone. i found even tho i was going to sleep for a few hrs between feeds, i also found that when i was sleeping i was sleeping so lightly it wasnt actually helping.
what gets me is when people say how lazy mums are for leaving babies to cry for a bit, or are lazy cos they bottlefed etc, and then all of a sudden they're saying, i couldnt be bothered to walk down the hall so i kept baby in my room!!!
nothing is lazy when ur sleep deprived!!! it's the worst feeling ever.
i gained 6kg whilst pregnant, since i had him ive GAINED another 10, due to being so exhausted, i couldnt do exercise and i ate junk food to try and keep my awake!!!

think it's time i got a gym memebrship as he's been sleeping thru for 7months now!!!!! he he


LOL Abby!! (especially the gym bit!!)



I too think a good routine is important, i guess i just value sleep SO much, and now so do my kids. I have no trouble getting my eldest to go to bed, and some nights she will say 'i'm off to bed now mummy i'm too sleepy!'. My youngest will come over to me at about 9:30am and just look at me, and i'll say 'nap?' and off she walks to stairs saying 'nap, nap, teddy, teddy' (well sort of! lol!)



I just LOVE my sleep!! Doesn't make me lazy tho! lol! :)

Abby - posted on 06/21/2009

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im all for getting ur child thru the night. surely u should be getting them in the routine of sleeping thru as soon as possible? i waited 14 VERY long weeks. i would not wish sleep deprivation on anyone. i found even tho i was going to sleep for a few hrs between feeds, i also found that when i was sleeping i was sleeping so lightly it wasnt actually helping.

what gets me is when people say how lazy mums are for leaving babies to cry for a bit, or are lazy cos they bottlefed etc, and then all of a sudden they're saying, i couldnt be bothered to walk down the hall so i kept baby in my room!!!

nothing is lazy when ur sleep deprived!!! it's the worst feeling ever.

i gained 6kg whilst pregnant, since i had him ive GAINED another 10, due to being so exhausted, i couldnt do exercise and i ate junk food to try and keep my awake!!!



think it's time i got a gym memebrship as he's been sleeping thru for 7months now!!!!! he he

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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I hope i haven't come across wrong in my posts on this thread, starting to think i have a little bit, so apologies!
Every baby IS different and if your baby is still waking up past 6 months, i truly didn't mean to make that sound like a bad thing.
My issue is with people who kinda make others feel bad because they don't spring out of bed at 2am with a smile on their face ready to bond with their baby. Or mum's who have posted on here asking for advice to get their kids to sleep through, being met with accusations of laziness.
Anyway, i didn't mean to come across in the wrong way and apologise for doing so.
:)

Chantel - posted on 06/21/2009

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I don't think tiny babies should be expected to sleep through longer than 4 or 5 hours. But I don't really agree with the whole "at 6 months they don't need to eat overnight anymore". Every baby is different so maybe some babies DO need that. In my case I gave her a bottle overnight untill she gave it up on her own. I know I got lucky because some kids won't give it up on their own but she did. It never really bothered me because here in Canada I had a year for mat leave so I didn't have to worry about being exhausted for work. She used to wake up once a night for a bottle until she was 10 months old. Now she sleeps from 730 to 730 and naps for 3 hours in the afternoon.

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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Quoting Jenifer:



Quoting Sarah:

I agree with Cathelijn that you shouldn't expect a 2 week old baby to sleep through. It's just not possible at such a young age.
Some of the people who have posted are saying that their 10 month old (for example) still doesn't sleep through but it doesn't bother them because that's the way it should be.
Personally i DO NOT think that's the way it should be. I can't imagine how my little one who is a year old would cope if she woke through the night still, she'd be exhausted and grumpy.
I can remember being sooooo tired with my first! She didn't sleep through til over 6 months and i would be making her bottles and have to start again because i couldn't remember how many scoops of formula i'd put in. I would forget to boil the kettle, but still make a coffee then take a huge swig before i realised it was cold!!!
I was really struggling to function at that point.
I was really lucky with my 2nd, from the day she was born she would only wake once in the night for a feed. Then from 3 weeks she slept from about 9pm til 6am. Then she went through a stage of waking all night, but since then (touch wood!) she sleeps from 7-7 from about 6 months.
I think from about 6 months babies should learn how to sleep through as sleep is really important for development and things.
I just think it's a bit mean to call parents 'lazy' just because they want their babies and themselves to get a good nights sleep! :)





I wanted to respond to this since my 9 month old does still wake once a night to nurse, and it does not bother me. I think everyone has a different definition of "sleep through the night" - I've seen anywhere from 5 hours to 12 hours. I'd say my son sleeps through the night since he usually sleeps soundly from about 11pm to 6am, but others may disagree. At 9 months though, night waking is pretty common - more than half of 9 month old wake at least once at night.






There's also a big difference in sleep patterns between formula fed and breast fed babies, which makes these comparisons more difficult. When babies are breastfed, they typically sleep less overall, and often continue to have a night nursing session late into the first year. There are always exceptions of course, but on average, this is the case. My son has a 'dream feed' around 11pm. I guess I assume this is the norm, since our species managed this way for millennia. Any extra sleep is just a very welcome bonus, but certainly not necessary for babies to develop property. For me, as long as my son is meeting his milestones and doesn't act sleep deprived, I don't know what the big deal is. I see sleeping in 12 hour stretches as just another developmental milestone that he's reach when he's ready. 





I think you're right about the definition thing, i tend to think of sleeping through as 10-12hrs (tho why that is i don't know! lol!) 



I'm not really bothered how long other peoples kids sleep for, it's nothing to do with me after all. What annoys me a little is when people make out others are lazy for trying their best to get their kids to sleep. 



I think i've just been lucky with my two, once they got the hang of sleeping they went from 7-7 with no dreamfeeds or whatever. If they had have carried on waking through the night, who knows what my opinion would be! lol



I guess when people say their baby (older baby) is still waking in the nights, i imagine them being up every 4 hrs or something which probably isn't the case! As  you say, so long as the baby doesn't seem sleep deprived, it shouldn't be an issue. My youngest goes to bed between 7-8pm, wakes up about 7am then has a 2-3hr nap in the morning and sometimes another hour in the afternoon! (i think she LOVES her sleep like her mummy! haha!!)



I guess it's my love for sleep that makes me assume that my kids will also feel grumpy without a full nights sleep like i do.



Hope all that made sense!! :)

Amie - posted on 06/21/2009

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I remember this thread from another group. (don't remember which group lol!) The biggest thing with that thread that I agreed with is people wanting their tiny babies to sleep through the night. That is just ludicrous thinking. Babies need to eat a lot and sleep in small spurts. They do start to even themselves out eventually and can go longer between feeds. My smallest is 12 weeks old and just in the last week has started sleeping through the night.
Now before I'm asked... sleeping through the night for me is them sleeping 5 hours in a row! Anything after that is gravy. =) Just because I'm willing to suck it up and live off caffeine for the first months of their lives so they get their needs met doesn't mean I think other mom's are lazy. Though I don't understand how anyone expects their little ones to sleep longer when they are not supposed too. I was wishing for a good night's sleep too but I knew it would come again soon enough and enjoyed my time with my little ones. At night there are no distractions, it's just me and her/him. I also nap though when I can. Sometimes it's a ten minute power snooze, sometimes it's a couple hours when my hubbies home. =)
It is very common too for the first year of their lives for babies to get up at night. They have so much going on with their bodies that some might be hurting (remember growing pains?), some might be teething, some might still need to eat, though there are some that do it just because they've gotten into the habit of it. I don't mind this because again, they grow so fast it's not that long of a period in the scheme of things I just get up with them! Our toddler is getting her 2 year molars in and she's started waking up again at night. I get up with her and cuddle her for awhile, give her some orajel if her cheeks are really red and warm, then put her back to bed.
It's up to the parent to determine which of the things I mentioned though is going on with their kiddo's. If it is just a habit then teach them to self soothe like I have and you won't have to get up. You might still wake up when you hear them playing in their crib but they do put themselves back to sleep.
I have my babies in a pretty good pattern by 6 months though. They had a feed, bath, cuddle and then bed. Same time every night (even now that their older). If they woke up then they did, if they didn't and slept 8-12 hours, awesome! When their 6 months though I consider sleeping through the night to be at least that many hours. By the time mine were a year old they were all sleeping on average of 12 hours a night plus a nap during the day. Kids need sleep yes but they do get it, it's just not in the pattern we expect it always. After a year old though you should be able to correct this, sooner if a parent wishes but I wouldn't recommend it for any baby under 6 months.

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Quoting Sarah:

I agree with Cathelijn that you shouldn't expect a 2 week old baby to sleep through. It's just not possible at such a young age.
Some of the people who have posted are saying that their 10 month old (for example) still doesn't sleep through but it doesn't bother them because that's the way it should be.
Personally i DO NOT think that's the way it should be. I can't imagine how my little one who is a year old would cope if she woke through the night still, she'd be exhausted and grumpy.
I can remember being sooooo tired with my first! She didn't sleep through til over 6 months and i would be making her bottles and have to start again because i couldn't remember how many scoops of formula i'd put in. I would forget to boil the kettle, but still make a coffee then take a huge swig before i realised it was cold!!!
I was really struggling to function at that point.
I was really lucky with my 2nd, from the day she was born she would only wake once in the night for a feed. Then from 3 weeks she slept from about 9pm til 6am. Then she went through a stage of waking all night, but since then (touch wood!) she sleeps from 7-7 from about 6 months.
I think from about 6 months babies should learn how to sleep through as sleep is really important for development and things.
I just think it's a bit mean to call parents 'lazy' just because they want their babies and themselves to get a good nights sleep! :)


I wanted to respond to this since my 9 month old does still wake once a night to nurse, and it does not bother me. I think everyone has a different definition of "sleep through the night" - I've seen anywhere from 5 hours to 12 hours. I'd say my son sleeps through the night since he usually sleeps soundly from about 11pm to 6am, but others may disagree. At 9 months though, night waking is pretty common - more than half of 9 month old wake at least once at night.



There's also a big difference in sleep patterns between formula fed and breast fed babies, which makes these comparisons more difficult. When babies are breastfed, they typically sleep less overall, and often continue to have a night nursing session late into the first year. There are always exceptions of course, but on average, this is the case. My son has a 'dream feed' around 11pm. I guess I assume this is the norm, since our species managed this way for millennia. Any extra sleep is just a very welcome bonus, but certainly not necessary for babies to develop property. For me, as long as my son is meeting his milestones and doesn't act sleep deprived, I don't know what the big deal is. I see sleeping in 12 hour stretches as just another developmental milestone that he's reach when he's ready. 

Cathelijn - posted on 06/21/2009

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Ow I agree that from around 6 months a baby should be able to sleep through the night. And I think by that time you know why they cry, my daughter sleeps through the night but some days she won't eat enough and fall a sleep and not take her dreamfeed so I know she will wake up around 4 am because she is hungry. I don't like it but hey what can I do if she is hungry she is hungry... But some nights she will wake up fussing then I just ignore her she is not crying but she is talking and chewing on her own feet I just let her be ....

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Wanting sleep is not lazy. I don't think it's nice when moms look down on other moms just because they want sleep and don't boast of magical bonding moments at 2am. But I also don't like to hear about the use of various methods to force them to sleep in the early weeks. I'm not judging, I just don't personally like hearing about them. The worst I heard was adding over the counter medicine to a bottle.



I don't think controlled crying is bad as long as the baby has all his needs met and the crying is only a fussy cry, not a real screaming cry and it doesn't last too long.

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

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I agree with Cathelijn that you shouldn't expect a 2 week old baby to sleep through. It's just not possible at such a young age.
Some of the people who have posted are saying that their 10 month old (for example) still doesn't sleep through but it doesn't bother them because that's the way it should be.
Personally i DO NOT think that's the way it should be. I can't imagine how my little one who is a year old would cope if she woke through the night still, she'd be exhausted and grumpy.
I can remember being sooooo tired with my first! She didn't sleep through til over 6 months and i would be making her bottles and have to start again because i couldn't remember how many scoops of formula i'd put in. I would forget to boil the kettle, but still make a coffee then take a huge swig before i realised it was cold!!!
I was really struggling to function at that point.
I was really lucky with my 2nd, from the day she was born she would only wake once in the night for a feed. Then from 3 weeks she slept from about 9pm til 6am. Then she went through a stage of waking all night, but since then (touch wood!) she sleeps from 7-7 from about 6 months.
I think from about 6 months babies should learn how to sleep through as sleep is really important for development and things.
I just think it's a bit mean to call parents 'lazy' just because they want their babies and themselves to get a good nights sleep! :)

Mel - posted on 06/21/2009

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its ridiculous i agree , they are not lazy at all. you cant look after a child when you are sleep deprived and theres so many mums who have fallen asleep and their baby has suffocated and they have not realised, or fallen out of their arms and they have not realised. i think that is why controlled crying is such a necessity other wise you will in the long run end up with an upset unhappy baby that needs to be held all the time and a very upset, tired, angry, frustrated mother. they are not lazy at all! mine has always wanted to sleep right thru but still when i had to wake her for feeds i was very tired in the morning like all other mums and remember thinking i cannot get up and go about my day when i need another 10 hours sleep! but i managed we all do. i went thru an angry frustrated stage she'd get up in the morning want to stay up i was tired i would leave her to scream and cry tell her she was going back to sleep whether she liked it or not because i was tired. but being a mum is not easy when they are new borns. you get past it and forget just how sleep deprived you were i think. im trying for number two and i try not to think about the night feeds and how hard its going to be otherwise ill just cry

Cathelijn - posted on 06/21/2009

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I admit I did comments once on a post from someone who asked why their 2 week old would not sleep through the night and if they should start them on rice cereal. And I said that you could not expect a 2 week old to sleep through the night.

My daughter was really bad when we brought her home from hospital and I was exhausted as she was born at 2 am in the morning and I left the hospital that afternoon. I was crying she was crying my husband was loosing it I dont know what we expected, I guess for her to just go to sleep when we wanted her in her cot :-) She slept in the bed with me from then on, I was breastfeeding and she would eat every 2 hours. They told me I could not give her the bottle because she would forget how to latch on... After 6 weeks I started pumping and giving her bottles so I could have a break and a rest. At 10 weeks one night she just didn't wake up for her 4 am feed she would have a dreamfeed at 11 PM and sleep till about 6 that for me is sleeping through. She is 7 months now and sleeps from about 8 till 8 but still gets a dreamfeed at 10 otherwise she won't make it through the night! and trust me i rather do it at 10 pm then at 4 am in the morning. I was surprised that she started sleeping through at 10 weeks! with the way she was going I thought I would still be feeding her at 4 am at 6 months. I need my sleep I have started work again and I NEED to sleep otherwise I am a very grumpy mummy.. and a grumpy mummy is a grumpy baby! I think some people just cope better with no sleep then others. But I do think people need to be realistic and realize that most likely a 2-3 week old is not going to sleep through the night...

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