Slumber Parties/Sleepovers

Jodi - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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I just saw a post in another community about a 5 year old birthday slumber party, and was quite surprised. I'd personally NEVER do a slumber party for a 5 year old. The only time my daughter (6 1/2) has ever had a sleepover is when her cousin's stay (or she stays there), or if she stays with my parents. Until just the last year, she was still frequently waking at night from bad dreams (huge imagination).

I still remember a friend of mine when I was a kid who ALWAYS woke in the middle of the night and wanted to go home, right up until she was almost high school age. I wasn't so fussed, but then, I had 4 younger brothers, which is special incentive for wanting to stay at someone else's house.

What is the youngest YOU would ever do a slumber party for your kids (not with family, but friends)?

My son didn't have a sleepover until he was about 8, and I'm thinking along the same lines with my daughter. Even with her friends whose parents I know EXTREMELY well, I just don't think they are ready yet.

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Lady Heather - posted on 09/06/2011

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Sleepovers (like one-on-one with a friend) would depend on the kid. I started going on sleepovers when I was 6 and it was never a problem for me. A slumber party is different. That's a lot more work for whichever parent takes it on and having many kids there complicates matters. For me that wouldn't so much be about age as it would who's running things, how many kids, etc. I don't think I'd want to do a slumber party until 9 or 10 just because I wouldn't want to deal with a bunch of 6 or 7 year old kids overnight.

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Becky - posted on 09/10/2011

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I guess I never really gave it a thought. Until my daughter was school aged, her best friend was my cousin's daughter. My cousin also used to babysit for me when she was an infant. The girls had done sleep over's (there or here) since there very small. When she got to be school aged and started meeting other kids, it didn't seem odd when she wanted to spend the night @ other friends houses too. Other kids who weren't as used to spending the night away from home, I've talked with their parents. They told me the over night issues their child has had and given me a cell and home # just incase she just couldn't manage though the night at our place. We've occasionally had to send kids home late at night, but typically, since I already knew the issues going in, it was ok and we dealt with everything just fine. Of course my daughter try's to be very understanding of her friends and alerts me to any issues that come up with her friends while they are at our house.

I made the mistake of letting my daughter have a slumber party for her birthday at 7 years old . . . 6 girls all 6-7 years old in my house at once! Oy Vey! I didn't know little girls could create quite that much drama! By 2 am I was sitting on the steps by her bedroom door telling them every few minutes to go to sleep!!! But they all made it though the night just fine & were all somehow still friends by breakfast! lol!

Jenn - posted on 09/09/2011

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Mine have yet to sleep over anywhere without their dad or me. They are 4 & 7. I expect sometime in the near future, the girls will be sleeping over with their cousin. When hubby and I go to Vegas for a convention :)

My oldest's best friend is a boy, they have known each other since 11 months old. His mom and I decided long ago to not set a precedent with allowing sleep overs. They can do plenty of other things together.

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As a kid, my best friend in 1st-3rd grade was a boy, so we slept over at each other's houses ALL the time. The farthest we ever 'got' was a kiss on the cheek cuz I was moving. ;)

Both of the girls best friends have a brother and at their sleep over last weekend all 4 kids were in the living room together. Their best friends and the brothers are more like siblings to them though since all 6 kids (and now my son which makes 7) have been hanging together pretty much since birth.

Tara - posted on 09/08/2011

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Yep my oldest was 9 before she wanted to do one, and now has no problem and went away to sleepover camp for a week this summer, she's 11 now.
My daughter who just turned 9 still does like doing sleepovers. She wants to go, gets there, gets ready for bed and wants to come home, so she has decided to wait a little longer.
So yea I think 5 is really young and I really think it should depend on the kid.

Donna - posted on 09/08/2011

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i remember i wasnt ready for a sleep over untill i was 8. My kids keep bugging me to have one. or to stay at their friends house. I think i would allow it only bc their friends are all on the same block and if they did wanna come home it would be a 3 min walk.

Sarah - posted on 09/08/2011

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My youngest girl and my best friends youngest boy shared a bed when they had a sleepover, but they are only 3!

I remember having a sleepover when I was 9 or 10 and there were 4 girls and 2 boys......the next year though, the parents got together and decided that the boys had to go home at 11pm....haha!
In fairness, our mixed sleepovers were pretty tame, although there was some kissing! Strictly on the cheek.....or on the lips with NO tongues! Bless us, even that scared the crap out of us!

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Hey, why allow sleep overs in general then. Same sex/co-ed sleep overs both possess the same risks.

Sherri - posted on 09/08/2011

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Would you allow sleepovers at others houses with the opposite sex??

I wonder because I allow my 5yr old to sleepover his friends house (he has been friends with her since birth) all the time and she sleeps here often too. I am not sure when it wouldn't be considered acceptable any longer??

Sarah - posted on 09/08/2011

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I went on sleepovers from about 8-9yrs.

So long as I knew the parents well enough, I would happily let my eldest (who just turned 7) go to a sleepover.

Both my eldest and my youngest (who is 3) have had sleepovers at my best friends house with her two kids (who are 9 and 3). They do know my best friend very well though........I don't think I'd be sending my youngest off a sleepover anywhere else!

I think it mostly depends on the child, some kids don't seem too comfortable staying over night at other people's houses.....it never bothered me and it doesn't bother my girls either......yet anyway!

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Staying the night with a friend started when I was maybe 6 or 7. I didn't attend a slumber party until I was 11. I was invited, and my mom let me go, and would pick me up at 9 or 10.

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I should add that I was extremely hesitant to start sleepovers since I have one who was a sleepwalker and they both had occasional wet beds (or they'd end up naked during their middle of the night bathroom trip... lol).

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I had sleepovers w/ my best friend (a boy, at that) starting around 6.

My girls had their first sleepover w/ my best friend when I was in the hospital having their brother. It was 4 nights (but I saw them once or twice a day) and they were 6.25. They did a school sleepover event and a 3 night summer camp... both this year at 9. Their first 'real' sleepover for no reason other than fun was just last Saturday night.

Elfrieda - posted on 09/07/2011

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Just to add, I call sleep-overs before the age of 2 "babysitting." :)
My son is 20 months, and has slept over at my parents' house twice, once because we went away for the weekend, and once because we had put him down while we spent the evening, and then didn't have the heart to wake him up to bring him home. And I've had my nephew (7 months old at the time) sleep over at my house. Again, I classified that as "babysitting".

Stifler's - posted on 09/07/2011

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Depends how many kids come to be honest. I remember sleeping over friends places at 5 or 6 for their birthdays. One kid staying after the party is different to 10 kids who possibly still wet the bed and will be up all night giggling staying over. The youngest I'd go having a slumber party with more than 1 kids sleeping over is probably 8. We have had a friend's kid sleep over (she's 3) so they could go out and not have to worry about what time they got home before.

Rosie - posted on 09/07/2011

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i think whenever they want to is fine. for some kids that might be age 5, others it might be age 7 or older. my oldest did his first sleepover to someones house when he was 6ish. my middle boy (almost 7) still hasn't had one or done one. he still has yet to spend the night at grandma's house. he's tried a couple times and comes home crying each time. we'll just see when he's ready. :)

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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Preschool 2-4
Kindergarten 5
Elementary 6-10
Middle School - 11-13
High School - 14-18

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we start at year 7. Our schools go pre-school ages 2-3 (usually in church halls or similar) nursery ages 3-4, infants school ages 4-7 (reception to year 2), juniors school ages 7-10 (years 3 - 6), seniors (high school) ages 10-18 (years 7 - 13), when I was in school it was age16 then two optional years at college or sixth form until 18 but it's changed now.

So I was 10 really but a montth after I started
I turned 11, why does that suprise you Sherri is that young or old for you guys?

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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@Toni you started high school at 11???? Huh what the heck grade does your high school start at????

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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I would certainly allow a 5yr old too. I personally don't see the issue with it what so ever.

My 5yr old has been sleeping over at friends houses since he was a baby. He has done sleepovers over his friend Rachel's house since he was tiny and his Best friend Benjamin's house since he has been 4. Same with my older kids.

I am actually more surprised that you are surprised then anything else. It only becomes a problem if you make it one.

Becky - posted on 09/07/2011

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I'm thinking probably when they hit elementary school age - 6ish. Although, I could see doing a sleepover now if we needed an overnight babysitter (no, not to go get drunk!) and no family was available. But I don't know if the boys are comfortable enough with any of our friends to be willing to sleep at their house - they're pretty finicky about who puts them to bed, so it'd probably only be if it was an emergency.

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Gabby had sleep overs already. Floyd my nephew comes over for the night sometimes(hes 14 months), and my best friends daughter(2years). I had all three of them for a sleep over once. They love it. I also see the kids on a regular basis and know them very well.

Elfrieda - posted on 09/07/2011

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I totally agree with Heather on this one. I'd be fine with a sleep-over, meaning one friend or my kid as the only guest, from as young as three or four years old, but a slumber party seems more chaotic and I'd want my son to be at least 9 or 10 before he'd go to something like that. There is less parental supervision, and I want him to be somewhat self-sufficient before he's in that situation.

Amie - posted on 09/07/2011

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Our oldest started having sleep overs when she was about 6. Our son hasn't yet, though he's had friends stay here a couple times. He's 6.

Our daughter was ready and we knew the family well.
Our son's friends were ready and their family knows us well.

It doesn't bother us. I prefer it to when they're older anyway. When they're older they stay up half the night and I get up at least twice to tell them to keep it down (girls are oh so much fun, ha!). When they're little, bedtime is bedtime. LOL

Lady - posted on 09/07/2011

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I think I let my first son go to a sleep over when he was about 6 - I felt it was a little young but he really wanted to go and it was close enough so that I could easily go and pick him up if needed - it was with a friend and his mother so just the three of then which I thought was okay - no older siblings or father.

My first daughter was older and then it was a slumber party for a birthday - she never really slept and was grumpy the next day - which i'd probably my biggest problems with sleep overs - putting up with my kids the day after !!!

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I didn't start having sleepovers until I was in high school (so I was 11) although I wanted to before then my parents always said no. As a parent now I will not be allowing my kids to have a sleepover at a friends before they are 10 I just don't see the need.

My nephew started sleeping over at his friends house when he was 3 1/2 so his parents could go out and get drunk, I think that is awful, there is nothing wrong with having a drink or going out but our children when that young should most certainly come first. The worst thing about the whole situation was they had only just met the people they left him with they had no clue what they were like (before then they had left my nephew with us or my other SIL overnight but we were both busy).

Jodi - posted on 09/06/2011

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Thanks Johnny, that's why I asked, I was curious about other people's experiences, because I know how I feel about it with my kids (because of their personalities), I just didn't know where other people stood on the issue. Taylah has never been invited to one yet, so I am assuming it isn't all that common anyway at her age, but she HAS asked to have one (she knows about sleepovers because her older siblings have them), and I am SUPER reluctant because of she is still so dependent on us at night, I feel there is a big chance her friends might be. I told her I'll think about it again when she is 7, but that's only 6 months away and I'm still not certain it's an option.

Johnny - posted on 09/06/2011

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I had my first sleepovers in kindergarten. I was 4 or 5. There were a few that year with different kids. I never got upset or went home in the night. They were fun. I spent a week away at sleepaway camp when I was 7.

I think that this is one of those cases in which you really have to base it on your individual child. My best friend and I started our sleepovers, as I said, in kindergarten, at both of our houses and there was no problems. My best friend's sister didn't stay away for the night until she was 14. Until then she always came home in the middle of the night.

I will just wait and see how my daughter is when it's first mentioned. I think you've really got to judge it individually and not assume that the same choice is right for every kid.

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