Smoking cigarettes...and having children...

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2010 ( 76 moms have responded )

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I am 24 and have 4 children. I also do in-home daycare and my daycare parents also smoke cigarettes. I started smoking when I was 18 and have never smoked inside or in my vehicle with children present. I have read numerous articles about what second hand smoking can do to young children, and I don't think that I would disagree with what Ive read but I've also heard that blowing smoke in your childs ear with an infection can help ease the pain as an older remedy. Kind of like putting whiskey on a teething tots teeth to help with the pain! I am not saying that I'm proud of being a smoker and I am not proud or happy when my children ask why I smoke or my 7 year old comes home from school and says that smoking is yucky and that his teachers and others during drug free week say how bad it is for them, I hate hearing it but being a stay at home mom with 4 children, daycare children, a lazy hubby(sorry babe) and 2 dogs and 1 cat, I clean constantly and do enjoy de-stressing with a smoke now and than! I'm just wondering what other people think about smoking cigarettes and what they do differently than I do or if maybe I'm just being stupid to still be smoking with my children present. I'm not looking for people to harass me and tell me to quit because if I wanted to quit I would. The choice is my own and I dont want to at the moment. But I'd love to hear your input!

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Minnie - posted on 11/09/2010

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When I smell smoke on someone I feel like I'm going to die. That's just the truth. I feel like the particles are jumping off of their clothes into my lungs. Second hand smoke is not the only worry. Third hand, what clings to a smoker's clothes and body, also can cause cancer.

I personally just don't think it's a good idea to be a smoker and have children. I can't imagine how hard it is to quit, as I've never had a cigarette in my life. But I still feel really bad for children who have to be exposed to cigarette smoke and its toxins in all forms.

My short, non-polite answer- I think cigarettes are deplorably gross. Cancer-stick, anyone?

Sarah - posted on 11/10/2010

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I haven't read all the posts (coz I'm too busy smoking! hahaha!!)

I've smoked for about 12yrs now.
I don't smoke in the house, or in the car (yuk!) I'm always aware of other people if I'm outside smoking ie. I'll move away if I'm near a group that doesn't smoke etc.

I don't think smoking is good in any way, shape or form, but I also don't think that it makes me a terrible person or a bad parent. I got addicted to something very young, and it's a REALLY hard habit to break for some people (me having like zero will power!). My hat goes of to those who have managed it, the best I've been able to do is cut down.

To be honest, I enjoy my cigarettes, and I try to smoke as responsibly as is possible to smoke.

It IS a dirty disgusting habit, no doubt about it, and I hope someday soon my wanting to quit will turn into actually quitting. I think that if more people were like the majority of you fine ladies, and actually SUPPORTED people that smoke, rather than condemning them, more people would be able to quit. :)

~Jennifer - posted on 11/10/2010

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....I'm just gonna have a cigarette and watch you all argue.

;)

[deleted account]

My main point in that argument is why is everyone so hateful against smokers when the same argument can be said against drivers and no one says a peep. Everyone willingly exposes their children to poisonous exhaust fumes every day and that's ok?

Eliz - posted on 11/09/2010

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I smoked when I was 13 until my best friend told me she wouldn't be my friend anymore if I continued to smoke. I quit until I was 22. I started to smoke again because I had just left my husband. It lasted about 2 months because I had an infant and would not even hold him until I had a shower because I couldn't allow him to breath in any of the cigarette smell. I am 26 now and have been smoke free since. My husband smokes but does it outside and does want to quit some day. (he hasn't decided when yet but hopefully it will be soon) If our son sees him smoking he tells our son that what daddy is doing is very bad. (our son is almost 2) My father smoked most of his life up until a few days ago when he had to have triple bypass surgery after having a bad heart attack. He has to quit smoking now if he wants to keep on living. I know its hard for people who have smoked a long time to quit but I personally wished no one (especially those with children) smoked. Its a waste of money and isn't just harmful to those that smoke. It affects everyone around them.

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Meghan - posted on 11/11/2010

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I love smoking...whatever. I quit while I was pregnant, I don't smoke in the house or the car...I think J has seen me buy smokes 3 times. I honestly do have an outside jacket or sweater that I wear outside and it stays in the laundry room after, and I wash my hands before I get near him. Kids are going to see people smoke period. I would rather kids see a parent smoke than shoot up or be hammered-which we all know happens waaay more than it should!

Rebecca - posted on 11/11/2010

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I think that as long as you don't do it around your children, it's all right. I quit smoking cigarettes when i found out my daughter was on her way to the world, but i was tempted to start back up again after she was born. I bought a vapor cigarette so i'd stay away from the more harmful things, and only use it when i feel like having a cigarette.

April - posted on 11/11/2010

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@ Cassie...that's so sad! and a very good idea...i wish i thought of that (writing on cigarettes). probably wouldn't work either, but worth a try!

[deleted account]

Sherri, it may be possible that I wouldn't actually smell it on you, but I'd be willing to hazard a guess that being around you would probably make me cough. I just wouldn't know WHY. ;)

[deleted account]

I could smell it on my husband sometimes even after he showered, changed, & dropped his clothes at the cleaners. It seemed worse on rainy days. I think rainy days, he drove (rather than walked) from his office to the gym, and the smoke residue would get in the car. I HATED that! If he wore smoked-in clothes in the car, it didn't really matter if he showered and changed because he was getting right back into the car and covered with residue that was left on the seat. Not to mention that our child rode in that car!! You can't put a child in a car someone has been riding around in wearing clothes they smoked in. Ugh. I'm so glad he finally quit--that was a a lot of trouble to go through for something intended to help him relax!

Cassie - posted on 11/10/2010

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Most of my extended family smokes. I still remember as children, my cousins would write things on my aunt's cigarettes such as "We love you Mom" "Please quit" "We don't want you to die" and she still never quit. She has heart and lung problems now and probably won't live another ten years. It's sad that even her children's pleas for her to quit weren't enough. Smoking affects so many lives in such greater ways than we realize.

Krista - posted on 11/10/2010

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Yeah, as an ex-smoker, I can smell a smoker really easily. The mom of one of the kids at my daycare smokes, and even though she doesn't smoke around her child, I can still smell smoke on her kid just from when she holds him.

April - posted on 11/10/2010

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i can smell a smoker from a mile away, but of course...I am deaf...my sense of smell is keener (more so when i take my hearing aid out). This isn't because I have a better sense of smell than you...it's because my brain is trained to compensate for my lack of hearing. I still agree with Lisa...Sherri your friends are being kind!

Minnie - posted on 11/10/2010

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They are like I never would have known you don't look or smell like a smoker.



I guarantee you that the people you think don't know you're a smoker until you tell them....they know :)



This. Your friends are nice :).

Sherri - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have shocked people up and down time and time again. They are like I never would have known you don't look or smell like a smoker. They are blown away and none of them are smokers. I have had the conversation with many people and truly none of them knew.

[deleted account]

Sherri, a non-smoker can sniff out a smoker no matter what they do. Even if I go for a day without smoking, I can smell it on other people. In fact, just this morning as my husband was getting into bed, he had just had a cigarette, taken a shower and brushed his teeth and I could still smell it. And I smoke. I guarantee you that the people you think don't know you're a smoker until you tell them....they know :)

[deleted account]

I hate smoking and I can't stand being aorund people who smoke...consequently I have no friends who smoke. I just don't understand why people put their childrens' health at risk so they can smoke. Yes stopping smoking is hard. My granda smoked cigars from the age of 13 to 60 and he stopped cold turkey. I just think more help should be given for mothers and fathers to stop smoking before they have children.

Sherri - posted on 11/10/2010

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I am also a smoker. Not a heavy smoker. I also do daycare and all the parents know. I don't smoke in my home. I NEVER smell like smoke either. I am around people all the time and nobody ever realizes I am a smoker unless I tell them.

Stifler's - posted on 11/10/2010

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Do you really believe that the air you breathe in general is poison?

Becky - posted on 11/10/2010

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I think that parents who smoke are cheating their kids and themselves. Nevermind the health risks to their children, which are there even if they don't smoke around their children. They are potentially cheating themselves out of a long, healthy life, and condemning their children to be orphaned early and possibly watch them die a terrible, painful death.
I don't smoke, but if I did, I think once my children got into school and started learning about the dangers and asking why I was trying to kill myself, I wouldn't be able to look them in the eye anymore if I didn't find some way to quit.

[deleted account]

What a strange thing to rant about...exhaust fumes

I would like to point out that yes I hate smoking but I do not hate smokers there is a difference, people cannot help what they become addicted to. :-)

[deleted account]

You know that saying that some things are "like riding a bike"? As in, once you do them again, you'll remember how? Well, for me, that doesn't apply to...riding a bike lol I hadn't ridden a bike in 25ish years and got on one again recently. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't cute. It was funny as hell for my husband but I imagine that's because I looked like a circus animal trying to balance on a ball. Awkward and clumsy and let's just say I got off before I hurt myself. I'm SO glad I was able to entertain my husband though. That makes me all warm and friggin' fuzzy inside ROFL!

Bonnie - posted on 11/10/2010

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I'm not walking everywhere or waiting for buses with two small kids if I don't have to. Not only that, but my husband needs a vehicle for work. He is a community nurse and goes to people's houses. Really can't compare the two.

Krista - posted on 11/10/2010

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That's the thing: no, car exhaust isn't good for us. And yes, if we CAN, we should try to find ways to cut down on the amount of driving we do. But you really can't compare that to smoking around a child, which is purely voluntary and has absolutely no inherent benefits in it.

April - posted on 11/10/2010

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me too Teresa!! My neighbor's daughter let me try her 10 speed a few weeks ago and I took off screaming! I was so scared because i hadn't rode a bike since I was about 12!!

[deleted account]

A deactivated account over car exhaust....? Alrighty then, but I'm going to comment on that stuff anyway. ;) Riding a bike isn't an option for me. Forget about the fact that I'm a 15 minute drive from the girls school and a 20 minute drive (opposite direction) from most of the shopping and stuff.... I can't ride a bike. My balance isn't good enough. Seriously, my 2 year old has almost better balance than I do. Driving my kids is MUCH safer for ME. ;)

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Yes, I think I can manage a way to strap my son's car seat on top of a smart car. /:) Which is really besides the point since there are better cars out there.
As far as the pot calling the kettle black, they're still INCOMPARABLE.

[deleted account]

So drive a smart car. You're complaining about toxins being around your child and how disgusting and dangerous smoke is; I'm complaining about toxins being around me and my children and how disgusting and dangerous car exhaust is. Back to my point though: can the pots stop calling the kettle black?

Kate CP - posted on 11/10/2010

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Personally, I like having ambulances and fire trucks and police cars. I also like the fact that my husband can get to work within an hour thanks to our shiny car. And comparing them to smoking is just silly. A person doesn't HAVE to smoke. But a person may HAVE to drive to get to work.

Krista - posted on 11/10/2010

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My main point in that argument is why is everyone so hateful against smokers when the same argument can be said against drivers and no one says a peep. Everyone willingly exposes their children to poisonous exhaust fumes every day and that's ok?

It's not OKAY, but for most people, it's really unavoidable. Smoking is not anything that anybody NEEDS to do, whereas driving is, unfortunately. I have a 45-minute commute to my work. I probably could do it by bicycle, but it might a) make me a smidge late for work, and b) be rather difficult when there's 5 inches of snow on the ground.

Besides, kids of smokers are ALSO often being exposed to exhaust fumes, so they're getting a bit of a double-whammy, no?

So I agree with Dana -- there's really no point in comparing the two.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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This is a thread about smoking, not pollutants, so how is the fact that we're talking about smoking hypocritical? Like I said, if you want to talk car pollutants, I'm sure everyone will agree that they're awful too. But again, it's not comparable.

Bonnie - posted on 11/10/2010

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I am not against smokers and I wouldn't say I despise it; to each their own really. I have never been a smoker, never even tried one ever. My husband back in highschool tried it, but never became a smoker. His father (with a million health problems) smokes and so does his grandfather. Both my parents use to smoke, my dad a lot heavier than my mom. My mom quite way before my dad did. When I went to school, people use to ask me if I smoke because they could smell it all over me. That disgusted me and made me feel very bad because it was so far from the truth. My dad has now been smoke free for almost 13 years. My Aunt smokes. I don't think she will ever quite. She says she just can't. I think the thing that bothers me the most is the smell of stale smoke like when you walk into someone's home.

[deleted account]

no but I think its quite extreme to start talking about hating smokers and smoke, quitting smoking for the kids....hypocritical if you ask me.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Yes, I understand that, which is why I said - "Well if you want to start a thread about car pollutants, I imagine we'd all say those suck too but, to compare them is just not the same."

Just because we're not discussing car pollutants and their impact on our children doesn't mean we think they're fine.

[deleted account]

that's not what I'm saying really. I'm arguing against the "smoker haters" using their logic on the subject of another toxin that they willingly subject their children to.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Well if you want to start a thread about car pollutants, I imagine we'd all say those suck too but, to compare them is just not the same.

Basically you're taking your situation where it's possible for you to ride your bike everywhere and applying it to everyone else, it's just not feasible. The world is bigger than your own back yard.

[deleted account]

There are child seats to attach to the bikes, infant seats for the handle bars, not to mention carts. Not every street has bike lanes or sidewalks (it's illegal to ride there anyways), but yes we ride in the street.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Well, it's great that you live somewhere that you can ride your bike everywhere, it's great that you can ride to the grocery store with all your kids in tow. I assume they're all old enough to ride bikes too. Do you have bike lanes, side walks or do you all ride in the street like we would have to do where I live.

[deleted account]

I hate the fact that non-drivers are subjected to others fumes. We have to bike through it to get anywhere. For me driving is selfish, rude, a danger to my and my kids lives and a complete waste of money! The world would be a better place if there was no cars. Just sayin.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Well, I suppose we could go back to horse and buggy. Our economy in the US would just be great if we all quit driving! :D

[deleted account]

not the same? it's worse! there aren't as many smokers as drivers with their stinky cars. And no, nobody needs a car to function.

Dana - posted on 11/10/2010

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Yes, car's emit pollutants, it's not the same as cigarettes though. Most of us need cars to function, we hardly need cigarettes to function.

[deleted account]

I'm not a smoker but I think it's a little funny how anti-smoking everyone is and I wondered if anybody is anti-car exhaust to the point of complaining about everyone that has a car (that emits). Car emissions are also a cause of cancer (one that you expose your kids to every day!) and they stink! I think the world would be a better place without cars. Not only are they a danger to me while I'm riding my bicycle (look much?!) but they also pollute the air I breathe.

[deleted account]

I hate smoking, I hate the fact that none smokers are subjected to others smoke. We have to walk through it to enter buildings, we have to put up with smelling the stink on the person in the queue behind us etc. Normally it just pees me off but when I am pregnant it makes me physically sick, the other day I was in a+e with my hubby (stupid man cut his arm open) and a bloke came in from having a ciggie, he was sitting more than 10 feet from me yet he still made me gag. For me smoking is selfish, rude and a complete waste of money! The world would be a better place if there was no smokers.

April - posted on 11/10/2010

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and i am not saying it's alright to be a smoker if you shower elsewhere, get your laundry done else where, and walk home. IMO smoking is a selfish habit that affects your entire family, as well as complete strangers. We just got new neighbors in our apartment complex. we've never even invited them in our apt, but guess what? our apt smells heavily of smoke. Thanks a lot new neighbors!

April - posted on 11/10/2010

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I agree with you Emma, that's what i would also do if i had ever been a smoker. however...i don't agree with deciding to stop because you're pregnant and then starting up again after the baby (ies) are born. I really think a lot of families don't get that just because you "don't do it around the kids" doesn't mean the smoke isn't affecting them. I don't think many truly understand the danger of third hand smoke. Unless you did what Kelly H's husband did...showering at the gym and dropping the clothes off at the cleaners and don't even allow the clothes to be in your car...i can't understand why some people don't blink twice when it comes to smoking after the kids are born. I highly doubt most people do what Kelly H's husband did.

Stifler's - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have never smoked but I have known so many women who did and then they had the kids and just gave it up when they were pregnant and are proud to not smoke again after and I think if I were a smoker that's the path I'd choose.

Charlie - posted on 11/09/2010

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Im going with Dana because i particularly lazy today and sign me up to Sara B's post too LOL.

Tah - posted on 11/09/2010

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besides the fact that it stays in your clothes, it also stays in your body for a while afterwards, maybe an hour or so in your lungs, so you can come home naked, and still be exposing your children...

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