Smoking - is it abuse when kids are around?

Firebird - posted on 05/06/2011

Haha Kati where I lived minus 30 was nothing! It dropped to minus 60 with the windchill and we'd still go outside. Our apt had a storage closet outside and we had a small room heater out there. Didn't do a lot but it kept the edge off lol

Rosie - posted on 05/06/2011

corrie, i used to smoke inside of my house around my children as well. when we bought our new house, we vowed to not smoke in it. we did great until winter came around and got to be 30 below and we just decided it's too cold, we'll just do it in the mudroom. then we just got so relaxed to the idea we did it in the house. before i quit i was smoking inside around my kids. i knew it was wrong, but i just couldn't bring myself to stop. i was and still am furious at myself for doing it. my oldest had constant ear infections until he was over a year old and had tubes put in. something they say smoking causes. he also has ADHD, something else they say smoking while pregnant (i had like 4 smokes a day) causes. IT STILL DIDN'T REGISTER WITH ME.
now that i've quit i look back, and still see my husband doing it and i'm pissed. my 2 youngest have started getting ear infections and sick alot, they've never been this sick in their lives. i've nagged and nagged my husband cause i know yelling won't work. i've finally started to see results. he now goes outside. of course it is warmer now, we'll see how it is when it's 30 below. but hell, he goes outside to smoke while at work and freezes his ass off then, he can surely do it at home. i hope he can keep it up!! :)

just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one who has made this mistake. just vow to change, make it so you feel you are in a restaurant or your work or something. you wouldn't DREAM of smoking there, why do it at home? good luck!!♥

Firebird - posted on 05/06/2011

Where I live it's illegal to smoke in a house or vehicle with a person under 14. I always hated when my mom smoked inside, especially in the car since she wouldn't even open a window. Since my daughter was born, I haven't smoked inside my house. Not sure if I'd go so far as to call it abuse though.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

Awesome decision Corrie, on the new house. Make it happen and be proud of it :). As I have said, I used to be a smoker, but I did stop smoking inside when I had kids, but I can TOTALLY understand how hard it is. Making that decision to change things for the benefit of your kids is wonderful. Stay strong :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

Corrie, I am glad to hear that. Keep yourself true to that promise also. There is no need to smoke by a window, when there is a door to walk out of. Habits can be hard to break, but this is an important one. Hell, your house will smell better too!

Corrie - posted on 05/06/2011

I don't know why i do it. I really don't i know and i feel guilty. It's sheer laziness. I'm moving next week and i will NOT be smoking in the house. No one will.
For all the reasons previously stated.
I think i smoked in the house because my parents, their parents, his parent, his grandparent...etc all did! I wa never away from it. And now as an adult with my own children, i've done it more out of habit. Even though i know the risks.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

I totally understand Marina :) I do get your point. I just think it is still apples and oranges, but I am still tossing that one. But it is bed time, so I'm going to shelve it, LOL.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

Yeah, once again you are right. I am more defending the oustide smokers. I do not agree with smoking inside any environment with kids around. Oustide in the fresh air...just walk away from the kids and be responsible.

I am gonna try to explain this from a different angle. MOST, not all....but lots of smokers do not do this near their children. But many parents on a daily basis are feeding their children foods with health hazardous additives without even a second thought (non smokers and smokers alike). These additives are found in cereals, yogurts, crackers, jellies, popcorn, candy, juice drinks....I mean everything. And this is daily food that many will eat. What I am saying, is that you may want to protect your kids from second hand smoke, or third hand because a relative has smoke on their shirt but you won't let them near the kid....but go ahead and let them eat food with dangerous additives. I just find it a bit hypocritical. I am not a perfect parent. I avoid what I can, and feed lots of natural foods. I am trying to be as aware as I can....like many parents.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

I understand Marina :) A lot of food brands are now starting to remove the food colourings and flavourings, and using that as their marketing (which is great....but I am always still skeptical). I think it would be great if there was some REAL progress with this as well. But I still don't think we can compare it to passive smoking by children because parents are too selfish or ignorant to make changes. There is absolutely research PROOF that this leads to one of the most incurable cancers there is, and the most damage is going to be done while they are so young and still developing. The evidence is undeniable. All those other things we mentioned are only in early stages of undeniable proof. Lung cancer in passive smokers is not even questioinable.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

Jodi, I am using that to make a point. Many parents who feed their kids food with all those additives, end up with kids on add/adhd drugs. Or kids with cancer, or other behavioral problems. I am not arguing one is worse than the other, just making the point. I wish food colorings in food was banned. Not smoking as a whole. I don't agree with smoking in a car with a kid...that is just wrong and bad judgement. Same for smoking in the home where your kids live, sleep and eat.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

Corrie, is there a reason you don't go outside? Just curious. I used to be a smoker, and I used to go outside.....and I have a HUGE 4 bedroom house with a downstairs rumpus and granny flat (with extra bedroom bathroom and living area). I also never smoked in the car.

My oldest, after he has been at his dad's house, develops a cough. I have been trying to get to the bottom of it. It turns out dad has an enclosed sunroom in what he calls "outside the house". Well, really, it isn't. It is just an extra room off the house. And when they leave the door open into the house, all the smoke wafts in. And my son has a cough when he gets home. I SUSPECT this is the cause of the cough, but I can't be certain.......just saying.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

If you feel guilty, and know it is wrong Corrie, then stop smoking in the house. It doesn't matter the size of the home, it is still in the house. I am a smoker. Don't think I am coming down on you smoking.

Corrie - posted on 05/06/2011

Yeah, it's got nothing to do with the question asked. It's just another topic we COULD discuss.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

Marina, I totally agree that additives, etc, are bad for us. I still don't agree, however, that it is the same as comparing passive smoking. I think we are comparing two things which are motivated by totally different emotional decisions by the parent.

Corrie - posted on 05/06/2011

Can i just say that regardless of the chemicals, the second or third hand smoke, the cars, houses, weather ("Hey man, if you choose to smoke, bugger off outside, in the pouring rain and sleet and snow, don't smoke in front of me! It's your choice!!" - And i'm a smoker...)
Shouldn't another part of it be teaching your child a good lesson? Do as i do? The Impression on children from parent smoking, drinking, being violent... Surely that should be an issue too? And part of the reason smoking around kids is wrong.
I smoke in the house. I have a huge 4 bed house. I never smoke with my child on the same floor, definitely not in the same room, i stand in the kitchen with the window open. And i think it's wrong. I feel guilty. Because i know the thing it can do to my son.
I dunno if it should be illegal, but i certainly think it should be much more known.... It is abusive. Like you've said, the child has no choice. It should possibly be punishable.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

Here is another one

Blue 1 and Blue 2
Blue 1, used to color candy, beverages and baked goods, may cause cancer. Blue 2, found in pet food, candy and beverages, has caused brain tumors in mice.

Red 3

This food coloring is used in cherries (in fruit cocktails), baked goods and candy. It causes thyroid tumors in rats, and may cause them in humans as well.

Yellow 6

As the third most often used food coloring, yellow 6 is found in many products, including backed goods, candy, gelatin and sausages. It has been found to cause adrenal gland and kidney tumors, and contains small amounts of many carcinogens.

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/04...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

This list gives a run down on what additives can do to us. This is not the original one I was looking for....the other one was more descript with food colorings....but it is still helpful.
http://www.traditionaloven.com/articles/...

Bonnie - posted on 05/06/2011

Where I live smoking is prohibited in any public place.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

You are right Jodi, to an extent. Many food colorings in everyday food for kids (or geared for kids) is link to behavioral issues, add, adhd, and cancer. Now they have a new drink out...I will try to find it. I cannot remember the name....but it comes in a pouch, and you pour this liquid into water....it looks like pure food coloring. Why would anyone drink this shit?

Jenni - posted on 05/06/2011

Speaking of smoking in cars. I won't even smoke in a car with an adult who doesn't smoke! Let alone a child.

I'm not a heavy smoker though so I can wait for an appropriate time. There's always rest stops on long car rides. But I can go 4-5 hours before I get the urge.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

I actually question comparing cigarettes with processed food. I do understand that processed, sugary food is addictive for some, AND that it causes health issues goes without saying, but cigarettes are addictive for MOSt, and the chances are, that if you see a person smoking in the car with their child, it is a regular occurrence and that child is breathing that in more often than not, whereas if someone is buying their child McDonalds (example) there is a pretty big chance it is a treat.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

Yeah, I think banning food with dangerous food coloring in it should be banned right along with smoking in your car with kids.

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2011

Slippery slope, if smoking around a child is abuse (though I dont do this unless I am outside), then feeding your child anything processed is abuse. There are just as many toxins in fast food, boxed food as there are in smokes.

That being said we dont smoke in our homes, or cars. We dont take our children to homes that are smoked in. Its not abuse, but it sure isnt right also.

Jen - posted on 05/06/2011

I don't smoke, I think it's nasty and repellent and dangerous. But it is a legal behavior. If you're going to prevent a person from doing a perfectly legal behavior in their own home, that opens the door to preventing a lot of things. I mean, we only recently got rid of the laws (in most states) that made anal-sex illegal even between consenting adults in the privacy of their own home. It's not that much of a leap for me.

So instead if you want that, don't be wishy washy (not you personally, the general you) and ban smoking completely.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2011

I think smoking inside a car with children could be considered abuse, it is such a closed space. As much as I dislike smoking in a home, maybe it could be also. I think if you are a smoker, just being considerate of others should be a general knowledge. Some people are just rude about it.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2011

"I smoke and I also abide the law, and the law here is NO SMOKING in your house with a child younger than 16 present, same goes for cars and there isn't a single restaurant or business you are allowed to smoke in."

Kaleigh, just out of interest, where do you live that bans smoking in your own home? Not that I disagree with it, because I do, but I am just curious where that is.

Erin - posted on 05/06/2011

I'm a smoker, but I never smoked inside even before I got pregnant. Smoking inside is disgusting! I started smoking again when my daughter was 6 months old and I would never have considered lighting up anywhere near her. I'm not sure if it is technically abusive, but it is really fucking stupid and thoughtless.

Oh and temperatures where I live (Aus) are regularly over 100F in summer. To be honest, it does deter me from going out for a smoke when it's that hot and I tend to smoke less. But using it as an excuse to smoke inside? Not a chance.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/05/2011

That's the key - if you know better than to me it's abusive. I wouldn't do anything to my daughter that I know for a FACT will increase her chances of various cancers and all sorts of other illnesses. If you are somehow unaware of this, fine. But most of us are aware and there really isn't any excuse to just ignore the facts. By all means, smoke. But in a confined indoor space with your kids? In this day and age you have to be living under a rock not to know that's dangerous. Ignoring obvious danger is abuse in my opinion.

Rebecca - posted on 05/05/2011

Whelp, my ex-long term bf, had a mother who smoked. She tried to hide doing it in the house later in life, but smoked in front of him when he was a child.



She is a nurse, in a cancer treatment ward...believe it or not.



Anyway, my ex had severe asthma and terrible eczema which left him with scars on much of his body. I used to wonder if she hadn't smoked most of his childhood if he wouldn't have had to deal with these problems for the rest of his life.



Not much of a legacy to leave you son, but I know it is your right to smoke if you want.

Kaleigh - posted on 05/05/2011

I smoke and I also abide the law, and the law here is NO SMOKING in your house with a child younger than 16 present, same goes for cars and there isn't a single restaurant or business you are allowed to smoke in. Most buildings you have to be like 20ft from the entrance if you're smoking, no smoking on school or daycare properties (my son's daycare you're actually not even allowed to be within eyesight with a lit smoke, sign says to set a good example for the kids and has the price of the fine) and when it comes to the hospital you actually have to cross the street you can't even be on the same city block! Now the reprocussions are hefty fines, but I know smoking in your home if you have children under 16 is enough for children's services to get involved and is considered abuse. I gotta be honest I agree with it, surrounding a child with harmful chemicals is abuse. Yes I'm a smoker so there you have it, the only thing that pisses me off is when people get into the argument that stepping outside is leaving your child unattended and is therefore abandoning them or some other horrible thing, some common sense and attentiveness is all you need so no I don't agree that if my son is within sight in our babyproofed home, safe and content playing with his toys, that I am leaving him in a dangerous situation because I'm on my porch to have a smoke. Thats usually how these debates get turned into a ban smoking rampage.

I define abuse in that you knowingly are causing a child damage, be it physical, emotional, etc. So I do think smoking fits into that catagory, you can love your child and still put them in harms way due to carelessness and I think that's abuse if you know different but do it anyway.

Teresa - posted on 05/05/2011

I feel abused when I'm forced to inhale someone else's smoke and I start coughing and choking and almost puke..... ;)

Nicole - posted on 05/05/2011

Smoking in a confined space while a child is eating... gross - go outside, if its to hot or to cold stop your whinnning and think about your kids for a second. if your that "desperate" for a smoke then maybe you should think about quiting.
smoking in the car with or without the windows up is horrible, i can remember me being the kid in the back seat when i was little and getting hot ash and smoke blown back in my face, its not nice. wait ten minutes and smoke when you get to your destination.
its illegal here in NZ to smoke inside public places and i cat even imagine how gross it would be to be eating my dinner at a restaurant and someone smoking, even if they are in there own corner.

Julianne - posted on 05/05/2011

I don't smoke. If someone smokes around my daughter, i feel like they are abusing her. They are knowingly exposing her to harmful chemicals. If anyone smokes around her...i tell them to put it out, even if its their house. If they don't, i leave.

Lacye - posted on 05/05/2011

I do smoke but I go outside. I don't smoke in the car with my daughter in there either. Even if I did smoke in the car, I would have the window down. I can't even stand when a car window isn't down and somebody is smoking. I just can't take it. It's actually illegal here to have your window rolled up while in a car.

I don't think it is abuse though. Some people just haven't done any research and just don't know.

Sarah - posted on 05/05/2011

I guess my opinion is a bit different than the majority here. While I agree that smoking around children is pretty disgusting, and I would NEVER allow anyone to smoke around my daughter, I don't agree that is constitutes abuse. Not meaning any disrespect by this, just something to think about if you haven't already: I would think that maybe someone who has been physically, verbally, sexually etc. abused might welcome a parent that loves them, but also smokes around them. Because I think that just because you smoke around your kids, doesn't mean you don't love them. But someone who can actually hurt their children, probably doesn't have much love in there heart for their kids. Just my thoughts.

Jenn - posted on 05/05/2011

Yes - it is abuse IMO. It's illegal to smoke in a vehicle with a child under 16 here and I can't wait for the day when it's illegal to do so in your home.

Jenn - posted on 05/05/2011

If you can smell smoke, you are inhaling smoke. We have always been vocal about no family or friends smoking around our children. So then some members figure they can at least light up outside with the kids. NO! Not allowed! Cigarettes are referred to as cancer sticks for a reason...if someone wants to poison their own body, go for it but that better not waft my childrens way! Smoking indoors should absolutely be banned everywhere. We are currently taking care of my MIL who's lifelong smoking has contributed and confounded all her many health issues which has led her to teach her grandchildren inadvertently the devastation of smoking on the body. Sorry, what was the question? ;)

Chrissie - posted on 05/05/2011

I believe that people should be courteous and considerate when a pregnant woman or children are present. It doesn't hurt the smoker to walk further away,. but it will hurt he kids.
I would always say 'I'm sorry would you mind smoking over there..my son is allergic'

Teresa - posted on 05/05/2011

Well... since I'm one of the unpopular ones that wishes smoking were 100% illegal.... you can probably guess my feelings on this. I have an extreme sensitivity to smoke and I tend to like breathing. ;)

Jocelyn - posted on 05/05/2011

I'm not sure I would consider it abuse per say...more along the lines of body integrity and idiocy.
I'm a smoker; I don't smoke around kids, or anyone who doesn't smoke. It's my choice to breath in this crap, but it's not their choice.

Keli - posted on 05/05/2011

i think smoking should not be around kids.if your going to smoke around them you might as well light one up for them because its causing the same damage. i hate being in vehicles when a person is smoking. for the record putting your window down a crack isnt doing squat. :) the majority of my family used to smoke, i grew up around it but never took on the habbit and never will.!! i dont think id call it Abuse,i believe smokers most likely love their children a great amount and dont mean to harm them,.they just need to educate them more on smoking and what second hand smoking does to others.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2011

Kate, just for the record, in Australia it is illegal to smoke indoors in public places, everyone goes outside to smoke......and there are MANY places here that regularly go over 100F. Just sayin'. It is also illegal to smoke in a car with kids here too.

Amber - posted on 05/05/2011

Every restaurant where I live has smoking sessions enclosed and separate from non-smoking. They are usually on opposite sides of the building from either other. A lot of places are going non-smoking all together.

There is no smoking in my house either. If somebody wants to smoke, they can take it outside. When it's below freezing, I'll sometimes let them use the garage. That's only if my car isn't in there though.

My dad always smoked around me and I hated it. I always smelled like smoke and it would make me cough if he got too close to me.

Jenni - posted on 05/05/2011

Ack! I hated when my dad smoked in the car. He'd open the window but it'd blow right back into my face.
Smoking with kids in the car is illegal in my province (country?) but I wouldn't do it anyways.
There is also no smoking within a certain distance of stores and shops. No smoking in restaurants or bars.

I smoke on my front porch. I'd feel awful smoking around my kids. I don't even want them to see me smoke. Wish I could kick the habit again!

Bonnie - posted on 05/05/2011

I'm not sure I would go as far as calling it abuse, but children don't exactly have a choice. They can't move out. I have heard that second hand smoke is bad, but third hand spoke (the chemicals that are left on clothes or in a house or car way after a person has smoked) is even worse. So even if they smoke in the house or car when the children aren't present it is bad.

I know when my parents use to smoke, it got so bad to the point that when I was in grade 7, I had friends at school ask if I smoke because they could smell it on my breath. I absolutely have never smoked, first hand. Never even tried it. So it was disgusting and sad all at the same time.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/05/2011

Oh, I didn't think you were making the excuse Kate! Just if anyone did try and use it, suck it up would be my answer. Can't be a sissy when it comes to the heat if you live down there, right?

Yeah, it definitely falls into the realm of things I would call abusive, especially considering your child has no choice but to put up with it.

Vera - posted on 05/05/2011

I lived in the Northern Central Valley and numerous days we were well over 100.00 I know one year we were at least 113.0 and for a couple weeks it was 100 or more during the day.

I know they are talking about a smoke free bill here and I am hoping it passes!!

I guess what also gets me about it being abuse - if you give your child a toxin purposefully it is abuse but smoking around them that is proven to cause life threatening illness in some children (not all) isn't considered abuse.

It is purposefully giving them harmful chemicals though they aren't eating them they are breathing them... It's just odd to me that a smack on the bum is more illegal than something that is truly a health risk

Rosie - posted on 05/05/2011

no i don't believe it's abuse. do i think it's right? hell no. but... if it's abuse than feeding your kid anything bad for them is abuse as well.

as a person who was physically abused as a very young child, i kinda find it ridiculous that it's even put in the same catagory.

Ashley=) - posted on 05/05/2011

Its funny my foster father smoked like a trooper.Always around us.
I never once had a chest infection.I never smoked myself.My health is fantastic.Although sadly he died of cancer years after he stopped smoking.He left it way to late to stop.

Kate CP - posted on 05/05/2011

I've never heard of it getting hotter than 100 F in Cali. Depending on where you are in TX, it can get upwards of 106. That's *without* a heat index.



Now, I think y'all mistook my post as an excuse to smoke indoors or around kids. It wasn't. It isn't. But that's one reason WHY people smoke indoors. It's not a good reason, but it's a valid one: it's too frickin' hot outside.



That said, there are still establishments and areas where smoking indoors or near the building (hospitals) is prohibited. In those cases people just have to deal with the heat or not smoke.



Edited to add: There are cities in North Texas that have banned smoking in all public places. Plano is the first one that comes to mind but I know there are others.