smoking while pregnant, breastfeeding, or around your children

Savannah - posted on 06/17/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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This may make some people mad but it also upsets me as well. I used to smoke, so I can totally commiserate with a smoker. However, when I found out I was pregnant I quit immediately and haven't started back up.

So it makes me very angry when I see a woman smoking while she's pregnant or breastfeeding, and especially around kids. This includes men, too, or anyone smoking around children.

My mother smoked with both me and my sister and we were both born very premature. I ended up okay, luckily, but my mom also smoked around us. My sister is almost 24 and she has a chronic cough and can't tolerate even dust now.

When I see anyone smoking around a child it makes me very angry because everyone knows the risks of smoking. As smokers, we accept that risk and decide that it is acceptable. But what on earth gives us the right to make that choice for our children? They never chose to have Cancer. How dare we decide for them that it is ok when we all know that secondhand smoke us more harmful than firsthand? I think it's child abuse.

My thoughts.

Yours?

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21 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 06/19/2009

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Thanks for the link, i'll definately look into it tomorrow (getting late here now! lol!)
I think i may have written on that thread you were talking about!! You're right, the more people lay into you about it, the more crap you feel and you reach for your comfort.....cigarettes!!
My husband quit over a yr ago now, and he did it cold turkey and makes a big deal about how 'weak' i am. He's right of course in a way, but some people just struggle more. For me, i just imagine not having a smoke, it just seems impossible!
I will definately look into Champix tho! Fingers crossed!!
At least i'll have some support from you lovely people now!! lol!
:)

?? - posted on 06/19/2009

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No problem Sarah :) it's so hard to quit for some people. It's A LOT easier for men to quit than it is for women too. I got SO MUCH hassle from my boyfriends dad and my dad because they both "quit cold turkey and it was nothing" and if they "can do it, you can too!" and they always made me feel like I was weak and stupid and pitiful and just simply uncaring for being unable to just stop.



That is where outside influences are such a dilemma with quitting smoking. I had this debate with someone else on COM awhile ago. She basically said that any woman who can't quit or won't quit is a bad person and a bad mom and shouldn't be allowd to have children.



She would say she wasn't going to candy coat it and that she isn't going to pat them on the back for NOT quitting. She was rude and very harsh. And the way I see it, is if you tell someone they are a bad person or a bad mom for not being able to quit... it is simply counteractive. It's the same kind of thing with there being good attention and bad attention. If you commend a woman for her attempts and give her encouragement to stop without shoving the harmful facts down her throat everytime she lights up - she's going to fee a lot better about wanting to quit. If you constantly throw those harmful facts at her, all she's going to do is get down on herself and then start stressing out and then she will want a cigarette!



Anyways, that's my view on that.



Champix or Chantix or Varenicline Tartrate is available everywhere, if you are interested I would definitely suggest talking to your doctor about it. The cost might be different there than here. It's not covered by any medical insurance here but when you figure out how much you spend on smoking in a lifetime - the $300 approximately that it costs for the full 12 weeks of Champix seems like nothing lol



Here is a websites if you want to peek with some basic information on it :)

http://www.champixinfo.co.uk/

Sarah - posted on 06/19/2009

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Thankyou Jo! Really nice to hear from someone who has managed to quit and understands how not easy it is! I have full respect for people who managed it cold turkey, but when i do quit, i'm going to need help! haha!!
I don't know if you can get Champix in the UK. I've never heard of it before. I think i will look into it tho.
Thanks again for your post! Much appreciated! :)

?? - posted on 06/19/2009

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Sarah and Mary, there's no reason to be ashamed of it. We all know the health risks and all that about smoking while pregnant etc but an addiction is an addiction and there's no reason to be ashamed of it.



I started smoking when I was 12 and I smoked more and more and more as the years went on and now I am 25. When I found out I was pregnant, my sister had just had her first baby, who was born with a condition that happens to 1 in every 10,000 babies - it has a big long name - but basically her heart was underdeveloped and she would have to have heart surgery within the first 2 weeks of her life, and then again a couple months later, and again a couple months later. (She's 15 months now and has 3 heart surgeries and still has 2 more to go within the first 3 years of her life.) So I found out I was pregnant, my neice could possibly die at any moment, a beautiful lil girl I had never met because they had to be in a hospital in another part of the country becuase of the doctors there but loved more than anything - a tiny taste of the love I would have for my own baby, I had no idea how to tell my boyfriend who had flat out told me he never wanted children and I was on the verge of being jobless because the company I was working for was shutting down their store where I was managing.... so to even THINK about quitting smoking on top of dealing with all those things - was not going to happen. And, I am a complete and total worrier to boot. So, I talked to my doctor and she told me - and I quote "Don't quit. Cut down! Keep your stress levels to a minimum, cause if you try to quit on top of dealing with all that, your body is going to do more damage to your baby than having even 5 smokes a day."



I cut down to 2-3 a day while I was pregnant and then afterwards while I was breast feeding, I had 1-2 a day. By then a lot of those stressful situations had plateaued or were no longer issues. When I stopped breast feeding - I started smoking again like I used too.



And then one day... I went for a walk with my son. A 20 minute walk downtown and back. And when I got home...... I thought I was going to have a freaking heart attack!!!! lol I literally laid down on the couch wondering if I should call Devon to come home so he could watch Gabriel while I called 911 to take me to the hospital! And at that moment..... I KNEW I had to quit smoking.



So I asked my doctor and she prescribed Champix to me. It's this wonderful lil pill that costs about $25 a week that completely blocks the nicotine craving giving you the opening to break the habits, and then... you slowly go off Champix and you don't want the cigarette again! I recommend it to anyone who just can't get over the cravings and needs a lil boost to help! I know people who have smoked 10+ (myself), 35+ and even 50 years that took Champix and they no longer want/need cigarettes.



My quit day was May 16th, and I haven't had a cigarette since literally May 15 at 11:59pm LOL I stopped taking Champix after 6 weeks of using it (they suggest you use it for 12 weeks for best results), and I have no want for a cigarette. I will still sometimes catch myself thinkin "ok, smoke, then dishes" and then laugh at myself cause I don't want a smoke it's just been habit for over 10 years to think that way!



The main thing is really wanting to quit. And honestly, I don't see the harm of having 2-3 cigarettes just as your own guilty lil pleasure - especially since we give up sleeping right, eating treats, going out for drinks whenever we want, all the other lil treats life tempts us with before we have kids lol



Having an addiction to cigarettes does not make you a bad mom even remotely. The fact that you don't smoke in the house or in the car (in Canada it's illegal to smoke in the car with a child under the age of 18 now) is a clear sign that you are going out of your way to make sure your addiction doesn't affect your children as much as you can possibly help. I never did either. When I was pregnant, I would go outside for a smoke - which got me lots of nasty looks from people walking by.



Good luck to anyone who is trying to quit. And don't be ashamed of being human lol it's a waste of emotions to be shamed by something that even the strongest willed people can't shake.

Sarah - posted on 06/19/2009

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Quoting Mary:



Quoting Sarah:

Uh-oh, i'll have to be honest, because i feel i can with you guys.
I'm a smoker (hangs head in shame)
I smoked while i was pregnant, tho only 2-3 a day (i was over 20 a day when i found out)
I still smoke now.
I don't smoke in the house and i would NEVER smoke in the car.
I've tried to give up a few times, and i know it's a crap excuse, but i just don't have the willpower. I know a lot of you will probably think a bit less of me now (i feel less of myself everytime i have one!)
There's no excuse for it. :(






You are a brave girl, my friend...it is my secret shame as well :(






Probably worse for me, since I'm older, a nurse and all my other issues should have been more than sufficient motivation to quit, but for some reason, I cannot give up those last 2 a day.  I had for the 1st 6 weeks after she was born, but I had one of those no-real-sleep in over 24 hrs days, & at 2am, snagged on from the hubby (so technically, it's his fault, lol!)





thanks Mary, i did wonder whether to just not post on this thread, but i love all you guys and didn't want to lie when we've all been so honest so far!!



I'm a good mum (i think) but i'm not perfect, and smoking is a true vice of mine. Hopefully one day we'll both kick the habit eh! :)

Abby - posted on 06/19/2009

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Quoting Savannah:



Quoting Abby:

ive never smoked, so again cant say how hard it is to quit, but surely u do anything in the world to keep ur child safe and healthy.
i did everything possible to stay healthy whilst i was pregnant, it was my 21st bday when i was about 4 months gone and i had non alcoholic bucks fizz to celebrate, i also never went into crowded areas, refused to go anywhere with people smoking, and my boss put me upstairs away from the busy shop floor so i wouldnt get knocked into.
ive got friends who smoked whilst pregnant and i want to slap them and make them realise what they're doing but it's not my place to do so. x






ha ha!  funny..  I found out I was preggo two days before my 21st birthday.  We were all planning to go clubbing in Denver and have a big ol blast, but no... I spent the day munching jalapenos because they were the only thing that didn't make me nauseaous.  lol





non alcoholic bucks fizz is NOT cool he he!!!



jalapenos? seriously? altho everything made me sick up until 16 weeks, and then i wasnt hungry apart from first thing in the morning!



but jalapenos, you would not expect them not to make u sick! x

Mary - posted on 06/19/2009

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Quoting Sarah:

Uh-oh, i'll have to be honest, because i feel i can with you guys.
I'm a smoker (hangs head in shame)
I smoked while i was pregnant, tho only 2-3 a day (i was over 20 a day when i found out)
I still smoke now.
I don't smoke in the house and i would NEVER smoke in the car.
I've tried to give up a few times, and i know it's a crap excuse, but i just don't have the willpower. I know a lot of you will probably think a bit less of me now (i feel less of myself everytime i have one!)
There's no excuse for it. :(



You are a brave girl, my friend...it is my secret shame as well :(



Probably worse for me, since I'm older, a nurse and all my other issues should have been more than sufficient motivation to quit, but for some reason, I cannot give up those last 2 a day.  I had for the 1st 6 weeks after she was born, but I had one of those no-real-sleep in over 24 hrs days, & at 2am, snagged on from the hubby (so technically, it's his fault, lol!)

Sara - posted on 06/18/2009

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Ok, I'm going to be totally honest here and I really don't want to offend anyone, but as an ex-smoker I have a strong opinion about this. I think you owe to your child to give them the best start possible in life. To me, that means no drugs while pregnant. NIcotine (and God knows what else in cigarettes) is a drug. When you smoke, your baby smokes. When your baby is born, they will be addicted to cigarettes. Is that really what you want for your tiny little newborn? To go through withdrawls? I think if you want to get pregnant and you smoke you should quit. If you can't quit, then maybe you should not have a child until you can. I do not think it makes you an unfit parent, but your hurting your child every time you take a drag and it's not ok. Same goes with the breastfeeding when smoking and with smoking around your children (like in your house or in the car). It's easy when you have an addiction to make excuses, and quitting is tough. But, you can do it, I know first hand, if you really want to. I know i'm super judgemental on this topic, but I can't help it. I don't think it makes anyone a bad person, but I don't think people think about the impact it can have on a child. Hell, if you really thought about the impact it had on you, you wouldn't do it either.

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2009

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Quoting Savannah:

oh Sarah, we still love you. Cigarettes are tough to give up. There are days that I would still just die to have one. Doggon blasted things!


Thanks Savannah!! It's soooooo tough! I'm nowhere near as bad as i used to be, don't have the time for a start!! :)

Savannah - posted on 06/18/2009

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Quoting Catherine:



Quoting Savannah:




Quoting Abby:

ive never smoked, so again cant say how hard it is to quit, but surely u do anything in the world to keep ur child safe and healthy.
i did everything possible to stay healthy whilst i was pregnant, it was my 21st bday when i was about 4 months gone and i had non alcoholic bucks fizz to celebrate, i also never went into crowded areas, refused to go anywhere with people smoking, and my boss put me upstairs away from the busy shop floor so i wouldnt get knocked into.
ive got friends who smoked whilst pregnant and i want to slap them and make them realise what they're doing but it's not my place to do so. x








ha ha!  funny..  I found out I was preggo two days before my 21st birthday.  We were all planning to go clubbing in Denver and have a big ol blast, but no... I spent the day munching jalapenos because they were the only thing that didn't make me nauseaous.  lol









I found out I was pregnant with my baby about 2 weeks after a massive birthday night out with my friends .... spent the first few weeks worrying I'd drowned him in Vodka.





Too funny!  I did that with this new pregnancy.  I actually thought that I was having a 3 day hangover (I was like, man, I am such a lightweight!) and then found out I was pregnant.  I was FREAKED!  I mean, first time drinking in 2 and a half years.  What were the odds!?

Savannah - posted on 06/18/2009

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oh Sarah, we still love you. Cigarettes are tough to give up. There are days that I would still just die to have one. Doggon blasted things!

Savannah - posted on 06/18/2009

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Quoting Abby:

ive never smoked, so again cant say how hard it is to quit, but surely u do anything in the world to keep ur child safe and healthy.
i did everything possible to stay healthy whilst i was pregnant, it was my 21st bday when i was about 4 months gone and i had non alcoholic bucks fizz to celebrate, i also never went into crowded areas, refused to go anywhere with people smoking, and my boss put me upstairs away from the busy shop floor so i wouldnt get knocked into.
ive got friends who smoked whilst pregnant and i want to slap them and make them realise what they're doing but it's not my place to do so. x



ha ha!  funny..  I found out I was preggo two days before my 21st birthday.  We were all planning to go clubbing in Denver and have a big ol blast, but no... I spent the day munching jalapenos because they were the only thing that didn't make me nauseaous.  lol

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2009

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Uh-oh, i'll have to be honest, because i feel i can with you guys.
I'm a smoker (hangs head in shame)
I smoked while i was pregnant, tho only 2-3 a day (i was over 20 a day when i found out)
I still smoke now.
I don't smoke in the house and i would NEVER smoke in the car.
I've tried to give up a few times, and i know it's a crap excuse, but i just don't have the willpower. I know a lot of you will probably think a bit less of me now (i feel less of myself everytime i have one!)
There's no excuse for it. :(

Abby - posted on 06/18/2009

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ive never smoked, so again cant say how hard it is to quit, but surely u do anything in the world to keep ur child safe and healthy.

i did everything possible to stay healthy whilst i was pregnant, it was my 21st bday when i was about 4 months gone and i had non alcoholic bucks fizz to celebrate, i also never went into crowded areas, refused to go anywhere with people smoking, and my boss put me upstairs away from the busy shop floor so i wouldnt get knocked into.

ive got friends who smoked whilst pregnant and i want to slap them and make them realise what they're doing but it's not my place to do so. x

[deleted account]

I hate to see parents smoking in the same house or car as their kids. I also think pregnant women should try to quit. Even if they still fall into temptation now and then its still better that being a full-time smker for nine months. Peds reccomend that you should avoid smoking or cut down when you BF, but the level of chemicals passed through the milk is very low so they still say breast is best even if you somke. I know this because I lapsed back into smoking when my son was 3 months old and my doctor told me not to stop breastfeeding and gave me the reasons why.



I quit when I found out I was expecting and lapsed back into it several times when my son was young. I never smoked in the same building or car as my son and cut down to about 3-5 a day when I was BFing. I know I don't deserve any medals for it, but I knew other moms who didn't care about second hand smoke. I even knew one mom who used to hold her new premature baby in one hand and smoke with the other in her house. So I'm not the best of the best, but by no means the worst of the worst either. Anyway, I have been smoke free for about a year now.

Jessica - posted on 06/17/2009

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I have a had a long fickle relationship with cigarettes. When I got prego with my 1st I quit immediately, started up later after he was about 1.5 and was done nursing. I tried to quit with my 2nd and for some reason i couldn't I would have 2-3/day. I quit w/ my 3rd and again started up again later. I tried to quit again with my 4th and did until something really emotionally jarring happened and I started up again keeping things in moderation. I am prego again and I actually quit before I knew I was preggers and I haven't had one since. I know it was stupid and I feel guilty all the times I think back on them.

When my 1st was younger I lived in an apt where we smoked and he started having alot of breathing problems, we moved out and have never smoked around him or the others (with the exception of my idiocy during pregnancy). When we would smoke it was always outside and never in the car.

I think the reason I had such a problem was that my husband was a smoker and never had a problem with it. I know there is no real excuse and even though I did it it pisses me off when I see people do it because I realize I was an idiot. My children were all over 8 lbs born on time and the only time anyone of them had a problem was when my 1st was in smoky environments. After we took him out of that environment He has never had another breathing problem and he has never had any cough other than a cold.



I believe it is wrong and I wish I never would have done it but hindsight is 20/20 so all I can do is be thankful that I have been blessed with very healthy children despite my bad choice.

Ez - posted on 06/17/2009

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I used to smoke, but stopped when I became pregnant. I don't yet consider myself a non-smoker, because I still want one most days. I see myself as a smoker who is choosing not to for the sake of my child. It is concern for her health, rather than my own, that stops me from starting again. I simply refuse to expose her to my bad habit. But it's not easy :( There have been a few very stressful days when I've come very close. But I agree with you Savannah - I may choose to take the risk to smoke, but I have no right to make that choice for my daughter. And my determination not to smoke became even more important recently when she spent 2 days in hospital on oxygen with bronchiolitis. I could not imagine the guilt I would have felt if I knew I'd contributed to that.

Savannah - posted on 06/17/2009

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Quoting Chantel:

I agree with you. I hate smoking but then, I've never smoked either. My dad smoked and I hated it. I just don't understand the lure. It's so disgusting to me! And I hate seeing a pregnant woman smoking or someone smoking with their little ones right there breathing in all the smoke. Something that really gets me is my brother and his girlfriend. They have 2 kids, they both smoke and one of the kids has asthma and allergies. My dad died recently due to smoking and my brother was broken hearted but STILL won't quit!! He just doesn't get that he could end up doing the same thing to his kids! It drives me crazy!!



Absolutely!  One of my good friends has a son with terrible asthma and she does not care about smoking around him.  In fact, she flies off the handle if anyone suggests that she shouldn't smoke around a kid who has a hard time breathing, even his DOCTOR!    My Gradfather died of lung cancer also but no one seems to care no matter how many people die from it.



Sorry to hear about your dad.  It is hard to lose a parent, even when you know that it will happen one day. xx

Chantel - posted on 06/17/2009

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I agree with you. I hate smoking but then, I've never smoked either. My dad smoked and I hated it. I just don't understand the lure. It's so disgusting to me! And I hate seeing a pregnant woman smoking or someone smoking with their little ones right there breathing in all the smoke. Something that really gets me is my brother and his girlfriend. They have 2 kids, they both smoke and one of the kids has asthma and allergies. My dad died recently due to smoking and my brother was broken hearted but STILL won't quit!! He just doesn't get that he could end up doing the same thing to his kids! It drives me crazy!!

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