SO MAD!!!!

Morgan - posted on 10/22/2010 ( 40 moms have responded )

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Ok so I just came across a post in young moms 20-30 that was talking about sexy halloween costumes, I do agree with the fact that some of these costumes are over the top and I would never let my DD even try one on, but I am so tired of hearing about how these parents are going to wonder one day why their daughters are pregnant or being abused!!!
I dont get it, do these people really think that all these poor little girls that have been or are being abused are dressing like hoes?? It makes me so ANGRY that people think because kids are dressing up as snookie that thats why there are pediophiles and rapists what about 100 years ago when these things never excisted little girls were still getting pregnant and abused!!!!!
little Suzy can dress like a slut and make it threw life wonderfully while little Mary can dress in a hazmat suit and be abused ITS SCARY BUT ITS LIFE we cant excuse the behaviors of these people by saying "oh well she was asking for it" cause most of the time its just not true.
Uggg Sorry about my rant.

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Charlie - posted on 10/23/2010

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They had an article about a little girl in Australia whos photos had been circulated around the world in a peadophile ring , hers were the most circulated and paid for, you know what she was wearing .
Cute little girl dress , long socks , pigtails and very childlike poses !

These animals will do it reguardless of what a child wears and judging by the popularity of this young girls photos being sold its girls that look like little children that gets them going , scary huh !

And yeah although i dont agree with dressing a child like a hooker i also think its people who say these are the cause of abuse that give peadophiles excuses to act the way they do , its exactly the same as saying a rape victem is at fault because they wore a certain item of clothing ,

ITS NEVER THE VICTIMS FAULT !

Jodi - posted on 10/22/2010

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I don't like revealing clothes period, I don't like them on 80 year olds, 40 year olds, 20 year olds, teenagers or children, but more than that...why is a young child being exposed to TV programming that Snookis is involved in? She isn't exactly a wholesome character on Nickelodeon or Nickjr, the crap I see her in include sex, alcohol, swearing and other inapproriate content, same with Lady Gaga (she was mentioned in the Young Mom's thread) music videos, I just dno't find them approrpriate for children under their teenage years, the California Girls video (again, mentioned in the original Young Mom's thread) I can't say for sure as I havn't seen it, I would be more concerned that my daughter was picking up their behaviors or finding those behaviors acceptable, ie, drinking, swearing, acting in an overtly sexual manner etc etc. More than just the length of the costume that concerns me in some of these areas, but the story behind the costume too...just my take on it.

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Paedophiles - attracted to children. I can't say I've heard of many cases where a paedophile has gone for the slutty dressed. They target the most innocent looking!

Amie - posted on 10/23/2010

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I agree with Laura and Kati on this front. Halloween costumes are not a big deal, it's the adults that are putting ideas into their kids heads.

Our oldest (10 years) is going as an evil fairy this year. When we brought the costume home my husband about had a bird. For a lot of the same reasons posted here. He thought it was inappropriate for her age. (It falls about mid thigh, has a corset stitching on the front to make it look like one and tank top straps on top; it's all one piece) I also bought her mary jane shoes to wear with it, a black long sleeved shirt and black tights. So she'll be warm. It doesn't really show anything though, it's more the "appearance" she'll give "others" my husband was having a bird about.

I bought one size bigger so it would fall mid thigh; putting it into the teenage category of costumes. Any of the costumes for her age range, do not fit, so in essence would be inappropriate anyway because they would be too low on her top and too short on the bottom. Buying a teenage costume fixed this issue.

She also does not view it as "sexy", "alluring" or any other ADULT adjective that could be tacked onto the costume. She's an evil fairy and that's where it ends. I was not going to put ideas into her head because other adults have hang ups. She does indeed know what these words are and mean, she also does not associate them with herself because she is a child and still thinks like one.

My answer would have been a flat out no and I would have picked out an outfit if she wanted the one she got because it was "sexy". =/ I'd be horrified if ANY pre-teen picked out their own clothing specifically for this purpose.

Isobel - posted on 10/23/2010

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"Parents are not parents ne more"

what would you suggest that implies?

Listen, I agree with you on most fronts. My daughter certainly doesn't wear make up or tight clothes, she doesn't know anything about Kati Perry other than the fact that her hair is blue, and she probably wouldn't wear what most of the people here are talking about.

The thing is though...I think it's wrong to judge the parents who think that dressing their child in "fashionable" clothing is appropriate doesn't mean that they are not parents...trying to be their kids' friends or any of the other things EVERYBODY has said here.

If my daughter wanted to dress as a hula girl for halloween and only wear a grass skirt and a coconut bra I would make sure the bra was securely fastened and put tights on under the skirt.

Halloween is not a big deal...I was never a hooker (I said I could've been cause my mom didn't really seem to care about costumes).

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Rosie - posted on 10/23/2010

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i was a hooker-2 years in a row!! lol! seriously- i was dressed more like a punk rocker, but still called myself a hooker, and my mom didn't do shit to fix what i called myself. my mother is seriously the best mother ever. i may be biased :) but she never hit me, i never got in trouble, she wasn't my "friend", but she let it be known i could talk to her about whatever, i was responsible, i paid for half of my first car, all of the insurance and gas, i didn't just get shit handed to me, and i didn't whore around when i was a teenager. there's sooooo much more involved with what is wrong with some in todays society than someones choice of a halloween costume.

Jessica - posted on 10/23/2010

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Well I want to start by saying that I have never once said that I am a better parent! In my OPINION I disagree with the way parents think it is ok to allow their children to act and dress inappropriatly b/c they think if they allow their children to do what they want they are going to come to them and tell them everything that is going on in their lives! I may be slightly extreme and I don't know what it is like to have a daughter even BUT I know what it is like to be a female and to be a daughter. Now I have a 5 and a half year old son and I will have a daughter in February. I am JUST as concerned about what my son does and whether or not he behaving appropriatly as I would my daughter! I also didn't say that those women that dress like their teenage daughters are bad parents...I said that they are afraid of getting OLD and that they want to befriend their children! Not once did I say that made them bad parents. I think it is a lack of parenting yes! BUT THAT IS MY OPINION and I am allowed to have that! I am sure not everyone agrees with my parenting, but guess what I DON'T CARE! I think instead of arguing about what we THINK pedophiles think we should be talking about the real problem at hand. Who ever said that it doesn't matter how you dress or how you act or what your parents act like was right! Things can happen to any person who dress is and acts in any way BUT the children allowed to dress provactively are putting the WRONG idea and giving the WRONG image to boys their age and older. I am sorry all I wanted was to say that I never once said those people were bad parents...it is my opinion and I have a right to disagree with someone else's parenting. I am not going to walk up to someone I don't know and say I think you are F-ed up and I think I'm a better parent then you! I am just going to disagree and go on doing what I do as a parent

Tah - posted on 10/23/2010

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i concur.....i said this in another post the other day....i told my son, you don't have to like me now, i'll take my flowers at your grad school graduation....I am here to raise you not grow up with you, when i pushed and you came out, i become a parent..at 16..but a parent no less, We have a relationship where we talk..sometimes i do the talking and he has to do the listening...



.LIke today...my niece came over last night....let me start by saying that i worked the night before last and never went to sleep except for 1.5 hours yesterday..so basically by the time Rylan had stuck a bead in his nose at 10pm...i had been up for 24 hours..i was so tired i had my sister come drop us off at the ER since i my husband was meeting us there because i didn't trust myself to drive....anywho...after i got home, posted a little bit i literally passed out...i woke up to a disaster zone.....dishes not in the dishwasher, sneakers and blankets in the living room..just everything that makes my blood boil...



well i was going to get up..take the children, buy them clothes and sneakers today..i looked around my house....put my wallet down....picked up my sweats and went to the gym with the husband....i am now on my way to karate class, i might treat myself to something on the way home and i am going to sleep for work..if i am the only one doing what i am supposed to, then i am the only getting rewarded, my son is upset..he's mad and doesn't want to talk to me right now...how can i put this...SO WHAT!!!!!.....he will need me first trust me....and he goes through these little phases and he knows they don't phase me because i have to be his parent...not his friend....



we joke and play, but he knows where the line is because i drew it...showed it to him and showed him what is on the other side, it's the mom with fire shooting out of her mouth and standing in the ready position so he more often than not stays on his side...

Isobel - posted on 10/23/2010

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I think that just because a parent holds different values than you and couldn't care what happens ON HALLOWEEN, doesn't make them less of a parent than you.

Jenn - posted on 10/23/2010

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I agree that too many Moms want to be the friend. I often say that I'm a mean Mommy, but not because I am really mean, I'm just more old school and say what I mean and mean what I say. My Mum never tried to by our "friend", though now that we're adults we ARE friends because we respect her for actually being a great Mum to us as kids.

Jessica - posted on 10/23/2010

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It's alright...I get excited and do things like that too! But it is SO TRUE!!! Parents are not parents ne more. AND the worst part is that SOCIETY THINKS IT IS OK! Omg how many mom's do you see in the grocery store dressed in hip hugging pants and low cut shirts and look almost identical to their daughters!! and then their daughters are wearing tiny little short shorts that they paid probably $50 for and you are like where did the rest of those shorts go!!! The mom's want to be their friend but they also want to feel young! Society is F-ed up! That is all...it is all a matter of what we see every day in those tabloid magazines and see on TV every day and women are too afraid of getting OLD! I am sorry I could go on about this forever!

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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"So many parents seem to care more about being their child's friend rather then their parent"

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!!!! I've said that so many times in posts before.. I LOVE IT!!!! It's so true anymore. Parents don't seem to want to PARENT anymore. They'd just rather be the friend b/c they think the kids will be more open. That's almost always never the case, though. I would think parents would get that by now with society turning out the way it is these days. You can be a friend AND a parent. But parenting should ALWAYS come first. I kept saying this a while back.. If you don't want to PARENT your kids, don't become a parent.

Jessica - posted on 10/23/2010

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I just really feel the need to say that no one KNOWS what gets these creeps going! It is all ideas and opinions and no of us really KNOW! There isn't a thing in the world that justifies what they do! I don't care if it is an "illness" or whatever people call it. It is disgusting and pathetic! The orginal post was about how ridiculous those costumes are! I think that there is a HUGE lack of parenting going on EVERYWHERE! First of all why are these young girls watching those shows and watching Katy Perry Videos!! I think what needs to be talked about is how ridiculous parents are being! So many parents seem to care more about being their child's friend rather then their parent. I see it time after time and it isn't always both parents...usually the dad tries to put his foot down and say no but there are too many mom's trying to befriend their children! Mom's are the ones taking their children shopping...mom's are the ones getting them up and having them get ready for school...and most of the time seeing them off to school (ALRIGHT I know that there are a lot of dad's doing those things too, but how many of those girls do you think dress proper when dad takes them and then change their clothing when they get to school?) My mom was always the one that took me shopping and if my dad did he didn't know what he was doing ne way so it didn't help ne. Now if I ever wore something that my mom found inappropriate it would disappear! and she wouldn't ever know what happened to it!

I don't know I just think it is ridiculous that everyone thinks that they know what gets a freaking pedophile off! They just freaking like children people! AND they are nasty and disgusting creatures!

Jenn - posted on 10/23/2010

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Well, I do agree that I wouldn't put my little girls in a "sexy costume" but it wouldn't be for reasons of not wanting to turn on a pedophile, as I firmly believe sick people like pedophiles and rapists thrive on power and control over innocent victims. What a healthy individual might find "sexy" (obviously I mean in an adult not a child) would mean nothing to a sicko.

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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I just wanted to be clear on something, b/c I don't think I've made it clear in any of my earlier posts.



I agree that it does not give the sexual offenders a right to do anything.

Tah - posted on 10/23/2010

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i don't think it gives pedophiles and rapist the right to do anything to these children, but i don't think it is age appropriate..they have plenty of times to show their goods and be older, why would i give them the clothes and tools to do so. Somethings need to be covered and that is how i feel. I don't think these girls should be scantily clad or dressed like people who do so...like christina said..the innocence is being lost....

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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For some people, Jenn. For others it is about the sexual aspect. Why would someone even want to put their little girls in a slutty costume and chance it? Their innocence is getting lost at such a young age anymore.

Jenn - posted on 10/23/2010

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Exactly!! As I already pointed out - it isn't about the sexual aspect as it is about POWER AND CONTROL!

Tracey - posted on 10/23/2010

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So what is the alternative, should we all wear burkahs to stop men attacking us because showing dressing slutty means we are asking for it?

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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I get what you're saying.. BUT by little girls dressing like that, one can't help but wonder if it makes the whole situation worse. You know what I mean??

Hannah - posted on 10/22/2010

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I have worked in retail for 10+ yrs and have seen lots of girls dressed up way too young....but the all time kicker I saw was when two girls aged at approximatly 11 yrs old thought they were being "sexy" by wearing low cut tops and had "playboy bunny" temporary tattoos in their cleavage line....These girls were pretty much flat as a door....Its sickening really and yes annoying!!

Jessica - posted on 10/22/2010

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Alright I went and read some of the things in that post b/c I don't remember ne of that, but I stopped reading everyone's comments b/c I stopped caring. I do see what you mean now. I was the first person to comment on that post and it really drives me crazy the way that young girls are allowed to dress. Now I don't agree that it is the reason for pediophiles and rapists and I disagree that it is justifying them. ALSO I wasn't always the best kid but my parents were dang strict and were up my rear all the time about my school, how I dressed, EVERY aspect of my life and I thought my life would be nothing less then what my parents expected of me and what they thought was "perfect"! Well I was wrong! I got pregnant at 17 AND I didn't even dress like a dang skank!! It doesn't matter what your child dresses like!!! NOW I don't agree with the way of dress of young girls these day and I don't agree with the attitude and behavior of girls these days either. The thing is that you really have to make sure that your child is safe and can take care of themselves. Why not give your child a cell phone so that they can take care of themselves and why not get your child enrolled in some self defense classes! I really believe that parents and schools need to get more involved and they should teach self defense in the schools!!! I talk to my son about strangers all the time! MY SON...you know why b/c no one has seemed to mention that their are pediophiles that are into little boys and what do those little boys do to "provoke" those nasty peole! Do none of those people realize that there are just as many boys abducted and abused and raped as there are little girls!!! It isn't really in the matter that your child dress that I think gets those people going honestly I have NO IDEA and I think it is disgusting. I don't think that a pediophile cares what the child has on they care more about getting their clothing off. I think that dressing the way those young girls do puts them in bad situations tho. I really do believe that and that it is more about getting the wrong kind of attention for boys their own age! and boys just a few years older then them too. I just don't agree with it at all. BUT also not all of those mom's there were saying that way of dress IS justifiable for those nasty men. It all started with one person who didn't care and some other mom's that followed suit b/c someone else said it first. I DO believe that it gives guys the wrong idea. There are young girls using their bodies and their looks to convince MEN that they are older and you don't ever know how old any of these girls really are ne more! I also feel b/c I know someone has a daughter under the age of 12 that dresses in as tight and revealing clothing as girls that I have seen at the bars and dance clubs...walking through neighborhood that I deem bad...and I don't feel safe walking fully clothed and appropriate. I WORRY about her daughters safety and what could happen to her if someone saw her walking like that and got the wrong idea! Her mom doesn't seem to think it is a big deal at all and she will be walking alone at night pretty close to downtown. If I were to let my child dress like that and something happened to her I would really REALLY wonder if it had to do with me letting her go out like that! That is just all how I feel!

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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I don't think it's making excuses for pedophiles at all nor am I blaming children for being abused. That's like saying a girl deserves to be raped because of the clothes she wears. It's not true, however it IS true that you're leaving yourself vulnerable.

Jenn - posted on 10/22/2010

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Yeah, I don't think it's really appropriate for little girls to be dressed like hoes, but at the same time I totally disagree that it's attracting pedophiles and rapists. Those types of people are all about the power and control that they can have over someone, it's not about a sexual attraction.

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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Are we talking about sexy Halloween costumes or are we talking about dressing young girls in regular clothes, there is a huge difference.

Morgan - posted on 10/22/2010

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Thanks Laura

"I think that being a parent and keeping an eye on your kids as well as an honest line of communication with them will have a lot more to do with them ending up abused than the length of their skirt."

thats what I was trying to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not about to Argue with you Dana, there are plenty of creeps out there that arent into that shit, most creeps prey on children for a reason CAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE CHILDREN!!!!!!!

But that aside my point is only that we need to stop making excuses for abusers.

Edited to add

And also my point about the sandals thing was anything I dress my child in can Feul the fire to someone!!!

Isobel - posted on 10/22/2010

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I personally can't remember the last time I saw a skirt that wasn't a mini (meaning the tip reaches their fingers when their arms are by their side).

I think that a lot of you still have little ones and will cool off about clothing when your kids start to grow...my daughter doesn't wear make up, she doesn't wear tight clothes, but she wears shorts and she wears skirts...I don't allow those tank tops with spaghetti straps...those bug me.

Anyhoo...I think that being a parent and keeping an eye on your kids as well as an honest line of communication with them will have a lot more to do with them ending up abused than the length of their skirt.

I'm not going to shave my daughter's head to make sure an abuser who likes long hair doesn't attack her...that's letting the inmates rule the asylum.

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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Oh come on really? Yes, there might be some freak out there that likes a kid dressed up as elmo but, I can pretty much be SURE that the majority like ones that are half naked. Or dressed to look like they're 25 not 5. If your daughter was abused by someone who has a foot fetish and she wore sandals then yeah, it's probably the fact that he could SEE her feet that made him gravitate towards her. Yes, attitude can make someone a slut, so can the clothes they wear.

Morgan - posted on 10/22/2010

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But how do you know whats a turn on for someone else? how do you know dressing you child up like elmo is not a turn on for some creep? some creeps have foot fetishes so if my daughter gets abused by a foot fetish creep is it because she wore sandals? I think we have to remember it has alot to do with additude, Additude makes sluts not clothes

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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I disagree. Yes, any child is at risk but, throwing your child into something that is going to be a turn on to someone is asking for more trouble.

Morgan - posted on 10/22/2010

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why is it that we think dressing like that is attracting Pedophiles? like I said I would never let my child wear a miniskirt at 10 but I also think that those pedophiles are looking at your little wolf too!!!!!!
Not all abusers/pedophiles are even into that stuff most are praying on children who look like chidren, thats what gets them off, if they wanted little hookers they could pay for it!!!!
My point is just that people get abused everyday looking like hookers doent make you more of a target for abuse, and I stand by what I said you could raise a pefect daughter who gets As and wears sweat pants and hoodies everyday, but she is still at as much risk as the little girl in the miniskirt and tank top.

Dana - posted on 10/22/2010

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Eh, I get the point. When your child dresses like that it will attract those who are pedophiles and it is sexualizing them.

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Oh, neither would I. My almost 9 year olds are going as a good witch (nice, longish black dress) and a cowgirl (jeans and white tank top). ;)

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Yes, rape and abuse happened before, teen pregnancy happened before. But considering the fact that Halloween is probably heaven to a child molester, I would not send my girls in a slutty little costume. My 5 year old girl wants to be a warewolf and thats great.



I guess to me its kind of like fueling a fire or could be.

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No one is arguing that Liz, but if that little 10 year old gets raped.... it is NOT the fault of the clothes. It's the fault of the creep that raped her. I think that is all that Morgan is complaining about here and I completely agree w/ her.

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The fact that very young girls are dressing like hoes is stupid. A 10 year old should not be wearing a miniskirt!

Rosie - posted on 10/22/2010

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i completely agree. i think it's one thing to question why a mother would want to dress ehr daughter like that, and another to associate it with a child becoming pregnant or getting raped. seems like completely different things here.

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