Soap in the mouth for swearing?

Tara - posted on 03/10/2012 ( 195 moms have responded )

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Do you or do you know anyone who still does this?

I recently overheard a conversation between two moms who I had thought were a little more progressive with their parenting styles. One was telling the other that last week her 6 year old child said "Oh my GOD" and how she promptly got a bar of soap and had her child bit on it, then lick it several times "just so she wouldn't forget the taste".

The other mom replied that she used liquid dish soap cause "It's easier to just hold their face and shove the tip in and squirt away!"



Seriously I was shocked that people still do this, this is something my mother would have had done to her in the 50's and 60's not something I expected to see in 2012!!!

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[deleted account]

Am I the only one who doesn't understand why we would punish our kids for saying certain words?

They're just words, and if we use them ourselves, there is no reason our children should not use them. It's not like they are harmful.



If J drops a rock on his toe and says "Damn!" it's no different than him saying "Turkey!" In that context, they both mean the same thing, so it doesn't matter and doesn't warrant discipline IMO.



Now, if J used a word or set of words in a harmful manner, to hurt someone's feelings, I could see correcting the behavior, but even then, the issue is not that he used certain words, but HOW and WHY he used them.

Most of the time, when kids use those words like that, they are trying to get a point across. The parent would be wiser to listen to what the kid is saying in context and address THAT problem. Forget about the offensive language, as it is just a by product of the deeper issue at hand--fix that, and the language will go away.

Krista - posted on 03/20/2012

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Exactly. It's all about time and place. I loathe it when people are out in a public venue and every second word is a swear word. It really DOES make them appear to be trashy. However, I am definitely a fan of a well-placed swear word, if it is not in an inappropriate venue.



With regards to my child, I will dissuade him from swearing, until he's older and able to learn how to turn it on and off, and to know when it is appropriate and when it is not. And at no point will swear-based insults be tolerated. So yes, if he hurts himself and hollers "FUCK!", I'm not going to chastise him. But if he tells me to fuck off? Let's just say that he better hope that his feet can run as fast as his mouth just did.

Kate CP - posted on 03/20/2012

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"Kate CP Capeheart, perhaps you are confused because you are uneducated? How about minors drinking alcohol? We know kids do it, but we don't want to see them drinking. Maybe you do, but most adults don't. The police know that minors drink, but they don't go out of their way to catch kids drinking. If they see a minor drinking, of course they will take action. It is like that. I hope you are educated enough to understand what I am saying. "



Okay, first of all, thanks for the insult. Great way to start my day. Second of all, that's the dumbest comparison I have ever heard. Police DO go out of their way to find minors drinking alcohol and they arrest them and whoever supplied them with the alcohol. But maybe you're just too busy being all pissed off about swearing to notice? I don't let my kids drink (obviously, they're 6 and 1) but when they're old enough to consume alcohol in their teens I sure as hell won't be telling them "Oh, it's okay to do as long as no one sees you doing it". What kind of message is that sending a kid? That's beyond stupid. That's reckless. Just because you're all peachy with sticking your head in the sand doesn't make it okay.



Do I swear around my kids? I try not to but it's a hard habit to break. My kids know what swear words are and they know they aren't appropriate to say in front of ANY ONE. THAT is the message you SHOULD be trying to send, Jerusha. Or maybe...you're just too "uneducated" to understand fucking logic.

Jodi - posted on 03/20/2012

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Pearl, when I said that swearing makes one seem less intelligent, I meant excessive swearing. And a little swearing, especially when young, can lead to excessive swearing. I do not think that just because someone swears that they are in fact less intelligent...but they are presenting themselves that way to me. I was raised to articulate myself in a polite way in any company, that does not include dropping the f-bomb every other word. Swearing CAN be used effectively to emphasize something, to exagerate something, and be useful, appropriate and not make me think you're speaking a way that would reflect poorly on your intelligence. But yes, when someone is throwing a curse word into every single sentence, it makes me think they don't have an adequate enough vocabularly to fill in the blanks appropriately, so fall back on curse words. Swear words have their place, they have their time, IMO, never for a child, only for adults. And for adults, only in the right company and the right circumstances, and really, only in moderation. If someone swears left and right, I'm not likely to keep hanging out with them.

Johnny - posted on 03/20/2012

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The difference between shit and ouch. If you've dropped a can of tomatoes (the large one) on your toe, you say shit if you think you broke it and ouch if it'll just leave a bruise ;-)



The utilization of a well placed swear word is about emphasis. The only people I ever hear suggesting that it is a sign of breeding and education are people who are not really all that well-educated and want other people to think they are classy. Or people mentally stuck in a Leave it to Beaver episode. In literature and polite adult conversation, the very occasionally placed curse can be used for emphasis.



I do not really want to hear young people swearing left, right and center. I will discipline my child if she uses curse words inappropriately and she knows better. If she breaks her leg, I won't comment on hearing the f-bomb. If she's using it to make unpleasant comments on the girl in the next locker at school, there will be consequences. And those certainly won't consist of washing her mouth out with soap, lol. If she can use those words in an appropriate context, such as refering to a female dog as a bitch or to the war in Afghanistan as FUBARed. I'm unlikely to take issue.

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Megan - posted on 07/06/2013

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It is considered child abuse because all of the chemicals that are found in them

Susan - posted on 05/12/2013

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Yes. It's something a mother would have done in the '50's. But look at the kids back then. For the most part respectful, polite, courteous.

Maybe we need a little more of what parents did in the 50's and 60's.

Gianna - posted on 05/11/2013

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Soap in the mouth is a big no no for me. Never did that to my children when they were younger, never will now. My husband found different and better consequences. My mom and dad didn't put soap in my mouth either. I always think to myself, would I want soap in my mouth? I know if I wouldn't, they wouldn't.

Angela - posted on 05/11/2013

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Years ago, the soap treatment was a punishment for anything "bad" that came out of the mouth. So cursing, swearing, telling lies and filthy inappropriate talk - all addressed with soap.

I never had the soap treatment. I was beaten and thrashed within an inch of my life. I could have weathered the soap treatment easily, indeed welcomed it. I would have also preferred it to a time out. A swift punishment with no real pain or anguish or attack on my personal dignity. Not boring and time-consuming like a time-out. Or like writing "lines".

All any individual needs to do to get rid of the soap taste is a good brush of the teeth then a flush around with mouthwash.

It might well be classed as abuse but anyone who has been excessively spanked would take this punishment quite stoically.

[deleted account]

Your shocked, really? I us it and have several friends that use soap or hot sauce like Tabasco to make a point.



I agree with the other mom in the conversation, liquid soap are so much easier to use to get a proper quantity of soap in to the childs mouth.

Julianne - posted on 08/31/2012

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I am not talking extreme situations. My mother used this as a punishment and even just a few drops, made me vomit. I felt sick and had no appetite for days.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/30/2012

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I've said it a few times, my kids have eatten soap, so instead I have them eat my husband's cooking. Now that is abuse.

Kristi - posted on 08/30/2012

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There is a big difference between soap bubbles and the pure concentration of a bar of soap or a couple of drops of the liquid. I would wager 99% of people recognize the difference. Children certainly do, at least mine did. But, nobody has to do anything they don't agree with. I don't remember if I've said it in this thread so I will say it now, different strokes for different folks. This has surely gotten tiresome, as Dove said, it just won't die.

Dove - posted on 08/29/2012

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Yeah, I seriously felt like I was going to puke for well over a half an hour... it was major misery that I wouldn't want to risk inflicting on my child... and how would you (general you) know until it was too late. Sure, you could give them a lick and nothing would happen... or you could give them a lick and spend the next few hours cleaning up puke all over the house and comforting a miserable child that you caused. I just couldn't risk that. ;)

Sherri - posted on 08/29/2012

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Well for most Dove it simply tastes badly I have accidentally licked my finger when I had some soap on it. There simply wasn't even enough to make a fly sick did it taste disgusting hell yes. Did I ever make that mistake again Hell no.



Now I don't even use this as punishment for my kids. But a simple drop or taste is not going to in 99% of kids make them sick, taste gross yup but sick no.

Dove - posted on 08/29/2012

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Considering how sick one accidental lick of watered down dish soap made me feel.... I will call it abusive. I would never intentionally inflict that kind of feeling on my child.



And if they eat soap... how would it be a punishment?



Of course, those are the same two arguments I had at the beginning of this post that just will not die. ;)

Jodi - posted on 08/28/2012

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So if the soap doesn't bother them (i.e. they eat more than that when they bathe), why do it? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Kristi - posted on 08/28/2012

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Jodi--



Never said they weren't entitled to an opinion. IMO, calling a couple of licks off a bar of soap or a drop of liquid from your finger abuse is dramatic. As I stated, taking this measure to the extremes would be considered abuse, IMO. I'm glad I don't live where ever it is that this would be considered abuse, the way many of the women, including myseld, on here are describing, not shoving a bar of soap half way down a kid's throat or squirting liquid soap into his/her mouth. For Pete's sake, they eat more bubbles of soap when they bathe than what I put on their tongues. ; )

Sherri - posted on 08/28/2012

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Julianne you are talking extreme situations where a child drank an entire bottle of liquid soap or an entire bar of soap.



These woman are saying two drops or a taste of the bar so not even the same.

Julianne - posted on 08/28/2012

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washing_out...

""Additionally, soaps and detergents can have potentially harmful results, especially if swallowed, including vomiting, diarrhea, irritation of the lining of the mouth and digestive tract, and in rare instances, pulmonary aspiration.""



Why would doing this to a child not be considered abuse?

Jodi - posted on 08/28/2012

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Ah, ok, you are reading the most recent page. I looked at the first page as in the oldest, LOL.



Anyway, everyone is entitled to their varied opinions. Doesn't make it "oh-so-dramatic" because actually, in some places it would be legally considered abuse.

Kristi - posted on 08/27/2012

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Jodi--Page 1 (I have my pages set up newest to oldest)



Jane Robson--That would definitely be classed as child abuse...



Kristy Park--its abuse



Little Miss--But I would never torture them like that anyway.



Carmen Ely--That's horrible. I would never punish any child like that.



Jodi Zippity Do--Never punish a child that harshly



That's a bit more than pointless and unecessary. But that's just my opinion.

Jodi - posted on 08/27/2012

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I didn't see too many people call it abuse. I saw a lot say it was pointless and unnecessary and they wouldn't do it to their kids.

Kristi - posted on 08/27/2012

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I only read 1 page of this but I have to laugh at the oh-so-dramatic outcrys of abuse. Aside from what Megan said about the child being severely allergic to it, do "you" honestly think a lick or two off a bar of soap is going to damage children? It does not. I have used it when my children, step included, were younger. I used a bar or the liquid. I put a drop or two on my finger and wiped it around their lips. I didn't grab a bar of soap at the mention of God or even "shit" the first few times around but I did use it. I was more apt to use it when one of my stepdaughters kept screaming I fucking hate the baby or you're a fuckin asshole (to her father, she liked me :)) when she was in 2nd grade. It worked for awhile, most of the time I just had to threaten to get the soap bar if one of them kept repeating bad words or hateful things.



I had my mouth washed out a time or two growing up. I didn't like it so I quit saying dammit. I don't hate my parents or have nightmares about a giant bar of soap coming after me. lol They also wiped methiolade (no idea on the spelling on that one) on my finger to get me to quit sucking it. I remember that it tasted horrible and it turned my finger an orangy-pinkish color. It didn't take long for me to stop after that. I suppose that would be considered abusive, too? This is similar to the spanking debate, but let's not go there. Taking any of these to the extreme would be child abuse, imo. I also whole heartedly agree with Kelly Dean's post. That is an effective, proper way to use the soap, again, imo. Different strokes for different folks.

Jane - posted on 08/25/2012

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What a disgusting thing to do! That would definitely be classed as child abuse in my opinion! I don't care if its a bar or liquid - its just wrong!



And anyway, where do they hear the bad language from in the first place? If it is from their parents then the parents have no right to be so hypocritical! Children learn from mimicking people around them so if their parents, other relatives, friends or neighbours swear then the most you can do is to explain that it's inappropriate and ask them not to repeat such words and make sure they, the adults, don't say those words in front of the kids either. The best way to teach our kids is by example.

Kirsty - posted on 08/25/2012

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that is actually discusting, how could somebody do this to a child? its abuse...and secondly its soap, its no edible so imagine the effects!!

Kelly - posted on 08/24/2012

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So far I've been lucky with my stepdaughter. She knows that even though Daddy and I (and her bio-mom) sometimes use bad words, those words are grown-up words that she shouldn't ever say.



I'm really not that concerned with whether or not she knows the words, or even says them occasionally. What matters is that she doesn't say them in front of me. That shows me that she understands that there is a time and place for such language, and there are times and places that such language is inappropriate.



That said, I would try to avoid washing her mouth out with soap. It certainly wouldn't be my first reaction. She'd get a warning (more likely two), and if she failed to comply, *then* she'd probably get her mouth washed out with soap. Not liquid, since it probably would upset her stomach. I don't see anything wrong with a bar of Dove or Ivory, though.

Caroline - posted on 08/21/2012

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If that's how one feels about swearing then I don't have a problem with it but I swear as do my older children and I'm perfectly fine with that.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/15/2012

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It was mentioned it in the books too. I only bought the first two at the used book store in a town library. 1.50$ a piece so I figured for that price I could see what the hype was about. I definitely prefer books to movies based on books. Although with The Devil Wears Prada I could do either.

Actually I let my 7 year old watch The Devil Wears Prada with me because despite the rating it has a good message that you shouldn't let your work and other people dictate who you are and lose sight of what's important. But that's for the other thread.

Soap flavoured gum... what Canada won't do for fun :)

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/15/2012

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Oh, I have no idea.... Never heard of that. I also have never watched HP. Not my thing. ;)



Here is a link of what the gum looks like. YUM! I grew up on it. LOL



http://www.google.ca/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&b...



BTW - It is a Canadian thing.... You cannot buy it anywhere else, except the internet, if you aren't in Canada.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/15/2012

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Are they like the Bertie Bots every flavour jelly beans from HP?

Momma (MeMe) - posted on 08/15/2012

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Come on, people. I LOVE Thrills gum! It taste just like soap and I go buy some every blue moon from a store we have called 'Freak Lunch box". It has all the old, cool and new, candy stuff.



YUM! So, for all those parents that have kids that HATE soap, go buy them some Thrills. It is much safer and well, probably more feasible. Since you can carry the gum with you! LMAO



Oh and this is like actually eating soap, not just a few bubbles. ;)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/15/2012

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My 17 month old eats soap so it would never work for me either. DH once convinced our 7 year old that oatmeal soap would taste like oatmeal. But that was just being silly.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/15/2012

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My kids love eating bubbles, this would never work for us. But I would never torture them like that anyway.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/15/2012

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Shannon, kids die from eatting peanut butter due to a severe allergic reaction. My husband can die if he eats bell peppers because he is severely allergic to them. The child could have been severely allergic to an ingrediant in the soap. Maybe you should do some research?

Shannon - posted on 08/15/2012

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kids have also dies from eating peanut butter, where are you getting your information from? a tiny drop of soap rubbed into a childs mouth and then that child dies common

Jodi - posted on 06/12/2012

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"Never punish a child that harshly for learning what they have been taught.esp. If they learned from you or the environment you have them in. " I agree with thsi to a point, I stubbed my pinky toe one day and say "shit", my then 2 year old immediately started saying shit to mimic me. I simply told her mommy shouldn't have said that and she shouldn't either. Granted, I wouldn't ever use soap at that age anyways. But, I live next a group home and we frequently hear the words "fuck" "dammit" "shit" "bitch" and such, several times a week. When one of the tenants is having a fit, I will bring my kids inside, but I can't know beforehand when an outburst will occur, my daughter occasional drops the f-bomb, I don't "punish" her for it (just a talking to usually quells it for a few weeks), but I'm not going to put a massive amount of money into moving someplace else, where I will likely encounter other people that swear too. Sometimes, your kid picking up bad language is unavoidable. Unless you're a hermit...then you're good! lmbo

[deleted account]

i haven't done it but i remember when i was a kid in the 90's and my brother would bite alot and so our babysitter washed his mouth out with soap and he never did it, at least to my knowledge, again. do i like the idea of using that method? no, but i';m not ruling it out. i suppose if nothing else worked and i was tying to get my son to stop swearing or biting i might give it a shot

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/10/2012

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Then you start having them see food as punishment and you have a whole new issue.

Carmen - posted on 06/10/2012

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That's horrible. I would never punish any child like that. I was reading a book awhile back ago about child abuse and that's one thing a mother did and it posioned the child. An easier way to punish the child is find some food the child hates! Make sure their not allergic and stuff, then make them eat it. That taught my five year old and now he's a well mannered boy.

Vicki - posted on 06/01/2012

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Never punish a child that harshly for learning what they have been taught.esp. If they learned from you or the environment you have them in.

Aunt Marty - posted on 06/01/2012

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I think it used to be a real common thing to just do a little taste of bar soap on a kids mouth and say wash the dirty words out of your mouth. I don't know if it helped amy, but I'm sure it didn't hurt.
Most little ones have put soap in their mouths as a kid in the tub at some time. It tasted bad, but caused no harm. Unless a child is being physically or emotionally abused, parents parent differently and what one approves of another doesn't.

Julia - posted on 06/01/2012

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I think I'm a rather progressive and tough mom but I don't agree with the soap in the mouth punishment. It can be dangerous and caused many problem.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2012

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I had it when I was in high school (Im only 20 now) I would'nt do it to my kids but my partner said he would, will be interesting when it comes down to it.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/25/2012

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Toni I understand that. I just don't consider a swat on the bum (with your hand) to be beating your kid. What my paternal grandparents did to my dad and his brother and sisters that was abuse because they were hit with belts and given water fasts if they got sick.

[deleted account]

No Megan spanking walks a fine line which although never necessary, is not always abuse, paddling on the other hand is beating.

Ali if you put information/ opinion down on a debate board it is there to be debated!

[deleted account]

Hmmm. Thanks for putting your presumption into words. I was just talking about what does and doesn't work in relation to swearing. This isn't going to be another of those threads that decends into people quoting each other about spanking, child abuse and all that jazz is it?

I'll try to move back on topic. Soap doesn't clean a dirty mouth because.......

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/25/2012

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*head deask* Spanking isn't the same as beating. My parents spanked me with just their hand. IMO beating is when you use force and also with something other than your hand

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/25/2012

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Toni, I think Ali means that she agrees with spanking and perhaps paddling.

[deleted account]

What's a pro cp strict mom?

Most people on this thread are against the idea of soaping so you're in the majority really Ali.

[deleted account]

I'll probably raise a few eyebrows by saying that I don't agree with soap in the mouth because I'm considered to be one of those pro CP strict moms. I don't agree with soap because of the chemicals and because it doesn't work. I don't swear and I don't condone it or tolerate it under my roof. I know kids swear like troopers around their peers because they think it's funny, but well raised kids don't do it around adults.



I was discusted when I found out that my son said the F word at sports day and I gave him a time out while the rest of his friends were enjoying the playground. My son doesn't swear around me and he even looks appauled when he hears adults swearing, but he still did it. What does this mean? I think he's rebelling and doing it when he thinks he can get away with it, but he still knows it's wrong because that's the way we taught him.



I also swore when I thought I could get away with it, but I don't do it anymore because I know it's wrong. I'm hopeful that my son will also come to the same conclusion and stop doing it. If parents refuse to tolerate it then children will eventually learn that it's not tolerated in polite society and they will stop doing it. I enjoyed swearing as a kid, but I hate hearing it now. They will move on from the childish fun of swearing if they're exposed to environments where it isn't the done thing.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/24/2012

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Forget soap in the mouth, we just threaten them with my MIL's cooking and they behaive.

I wouldn't give my children soap, for one thing my 14 month old enjoys eatting it. I swear I go through 1/2 a bar of unscented Dove soap a week just because she gets it out of the travel container and gnaws on it.

Shannon - posted on 05/24/2012

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well I gave my seven year old a time out twice for swearing and the second time out was for the entire evening because I have little one that I do not want to learn these colorful new words.. so the third time I gave him a spank which I always use as a very last resort and so when again he chose to use a swear I put a drop of soap on my finger and then touched his mouth, it was the last time he chose to swear..like I said this is a last resort to me, I don't like it either but society is not going to be kind to me in public if they hear my child running around using this kind of dirty talk, I see a lot of sugar coating in 2012 I see alot of spoiled children given way to much pull, the word is honor thy mother and father, don't hurt your children but also don't spare them the parenting that they crave and deserve, I teach consequences, I will take away privileges, and toys, give timeouts, writing lines is great for printing practice but when all of that fails to work I do what my mom did, and I'm alive and well

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