statuatory rape

Rosie - posted on 10/04/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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i just found out that someone i used to work with, and am fb friends with recently had a baby with a girl who graduates in 2011. problem is, he's 25. i'm figuring that puts her at oldest 17 when she conceived. most likely 16. does anybody know if this is illegal? i think it should be considered statuatory rape, but some states have different laws, and ages that can be consentual sex. i live in iowa. how would i find out?
and if i do find out this is illegal, should i say anything at all to the authorities. her parents were in all the pictures of the baby, so they obviously know. should i just butt out, and mind my own business?

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Petra - posted on 10/04/2010

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Kati, I would stay out of it... if her folks haven't taken issue with it, and they're her legal guardians, I'd leave it alone and just delete the dude from my FB. That is a lil pervtastic...

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Janessa - posted on 10/05/2010

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I think if you you cannot find someone legal or around the same age as you that means you have a problem see a therapist. I know a girl that who is 19 and has a two year old daughter. With that said she her now husband is almost 26 years old same age as my partner. Why could he not wait until she was 18 i loose respect for those kinds of people in society. I believe 18 and older is fair game period and those who go under are digusting period.

?? - posted on 10/05/2010

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Yea Becky, in 2008 they raised it to 16. When I was 13 I was with a 17 year old. His mom was shitting bricks cause I was under aged. I turned 14 about 4 months after we started dating and I was then "legal" so she kinda calmed down but she always hated me. Which is ironic, because it was her douche bag son that was the 'bad' person in our relationship. Maybe I should have listened to her and I would have avoided being abused for 4 years.

LaCi - posted on 10/05/2010

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I'd say butt out and mind your business. 16 and 17 year olds know what they're doing. When I was 16-17 my boyfriends were 21-25. It's just a matter of personal preference. I liked (and still like) older guys, and we shared a scene. Not a big deal, in my opinion.

Becky - posted on 10/04/2010

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Jo, they raised it to 16 here? I hadn't heard that! I knew they wanted to. That is wonderful. 14 is way, way, way too young!
They also have a 2 year age difference law here though. If 2 12 year olds are having consensual sex, it's legally okay. But if it's a 12 year old and a 15 year old, it's not.

[deleted account]

Glad to see I'm not the only one in an "older woman-younger man" relationship :) I'm 5 years older than my husband.

?? - posted on 10/04/2010

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In Canada, the age of sexual consent is 16. That was only recent - in 2008 it was 14.

When a child is 14 they are allowed to make decisions themselves - regarding where they want to live, who they want to live with, whether they want to go to school or not, etc - legally parents have no right to make those specific decisions for children who are 14 or older. At 14 years old, a child can legally be considered for emancipation.

At least, that's what my friends mom was told by the cops when her 14 year old daughter ran away from home. There was nothing she could do - her child was 14 and allowed to make those choices - they could only intervene if she was putting herself in a dangerous situation where she would be subject to imminent harm.

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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In the Northern Territory in Australia there was a ruling by a court that an 8 year old who was gang raped had "asked for it" so the sentence was lessened. I'm not joking.

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2010

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my boyfriend is 4 years older than me so he was in grade 12 when i was in year 8 but we weren't going out then. we only started going out when I was 18 and he was 23

?? - posted on 10/04/2010

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technically they're "legal" at 14 though...

My friends sister who was 14 ran away from home - their mom could do nothing about it, cause she was 14 and legally able to make decisions for herself.

The laws are fucked. 14 year olds, 15, 16, 17 year olds don't always know what is best for them... the laws give them too much control :\

Rosie - posted on 10/04/2010

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chad was 18 and i was 23. as long as they are legal it doesn't weird me out, but when we're talking 16, it gets icky. i just shivered again!!

?? - posted on 10/04/2010

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There's a guy here who is as old as me (27) and the 2 girls he keeps bouncing between - 1 is the mom of his daughter and she's 19... she got pregnant by him when she was 16 and he was 25. And the other chick has a 2 year old daughter that isn't his but she's only 19 too, they first got together when she was 14 and he was 22.

He has always creeped me out. The reason they always break up and he goes back to the other one is cause he always caught sleeping with some teenage girl. It's not illegal, but it's just so nasty !

That being said, I'm 26 right now, my guy is 22. I was 24 and he was 19 when we started dating lol it just seems different when it's a dude who's so much older and the chick isn't even 20 :\

[deleted account]

In CA, if the parents of the child don't press charges then no charges are brought. That's the only state I know about though...

Tah - posted on 10/04/2010

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you should be weirded out...cause it is....she's right..delete, and guard your daughters..ick...my neice looks any age but 13 doesn't mean she is just cause her ta-ta's are dd...i pity the fool who messes with her even with her consent..she has countless uncles, cousins and a big brother waiting in the wings like ninjas.....

Rosie - posted on 10/04/2010

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it is pervtastic isn't it petra? it totally rubs me the wrong way. he's always had bad luck with relationships, and i think he may be trying to find someone that he can control, someone younger than him. it weirded me out when i found out how old she was,* shivers*

JuLeah - posted on 10/04/2010

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I am not sure I'd get involved, except to help with the baby. Others closer to the situation likely know what you know and have/have not taken action based on their understanding of things. If you do want to take action, start with asking your friend what happened. Maybe there is rhyme and reason to all of this.

[deleted account]

I think in most states, the legal age of consent is 16. It still doesn't sit well with me though. When my husband was in the Marines, one of his platoon buddies was home on leave and went to a 21 and over club. He met a girl and hooked up with her, only to be caught "in the act" by her parents. I'm not sure how old she was, but she had gotten into the club using a fake ID. Her parents pressed charges. Ultimately, this guy was dishonerably disharged and will be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. Personally, I think the bar, the bouncers, whoever didn't catch the fake ID should have been held responsible. Lots of people look a lot older or a lot younger than they are, so for a man to be in a bar that is clearly a 21+ club, he should have the right to assume that anyone in that bar is "fair game" and legal. Someone wasn't doing their job that night, and now this man's life is ruined. I often wonder how many times this happens. Look up sex offenders in your area and how many of the red dots on the map do you think may be there for the wrong reasons? I don't think it happens THAT much, but I would venture to say it happens a lot more often than we think.

Tah - posted on 10/04/2010

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my neighbors daughter slept with the husband of the lady she was babysitting for at 16. They told her mom she was of legal consenting age, how cliche...sleeping with the babysitter..i don't care if her rack is big, she is still child...

Amie - posted on 10/04/2010

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Here you go:



http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/r...



Iowa



§ 709. 4





Third-degree sexual abuse to perform a sex act on another person, not his spouse, who is (1) age 12 or 13 or (2) age 14 or 15 if the actor is five or more years older.





Up to 10 years in prison





By my understanding, that's legal.

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