Swearing ( F!@# )

Charlie - posted on 09/10/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Are swear words still socially unacceptable or do you think they have become part of the everyday vocabulary ?
How often do you swear ?
Do you think some swear words have taken on other meanings ?

In the town i come from swearing is common , in fact there are not many conversations where F!%# isnt involved , Its mainly taken place of the word " um " , a space filler i suppose .

EG, " How was your day ?"

" Not bad , pretty F$!%in hot though so i left early couldn't work in that F@$$in heat ."

"Yeah F!^#@ that ."


Or people use them as a term of endearment .

EG . Hey Dickhead , what have you been up to ?
The boys often call each other the C word as a term of endearment .
And its not just the young people even the older generation speak this way .

I am not joking this is how everyone talks here , even my fiance who is Australian moved to my home town and was blown away he said to me " wow , this is like pirate town i cant understand a word you guys say "
( we also have strong Aussie accents , people from the city always asked what country i was from LOL.)
We are an old fishing town , so pirates is pretty damn close !

Personally i dont swear around Cooper or any other children and most of my mates tend to keep it in around children , but when it is a child free zone ALL swear words come out without thinking or batting an eye , i think if its not in an aggressive way and amongst adults who do not have a problem with it then it is fine but i would never swear in front of my Nanna or children .

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Cassie - posted on 09/13/2009

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I think that it says a lot that many women in this thread say that they want to teach their children that words are just words and that cuss words hold no power or meaning above any other words but then will say that they still do not cuss around the elderly or in the office and such. That seems to contradict itself. If they are just words and shouldn't be taboo, then they should be used as any other words are in front of the elderly, in the office, at the park, etc. I think they are more than just words and that is why we refrain from using them in such situations.

I think cuss words should remain socially unacceptable. Whether they are in today's society, I don't know and that scares me. I hate the idea of my daughter growing up in a world where many of these vile words are socially acceptable. I cringe when I hear people cuss. I think it really makes people seem completely unintelligent and unable to get their point across in a civilized manner. I know that I can not shield my daughter from cuss words. My in-laws use them in every other sentence. I will just be teaching her that those words are not polite and should never be used. I will not tell her that they are adult words because I don't think adults should use them in conversations either. I just feel that they are pointless in conversations and don't contribute to civilized conversation in any way. People will always slip. No one is perfect and everyone has cussed at one point or another. I just do not think we need to allow children to be exposed to them any more than they have to be. I think they need to be taught that they are hurtful and wrong to use for anyone, adults and children alike. We as their parents need to clean up our language so that we can set a good example for our children.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/13/2009

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Quoting Cassie:

I think they need to be taught that they are hurtful and wrong to use for anyone, adults and children alike. We as their parents need to clean up our language so that we can set a good example for our children.



I think you made an excellent point - swear words are taboo (or once were) because they are hurtful to some people.  I said that the french use the F word all the time without thinking and I think they like the shock value from English people.  In french there is a taboo saying "colise de tabernacle" which basically means "Fxxx the Church" and it is very disrespectful to say that, but many English people get a kick out of saying it to shock their french friends.  Whether it's for shock-value, to express emotion or because people think it is now socially acceptable, the bottom line is that they are hurtful and disrespectful to others.  I think it is just common decency and good manners to try your best not to use them.  But what the f!&# do I know? :P

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Esther - posted on 09/13/2009

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I haven't read the posts above. I don't swear much. I do use cuss words on occassion, but "fuck" doesn't roll off my tongue without thought. When I use it, it's deliberate. Shit rolls off a little more easily. I think I make stronger arguments when I don't use cuss words.

?? - posted on 09/13/2009

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Quoting Lisa:
In french there is a taboo saying "colise de tabernacle" which basically means "Fxxx the Church" and it is very disrespectful to say that, but many English people get a kick out of saying it to shock their french friends.


It's funny you say that, when I came back from Montreal I had learned ALL the bad words but the rest of the French I learned was limited. My sister (15 at the time) had come home from school saying her French teacher had spent the last 3 French classes discussing pointless crap and she was very religious so all of her 'examples' were around the Church and religion. (My family does not believe in God and we do respect people's right to be religious - we just don't wanna hear it - we're not religious!) So I told her the next time her teacher started in on the religious crap to say "colise de tabernacle." At first she refused, she said that it was beyond what she wanted to say and then after another 2-3 classes of it she finally said "Madam Belleveau...?" and she said "Oui?" and Meli said "Colise de tabernacle."

The entire class stared at Meli and Madam Belleveau said "PRINCIPALS OFFICE NOW!" so Meli said "Okay... I have no problems telling the principal that you're spreading your religious beliefs in class..." and went to walk out the door and Meg (her friend) said "Meli what did you say?" and Mel said "Fuck the church." The entire class burst out laughing and then next week French class spent discussing (in French) the importance of using your words and your voice appropriately.

My view on cussing is along the same lines of my view on burping, farting, bad jokes, etc, etc, etc there is a time and a place and as much as they can be offensive, in bad taste and used to humiliate, hurt and be rude - they have their purpose and I will teach my son (and have to teach his dad in some cases as well) when they are and are not appropriate and the purpose/meaning behind them as well.

Jeannette - posted on 09/13/2009

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My husband and I watched our language when our kids were younger. Then one day, we overhear a convo they are having and they are cussing up a storm! We told them that only the adults are allowed to talk how they want, but they still talk how they want with their friends.
Even their teachers have used cuss words in class at different times. I don't freak out because the teacher didn't call my kid a bitch/bastard...I think one said damn once and another said something else, but no kids were cussed out.
It depends on what music/movies/books I'm into. The more cuss words I am being fed, the more I say them.

I have a gutter mouth and a gutter mind! lol!
I read a reader story in a magazine not too long ago...
a little boy knocked on the door of his friend's house, when his friend's mom answered he proceeded to tell her that her son had used a bad word in class that day. She responded with, oh it's because he has two sailors for parents. They were both enlisted in the Navy. Lol!
I think it is tacky when kids swear in public....they don't know what they're really saying. My teenagers and their friends sound ridiculous I'm sure.
I don't really cuss at work because we are discouraged from doing so.

Christa - posted on 09/13/2009

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I tried to stop swearing when my first was old enough to repeat me. I realized they mimic what they see is their parents and I don't want to hear my children walking around swearing. Its not like you can tell them.....they can only swear at home. And I don't want them swearing in school or other people's house. Personally, I don't miss it....words slip out every now and then. But I have lost the purpose of swearing. I mean what's the point. How does f*#ck have to do with anything going on in our day...so why use that one. And what does S*#t have to do with being mad. When you think about.....swearing just doesn't make any sense. If you mad....just stay what your mad about.

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I have to be really angry to call someone the "c" word. My maiden name was Kutner......you can imagine how many times my name was mispronounced "Kunter"......grrrrrrrr lol

Francesca - posted on 09/11/2009

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I swear far to much, i always get told off by mark. Never swear in front of the boys.

i do love some swear words, (sorry now) Twat(love that one) f*@k , i never say the c word thats just nasty.

Konda - posted on 09/11/2009

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Ummm this is s sticky subject for me right now....I have a gutter mouth too and often just talk without thinking. Well when hubby is on nights he sleeps in the spare room, he was up early and Nicholas and I woke up and he wanted some juice, so I told him we'd call Daddy's cell phone and ask him to bring it in...and I did. Well after I hung the phone up, Nicholas looked at me so innocently and asked, 'so is Daddy pissed off now?".

Socially acceptable or not, I need to clean my language up around my children.

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I have to admit that I swear more than I should. I grew up around a mother who could cuss like a sailor, did it around me all the time, but NEVER was I allowed to say those words. If I was upset as a child, I can remember going to my room, covering my face with my pillow and saying every cuss word I could think of in one long stream. Something like "Goddamn motherfucker shit asshole bitch!" Obviously, I knew they were "bad" words because I wasn't allowed to say them. But as I got older and into my teens I was a walking F Bomb. As I've gotten older (much older than my teens, sadly lol) I've calmed down some, mostly since I had my son. He'll be two next month and for the time being he doesn't say many words. But I know he understands them. So I really try to not curse around him. I slip all the time though. Like today when he threw his dinner all over my freshly mopped floor, before I could stop myself, the words "Dammit Jacob" just came rolling off my tongue. I'll put it to you this way, I'd be mortified if he decided to say a bad word in a public place (like the grocery) but I honestly wouldn't be surprised. Someone said something earlier about having a two year old parrot....I don't think I'm all that far from having one of those lol

Jinglebones - posted on 09/11/2009

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Quoting Jodi:

I thought I'd add a funny story. My parents would freak when I was young if I swore. I was brought up very strictly about that - not even the word bloody was acceptable out of our mouths (right up until I was 18) and we are Australian!!!! Who would have thought!!!. My youngest brother is 8 years younger than me, and once I was away from home for a few years, I'd go back home and listen to my brother (at that time about 16) cursing and using the F word. One night I asked my parent about it, and why were tolerating it, because they were just ignoring it and doing nothing. My mother told me that since I was a teenager (I was the oldest of 5 children) she had learned what a great word it was for letting out your frustrations and she dropped the F word too!!!! That totally freaked me out.


Funny, Jodi - my mom was insane about the kind of language we could use - she just hated to hear us using harsh words with each other (there were 8 of us - 3 boys and 5 girls).  The other kids must have thought we were nuts because of the way we would talk - she didn't like the word PIG so we would hiss "sowsowsowsow" to each other; she did not like the words "SHUT UP!", so we would hiss "Be QUIET!"; she didn't like any swear words (of course) but for some unknown reason Bugger and Frig were acceptable (I don't think she knew what they meant), so obviously there was a lot of buggering and frigging going on (hah!).  But we retaliated - when we were young adults we were giggling at her as she was folding laundry and we finally let her know why - she was wearing a t-shirt my sister got her that said "Smoke Columbian" on it; after we let her know what it meant, between fits of giggles, she said, "I wondered why you got me that! I don't even smoke!".  Oh, yes, and we would always get her with "would you like a cup of tea BAG?".  Luckily she has a good sense of humour...

Jenny - posted on 09/11/2009

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I don't censor myself either. I love swearing. I'll add in a swear where there's no reason for one just for spice lol. I work in the trades so there's alot of swearing at work. I don't swear at all when around seniors, people of authority or around others children. I don't even think about, a switch just flips and it's PG-13. My daughter is 6.5 and has never repeated a swear. She understands it's not appropriate for children and I've never told her that. I don't want to make a big deal about so it becomes this mysterious thing that grownups do and make it more attractive for her.

Jodi - posted on 09/11/2009

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I thought I'd add a funny story. My parents would freak when I was young if I swore. I was brought up very strictly about that - not even the word bloody was acceptable out of our mouths (right up until I was 18) and we are Australian!!!! Who would have thought!!!. My youngest brother is 8 years younger than me, and once I was away from home for a few years, I'd go back home and listen to my brother (at that time about 16) cursing and using the F word. One night I asked my parent about it, and why were tolerating it, because they were just ignoring it and doing nothing. My mother told me that since I was a teenager (I was the oldest of 5 children) she had learned what a great word it was for letting out your frustrations and she dropped the F word too!!!! That totally freaked me out.

Shannon Cassidy- - posted on 09/11/2009

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The only time I swear is if I am very angry , but will not do it in front of my Parents or my mother in-law . I try not to in front of my little ones but that doesn't always work.

That doesn't matter to much thow My father has a mouth on him also and Irish man. LOL. Both my sisters have a nasty mouths also they also have little ones I can only imangine what they will talk like when they are older. My 5 year old Nephew called his a father Sh*t head one times I was stuned and my sister laughs and says he says that all the time I was like will he shouldn' t and you shouldn"t let him.

Sara - posted on 09/11/2009

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Loureen, I want to hear you talk now! Can I come visit? (If you can't tell, I'm been trying to weasel my way to Australia for a while now) :)



I would say that it's acceptable in certain situations where I"m from. My husband and I cuss (we're working on it, I don't want my daughter to say "F#@k NO!" to me one day). I, however, do not cuss in front of my parents or in-laws, that has never been acceptable. I don't cuss at work obviously (unless I"m talking to friends). And I really have trained myself not to cuss to strangers...so, to answer your question, I don't think it's socially acceptable except in people's own small circles...at least, that's where it accpetable to me.

Evelyn - posted on 09/11/2009

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I really don't curse much. I definitely don't curse (or try not to) or allow cursing in front of my daughter. Thats not to say she hasn't heard swearing..(especially around my bro in law..he's Irish..enough said lol) but I do censor it for sure. I don't say and cannot STAND the C word. Ugh..most disgusting word ever. I've said shit on occassion..but I've come up w/words in place of curse words. I'll say dagnabbit instead of damn or crap instead of shit...etc..etc. I have my own little tale to tell though lol..I'll make it short..



One day we're standing on line at Target..it was PACKED..it was near the holidays. Well, my daughter's fave movie at the time was Zathura. So we're standing there and she spots the little fridge thing that sits up by the register. She turns to me and in her loudest voice shouts..."GET ME A JUICE BOX BEEAATTCCHHH". (watch the movie..you'll get it lol) If I could have disappeared into a poof of smoke I would have. Everyone just started cracking up. One lady knew where she had heard it and said.."Zathura huh?" I just nodded my head and tried to make myself invisible.

Jinglebones - posted on 09/11/2009

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I think swearing is part of a pattern of speech that is hard for some people to turn on and off. I really do not like to hear it and try to avoid it. That said, my husband is french and we live in a french community - they have a real fondness for the F word and do not seem to understand (or perhaps care) that the everyday use of this word can be offensive to English speakers. When we moved into a rental house while our house was being built, the timer on the stove kept going off at all hours of the day and night. When I was dealing with it one day, my then-4 year old son said "it's a F--k stove". I looked at him with disbelief and said "what?" and he said "Daddy said it's a f--k stove". My husband is the sweetest, most considerate and generous person you would ever meet, but he cannot stop himself from using the f-word - in his defence, everyone he works with and his family pepper their exuberant french conversation with the one English word I recognize and it never ceases to make my eyes get big...

Sarah - posted on 09/11/2009

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I swear like a trooper! I think they're just words really, swearing doesn't bother or offend me at all.
However, in saying that, i don't like to hear kids swearing. I NEVER swore in front of my parents until i was about 18, and even then it was very rare, and only in context.
My eldest, Cadence, has sworn a few times (since starting school) and i've been very clear in the fact that they are 'grown-up words' and i DO NOT want to hear her saying them until she is an adult.
I did have to smother a smile tho when she dropped her sunglasses and said 'Fuck! I dropped my sunglasses!'
The only swear word i use around the kids is 'bloody' i just can't seem to curb that habit for some reason. Cadence tells me off tho, she tells me off if i say 'blooming' too which i think is a bit unfair! lol!
:)

Charlie - posted on 09/11/2009

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I had a little girl at my school about 5 years old playing house , she was pretending that she had a cake baking in the oven and i could hear her muttering , she pulled her imaginary cake out of the imaginary oven and said " SHIT !! i burnt it " .
None of the other children heard or understood , i didnt make a big deal out of it but found it hysterical all i could think was " gee i wonder who she is pretending to be ?"

Krista - posted on 09/11/2009

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It seems that a lot of parents aren't very bothered by their children swearing, and decide that they're just words so what's the harm (I've had plenty of kids in grade one swear). I disagree. For the same reason that I'm going to teach my kids to say 'please' and 'thank you,' I'm going to teach them NOT to say 'bitch' or 'ass.' I find it disrespectful and low class, and I'm really big on manners. I drill manners into my class - they cannot go to washroom unless they say please (I just keep saying 'pardon me?' until they catch on and say please...some are quicker than others!) so I'm pretty sure I'll be drilling it into my kids even more so. I'm sure it's funny to hear a toddler slip and say a swear once or twice, but I would be mortified if it became a habit because of my own dirty mouth. Thanks for this conversation! I'm even more determined to quit swearing than I was before!

Johnny - posted on 09/10/2009

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LMAO! Amie, you've just encapsulated my fears about my swearing. I'm pretty good about keeping my language under control, unless I'm driving. Then I sound like a racist pirate. I get so irritated and it all just flies out of my mouth. I'm especially talented with racial slurs, but they are not directed at any one group, and I will use them against every group imaginable. I particularly enjoy referring to large white men as fat fucking honkies. They are my current road rage recipients. But I've got to stop! I had myself convinced for a while that I could just explain to my daughter that talking like that is something that should only be done in a car. But then I realized... car pooling. Inevitably she'll be sitting in some nice mother's car and they will get cut off in traffic, and my daughter will let out "get out of our way you fucking blond bimbo!" and I'll be the "bad" mom in the neighbourhood forever more.

Jodi - posted on 09/10/2009

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I know I laughed my head off (I had to leave the room to do it) the day we told Taylah to do something she didn't want to do. At all of 3 years old, she turned around with a scowl on her face and said "Well, f*k that!!"



Yes I laughed, but I wasn't really impressed. We are careful what we say around the kids, but my husband works in an environment where swearing is the norm, and then he brings it home. He finds it hard not to. I am tolerant, but I do give him "the look" when he lapses!!



But the 'C' word - I can't stand it. Anyone uses that one around here and they won't be tasting anything but soap for a week. I find it a disgusting term.

Amie - posted on 09/10/2009

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ROFL!!! Brenda that reminds me of something that happened this summer with my son. Which should be used as a reminder to all parents that no matter how quiet you talk under your breath your children will hear you!!

So we're driving down town in our city. Turn a corner and come to a complete stop. Some douche was sitting in the middle of down town traffic waiting for a bloody parking spot! So we sat there for about 2 minutes. Jonathan (my son) sitting in the back getting impatient and starting to fidget. I'm doing my usual sighs and muttering to myself when I heard a noise. I turn around in time to see my son lean out the window (he had taken off his seat belt) and yell MOVE YOUR ASS!!!! I about died.

I have to admit I laughed so hard I almost pee'd later on but he sure got a talking too. He hasn't sworn since then. LOL!!!!

Brenda - posted on 09/10/2009

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Ok, I have to post one funny story about my son saying fuck. This was two years ago, he was 7 & in second grade.
We were at Target and my son was bugging me for an alarm clock, I told him NO, he couldn't have it and to put it back on the shelf. Well, when he placed in on the shelf, it slipped and fell on the floor. Suddenly I heard him say "Fuck!" I was totally mortified. I said "What did you say?!" and his eyes got big and he said "Oh darn...?" and I said "OH NO, that is NOT what you said... where did you hear that word?" Of course as soon as I asked that, it reminded me of Ralphie on "A Christmas Story" when his mom has the soap in his mouth... LOL Anyway, I was waiting for him to say "From YOU Mom!" but he said, "Well Aaron wrote a letter to Destiny at school and it said 'Fuck you, you're a bitch!'..." and again, my mouth fell open... this was afterall, SECOND grade!
So I told him, "There is no reason for you to be saying fuck, it's not a nice word and it's not appropriate for kids." Later in the car he said "Mom, what does that word mean anyway?" and I said "If you don't know what it means, all the more reason for you NOT to use it!" LOL
Later when I got home, I decided to email his teacher. I said "I wanted to check in to see if you have heard any bad language or cursing at school. The reason I ask is, Zach has slipped and said some interesting words at home (including the f-bomb). I know this is typical and thanks to the influences of others he has been "expanding" his vocabulary..." of course I wasn't sure how to tell her he said FUCK so I figured "f-bomb" would be a better choice. LOL Well, here is the actual email I got back from his teacher-- it's so funny that I kept it...
"Hi Brenda,
I am afraid the "f-bomb" might have come from a silly book from our library: Walter the Farting Dog. It is a story about a family that adopts a dog from the pound that nobody else wanted. I am sure you can guess why by the title. The children love the story but I told them even though it is a great story and makes us laugh, it is not an appropriate word to use and they are old enough to know this..."

When I got that email back, I just died laughing because she obviously thought I was upset over him saying "fart"... hahahahaha When I actually told her what he said, she was just as shocked as I was. LOL

Amie - posted on 09/10/2009

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I try not too but I gotta admit I laugh at myself sometimes. I censor their t.v. but then they are exposed to me. LOL!! Gotta wonder about that sometimes..=D

Lindsay - posted on 09/10/2009

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My kids correct me too. I don't cuss a lot but I do some and it usually just slips out. Josh, on the other hand, has a potty mouth! I don't think he could get through a conversation without cussing. It's not angry, just part of his vocabulary. My kids know that they aren't allowed to use those words just as beer and cigarettes are for adults only. We try to cut it down in front of them but as with anything else in life, we don't over censor.

Amie - posted on 09/10/2009

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I swear on a daily basis. Ryan gets pissy about it some days. /:) Men! haha.
The kids have picked up a few of them but learned to not use them. Our oldest two will correct me if I swear. It's not nice and you're not supposed to use those words. Right... sorry sorry. It's like I'm living with tiny parents. LOL!
I think in casual settings they are becoming more the norm. Professional settings it is still taboo. After all.. how is anyone supposed to take you seriously with a gutter mouth?

Brenda - posted on 09/10/2009

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I swear occasionally in everyday conversation with my friends, but I don't think I am extreme about it. I don't say c#@! or things like that normally.
When I am with my kids, I am pretty aware of what I say. Occasionally I will say "God Dammit!!" or something like that, but it's pretty rare. I don't think its necessarily a bad thing if you drop a swear in once in awhile around your kids because it just reminds my kids that I am human and I make mistakes too. If I do accidentally curse in front of them, I say "I'm sorry, Mom shouldn't have said that." and when they say something they shouldn't, they stop and say the same to me. Of course their words are much more tame. Lately it's been "balls" and "nuts"... UGH. Boys.

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We do not reign in our curse words around our son, he is also not sensored in his viewing... When he started repeating curse words we just would tell him to talk nice and have held a 'only when you hurt yourself' rule. I use them more then that obviously and sometimes he'll match my tone and repeat me, in which case i simply agree and acknowledge his match and let it go. Ex: I say "oh f***" and he repeats "oh f***" I would then say "right? f***!" and let it go. He will occassionally use them in conversation and I tell him to talk nice, otherwise I'll match his mood and let it go... He seemingly knows when not to use it as he never used them at daycare and is often angelic around other company (he's 3). I do not think that it is totally ok to go around f-n this and f-n that all the time, but even my mom laid off me for talking the way I do, although she was surprised when I told my brother he did not need to watch his language around my son?

Jocelyn - posted on 09/10/2009

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i'm soooo guilty of over-swearing lol. but i blame my hubby; i was bad before, but i wasn't nearly as bad as i am now when i met him lol. we try and watch our mouths around our son, but it doesn't really work that well (ie, when my dh says "what the fuck" my ds holds his hands out in a gesture along the lines of "oh come on"; he's been doing that since he was 2)
but we never really say cunt. that's just an ugly word in my opinion and it doesn't really flow with our "style" lol
my sister swears like a trucker as well, maybe it's our generation, who knows? our parents never really swore, so we didn't get it from them...
i think because our son doesn't talk we don't really notice that we do swear, but when he finally does repeats us, i hope we'll be "shocked" into behaving lol

Sharon - posted on 09/10/2009

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I swear alot online. I don't swear much in front of the kids, especially the "fk" word. "shit" is common. "son of a ..." without the "bitch" at the end is also common. I always stop short. My favorite word for insulting someone? "whore" she's a whore. Stop talking to your whorish sister and get back in the bedroom.



I say "mother f'n" not fucking "f'n". to me its really not much better except in semantics. Everyone knows what you're really saying when you say "f'n". I don't use it much. Ever since I cut out cursing in my daily life I say " SERIOUSLY?" "Are you serious?" to everything. Cars that cut me off, ups truck that drifts into my lane, bad ring up at the cash register....

Krista - posted on 09/10/2009

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I'm really working on not swearing since I had my son. I don't want to just reign in it in front of him, I'd rather not swear at all. It's not really working for me yet, but at least I'm conscious of it! I'll throw a 'hell' or 'sh*t' into conversation now and then, but I try to stay clear of F-bombs. If I do slip and say it, I always feel a little bad afterwards. I don't have a problem with other people swearing (as long as it's not around my son), but I figure as a grade one teacher and a new mom, I really shouldn't have such a foul mouth!

Erin - posted on 09/10/2009

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I have a gutter mouth, and it's something I'm going to have to seriously work on VERY soon (Milla is 7 months old). I don't say the C-word, and I don't swear AT people (unless I'm in a really nasty argument =P) but I drop the F-bomb far too often in conversation. I think it definitely has become less taboo in social situations, but remains unacceptable in the professional environment. But I don't swear around old people (my Nana smacks me for saying 'bloody' lol) or kids (nothing worse than a 2yo parrot), so I guess I subconsciously am aware of when it's ok and when it's really not.

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