talking money.....

Tah - posted on 11/05/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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I have always heard rich people say that talking about money is rude..well others don't seem to think so. We all know someone who no matter if you are talking about which fast food place has the best french fries they will manage to bring how much they spend or how much their things cost into it.



"I'm house hunting...we said we won't spend a nickel more than 800,000 because then we may be forced to downgrade to a 70,000 dollar car and who needs that right?..lol"



Or goodness forbid you compliment them.



"that is a beautiful ring" O this..well we personally sent someone to sierra leone to dig up this blood diamond, smuggle it here where Leopald, our diamond cutter, made it look magnificent, i mean the clarity alone is to die for"...you know, you could have just said thank you...



We just threw Skye a 20,000 dollar party for her 6 month b-day, do you think the flying elephants were too much???, we should have done more, we can afford it after all...



Or they have to tell you how much their handbags, shoes etc cost with no prompting...i mean geez okay then, we all have nice and expensive things, i don't carry the receipt and insurance policy in my bra(lol) to show around....so my question is...



Are these people insecure about something?



Wanting to make other people feel somehow less then them?



Maybe they never had anything nice, married well or did well for themselves and want everyone to know?



or are they just bragging?



Am I the only one that finds this well...rude? in a word

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Charlie - posted on 11/05/2010

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I only brag when my ridiculously expensive item came from the second hand store my mum is queen of the bargain find like the brand new prada sunnies she found for $15 at the second hand store !

Bargains are heaps more fun to brag about , people who brag about the price of their new boat or whatever are lame .

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Stifler's - posted on 11/07/2010

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These kind of rich people are new money rich. They haven't grasped that no one cares how much money they spent on what, because usually it's a pretentious waste. I never talk about money or even ask what people make an hour or things like that or what they paid for their car unless I'm interested in buying one like it.

Leah - posted on 11/06/2010

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Haha, I love how everyone loves to brag about how much money they SAVE like me!! :D
Everyweek I browse the grocery fliersn to price match and clip coupons and if save alot at the grocery store, heck yeah I brag! (One time I saved almost $30!!).
If I do talk about how expensive something was, I say it in a bad way ie "Omg they charged me $30 for a pair of jeans!!" (yes, $30 for a pair of jeans is expensive it me, I like to buy them on the sales rack at Walmart for $7!! ;D)

The only people I talk to about how much I make is my sister, who is my bestest friend. We talk money problems, how much our paycheques were, how much our husbands make, in a very casual way, its just part of our everyday life. But if anyone else asked me, I would be very uncomfortable. For example, a friend of ours has a 14 year old and one day she was over hanging out with me (why, I don't know) and she asked how much money I made. WTF? I told her straight out that its not polite to ask questions like that. She has been snarky to me ever since, haha. She is total brat anyways and glad she doesn't come over anymore and eat my food and watch my tv.

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I have to edit myself here lol If I tell you that I like your shoes and you say, "Thanks! I got them for $50, marked down from $200!" or something like that then I'm cool with that type of bragging. Bragging about spending less is something I do. It's the bragging about how MUCH that I find rude and annoying. But even when bragging about how much something cost, I guess it all depends on who you're doing the bragging to.

[deleted account]

My dad often puts a monetary value on things when talking to friends and family. While I don't think it's rude, I do think it's unecessary. I don't get bent about it because I understand why he does it! Some people do it to brag but that's not always the case. My dad is humble and works hard for his money and my parents are very well off but I promise you he doesn't think he's "THE SHIT!" - it's quite the opposite actually. His incessant need to talk about money and material possessions stems from an insecurity and a long long road to success. I could go into further detail but I don't want to so I'll leave you with that!

Jenn - posted on 11/06/2010

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What used to drive me bonkers was when we were REALLY struggling to even put food on the table, my (now ex) friend would try to make it sound like they were having a hard time too, when she had already told me that her DH made over $100,000 a year and they just got a new big screen TV, a swimming pool and put a new fence up - yeah - real hurtin' *rolls eyes*. Anyway, yes, I think it's a way to make themselves feel better or to make themselves seem like they're better than you when they brag like that.

Jessica - posted on 11/06/2010

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Haven't read other replies, but in my experience, its actually been the less well-off folks who seem more stuck up and talk down on others, more than the people with more money. Growing up, yeah we had a decent amount of money. Weren't super rich, but had a nice house with a pool in the backyard, parents drove an audi and a bmw, went on vacations every summer, etc. My dad had a really good position with a complany that he had spent years working to get- worked his way up from the bottom basically. Neither he, nor my neighbors or friends, all in the same socioeconomic "range", ever bragged or talked down on anybody else. My dad is actually pretty laid back and humble.

But I have heard nasty things come out of mouths of people who grew up less fortunate. My MIL is the worst- she is a very sweet lady, but VERY condescending and judgmental especially when it comes to people with money. She was a single mom (kicked her husband out when the children were small because he was a neglectful ass) who raised 4 boys- they barely scraped by, always had to choose between bills and food, did not grow up with many of the luxuries I did. Any time something comes up involving people who happen to have more money than her, she turns into a classic snot. I find the irony amusing- most people think of rich people being stuck up, but in my experience its been the opposite!

Sal - posted on 11/06/2010

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i found a louis vuitton bag for $2 at an op shop, but assumed it was fake but a good one and i suited my need at the time (not quiet an over night size but bra undies and makeup all fitted nicely) after a little bit of reasearch and asking a few people who know the real thing i think it is real......yipee for me, on ebay second hand for over $800.

Sal - posted on 11/05/2010

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there was a survey recently that showed that rich people are less gernerous than lower income people when it comes to giving to charity, as a percentage of income the poor families give more, less in dollar terms but more percentage wise.
Mostly i think rich people telling what they spent/own is trying to make them self feel worthy, they see the money as so important, and makes them who they are, they want everyone to know how important they are, thats why people who don't mention it are probally more secure and nicer people, the money value doens't rule their personalities or make them who they are. I had an incident recently with my sons dad who we have had no contact with for many years (like 13) he was telling my son how he owned a BMW 2 houses blah blah blah.....i let it ride, i really don't care, but he kept on and on, in the end i had to tell his wife that bragging about what you have to the woman who you left to raise your son and never paid a cent of maintinace to was rude and a little bit wankerish... and she said he was just trying to impress my son and they weren't really that well off.(funnily enough that was after i mentioed 15 years of maintinese owing the the aus govt) ...i then had the joy of being able to gloat, told her that i know having several investment houses, bmw's and new 4 wd cars doesn't make you rich, but telling people about it makes you a wanker, which is why i never mentioned our's to them, and trying to impress someone with something they live with everyday is pointless.....they finally shut up after that.

Isobel - posted on 11/05/2010

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All the wealthy people I know brag about the bargains they've found...yeah, they spend for great quality but I've actually found them to be a little stingy to be honest...the people I know who brag about spending money don't seem to really have that much; they just want you to think they do.

Ez - posted on 11/05/2010

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Ugh my Aunty's new husband is like this. It's obnoxious as hell. My Dad and step-mother own 5 houses so they are usually the target of his bragging. It's pure jealousy.. trying to compete with them by talking about his expensive art and rugs. LAME!! Nobody cares!!

Rosie - posted on 11/05/2010

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i'm like jocelyn, i'll brag about how much money i DIDN'T spend on my stuff, or how long i've gone WITHOUT buying a new pair of jeans or whatever. i'm very proud that i'm cheap, lol!
i do wonder why people do the types of things you mentioned. i think in their world money is something to be proud of. and they brag. just like i think being cheap is osmething to be proud of-so i brag. i think it has alot to do with how each one of us was raised- were we raised with money or were we taught to respect our money?

Jocelyn - posted on 11/05/2010

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I think it is extremely tacky (unless you are with close friends/family and discussing budgets or something).
I think the ones who brag about money are either very insecure or think they are better than everyone else.
I personally brag, but it's something to this effect:
Person: "Oh, I love your new shoes that look like cats! Where ever did you get them?"
Me: "$20 on eBay bitches!"
I know one guy, he owns 34 companies and is worth millions. He is one of the most laid-back, down to earth guys I have ever met and the ONLY thing he brags about are the bargains he gets at LuLuLemon lol.

[deleted account]

Yes my neighbours do this all the time, i cant even count now how many times i heard how much there porcelain tiles cost, and lots of other things the talk about.Just zip it.:-)if there not talking about money, there to busy cleaning there tiles,cars and house to a shine.lol

Tah - posted on 11/05/2010

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exactly....i know people who ask me how much i make, i tell them it depends, and give them a range..because it does depend..lol..Then they have asked me how much my husband makes before also.." i tell them i don't really know exactly because the military is different...it's none of their business.....now if you are wanting to do what i do, or join the military, like you said that's different....but it isn't anyone's business and i don't ask them that....

[deleted account]

I find it rude and annoying. When I tell you I like your shoes, say thank you and shut up lol I think it's a combination of all of those reasons you listed Tah, depending on the person.

What gets me is when someone asks how much money we earn. Like, about a month ago some of Steve's friends were over watching football. One of the guys had brought his girlfriend. I know her as an acquaintance, but we're not really "friends". But we were having a nice afternoon chatting, cooking, watching the game with the guys and somewhere along the way we got to talking about bills. She flat out asked me "So how much does Steve bring home?". I mean, her boyfriend was out of work at the time, so in a way, I think she was fishing around to see if they were hiring where Steve works. Either way, all I said to her was, "He does pretty well. We pay rent and bills and still have a little extra left over." Now, had she asked how much they pay where Steve works then that wouldn't have bothered me. I was raised to not share that kind of information with people and I certainly would never ASK anyone else that question. The only people who know our personal financial business is us because it's no one else's business.

Tah - posted on 11/05/2010

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@Chrystal, exactly, when people ask me how much, i wonder why they want to know...and I still don't say.".It was a gift," or "i don't really remember", or i can refer them to place i found it. I never say, "o this bag was x amount of dollars"....or look at the new ring the husband bought me, it's 100 carats"..lol....i just tell people like that they are funny...because they are...now..if i do find a deal, and i pay a crazy low amount i will say and send them there before they are all gone, but that's where it ends.

Chrystal - posted on 11/05/2010

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No you are not the only one who finds this rude. Talking about money is very rude. It is nobody's business how much you do/don't make. When given a compliment on something just say thank you not how much you bought it for. I completely agree with you there.

Desiree - posted on 11/05/2010

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It the old rich that say that to discuss money is rude, but it can also be very dangerous too, because you never know who is listening in in on those conversations. It could be a kidnapper for all you know. Also it make people very insecure. You can always tell the new rich and old rich apart. The new rich will always boast about what they do how much it cost and even how they managed to get it discounted and its actual worth. They want people to know that they have money and that they are important. People who are born to it(old rich) don't need to boast because they have always had it and in the circles they float around in also has had it for a long time. Why boast to people in the same boat as yourself.
But in answer to your question yes its very rude and crude and shows your upbringing and where you come from and the fact that you are not a humble person even if you came from humble beginings and you are not proud of those beginings.

There is also a saying that those who always cry that they have no money have more than they make out, never trust them. They are the ones who leach off other people and are miserly when it comes to their own money but are free with the money of others.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/05/2010

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I will add...

I ♥ reading, buying books at deals or full price….

I will Bragg on that…What someone gets out of shopping at a second hand store, or buying shoes…ect That is how i feel when buying books...great Elation

If I get 20 books for 20 bucks….im bragging

~GUILTY~

Jodi - posted on 11/05/2010

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I do find it...maybe not rude, but really tacky. I know a few people who do this NON-STOP and it always seems to come across that they get their own self worth from how much they spend, how much money they have, or how expensive their outfit is. Maybe I'm just wrong, but that's how it seems to me.
My mom and I ALWAYS talk prices, we're huge bargain hunters and love to discuss how we got such and such item for 90% off or only paid half it's worth etc etc. BUT, it's only between the two of us because it's something we have in common, I don't tell everyone I meet or know that I got my furniture for pennies on the dollar, they don't care and it doesn't matter to them!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/05/2010

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If you have to constantly Bragg…you either never had anything new, you don’t really have the things your bragging about, or your exaggerating immensely….



I feel its more rude when you bragg to make someone else feel less then you.

Its more annoying when you frequently bragg…..like all the time….

What is also aggravating is when the person beast around the bush about the item, or trip…ect and they keep talking in a way, that they WANT you to ask how much it was!!!

(My sister-inlaw does that)



I think silence speaks volumes, and if you have it….people can see(unless your talking to them on-line)



Now if it’s a stranger giving my a compliment…on my things…I say a simple Thanks (unless they ask where I got and how much)

If it’s a family member or friend, I will tell them where I got it or who made it, If got it for a good deal…and wont price drop unless they ask.

Sharon - posted on 11/05/2010

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When I was younger. Money was a big deal. Anytime you mentioned something I was wearing I would tell you what it cost.

Normally because I personally had gotten such a fantastic deal on it or because I had splurged and spent a fortune on it. I made a lot of people uncomfortable. I didn't mean to. I also didn't know better. I had always been told that talking money or how much something had cost was a big no no but I had also been told that discussing politics was a no no and that turned out ok with my friends?

It took a while to sink in and no one was rude enough or kind enough to tell me that the $$ talk was discomfitting.

I did finally get it though. Now i only discuss price when specifically asked.

NOW when someone does it to me, I don't care. Unless they're doing it all the time (which is what I think we're talking about here) in which case I try to discretely let them know that what they are doing is tacky and makes people uncomfortable. Its not easy and it can hurt peoples feelings. This is when they run to their BFF who assures them that its perfectly ok to be an ass spouting money matters to all and sundry. Then I become the bad guy. Eh, its not like they're my BFF, lol.

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Yes it is rude. What also annoys me is people asking about how much money you have. A few friend's found out the hubs going to uni next September and the first thing they asked was will yous have enough money though as you're not working...I was like yes and anyways it's none of your business...bloody cheeky sods!

[deleted account]

Are these people insecure about something?

Yup, If you feel the need to brag only about material things, there is most likely something missing elsewhere.

Wanting to make other people feel somehow less then them?

Yup

Maybe they never had anything nice, married well or did well for themselves and want everyone to know?
Sometimes, definitely a lack of self-confidence... or in other cases they just think they are "THE SHIT", they did everything right, they know best and they are much more important than anyone else who didn't get their first house at 19 years old, have a brand new four-wheeler, truck, pool, etc.


Am I the only one that finds this well...rude? Rude, ignorant and annoying...

Krista - posted on 11/05/2010

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If I brag, it's about a deal I got, like when I got a brand-new Land's End cashmere sweater (with the tags still on!) at a second-hand store for TWO FREAKING DOLLARS. So yeah, any bragging I do is more just if I found a really great deal.

[deleted account]

Hy husband's brother is like this. He takes every chance he gets to mention that he makes $114k a year. Honestly, I doubt it. His teenage sons sleep on mattresses on the floor--No Bed! Just a mattress!
He constantly talks about his new $800 bowling ball, or his custom made suits (He is very fat) while his wife walks around dressed in Dollar Store sweatshirts that are not even sewn right and busts her butt working a job AND taking care of the kids and house all the time b/c he is always gone for work.
He apparently spent $3k on chihuahuas so his allergic teen could have a dog.
Honestly, if he really made that much, you would think he could afford a bed for his kids, and some decent clothes and a housekeeper for his wife. When I worked, my husband and I together didn't make that much, and I wore nice clothes and kept a housekeeper. And my son always has an actual bed--honestly, that would the the first thing on my list!

Tara - posted on 11/05/2010

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Rude yes. For me if I talk about money at all it's to brag about the really awesome deal I got on something, or how I found something second hand for 1/10 the cost of retail, etc.
I think frugality is more of an attractive and sought after character trait than frivolity so I tend to gravitate to those kinds of people. But if someone has tons of money and everyone knows and yet they still feel the need to price everything for us as they talk about their life I really believe they are just bragging. They simply want everyone to know how much they can pay for things.
Personally I think it's just advertising their stupidity.
:)

ME - posted on 11/05/2010

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ugh...I know people like this...they talk about the cost of their home, shoes, clothes, etc...and then have the gall to complain about money to me...something like:"Building my half a million dollar home is just draining my bank acct. down to nothing; maybe paying cash for it wasn't the best idea"...really...I feel SOOOO bad for you...SHUT UP!!!

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Toni, I'm like that too. Spending as little as possible for as much and as best quality as possible is awesome.

[deleted account]

The only people I have had any experience of this with have been people who were poor and now have a little (not loads) of money. I don't really pay any attention to people like this, I just think oh yeah ok then, whatever and move the conversation forward.

I am the opposite, I am impressed with myself when I get a bargain, so I'm more likely to say oh this it only cost £5 instead of oh this it was soooooo expensive it cost £50!

When I was working I earned more than all of my friends but I never made them feel 'poor' because we did things that suited their budgets, and I am pleased to say now that I am a SAHM and my friends have better jobs they earn more than me but they don't make me feel poor because we do things to my budget (I have ace friends). IMO if your friends are trying to make themselves seem better than you because they can afford more things than you they are not worthy of being your friends.

[deleted account]

Insecure, bragging and wanting other people to feel smaller, I imagine. It's extremely tacky to talk about money (unless you're with a trusted group of friends or family and it's serious, not bragging). I've run into people who do this (or talk loudly where everyone else can hear them) and I just roll my eyes and walk away. I find it very rude.

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